Had a breakdown at drumline last night. Yeah, it was fun. Ended up crying, screaming, throwing things. Really freaking lovely. I think I scared the piss out of Rosco though. Told him and Russ about my mom telling me to slit my wrists and calling me a whore. So I now have their cell numbers just in case. It was a nice gesture ( Read more... )

I've been eating right again lately. Well I wouldn't say right per se, because I never eat right. But I'm not starving myself anymore. Although I'm not down to the 120's yet. But this time I won't starve myself. I haven't weighed myself in over a week. Kinda afraid to really, because I know I won't be happy with what I see. Such is life ( Read more... )

You seem to experience a lot of mood swings -
extreme highs and torturous lows. Not to be
confused with the normal ups and downs of life,
which most people experience of course. But if
you feel that your mood often swings outside
your control, then it's possible you have
bipolar depression (characterised by
alternating periods of euphoria, energy,
( Read more... )

MARCH:
Attractive personality. sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. ( Read more... )

Someone get me out of here. No I don't have it all bad, but material things (new clothes etc) can't make up for the emotional bullshit I put up with. My mom tells me to go "cut my wrists or whatever you do" and that "the day you turn 18 you are out of here". Yeah, way to raise your child. I seriously want my license so I can just leave. Instead I ( Read more... )

Once again I find myself eating my words. Mike found this diary and well, I'll be damned again. I guess he never did call me the "drumline slut", but he did call me a "kiss slut". Oh well, it doesn't honestly matter ( Read more... )

Stayed after school for the 3 places I had to be at once. Went to the bathroom and lo and behold I realized that something was amiss with my adorable pink gstring. On the T it has a bunch of gems, well it turns out two of the gems had disconnected from each other and I couldn't reconnect them. I tied the thing and walked around with a broken g- ( Read more... )

Its pretty damn hypocritical of teachers. They give me so much homework to do that I'm up until 2am doing the homework, and then they wonder why I fall asleep in their classes. Well I'll be god damned ( Read more... )

I have been cutting since April of 2003. Last night, due to approximately 14 new cuts and scratches, I am now up to number 100. Call them strawberry gashes, crimson regrets, or whatever. This is my ruby-colored sacrifice ( Read more... )