Recent Dreams about People from My Past
I wonder why those people keep coming into my dreams for the last few months. My ex-boyfriends, middle school teachers, high school friends....
The dreams that left biggest impact for me were the ones when my ex showed up.
The first one was almost three weeks ago. I can't really remember most of the events in that dream but I do remember when he suddenly came and hug me from behind, whispering something and kissed my temple gently. Honestly I was petrified back then; not knowing what to do and what to say. Because, well, it has been more than 2 years since the last time he hugged me, although we broke up less than 2 years ago still, it's been a long time, I know.
When I woke up the next morning, all I could think was that he got into some kind of hardship. I don't know. So I mailed him in the afternoon but got replied around 10 pm. Turned out he was sick and been at home for a couple of days.
This dream was yesterday's. And it's about my first boyfriend. We were childhood friends or bestfriends from my part, I don't know about him tho. We've always been together since pre-school, I couldn't help to fall for him. We were so close that I was very familiar with his mother and little sister, until around the end of elementary school. We went to the same middle school again, and that was like the end of our friendship. He turned to be someone entirely different in middle school so.... yeah.
Sometime around my second year in college, we chatted through facebook after I saw a photo of his sister. She changed A LOT. She was dark-skinned and had very curly and short hair the last time I saw her. but the photo was.....uh.....well.... she had turned into someone very pretty makeup magic I supposed. Our conversation grew really well, as if we never been on bad terms, just like normal old friends conversation but warmer. Until, the topic went to our love life.
We talked about his ex-girlfriends and his current girlfriend. Apparently he didn't think that I was one of those exes, but we dated for real, tho, for around 6 months. Maybe because I was the first or something you called puppy love, that he never really thought was exist. I complained of course, but I made it as a joke. The topic became serious when he said that his mom was asking for me, eventhough she knew that he was in a relationship with another girl. His mom asked about me, told him that she liked me much better than that girl, and said that he should've just kept me close because I left my hometown for high school at that moment.
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Can you believe that? She unconsiously said that I am a better partner for him. And honestly my feelings for him was never really gone. That moment, I cried, and I showed him a secret tumblr account which I made only to write my feelings for him; with the newest entry was just couple days before. And that was the last time I exchanged words with him...
Yesterday's dream was clearly affected by that moment, I believe. because his family was also there. His mom, his sister, and even his father. His mom and sister told me something similar to above. They were like.... thanking me for being part of his life; for taking care of him even just for a while. And I could see him smiling at me..... and I was breaking apart.
When the morning came, I felt like crying. because somehow I knew, that would be the last time I see him smiling at me tenderly. I never really saw him smiling as sweet as in the dream. Been too long since the last time I saw his face directly; maybe more than half decade, so that smile meant a lot to me. Somehow, I got a feeling that he will soon be married to that girl. the one he's been dating since the second semester of college. And I can't help feeling crushed.
The dreams that left biggest impact for me were the ones when my ex showed up.
The first one was almost three weeks ago. I can't really remember most of the events in that dream but I do remember when he suddenly came and hug me from behind, whispering something and kissed my temple gently. Honestly I was petrified back then; not knowing what to do and what to say. Because, well, it has been more than 2 years since the last time he hugged me, although we broke up less than 2 years ago still, it's been a long time, I know.
When I woke up the next morning, all I could think was that he got into some kind of hardship. I don't know. So I mailed him in the afternoon but got replied around 10 pm. Turned out he was sick and been at home for a couple of days.
This dream was yesterday's. And it's about my first boyfriend. We were childhood friends or bestfriends from my part, I don't know about him tho. We've always been together since pre-school, I couldn't help to fall for him. We were so close that I was very familiar with his mother and little sister, until around the end of elementary school. We went to the same middle school again, and that was like the end of our friendship. He turned to be someone entirely different in middle school so.... yeah.
Sometime around my second year in college, we chatted through facebook after I saw a photo of his sister. She changed A LOT. She was dark-skinned and had very curly and short hair the last time I saw her. but the photo was.....uh.....well.... she had turned into someone very pretty makeup magic I supposed. Our conversation grew really well, as if we never been on bad terms, just like normal old friends conversation but warmer. Until, the topic went to our love life.
We talked about his ex-girlfriends and his current girlfriend. Apparently he didn't think that I was one of those exes, but we dated for real, tho, for around 6 months. Maybe because I was the first or something you called puppy love, that he never really thought was exist. I complained of course, but I made it as a joke. The topic became serious when he said that his mom was asking for me, eventhough she knew that he was in a relationship with another girl. His mom asked about me, told him that she liked me much better than that girl, and said that he should've just kept me close because I left my hometown for high school at that moment.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Can you believe that? She unconsiously said that I am a better partner for him. And honestly my feelings for him was never really gone. That moment, I cried, and I showed him a secret tumblr account which I made only to write my feelings for him; with the newest entry was just couple days before. And that was the last time I exchanged words with him...
Yesterday's dream was clearly affected by that moment, I believe. because his family was also there. His mom, his sister, and even his father. His mom and sister told me something similar to above. They were like.... thanking me for being part of his life; for taking care of him even just for a while. And I could see him smiling at me..... and I was breaking apart.
When the morning came, I felt like crying. because somehow I knew, that would be the last time I see him smiling at me tenderly. I never really saw him smiling as sweet as in the dream. Been too long since the last time I saw his face directly; maybe more than half decade, so that smile meant a lot to me. Somehow, I got a feeling that he will soon be married to that girl. the one he's been dating since the second semester of college. And I can't help feeling crushed.