Spike also has omegle adventures, apparently. || 003.
You: ello there
Stranger: Hi stranger!
You: how are things on your end?
Stranger: Wonderful! How are you?
You: wonderful eh? that's some high praise. I'm doin alright i guess, the usual sort of hell on earth stuff really
Stranger: Ouch. Why do you say that?
Stranger: What's going wrong in your life?
You: you want the short list or the long, mate? most people don't have the time to dedicate to the troubles of this soul
Stranger: Go for the long one. I've got time. And I'm here for you to help.
You: that's awfully nice for a stranger to say. hope you'll forgive me bein leery of taking that at face value. but if it is sincere, do appreciate the concern.
You: always fine though, I am.
You: in the end
Stranger: Oh yes, i mean what I say
Stranger: Please, tell me what's on your mind
You: Well, you see there, mate, I loved a girl. Was my first mistake, in true, but no stopping it really... I've done a lot for this girl, the greatest sacrifice. But she doesn't remember any of the things I did. Suppose you could say it's like none of it happened. would do it again in a heartbeat just to get her to remember but I may not get the opportunity this time around.
You: Just can't put up with her hatin me, even if I do deserve worse
Stranger: Yes. No body deserves that
You: I do, but ta for sayin so. It's a great pile of mess that I can't fix anyway.
Stranger: Yes, my boyfriend loves me more than I love him.
Stranger: I feel bad saying that, but it's true.
You: That's no way to live, pet. Feel bad for him, but I've been there before and it's no picnic on that side either
Stranger: I knew that was going to be true from the very beginning
Stranger: Don't get me wrong, I do love him very much. But I know that he loves me more.
You: I know where you are, luv. Don't mean to say you're a bad person; you're not. Wouldn't have the strength myself to leave even if it were better for him and all
Stranger: No, I almost left once, well I made a horrible mistake, so I thought he was going to leave me.
You: Know what it is, loving as hard as he does. He can't leave you, pet. Doesn't matter how much it hurts him
Stranger: I was heartbroken. It was then when I realized how much I really loved him.
Stranger: And how much I really depended on him.
You: I know, luv. I know.
You: I'll always love her more than she loves me... if she ever even will love me.
You: But I don't begrudge her that and I bet your bf wouldn't either. He loves you that much
Stranger: What did you mean when you said that he couldn't leave me?
You: He's tied to you, isn't he? Not in a literal way but it's all the same. I couldn't leave Buffy and we're not even together now. It doesn't matter how hard you love or what mistakes you make. He won't leave you because you're a piece of his own self
Stranger: He says that I'm the first person he's really loved
You: Hope you don't mind my askin, sweetheart. How old are you?
Stranger: Only 15
Stranger: Which is weird
You: Not weird at all, love doesn't have a number on its face or nothin.
You: And I would know, luv. Been lovin long before you were alive
Stranger: Well I don't know what love is yet
Stranger: I'm starting to figure out things
Stranger: But I think I'll grow up and figure it all out
You: Know you will, bit. It's a double-edged thing, love is. And it's not always puppies, but it's worth everything in the end
Stranger: You think? I just haven't found that person that's gonna open my eyes to it yet.
You: That's right, know so. You're smart for bein so young, know you'll cotton on
You: One of my only friends, she's Buffy's friend too. She thinks I can win her over again, if I show her I can be a friend first. But it's ..a difficult thing, losin all that ground with her.
Stranger: I hope that the world shows me what I'm looking for eventually
Stranger: Well can I tell you a secret about girls?
Stranger: And how old are you?
You: I'd love a secret, luv
You: I'm... quite a bit older than you
Stranger: Like how old?
Stranger: Like 30?
You: Older
You: Will you still tell us the secret? You've made me curious now
Stranger: Yes!
Stranger: Even if you have to act, and it might be hard for you, but act like you don't want her back
Stranger: Be nice to her, but don't push her
You: Know... I should, huh. Play hard to get. But there's another bloke competing for her heart, and he's a right git. I'm not gonna push her, not this-- early in. Like I said, it's like to her none of us ever happened.
You: But I have to take this right or he's gonna swoop in and ruin everything all over
Stranger: Girls thrive on attention, and we always want what we can't have
You: I'm not much to want, don't know if I could convince her she can't have me. She's Buffy, she could have anyone she wanted, even that awful hunter bloke takin her to the dance
Stranger: A dance?
You: Her homecoming dance
Stranger: And you're over 30, wanting a high school/college girl?
You: It's a might bit more complicated than that. But you could say I am
You: Doesn;t matter how young or old she is, I know I won't quit loving her
Stranger: Please, explain. Are you her teacher or something?
You: No, nothin like that really. She's not your typical girl at all. You could say we were enemies at a time. And now...now, things are confused.
Stranger: How so? I'm here to listen.
You: You're real sweet, luv. I feel bad borrowing your ear
Stranger: No, don't! I'm many a peoples' go to person to talk.
You: She's much more important than most humans are. I don't just say that because I love her. It's hard to explain but her destiny... is unlike any other destiny in the world.
You: When our destinies crossed paths, I tried to kill her. I thought it was-- I thought that was /my/ destiny. But it turned out things are never so black and white. We became friends, after a long time of basically trying to kill each other. And then more...
You: But as I said, she doesn't remember most of it, so I can't exactly win her over through precedent. Have to start over, I do.
Stranger: You tried to kill her?
You: Once upon a time. It seemed like a good idea, stupid as that may sound.
Stranger: Killing someone?
You: Used to kill a lot of people. You could say I'm ..reformed. Know that doesn't make me a good person, but I am tryin to be better. I'm so much different than I was, just have to come up with a way for her to see that
Stranger: Why don't you tell her that? Tell her everything that you've told me.
You: I have, luv. I've told her a lot of things. Trying to let her absorb it all, you know? It's a lot to take in
You: I don't care how long it takes her to come around, I'll be here.
Stranger: Do you have any idea how totally kind you sound?
You: Don't think I sound kind at all really.
You: Just told you I used to kill. Wasn't expecting you to keep talkin to me after that
Stranger: I understand. A vocation is a vocation.
You: A vocation... That's a pleasant way of saying it I guess. Was more a way to keep living. But I enjoyed it too, much as I hate thinking on it now.
Stranger: Well you've told me that you've changed, and I believe you.
You: Not many people do, you know.
Stranger: Well, I do.
Stranger: Maybe I'm just different.
You: You are that, luv. Different can be a beautiful thing
Stranger: I would hardly say I'm beautiful.
You: Feel like we oughta be painting each other's nails, all the sharing we've done.
Stranger: Ha, mine are already painted pink.
You: Lovely color for em. Should touch mine up today if I find the time. ..or some polish.
Stranger: Ha a guy wearing polish?
You: Don't underestimate yourself, pet, that's the best advice I can give. We all do it, but it doesn't help nothing. I'm sure you're beautiful
You: And no judgment on the nail polish, eh? You forgive murder but not a little primping? For shame
Stranger: Ha I guess I'm just kind of odd.
You: Nothing wrong with odd.
Stranger: Eh. Well I hope that things work out for you, I've got to go.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Stranger: How do you make love stay?
You: don't think you do, mate
Stranger: What do you mean?
You: love doesn't stay, from my experience
Stranger: That's just because you haven't found a way to make it stay.
You: that's right.
You: if there is a way, I don't know it. Maybe we're not meant to know. Maybe it just ..happens
You: most things to do with love do that, you know. just happen, with no rhyme or reason.
Stranger: There has to be a reason. /Everything/ has a reason. It's all supposed to fit together. Love isn't some kind of special exception.
You: That's where you're wrong. It's the only exception
Stranger: And how would you know?
You: i've done a lot of things for love. none of them smart. but that's what love does to us, and there's no use regrettin or taking it back. love just /is/. Everything else is logic; not love.
Stranger: I've done a lot of things for love, too. And none of it mattered in the end. It just hurt. It's an endless cycle of pain. But there has to be an answer. It's an impossible question, like asking why there's good or evil or how many angels can dance on the head of a pin. But even the most absolute questions have answers. If I keep asking, maybe I'll find mine.
You: can only wish you luck, I guess. But me, don't think that answer would do any good to know. If you knew how to make it stay wouldn't be worth keeping
Stranger: That's bullshit. Are you saying if you knew how to make a cake it wouldn't be worth eating?
You: Telling you, mate, love isn't like anything else. isn't like making a cake or.. learning to salsa. You can't apply rules to it because it doesn't obey them.
Stranger: Aren't you going to ask to cyber with me or something right about now?
You: Tch, no. This place is notorious for that, but it's not why I'm here. Guess I was just lookin for a little company, and not of the nude variety.
Stranger: You have to really scrape the bottom of the barrel to find that, I've found
Stranger: So how do you make connections if you're ... basically a sociopath?
You: Sociopaths can make connections too, you know. Known a few in my day. Just takes work, and maybe some sayin what people wanna hear. But it can be done
You: are you sayin I'm the bottom of the barrel? well. been called worse things.
Stranger: It's a good bottom. Like ice cream under a ton of unnecessary whipped cream
Stranger: I try to say what people want to hear but it always ends up being the wrong thing. Or I get caught up in the lie
You: I never say no to unnecessary whipped cream
You: what's that like then, being a sociopath?
Stranger: Me either, really
Stranger: It's like being at a dance where everyone else knows the steps. And you try to fake it, but it still never turns out right. Someone always knows. I guess. I mean, I don't think I am. But everyone else says it, so what if it's true?
You: What if it's not? Think you're so wrapped up in this mate it's got a hold on you. Take a few steps back
Stranger: Wrapped up in what? Trying to find someone who cares about me?
You: No, no. In this sociopath business. There's no shame in wantin company. We all want that
You: If you want human connection, I doubt you are one anyway
Stranger: But I killed hundreds of people and I didn't even /care/. It didn't mean anything to me. Even if I'm not a sociopath, I'm still a monster. I'm not anything good
You: I've done the same, and living with yourself isn't great when all's said and done.
You: But who's to say if we want to be different, we can't be?
Stranger: What do you mean, you did the same?
You: Killed hundreds of people. Maybe more.
Stranger: And you're just hanging out on omegle?
You: Could ask the same of you, mate
Stranger: I'm taking a random sample of the population for solutions to the making love stay thing.
Stranger: And sometimes I get lonely ...
You: Lonely's one word for it. Seems we found more than the bottom of the ice cream barrel
You: Love made us monsters stop killing, and who knows where we go from here?
Stranger: What's more than the bottom of the ice cream barrel?
Stranger: I don't know. And that's kind of presumptuous of you. I just said I killed people, I never said I stopped.
You: Well, whatever then. That you're considering stopping is enough to know love's got its hold.
You: That you and I found each other on this thing. What're the odds?
Stranger: ... Do you realize how completely ridiculous you sound when you say that?
Stranger: Love doesn't have some kind of ~hold~ on me. I had it, now it's gone, and I want it back but I'll probably never have it again. It dropped me. Love dropped me.
You: Love does that to the best of us. ..and the worst of us, yeah? Know how ridiculous I sound, but it's just how it is, isn't it
Stranger: That doesn't even make any sense.
You: sure it does. Don't expect you to understand the first go around, but love's dropped me on my head more times than I care to rehash
Stranger: I've went around plenty of times, thank you
You: Might want to repeat that one back to yourself..
You: anyhow, wasn't my point
Stranger: ... Whatever
You: Love does that, it leaves. doesn't make it less real
Stranger: Yeah, I get that. But it's still ... I don't know. I don't /want/ it to leave. What is so hard to understand about that?
You: I don't follow.
Stranger: That makes two of us
You: it doesn't matter if you want to stay, if love doesn't you're out of luck
Stranger: That's why you make love stay
You: Told you already, forcing love to stay takes all the beauty out of it in the first place. If it can't stay on its own, wasn't meant to be.
You: Much as I'm sorry to say
Stranger: Maybe love doesn't know that it wants to stay yet, so you have to help it see
You: Been trying to apply that logic myself.
Stranger: And how's it been working for you?
You: hasn't been
You: But I won't quit, so maybe... no. Still don't got much hope that I won't fuck it up somehow.
Stranger: Yeah, well, you probably will
You: know that
You: She used to see me for who I am, but now time's gone and mucked it up. Still, can't help but try, even if I don't deserve the chance
Stranger: I know how that goes. I still haven't gotten anywhere with any of it. After it happens so many times, you start to think maybe you're meant to be alone.
You: Know I am, that, by now. But maybe there's still part of me that hopes
Stranger: When I figure out how to make connections, I guess the making love stay part will come with it
You: I hope so, mate. Don't just say that in passing, I really hope you find what it is you're searching for
Stranger: Yeah, you too, I guess.
Stranger: Do all british people actually bother typing mate and all crap up?
You: Dunno. Guess I do, though I hadn't really noticed til you pointed it out
Stranger: I notice things. I'm a pretty observant guy
You: So I see
You: Where are you from then
Stranger: New York
You: Other side of the world then. Meaning the US. I'm California way
Stranger: I've spent a lot of time in California. It doesn't really compare to New York imo
You: hey, I won't argue. The dragons and brimstone would put me off too
Stranger: ...
Stranger: Your California has dragons and brimstone?
You: I know, I know.
You: And it doesn't actually /have/ brimstone. Felt cheated by that one, myself
Stranger: California didn't have either of those things last time I was there. And I was in LA. Just saying.
You: It's... a long story, mate.
Stranger: It's become pretty obvious that neither of us are going anywhere any time soon
You: Alright, well, it's a bit...recent to answer your question. But no one can see the mess California is from the outside. It's ah, something like self-contained. Not that I really expect you to believe me, eh? It's just .. Hell on Earth.
Stranger: No, I believe you. It's kinda funny actually. I know a guy who lives on Hell on Earth.
You: ..you do? What's his name? Maybe I know him
Stranger: Spike? Looks like Billy Idol and talks like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins?
You: ...................
You: I do not talk like Dick van Dyke.
You: and Billy Idol looks like /me/
Stranger: You totally do. I expect you to start singing about sweeping chimneys any day now
You: Gabby, what the hell are you doing on this thing?
You: How can I make love stay? /Really?/
Stranger: I don't know what you're talking about
Stranger: That's not my name
Stranger: You've mistaken me for someone else
You: Liked you better when you were just impressed with my railroad spikes.
Stranger: What railroad spikes? I still have no idea what you're talking about
You: That's just brilliant, mate. Brilliant.
Stranger: And for the record, how do you make love stay is not nearly as ridiculous as your speel about how love makes the world go round and every heart is precious or whatever the hell you were talking about
Stranger: I already forgot most of it
You: Yeah well.
You: So did I.
Stranger: Did you really.
You: ...Maybe.
Stranger: It sounded like you spent way too much time thinking about it to just magically forget it
Stranger: You really need to get out of hell
Stranger: Get a hobby
You: Like what, poking people's brains? You're one to talk.
Stranger: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT
You: That's just great.
Stranger: It sure is. It's great to be someone who doesn't poke around people's brains
You: ...
Stranger: What?
You: You're right, I do spend too much time thinking on it. But in my defense, don't think you're much better if you're hitting up this place for a "sampling"
Stranger: It's not like the answers would be any better if I asked the community. In fact, I did ask the community
Stranger: It didn't produce anything useful
You: The Community never produces anything useful though, does it?
Stranger: Maybe once
You: Does this come with a story?
Stranger: No?
You: would've been better with a story
Stranger: Well I'm not your mother, and this isn't bedtime
You: Good on you then. I killed my mum a long time ago
Stranger: Yeah, me too. That doesn't make you special
You have disconnected.