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I'm in a very grouchy mood - a combination of little sleep over the past month due to leg pain, a headache, and grief from a former friend. So... you've been warned.
I used to have a friend called Lee. We met in Junior High and I was pretty much the only one who didn't laugh at him or taunt him. He has a form of Cerebral Palsy that still allows him to walk, but with only his left side working, it looks pretty... well... pathetic. Realize that I had the 60's nerd look going myself - large black-rimmed glasses, a tad over 5 feet tall and weighing probably around 65-70 pounds, so I understood some of his plight. Anyways, to shorten the story, Lee's got it stuck in his head that I'm a "computer whiz," and I've spent the last 30+ years telling him that I'm not. It especially gets annoying when he asks for hardware help. "Hey, Lee, I drive a car - that doesn't mean I know how to fix one." One night (November? December?) he called at 11PM to ask me for some hardware help. I again reminded him that a programmer and a tech are completely different. He again said "whatever" and continued. I then must have made a suggestion like "please call me at a decent hour so that I'll be awake enough to yell at you" or something to that effect, at which point he hung up. Some time later he informed Pat and me that he was no longer our friend (He has since mailed Pat to let her know that she's OK, it's just me he'll never speak to again, but Pat just laughed and didn't reply back). I'm sure he's waiting for me to relent and apologize, but I can't for the life of me think of a way to do that without feeling like a total fool. Am I wrong?
So, that brings me to this week. I had a friend with a few annoying habits. (However, I have my own annoying habits, so I'm grateful to have the few friends I've got.) Here's our last txts to each other:
5:19PM, Me: ... I'm very sorry.
5:27PM, Him: I'm very sorry as well.
Boring stuff, right? Except, that's the first txt or email from him in my memory (or since at least the last 7 months) that has an actual apology in it! I've gotten "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I'm sure you understand now why I was angry," but never an outright, "I'm sorry if I upset you." He claims he's done it "far too many times" so I asked him to show me an example. His reply was "I have said it more than once." Fine. Give me a date and time and I'll apologize on my belly. But be warned: I'm a math geek. I have all the emails you've sent to me over the last few years, and I've already done the preliminary analysis. So, unless I'm missing something...
And as for subtlety? Me: "I haven't been sleeping well lately." His reply? Not "Oh? What's wrong?" More likely it's either "Oh, me too" or no reply at all. Yes, I was fishing for sympathy. I guess I need bigger bait.
So now I have 2 less friends in my stable. And I can't afford to lose many more. I have a lot of people who love Rufus, but that's just a character, and probably not for much longer. I don't get emails to Mayer inviting him over for dinner or a beer or a game of whatever. Our few attempts to invite people to a party over the years has usually resulted in a cancellation over lack of interest. I remember the occasional rennie party where the cloven orange was passed around, but "obviously" I wasn't interested in the silliness of the young folks... sigh... (In reality, it reminded of those awkward jr. high school days all over again - on the outside looking in) Anybody know what it's like to watch this game for an hour and know you're invisible?
Well, end of rant. I'm heading back to bed, trying to catch up on missing sleep. I've got an early Weds. - I've been asked to help bring the development system down and back up so the UNIX gurus can install some patches, so I'll be working around 5:30AM prepping the Windows and UNIX servers before the 6AM deadline. But that's OK. It's not like I have a life...
I used to have a friend called Lee. We met in Junior High and I was pretty much the only one who didn't laugh at him or taunt him. He has a form of Cerebral Palsy that still allows him to walk, but with only his left side working, it looks pretty... well... pathetic. Realize that I had the 60's nerd look going myself - large black-rimmed glasses, a tad over 5 feet tall and weighing probably around 65-70 pounds, so I understood some of his plight. Anyways, to shorten the story, Lee's got it stuck in his head that I'm a "computer whiz," and I've spent the last 30+ years telling him that I'm not. It especially gets annoying when he asks for hardware help. "Hey, Lee, I drive a car - that doesn't mean I know how to fix one." One night (November? December?) he called at 11PM to ask me for some hardware help. I again reminded him that a programmer and a tech are completely different. He again said "whatever" and continued. I then must have made a suggestion like "please call me at a decent hour so that I'll be awake enough to yell at you" or something to that effect, at which point he hung up. Some time later he informed Pat and me that he was no longer our friend (He has since mailed Pat to let her know that she's OK, it's just me he'll never speak to again, but Pat just laughed and didn't reply back). I'm sure he's waiting for me to relent and apologize, but I can't for the life of me think of a way to do that without feeling like a total fool. Am I wrong?
So, that brings me to this week. I had a friend with a few annoying habits. (However, I have my own annoying habits, so I'm grateful to have the few friends I've got.) Here's our last txts to each other:
5:19PM, Me: ... I'm very sorry.
5:27PM, Him: I'm very sorry as well.
Boring stuff, right? Except, that's the first txt or email from him in my memory (or since at least the last 7 months) that has an actual apology in it! I've gotten "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I'm sure you understand now why I was angry," but never an outright, "I'm sorry if I upset you." He claims he's done it "far too many times" so I asked him to show me an example. His reply was "I have said it more than once." Fine. Give me a date and time and I'll apologize on my belly. But be warned: I'm a math geek. I have all the emails you've sent to me over the last few years, and I've already done the preliminary analysis. So, unless I'm missing something...
And as for subtlety? Me: "I haven't been sleeping well lately." His reply? Not "Oh? What's wrong?" More likely it's either "Oh, me too" or no reply at all. Yes, I was fishing for sympathy. I guess I need bigger bait.
So now I have 2 less friends in my stable. And I can't afford to lose many more. I have a lot of people who love Rufus, but that's just a character, and probably not for much longer. I don't get emails to Mayer inviting him over for dinner or a beer or a game of whatever. Our few attempts to invite people to a party over the years has usually resulted in a cancellation over lack of interest. I remember the occasional rennie party where the cloven orange was passed around, but "obviously" I wasn't interested in the silliness of the young folks... sigh... (In reality, it reminded of those awkward jr. high school days all over again - on the outside looking in) Anybody know what it's like to watch this game for an hour and know you're invisible?
Well, end of rant. I'm heading back to bed, trying to catch up on missing sleep. I've got an early Weds. - I've been asked to help bring the development system down and back up so the UNIX gurus can install some patches, so I'll be working around 5:30AM prepping the Windows and UNIX servers before the 6AM deadline. But that's OK. It's not like I have a life...