(no subject)
‘ I’m cool. Thanks Rei, but you can go ahead. I’ll make sure you don’t do anything stupid.’ I smiled lovingly, however inside I was dreading the upcoming event.
But Reita threw the sticks back in the bag and left it on the bed, grunting. Huh?
‘ You’re gonna save it till later? Wow, and here I thought you couldn’t get enough of the stuff.’
I froze when Reita placed a warm hand on my cheek, he was looking at me funny.
‘ I don’t want them anymore Ruki. I want to stop. But... I don’t want THIS to stop... I’ve only been taking them from you so that... I...’ He ran out of words. My heart was beating way too fast. Was my brain computing right? This sounded an awful lot like..
‘Ru... I think, I might be-’
BANG.
What the fuck was that? And how dare it ruin such a crucial moment.
I had no more time to mentally curse because the bedroom door flew open, and in entered a flustered looking Aoi. He slammed the door closed, and when his sight landed on the two of us in bed, I saw quite an unreadable expression fly across his features.
It soon disappeared under my scrutiny, and I was brought to attention that Reita had started freaking out.
‘ Aoi! Its not what it looks like! What are you doing here?!’ The poor idiot looked like a deer caught in headlights, and he pulled the duvet up to his chin despite the fact that he’d put his T-shirt back on, whereas I on the other hand was wearing nothing.
Meanwhile, Aoi was panting, his eyes flitting across the room.
‘ Shit.’
He looked more terrified than the time that rabid fangirl had broke into our dressing room and made a beeline for him. Something must have been seriously wrong.
Finally, I spoke up.
‘ What the hell’s going on Aoi?’
Reita was still babbling away beside me, and was hiding the plastic bag beneath the bedcovers in vain.
‘I’m busted... The cops called at my door... I had to escape through the back...’
When Reita’s rambling escalated, Aoi stomped his foot on the hard floor.
‘ Oh for fucks sakes Reita shut up!’ He snapped.
‘ I know exactly what’s going on, I know exactly what you have under that bed sheet and I also know exactly where Ruki gets it from!’
Woah. That shut him up. Wait- What?! Oh no you fucking didn’t! Oh god please no. Tell me this was a bad dream. Just... don’t say anymore... Fucking hell.
‘ Aoi!’ I hissed, giving him a fierce glare. Everything I’d worked for was about to crumble down.
‘ W... what?’ Reita’s eyes were still wide, and he’d let go of the bed cover, mouth hung open in disbelief.
Aoi sighed, rubbing his temple and frowned at both of us. He shot me an apologetic look before starting his sentence. I was doomed.
‘ Reita... I’m not gonna beat about the bush. Ruki sleeps with me for the drugs. So that he can sleep with you. Because he loves you. And you’re clearly a blind dumbass if you haven’t figured that out for yourself yet.’
Ouch. That was my soul right there, being shredded up into tiny, tiny pieces, floating away like ashes of my misery. I could vaguely hear the guitarist carrying on his speech, but I couldn’t listen because my life was busy falling apart.
‘ I get the drugs from a dealer, use them as pay for Ruki’s ass, then he comes over to yours on the same night and does exactly the same thing.‘
‘ Why...’ my whisper was so quiet it was barely audible.
‘ Why... Why...’ I sounded like a stuck record. Get a grip. This was my last and only chance to actually make a change. This was the most awful, most strange situation I think any of us had ever been put in, and when I looked at Reita face, my shattered remains of a heart completely dissolved.
Saying that he looked upset would be an understatement. He looked torn, his dark eyes were welling with tears, and as soon as our eyes met I felt like I could vomit with shame.
‘ Ruki...’ His voice trembled ‘Is it true...? Is this all true?’
I could only nod, mirroring the exact same expression has him.
‘ Ruki.’ He said my name even though I was already looking right at him, so I just nodded again, motioning him to go on.
‘ Do you know what I was about to tell you?’ No, I didn’t. But I wanted to, it sounded promising, and I momentarily detested Aoi’s guts for interrupting our deep conversation.
So I shook my head. I must have lost the inability to speak.
‘ I was about to tell you...’ His voice wavered, and he took a deep breath.
‘ I was about to tell you... That... I’m in love with you.’
Shit, fuck, bollocks, crap, and any other swear word that could convey my joy, regret, and all the other contradicting emotions that burst through me. Reita loved me. Reita loved me. And this would have all gone according to my dreams if that damned dark haired guitarist hadn’t burst in like that. What on earth would he think of me now?
A tear drop fell from my eye without me realising, and this time it wasn’t wiped away.
‘ Reita... Reita... I’m so sorry... I did it for you.’ That’s about the lamest plea I had ever heard in my life, such a pity it came from my own lips. But what happened next was unexpected. I thought he would be angry at me. Maybe he was. But the bassist’s attention was now on the other man in the room, and without warning he leapt up from the bed and grabbed Aoi’s shirt, pushing him hard against the wall. I remembered that I was still naked, so stayed beneath the sheets.
‘ Why the FUCK did you do this, huh?! Why did you make him do that?! Why did you make him go through all of this just so can have you way with him when you know DAMNED WELL it’s cruel?!’ He roared. Boy, he was furious. A part of me was cheering because Reita had understood, and he’d taken my side.
Aoi snarled back.
‘ What?! Don’t you realise that what your saying is complete hypocrisy?! He’s doing the exact same thing to you! Making you his play doll and paying you for it!’
I could tell that Reita was so very close to punching the elder‘s face in. But instead, his fist hit the wall, silencing Aoi.
‘But there’s a fucking difference Aoi! Ruki LOVES me! That’s why he was doing it, he fucking LOVES me!’
‘ Well then it’s the same thing!! I fucking love HIM, okay?! THAT’S why I was doing it!’
Ho shiz. Now this was news. Two confessions in one day? Insane. And suddenly, it all made freaking sense. This was some stupid love triangle. Aoi didn’t really want to help me be with Reita, he just wanted to sleep with me, and saw the opportunity to try and lure me in. Great going Aoi. Absolutely genius.
The guitarist was let go. He looked distraught, and I couldn’t decide if I should feel sorry for him or not. He didn’t even look me in the eye, just stared gloomily at the floor.
‘No Aoi. Its not the same thing. Because I love him back. We love EACHOTHER.’
Aww. Reita turned to face me, a mixture of love and paranoia in his eyes. His finger pointed towards Aoi.
‘Ruki. Do you love this man? Do you love him back? Answer for him.’
‘No.’ It was as simple as that. I sure as hell didn’t know how I felt about him at this moment. I guess I felt remorse for him, and despite being a bumpy road, our plan had indeed got me to the place in Reita’s heart that I wanted to be in. But he’d lied.
Reita simply opened his bedroom door, crossing his arms.
‘Sorry dude. But you’ll have to hide somewhere else. You’re the one who got yourself into this mess.’
He left. Which meant it was just me and Reita now. Oh yes. We needed to talk, so I got up and walked towards him, despite the complete lack of clothes. Right before he’d swept across the room and taken me into his arms. He kissed me passionately, tenderly, and it felt like nothing else, it felt nothing like how we had kissed before. I practically melted right there in his hold, dripping into a sloppy mess and if he hadn’t have been gripping me tightly I would have surely dropped right down to the floor.
Words weren’t needed because he pushed me back onto his bed, laying over the top of me, and I trembled in excitement at his dominating behaviour. I’d always wanted it to be this way, and when his tongue entered my mouth, both of our moans were as real as they could ever be. It was all out in the open now, and it had given him confidence to do whatever he wanted.
Whilst we were making love, he apologized. Forcing my eyes open, I stared up at him with my big lustful eyes.
‘Ahh... Why are you sorry...? Nghh... What for?’ It was extremely difficult to have a conversation with his rock hard cock ramming into me. He leant down and captured my lips in a wet kiss, while I clung onto his shoulders, attempting to keep my rapidly dissipating sanity.
‘I’ve always loved you Ru... Uhnn... Always... Before any of this started...’ He bucked his hips extra hard, hitting my prostate dead on and I howled in pleasure. I only just managed to register what he’d said, but the way he was moving in and out of me prevented me from being even the slightest bit angry or upset.
‘I should have said... Sooner...’ He continued to struggle on talking, his thrusts getting quicker and harder as we both neared the edge.
‘I could have saved all this pain... If only I’d have known... I feel like I’ve used you... ahhh... I’m so sorry...‘ His hand travelled down till it was clutching my leaking member, and he stroked me roughly in time with his movements.
‘I love you... So much baby...’
‘Oh god...’ My stomach tightened and I was overwhelmed by the sensations and joy that flowed through my entire body.
‘I love you too... Uhhnn... Reita!’ I called out his name as I came hard over our stomachs, nails raking down his beautiful shoulder blades. He wasn’t far behind me, my clenching muscles sending him into heaven and he groaned my name, releasing his seed inside me. And it felt wonderful.
It felt right. I hadn’t felt this amazing for such a long time. Being with Reita was the one thing I wanted, and now that I had it, it felt like a tombstone had been lifted from my head, he was picking up the pieces of my heart and fitting them back together again, rejuvenating my soul. I couldn’t care less what happened to Aoi.
‘Can you quit them?’ I watched him pull out and roll over to my side, smothering me in a warm cuddle.
‘Sure I can Ru.‘ He turned serious and stroked the side of my head. ‘My ultimate high is you, I don’t need those damn things anymore.’
That was all I needed to hear, to ensure that we could both be happy and spend the rest of our lives together, with no more suffering, no more longing and no more lying. I thanked the sweet lord for such a happy ending.