Deadly Sins by Lora Leigh
I have a real humdinger of a book. The last one is still on hold because it feels me with the rage. This one...is just so bad. XD So incredibly bad! The prose is terrible, the similes are terrible, and the sex is just uck. But it is hilarious. Unlike Moonlight Warrior. See, I want my reviews to be funny, not so much rage induced. Funny how many romance books are just incredibly bad to the point of not funny.
Anyway, I have Deadly Sins by Lora Leigh. Just in case you need this book.
Witnesses to a shocking crime, three men must face the dangers of the past to unlock the passion in their hearts.
Logan Callahan has fought hard to forget what happened that fateful day, so long ago. But every night he tries to sleep, he relives the nightmare. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the woman whose life he could not save.
A newcomer in town, Sky O'Brien is a mystery to Logan. Like him, she is a night owl. Like him, she is fighting her own demons. Like him, she hides a secret in her eyes a fire that consumes him with every glance. Could she be the one to heal him?
When Logan's ex-girlfriend is brutally murdered, his past implicates him as suspect and his new neighbor Sky may be the only person he can turn to. Together, they share an attraction that can't be denied. But as he searches for the real killer, he discovers that Sky is tracking down a murderer too and she intends to use him to do it.
It's a murder mystery!
Obligatory warning: There will be mentions of rape and torture since the killer is apparently a sick fluck. I will do my best to just skim over that for the sake of the review but will warn with red font when I can.
Also, obligatory: Don't sue me, this is a parody review and I mean no offense.
Prologue
Is confusing. Some guy named Ryan is undercover as an assassin and is contacted to go to the county and do some murdering? I dunno, vague hints about vaguely important people? Three pages do not clue me in as to why this is important.
Chapter One
To set up the scene for this story you must know that there is a "Sweetrock Slasher" going around Corbin County for decades and is apparently targeting a certain family. And my god, the names of these darling snowflakes: Logan, Rafer, and Crowe. Oh, and our heroine Skye.
Skye is there, undercover as herself? (God, who isn't undercover in this book?..wait, is undercover a pun???) She's trying to figure out who murdered her friend Amy, who had been killed because she was intimate with Logan. Logan is our hero and kind of fucking creepy already. We're seven pages in and I get this,
He snorted at her mockery. "Sweetheart, I love a good comedy, and watching you dance has become the highlight of my evenings."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Peeping Tom."
"Exhibitionist," he continued. "You knew I was watching."
"Of course I did." The lie came easily.
Normal reactions aside, Skye must become his lover so she'll be targeted by the killer and then she can catch him. Sound logic there, lady. FBI's brightest. But really, Logan is just a poor, unfortunate soul. He and his cousins are the black sheep of the county and are hated because his rich family deems it so. I guess we can all rela-
Moving quickly along the sidewalk and crossing to the next, he came up on Skye as she walked along the well-lit streets.
Damn, she had an ass.
He had to grit his teeth, had to restrain the urge to reach down and shift his erection just a little to the side.
I'm trying to believe you aren't the serial killer, Logan. You're not helping.
So he walks her home from the weekly social dance thing and they play character exposition. And then Logan goes weird again. This is just the first chapter!
"Sleep well, cutie," she drawled before turning to go inside.
"Skye, stop this game you're playing."
Before she could evade him, his fingers curled around her arm and he pulled her back to him.
Skye found herself suddenly flush against him, staring up at him in shock as the hard imprint of his erection pressed into her lower stomach.
Swallowing tightly, the feel of the heavy shaft beneath his jeans sent a spike of trepidation racing through her. She now had proof that he wasn't exactly small in that department.
"What game?" Oh God, who knew that finding the strength to sound innocent would be so hard?
Then he was pushing the fingers of his free hand into the back of her hair, clenching, sending sharp spikes of sensation racing across her scalp, he tugged until she was staring up at him, eyes wide.
Like, call 911 strange...
Chapter Two
Now, I'm sure we just got off to the wrong foot with Logan. He's probably a stand up guy who is under a lot of stress and fear because-
His dick was spike hard, throbbing like a hunger that was damned hard to deny, and he was standing there like a fucking teenager staring into his best girl's window."
No, you kind of sound like a stalker, Logan. With a problem. I've heard of being hung up on a person before, but actively looking into their windows??
Apparently he's the landlord and she's renting the house next door to him. Which actually makes this creepier than it already was! And being the paranoid man he is, he does a background check on her. Which...yeah, ok, I can sort of understand that. He is the landlord and the "barons" that run the town are actively trying to ruin his life, etc and so on. He's still just freakin weird. Case in point:
Suspicion turned to hunger as she came into view.
Long, dark waves spilled down her back, and she was wearing another one of those damned, vintage nightgowns that made the animal hunger that already tore through his balls rise to a howl of pure lust.
Did his testes just turn into werewolves? Oh, and yeah, he's still just watching her through her own window. Dude. For the scant 5% out there that think maybe that's not too bad:
He'd deliberately left the lights out, so she would believe that he was gone. For the past week, she hadn't danced for him once.
For a page we get her dancing to "fuck me" music while he watches and rageboners. The more insights I get from his pov, the less I like him, especially when he's going on about how she needs a "man's touch." Then his little peep show is interrupted by the arrival of his grandfather, a hateful bastard named Saul. Saul has brought him a puppy!
No, really...he brought him a Chinese Pug puppy. Logan doesn't want it because the last puppy he'd had was poisoned by some asshole and the vet refused to treat it because the barons deemed it so.
1. I find it hard to believe the town has just one vet. I live in the smallest town possible and I can name four vets just in the nearest twenty miles. Especially if it is a farming community. 2. Being as how they are medical, I doubt most vets are going to turn away a dying animal. It would be like a doctor turning away a dying person. Can it happen? Hell yeah. Does it happen often? I like to think not.
Whoever had poisoned the dog tried to kill Logan. Anyway, the old man hates Logan, Logan hates him and they rage talk about how much they hate. Skye shows up because of course, and Saul ditches the runt and flees like a ninja. Logan decides he doesn't want the dog and is kind of a dick to the puppy. Then he tells Skye to fuck off, changes his mind, and then grabs her when she tries to leave.
I'M TRYING TO LIKE YOU, GUY. REALLY.
Chapter Three
His cock tried to push past his jeans, her shorts, and straight into the heart of her feminine core.
Even in context, wow. So of course he's consumed by his "passions" and can't let her go and the kiss is just that good. Here are some highlights:
Surviving meant holding on to her for a little while longer.
-
Sex didn't control him; he controlled it.
-
He'd never felt this with a kiss in his life. He'd never felt his entire body come alive in quite this way. And it was definitely coming alive. Every nerve ending was suddenly tingling with heat.
-
He swore he could feel the heat and dampness of her sweet little pussy through their clothes.
-
He'd never believed pleasure like this could exist with just a kiss. Hell, not for a man. A woman maybe; they were softer, sweeter. They thrived on romance and soft words and gentle touches. A man was just fucking hungry.
Well, I'm so glad you could learn us on what we're supposed to be feeling, Logan. -_o And now Skye's take on the kiss with her sentient vagina.
As she gasped, arching to him, a shudder raced through her body and seemed to explode in hunger. Her senses were flooded with a need that didn't make sense, as her sex grew impossibly wetter, preparing, begging for possession.
Unfortunately, Logan likes to talk dirty and is terrible at it.
"I've been dying to taste those hard little nipples."
"You taste like candy, Skye. I have a helluva sweet tooth."
-
"I'm going to end up taking you against this tree if we don't stop this." His voice was ragged, a gravely sound of hunger that clenched her womb and amped the power of each sensation charging through her.
Her womb does a lot of that. But Logan puts a stop to their play date and tells her that he only spends one night with a lover and then cuts ties. And he only sleeps with women a hundred miles from his town. Which..wait, what? How does that work? Does he get prostitutes? Does he got through a dating site? You know what would be more useful? To leave the fucking town and never come back.
Skye storms off after vowing to jolly his roger and Logan remembers the puppy. His logic thus follows: The puppy is too frail and weak to take care of itself -> if he cares for it, someone will try to harm it -> he'll leave it outside to fend for itself -> then try to find a home for it later with some neighbor.
*slow clap* More incoming later. I can't wait.
Anyway, I have Deadly Sins by Lora Leigh. Just in case you need this book.
Witnesses to a shocking crime, three men must face the dangers of the past to unlock the passion in their hearts.
Logan Callahan has fought hard to forget what happened that fateful day, so long ago. But every night he tries to sleep, he relives the nightmare. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees the woman whose life he could not save.
A newcomer in town, Sky O'Brien is a mystery to Logan. Like him, she is a night owl. Like him, she is fighting her own demons. Like him, she hides a secret in her eyes a fire that consumes him with every glance. Could she be the one to heal him?
When Logan's ex-girlfriend is brutally murdered, his past implicates him as suspect and his new neighbor Sky may be the only person he can turn to. Together, they share an attraction that can't be denied. But as he searches for the real killer, he discovers that Sky is tracking down a murderer too and she intends to use him to do it.
It's a murder mystery!
Obligatory warning: There will be mentions of rape and torture since the killer is apparently a sick fluck. I will do my best to just skim over that for the sake of the review but will warn with red font when I can.
Also, obligatory: Don't sue me, this is a parody review and I mean no offense.
Prologue
Is confusing. Some guy named Ryan is undercover as an assassin and is contacted to go to the county and do some murdering? I dunno, vague hints about vaguely important people? Three pages do not clue me in as to why this is important.
Chapter One
To set up the scene for this story you must know that there is a "Sweetrock Slasher" going around Corbin County for decades and is apparently targeting a certain family. And my god, the names of these darling snowflakes: Logan, Rafer, and Crowe. Oh, and our heroine Skye.
Skye is there, undercover as herself? (God, who isn't undercover in this book?..wait, is undercover a pun???) She's trying to figure out who murdered her friend Amy, who had been killed because she was intimate with Logan. Logan is our hero and kind of fucking creepy already. We're seven pages in and I get this,
He snorted at her mockery. "Sweetheart, I love a good comedy, and watching you dance has become the highlight of my evenings."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Peeping Tom."
"Exhibitionist," he continued. "You knew I was watching."
"Of course I did." The lie came easily.
Normal reactions aside, Skye must become his lover so she'll be targeted by the killer and then she can catch him. Sound logic there, lady. FBI's brightest. But really, Logan is just a poor, unfortunate soul. He and his cousins are the black sheep of the county and are hated because his rich family deems it so. I guess we can all rela-
Moving quickly along the sidewalk and crossing to the next, he came up on Skye as she walked along the well-lit streets.
Damn, she had an ass.
He had to grit his teeth, had to restrain the urge to reach down and shift his erection just a little to the side.
I'm trying to believe you aren't the serial killer, Logan. You're not helping.
So he walks her home from the weekly social dance thing and they play character exposition. And then Logan goes weird again. This is just the first chapter!
"Sleep well, cutie," she drawled before turning to go inside.
"Skye, stop this game you're playing."
Before she could evade him, his fingers curled around her arm and he pulled her back to him.
Skye found herself suddenly flush against him, staring up at him in shock as the hard imprint of his erection pressed into her lower stomach.
Swallowing tightly, the feel of the heavy shaft beneath his jeans sent a spike of trepidation racing through her. She now had proof that he wasn't exactly small in that department.
"What game?" Oh God, who knew that finding the strength to sound innocent would be so hard?
Then he was pushing the fingers of his free hand into the back of her hair, clenching, sending sharp spikes of sensation racing across her scalp, he tugged until she was staring up at him, eyes wide.
Like, call 911 strange...
Chapter Two
Now, I'm sure we just got off to the wrong foot with Logan. He's probably a stand up guy who is under a lot of stress and fear because-
His dick was spike hard, throbbing like a hunger that was damned hard to deny, and he was standing there like a fucking teenager staring into his best girl's window."
No, you kind of sound like a stalker, Logan. With a problem. I've heard of being hung up on a person before, but actively looking into their windows??
Apparently he's the landlord and she's renting the house next door to him. Which actually makes this creepier than it already was! And being the paranoid man he is, he does a background check on her. Which...yeah, ok, I can sort of understand that. He is the landlord and the "barons" that run the town are actively trying to ruin his life, etc and so on. He's still just freakin weird. Case in point:
Suspicion turned to hunger as she came into view.
Long, dark waves spilled down her back, and she was wearing another one of those damned, vintage nightgowns that made the animal hunger that already tore through his balls rise to a howl of pure lust.
Did his testes just turn into werewolves? Oh, and yeah, he's still just watching her through her own window. Dude. For the scant 5% out there that think maybe that's not too bad:
He'd deliberately left the lights out, so she would believe that he was gone. For the past week, she hadn't danced for him once.
For a page we get her dancing to "fuck me" music while he watches and rageboners. The more insights I get from his pov, the less I like him, especially when he's going on about how she needs a "man's touch." Then his little peep show is interrupted by the arrival of his grandfather, a hateful bastard named Saul. Saul has brought him a puppy!
No, really...he brought him a Chinese Pug puppy. Logan doesn't want it because the last puppy he'd had was poisoned by some asshole and the vet refused to treat it because the barons deemed it so.
1. I find it hard to believe the town has just one vet. I live in the smallest town possible and I can name four vets just in the nearest twenty miles. Especially if it is a farming community. 2. Being as how they are medical, I doubt most vets are going to turn away a dying animal. It would be like a doctor turning away a dying person. Can it happen? Hell yeah. Does it happen often? I like to think not.
Whoever had poisoned the dog tried to kill Logan. Anyway, the old man hates Logan, Logan hates him and they rage talk about how much they hate. Skye shows up because of course, and Saul ditches the runt and flees like a ninja. Logan decides he doesn't want the dog and is kind of a dick to the puppy. Then he tells Skye to fuck off, changes his mind, and then grabs her when she tries to leave.
I'M TRYING TO LIKE YOU, GUY. REALLY.
Chapter Three
His cock tried to push past his jeans, her shorts, and straight into the heart of her feminine core.
Even in context, wow. So of course he's consumed by his "passions" and can't let her go and the kiss is just that good. Here are some highlights:
Surviving meant holding on to her for a little while longer.
-
Sex didn't control him; he controlled it.
-
He'd never felt this with a kiss in his life. He'd never felt his entire body come alive in quite this way. And it was definitely coming alive. Every nerve ending was suddenly tingling with heat.
-
He swore he could feel the heat and dampness of her sweet little pussy through their clothes.
-
He'd never believed pleasure like this could exist with just a kiss. Hell, not for a man. A woman maybe; they were softer, sweeter. They thrived on romance and soft words and gentle touches. A man was just fucking hungry.
Well, I'm so glad you could learn us on what we're supposed to be feeling, Logan. -_o And now Skye's take on the kiss with her sentient vagina.
As she gasped, arching to him, a shudder raced through her body and seemed to explode in hunger. Her senses were flooded with a need that didn't make sense, as her sex grew impossibly wetter, preparing, begging for possession.
Unfortunately, Logan likes to talk dirty and is terrible at it.
"I've been dying to taste those hard little nipples."
"You taste like candy, Skye. I have a helluva sweet tooth."
-
"I'm going to end up taking you against this tree if we don't stop this." His voice was ragged, a gravely sound of hunger that clenched her womb and amped the power of each sensation charging through her.
Her womb does a lot of that. But Logan puts a stop to their play date and tells her that he only spends one night with a lover and then cuts ties. And he only sleeps with women a hundred miles from his town. Which..wait, what? How does that work? Does he get prostitutes? Does he got through a dating site? You know what would be more useful? To leave the fucking town and never come back.
Skye storms off after vowing to jolly his roger and Logan remembers the puppy. His logic thus follows: The puppy is too frail and weak to take care of itself -> if he cares for it, someone will try to harm it -> he'll leave it outside to fend for itself -> then try to find a home for it later with some neighbor.
*slow clap* More incoming later. I can't wait.