i keep runnin' runnin' runnin' for horrours
Title: i keep runnin' runnin' runnin'
For: horrours
Pairing: Lu Han/Xiumin
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~8,600 words
Summary, potential warnings: Going to boarding school in America, Lu Han just wants to forget he's the (adopted!) son of a duke and focus on two things: soccer, and Minseok. That doesn't really work out.
Lu Han's mother does this thing that, when she is thinking of him and decides that her affection needs to be expressed, she'll send him flowers rather than use her words.
It's gotten to the point that, with the almost eight months he's spent in the States already, that Minseok hardly bats an eye when he sees a new basket of flowers sitting primly on the sill of Lu Han's window. He never asks, and Lu Han is grateful, because that means he won't have to get into the whole explanation about how flowers are what works with Lu Han's two sisters and how his mother is technically a duchess and this is how poofy English royals communicate best. There really isn't much decor in Lu Han's dorm room, unlike the pictures and posters Minseok has taped up on the walls adjacent to his dresser, but it's the sense of presence that makes Minseok's room the more lived in of the two. It's what makes Lu Han insist they hang out in Minseok's room whenever they have down time between classes.
"Minseok," Lu Han complains, rolling onto his side and resting his feet on Minseok's pillow because he knows the sight of his navy blue socks on the white pillowcase will bother him, "I don't want to study anymore, let's go play football."
"Soccer," Minseok corrects him absently without looking up from his history homework. He's on the bed, too, but sitting upright with his back against the headboard. "And you haven't picked up your pencil for the past twenty minutes."
Lu Han heaves a sigh and does so, rolling the thin pencil between his fingers as he focuses again on his statistics homework. The numbers are easy enough, but they've been in classes since the morning and Lu Han is restless now that the sun has finally come out; Minseok has put up with plenty of his bemoaning of the rainy weather in the past week. After penning in one more answer, he rolls back onto his stomach and nudges Minseok's thigh with his toes. "I promise I'll do the rest after dinner," he says earnestly.
"You said that last time, and then you texted me at two in the morning to ask what our homework assignment for literature was," Minseok says.
"That was the exception, not the rule," Lu Han points out and nudges Minseok again. "I'm a good student, Minseok, come on. I got an A on that assignment! Please?"
Minseok ignores him. Grumbling, Lu Han turns back to statistics mournfully and does another two problems before Minseok straightens up and closes his history textbook with a loud clap. Lu Han bounces upright immediately and nearly tumbles off the bed, to Minseok's amusement, but quickly regains his balance so he can fix Minseok with hopeful eyes. "Yes, yes," Minseok says, starting to get off the bed. "Let's go play some soccer."
Lu Han crows in excitement and runs down the hall to his own room. He has the room all to himself--perks of being who he is, he supposes--but he can hardly tell sometimes, given all the time he spends in Minseok's room. He changes out of his uniform and into a loose shirt and shorts, tugging on proper socks but having to sit down to tie the laces of his trainers--or rather, sneakers. The moment he's ready, he's sprinting back down the hall, grabbing Minseok by the hand as he runs by. They almost run into the Latin professor on the way outside, pausing to apologize to the old man, and then the fields stretch out before them like a perfect promise.
As Minseok jogs over to the sports shed to retrieve one of the balls, Lu Han sprawls in the middle of one of the soccer fields, happy to see the white lines have been redrawn since the rains, probably by a couple of the freshmen on the team. They're a bit wobbly, and Lu Han can see where they cheated a little on one of the corners, but the lines are bright and it cheers him up to see them restored to their standard whiteness.
Lying on the cool grass like this, it's easy to remember when he began to spend time here, all those months ago. When he first arrived in America, taking in the sights and pressing up so hard against the airplane window that Kris had pulled him back by the collar of his shirt, he had been reminded to "lay low and stay out of major activities."
"Adopted or not, you are the son of a duke," Kris said admonishingly as they waited off to the side for their luggage at the baggage claim. "I doubt His Grace the duke would approve if you spent all your time playing instead of focusing on your studies."
Lu Han had rolled his eyes at him and resisted the urge to stick his tongue out for added emphasis; he's never wanted company on his flight to America, anyways. But one of the terms on allowing him to enroll in a boarding school in the States - even with his flock of tutors at home, because being tutored individually was slowly driving him insane - was to allow the son of the family's butler to come along, as Kris was Lu Han's age and could keep an eye on him. Kris had silently obeyed the order and uprooted his life to come to a boarding school in Pennsylvania as well, and if he resented Lu Han for it, he never showed it. They weren't in all the same classes, at least, and Lu Han ignored him determinedly in the ones they did share, waving away questions from countless girls who wanted to know about Lu Han's tall and handsome friend from Canada. Kris had his hands full enough with an equally tall boy with a bright, toothy smile who had introduced himself as Chanyeol; Chanyeol has dedicated himself to getting Kris to join the basketball team, and he never seems to be discouraged by Kris's continuous refusals.
Laying low or not, when soccer tryouts were opened, Lu Han had promptly signed up and ignored Kris's indignant, pointed disapproval. He joined the freshmen on the field, a junior but by no means broader and stronger, but he was tall and quick and had been playing the sport he was in love with ever since he was little. When he had passed with flying colors, it was Minseok who had grasped his hand and said, "Hey, good job, welcome to the team."
Since then, Lu Han has finally found his place in the school, fitting comfortably beside Minseok on offense, on the field, and relaxing in his room when off of it. With all the goals he scores per game, some of them so impossible that the entire crowd howls with excitement and lights his adrenaline-filled veins, he's garnered himself a bit of a reputation beyond "that transfer student from England." It drives Kris crazy and must do so for everyone back home as well, but his parents are too busy being English royalty to do anything about it and Lu Han's grades aren't a chip in his armor for them to pick at - they never will be, if he can help it. For all of Minseok's long-suffering nagging, Lu Han really is a good student.
But he can't deny that this, this, is his favorite thing to do, stretching out his muscles and playing soccer with Minseok whenever they have free time, the feeling of exertion from the exercise and losing himself in simpler things - things like the grass under his feet and the ball Minseok is dribbling and where Minseok is aiming so that Lu Han can best intercept him. He shuffles everything else to the back of his mind: what's happening in England, Kris hovering over him, the kick of his heart whenever he sees Minseok laugh victoriously at slipping past Lu Han's guard to score a goal. Something about the way he feels when Minseok's hand grasps his own briefly when either of them score, whether it's during their one-on-one matches or in the big tournaments with the rest of the team at their flanks, makes Lu Han wish he listened a little more to Kris after all. He hates conceding that Kris is right, but after months of being Minseok's best friend and his partner for playing offense on the field, Lu Han couldn't help himself, not when he sees how Minseok carries himself or how Minseok rolls his eyes good-naturedly when Lu Han steals all of the fries off of Minseok's plate. Lu Han is strong and tall and independent, too, but not in an effortless way like Minseok is. But Lu Han knows his place and doesn't say a word, because he's good at keeping things under wraps, too.
They play until dinner time, making it to the cafeteria in time to quickly grab something to eat, and Lu Han concedes that he can't keep Minseok all to himself when they go to sit down with some guys on the team. "Hey," one of the sophomores, Kai, says when he looks up from his fried chicken and sees the two of them sitting at the table. "Did you guys go out and play again?"
"Of course," Lu Han answers, and Kai laughs. He's a good kid, even if he has no taste whatsoever and cheers for Chelsea F.C. instead of Lu Han's beloved Man U when they watch soccer games in the common rooms, back in the dorms. Lu Han loves that, too, the soccer players from their floor piled on the couches and the ground as they watch Premier League matches whenever they don't have class. On those nights, when Lu Han isn't bickering - because, honestly, Man U is the best team there is - he sits next to Minseok and Minseok lets him curl up with Lu Han's head on Minseok's shoulder and Lu Han thinks about how he'll never tell Minseok how he feels about him.
Dinner is brief, Lu Han excusing himself instead of staying to talk at Minseok's insistence, and he finishes statistics homework at Minseok's desk. A little before midnight, Minseok's roommate, one of the drama kids named Byun Baekhyun, comes back from rehearsal for the spring musical, for which he is the male lead, and Lu Han obediently puts away his things and takes them down the hall to his own room. When he finishes all of his homework, he texts Minseok victoriously but doesn't get a reply, so Minseok must be asleep already.
Having a room all to himself wasn't his decision. Lu Han gets ready for bed in silence and gets into bed, blinking up at the same patch of ceiling, and feels lost, empty, without his anchors to hold him down.
⊗
They have soccer practice after classes end in the afternoon, and Lu Han sheds the stress of upcoming final projects and exams in something simpler. He's on top of his game today, darting past one of the seniors on defense and scoring a goal that skims the tips of the goalie's gloves but ultimately makes it in. One of the co-captains, a tall boy named Minho, praises him at the end of the practice with a quick grin and a hand to mess up Lu Han's hair.
Their other co-captain, Leo, collects the team at the halfway line and gives them a moment to catch their breaths; Lu Han accepts the water bottle Minseok offers him and takes a gulp, handing it back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when Leo calls for their attention. His voice isn't the loudest, not the way Minho's is, but his broad frame and serious eyes have naturally commanded the attention of his entire team. He's been a good leader. "It's the end of the year," Leo says frankly, arms crossed across his chest. "We did well in the championships this year. Second place is something to be proud of."
The boys shift a little among themselves, evidently still displeased and sore over losing to a team from New York, but Lu Han cups his hands around his mouth and lets out a whoop that brings a faint smile to Leo's face and the rest of them relaxing and joining in. "We'll get first place next year," Lu Han promises, and the words taste sweet in his mouth, sweeter at Leo's look of approval.
"Before we give up our team jerseys for this year, though," Leo continues once everyone settles down, "we still have another matter of business to attend to for next year." Everyone knows what he's going to say, but they still hold their breaths as Leo glances at Minho, who steps forward.
"Leo and I will graduate this year, and we'll need new co-captains to fill our places," Minho says. "Sign ups go up tonight in the window of Coach's office, and try-outs are three weeks from now, before finals."
Lu Han groans at the idea of cramming in hours of study alongside practicing for try-outs, but he's lying to himself if he pretends he's not excited. All of the juniors are, as well as the crowd of underclassmen buzzing around Hoya, who's definitely a favorite for the position. Hoya looks serious, too, shoulders set with determination. Dongjun, one of the best sophomore players, is apparently going to try out for the position as well, even though it's always been seen as a strictly senior position; he's laughing loudly now, one of his friends slapping him on the back and talking excitedly. Ignoring the chatter around them, Lu Han turns and nudges Minseok with his shoulder until Minseok looks at him.
"What do you say?" Lu Han asks, grinning eagerly. "You and me?"
Minseok raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you serious about this?"
"Of course," Lu Han says. He wants this. He does, and he wants it with Minseok at his side - not Hoya, not Dongjun, but the two of them, leading the team to first place next year. He's never wanted anything more, but he doesn't know how to express his feelings in words, gripping Minseok's wrist with a beseeching gaze. He doesn't want Minseok to think he's just fooling around about this.
They're silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other, as the rest of their teammates talk animatedly about who they think are the best to get the position and Leo and Minho confer quietly for a moment. "Please," Lu Han says at last, nothing else to offer that Minseok doesn't already know from the months they've known each other this year, on and off the field. Minseok knows how Lu Han loves this sport, how much he loves this team, how badly he wants to take that gleaming trophy home.
"Yeah," Minseok answers at last, and Lu Han releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"Yeah?" he says hopefully.
This time, it's Minseok's turn to nudge him with his shoulder. "Yeah, Lu Han," Minseok says. "I'll do this with you. I want us to win, too."
They are dismissed after a few more announcements, the freshmen on clean up duty groaning in protest as the rest of the team goes back to the locker rooms in one boisterous, sweaty crowd. Lu Han showers quickly before pulling on his uniform again, calling, "Stake out tonight!" when he sees Minseok emerge from the showers with one towel around his hips and the other over his shoulder; it's been a while since he blushed at the sight, but something about Minseok's shoulders and the taper of his waist still makes his chest ache with longing, just a little. He ignores it easily enough, though, and the two of them camp out in front of their coach's office for an hour or so. They aren't the only ones waiting, the electric atmosphere of anticipation for the competition now muted, and Lu Han pretends to read his assignment for English. He's too distracted to really pay any attention, and so he's the first one to jump to his feet when Leo opens the door to tape the sign-up sheet onto the window. Dragging Minseok along, Lu Han is the first one in line, accepting the pen that Leo holds out without a word.
They write their names on the paper - Han Lu, Minseok Kim - before stepping away to let the next person, Hoya, sign. Lu Han's eyes meet Hoya's for a second, and neither of them look away until Lu Han has walked past. Towards the end of the line is Dongjun, chest puffed out and talking rapidly to one of his friends, who had probably come along to witness the sign up rather than for moral support. It's not the biggest group, given the demand of time and energy the captaincy means, but Lu Han is sure of his decision. Everyone here has to be.
Walking back to the dorms, Lu Han is quiet with thought, and he can feel Minseok giving him a questioning look. "It's nothing," he says, rousing himself and pulling open the heavy door of their dorm building; it's a big, old-fashioned building, painted a creamy yellow and outfitted with countless tall windows with intricate, coiling decorations of iron. Their rooms are on the third floor but the elevator is slow, so they take the stairs.
They still have some time before dinner. Lu Han walks into Minseok's room like he owns it, as always, and today Baekhyun is lying on his bed with some sheet music in his hands. He peers up when they walk in, saying, "Hey, Minseok, Lu Han. How was practice?"
"Fine," Minseok says, dropping his backpack on his desk chair and digging around for his books. Lu Han follows in suit, taking his reading back out and sprawling across Minseok's bed with a highlighter between his teeth. He grumbles when Minseok's knee pushes at his hip and obligingly scoots over to they both fit on the twin-sized bed. Baekhyun used to look at them curiously for it but now he's used to seeing them like this, Lu Han's deliberate disregard for personal space and Minseok's putting up with it.
"No rehearsal tonight, Baek?" Lu Han asks, glancing up from highlighting something in the passage.
"It's after dinner," Baekhyun says with a yawn, covering his mouth with long, thin fingers. He's such an artist, Lu Han thinks to himself, not for the first time. He only goes to the soccer games because he's roommates with Minseok.
Baekhyun is happy to ramble a bit about how the musical is going; it's difficult but rewarding to be the lead, and the show is slowly but steadily coming together under the careful eye of the director, a senior named Suho. He also hints a little at how another male singer named Chen seems very intent on getting into said director's pants, which literally everyone except Suho has noticed. Baekhyun always loves a little of gossip and drama.
At a text, Baekhyun grabs his tie and waves on the way out, obviously on the way to dinner. Lu Han and Minseok work for a little longer, Lu Han drowsing a bit over his history notes until Minseok's getting up wakes him. "Dinner?" he asks, head jerking up, and Minseok nods. Lu Han leaves his schoolwork on Minseok's bed and they walk to the dining hall together, discussing when to start adding hours of practice before tryouts.
Their lives at school have settled into a comfortable cycle, one that Lu Han enjoys much more than the private tutors and etiquette lessons at home. Even though his older brother, Aiden, bears the brunt of the training to take their father's position, Lu Han has had more than enough of his fair share of lecturing on everything from peace treaties to grain counts, whether the subjects are outdated or not. Things are simpler in America, where Lu Han goes through his day without thinking about being the son of a royal duke because he's too busy thinking about homework and soccer and Minseok. Enrolling as a junior has put him hopelessly behind in the school's history classes, since he hasn't really covered American history before, and he always gets a kick out of how Americans describe England. He has his science lab class with Kris and furiously ignores him except to laugh when Chanyeol teases Kris, and he sits behind Minseok in English and across the room from him in Statistics. And because everyone told him it would be an easy A - and so it has been - Lu Han puts an hour of his time in the school's art studio for 3-D Art, because you have to actually memorize facts about artists in Art 1. Then he does homework and play soccer, both with Minseok, so it's easy enough for him to shift his schedule around to make more time for practice and a little less time for eating meals or hanging out or sleeping. Soccer is like hanging out anyways, except for the days they do conditioning and Lu Han is sorely tempted to abandon an assignment or two in exchange for more sleep.
"Two more laps," Minseok says, a bit breathlessly, during their practice a week before tryouts. They've started a new workout routine since the tryouts were announced, one full of agility and endurance drills, and it's caused Lu Han to fall asleep multiple times on his homework before he even leaves Minseok's room to go back to bed. Each time, Minseok wakes him up with a sleepy smile himself, his eyes asking Is this worth it? and Lu Han nodding yes yes yes.
"Last two?" Lu Han huffs out, and Minseok passes him the water bottle. He says a quick thank you and finishes it, tossing the plastic bottle next to their bags.
"And then some practice kicks and we're done," Minseok says. They've done this routine so many times that Lu Han thinks he might sleepwalk and do laps in his sleep, too, but he always seems to lose count along the way.
Lu Han makes it through the running and the kicks, and then flops on the grass, pushing his sweaty bangs out of his face. "Damn," he says, staring at the sky; it's starting to get dark, even with the long hours of sun from a summer day. Dinner feels so long ago.
Minseok sits in the cool grass beside him, and Lu Han can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He gives himself a moment, closing his eyes and just letting himself want. Soccer - football, whatever, Minseok rubs off on him - has been something he delighted in since he was a child but now he can't think about it without thinking about Minseok, his two anchors melding into one. When Lu Han was young and his father - his birth father, not the duke - stopped coming home, his mother was never there to stop him, so Lu Han would fetch his soccer ball from the garden shed and kick it around with some other boys who lived in his neighborhood until late, stars winking over his head. The yellow streetlights had been bright enough, then, and he had the game all to himself when all of his friends' mothers called them home to go to bed. He moved a couple of years later for his mother's job, and made his first friend with a kid living across the street because the boy had spotted the soccer ball in his hands and asked, "Do you play?" After being adopted, he kept to himself, playing with someone else for the first time at tryouts for the team in September and looking up into Minseok's welcoming eyes. A childhood of security, Lu Han thinks, and now he's here, heart set on co-captains with his best friend. The possibility of Hoya, or even Dongjun, getting the position instead of one of them feels frighteningly real.
Lu Han flinches at a touch to the inside of his right forearm and opens his eyes to see Minseok, bending over him with a little bit of concern. "You okay?"
"Yes," Lu Han responds, sitting up and trying not to flush at the intimacy of Minseok's hand lingering at his wrist. Lu Han is used to having Minseok close and he's used to touching Minseok, whether it's a hand around Minseok's shoulders or on the small of his back, but not quite as much the other way around. Lu Han's never really been the best with receiving physical contact, anyways, and he has never complained that Minseok doesn't constantly reciprocate.
Minseok smells like grass and sweat, but comfortingly so. He's closer than Lu Han expects he would be, and Lu Han shivers a little, overaware of everything. Exercising so much has always made everything feel more alive than usual, Lu Han thinks, and exhales a soft plume of mist into the night sky. "We still have homework," he says, the words out of place in the air around them.
"We don't have any classes tomorrow," Minseok says. "It's Saturday. All we have is practice and more practice."
"Sounds about right," Lu Han says, and closes his eyes again. He could fall asleep like this, he decides. Except he would probably get sick and that's the last thing he can afford now, to lose the last week of practice.
Minseok is quiet, content to wait Lu Han out so they can go back together; he has pulled his hand away by now, but his shoulder is warm against Lu Han's. Lu Han considers the stack of homework assignments waiting for him, even thicker now that finals are so quickly approaching, and the morning run he and Minseok have planned, and decides he deserves a couple more minutes before they go inside. Just a little longer. The moment is so terribly peaceful, the world holding its breath around them, and Lu Han doesn't want to let it go just yet.
For a second, Lu Han considers telling Minseok how he feels about him.
No, I can't, he thinks, and the moment is over and Lu Han sits up, brushing at his back half-heartedly because there must be grass stains there now. Still lying down, Minseok cracks an eye open at him, looking rumpled and tired, but there's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix.
"Let's go back," Lu Han says to him, finding it just as easy as ever to paste on a smile. It's not a skill you forget easily.
Minseok nods and sits up, too, watching Lu Han a little more carefully than usual. He relaxes once they start heading back towards the dorms, though; the locker rooms close too early for them to use them every time they workout, so they just try to keep an eye on their things while running or practicing. As always, Lu Han forgets they still have several flights of stairs to go, and complains about his sore arms and legs the whole way up. Minseok reaches their floor first and laughs as quietly as possible when Lu Han makes ugly faces at him with each step.
"Good night," Minseok says as he unlocks his door. It's dark inside his room, so Baekhyun must be fast asleep already or sleeping over at a friend's house. His musical was performed live the week before and turned out to be a resounding success, the audience reduced to tears by the stellar singing and acting. Suho walks around campus as if his world has eased up the weight on his shoulders a bit.
Lu Han hesitates and replies, "Good night" as well. He curls his hands into fists for a brief moment before waving and heading down the hall for his own shower and bed. The room itself is as cold and gloomy as ever, housekeeping leaving the air conditioner on when he's out, and Lu Han turns it off and wishes again that he had a roommate. Possibly a roommate that was Minseok. Maybe he can pull some strings to make that happen, next year.
⊗
They go on their morning run, attend classes, cram in homework, and go through their workout routine. This time, Lu Han is careful not to waste time lying in the grass, instead putting in half an hour extra of kicking in goal after goal. "Want to switch?" Minseok calls when he sees Lu Han is tiring.
"Sure," Lu Han says, pushing his bangs out of his face. He troops from the half line to the goal net, leaning against one of the posts as Minseok dribbles the ball to where Lu Han started.
Minseok scores several goals and Lu Han concedes to himself that goalkeeping is not his calling and is best left to the actual goalies of the team. It cheers him up to see Minseok play though; they rarely have time to watch each other when they're on the field for tournament games, so focused on scoring and passing. Minseok's a good player, Lu Han thinks to himself, and the underclassmen all like and respect him.
After Lu Han is tired enough to let in three goals in a row, they call it a day and grab their backpacks from the bleachers, drink some water. "Let's head back," he says. His muscles are sore, even the ones in places Lu Han never thought could be sore, but in an almost satisfying way. Every hour he puts in now will pay off if he gets captaincy - every hour they put in together, and only if both of them get the title. They only have six days left until tryouts begin, and they all have to count. Lu Han knows he should probably take a break, if only to study for his Statistics final, but he can't stop listening to the little voice in the back of his head telling him that the sun is still high enough for another hour of practice.
Campus is quiet at this hour on during the school week, especially with finals looming overhead. Lu Han knows the path from the soccer fields to their dorm building like the back of his hand, the way the sunlight bleeds away from the sky and Minseok's footsteps with his own.
His cell phone rings. It takes Lu Han a minute before he realizes that's his own ringtone that's disturbing the night silence and he scrambles to find it at the bottom of his sports duffle. Minseok waits for him patiently, until Lu Han catches sight of the caller ID - it's a British phone number. "Oh," Lu Han says, something taking hold of his chest from the inside and squeezing, hard. It feels like dread. "Minseok - you go on ahead. Please?"
Minseok stares at him, immediately picking up on the off-kilter tone of Lu Han's voice, but Lu Han can't deal with that right now. He has to answer this phone call. Before Lu Han can gesture at him to go again, Minseok nods and keeps walking towards the dorms, leaving Lu Han alone in the cool night.
"Hello?"
"Lu Han, you need to come home," a voice says, and Lu Han squeezes his eyes closed as he recognizes the voice of his father's secretary. Clearly, the duke himself was too busy to call his own son to deliver bad news? "Pack your bags, you have a flight booked to leave in three hours. The school will be called and alerted in the morning, so that's not your business to worry about."
"No," Lu Han says immediately, choking on the words. Everything feels so abrupt, no how are yous or how's America treating yous. "I'm not leaving."
"You must. Aiden has gone missing and we can no longer search for him, so you need to come back to fill his place."
"What do you mean Aiden's missing?" Lu Han demands, but he gets no answers except for instructions on where to pick up his airplane tickets at the airport. When the duke's son is told that he needs to be at the airport to fly back to England, even on last minute notice, he has to obey - no matter what he has to leave behind, no matter how worried he is because he was just told that his older brother disappeared off the planet and he is needed to fill his place. It doesn't matter that Lu Han has captain tryouts and finals in less than a week, because ultimately, he's not only a student here in a private boarding school on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Ultimately, he's the son of royalty in a country across the Atlantic Ocean.
There's no time for explanations for Minseok, he knows that, but he starts running anyways so he can get back to the dorms and throw together some clothes and some textbooks into a bag and hail a taxi to the airport. He's running up the stairs as quickly as he can, his body protesting with each burning step, and rounds the corner of the stairwell on the third floor to he can continue on to the fourth.
In the corner, he sees two dark figures pressed tightly together. Some couple hooking up, Lu Han thinks distractedly, and moves forward to pass them when he suddenly notices that he recognizes the back of one of their heads. That he knows those hushed voices, he knows those people making out fiercely in the protective half-shadow of the stairwell turn, and when the one with his back to Lu Han kisses down his partner's neck, Chanyeol leans his head back against the wall and moans out, "Oh, Kris, please."
"What," Lu Han says flatly, breaking the moment.
Kris's head snaps up immediately and he backs away, even though Chanyeol whines and reaches out for him until he, too, opens his eyes and meets Lu Han's gaze. "Shit," Chanyeol says, his lips swollen and red, hickeys scattered across the collarbones exposed by his open dress shirt. His tie is on the floor, and Kris's is undone and hanging around his neck. They're as good as guilty.
"Couldn't even make it to your dorm room?" Lu Han says, an abrupt surge of jealousy making his voice spiteful. He fists his hands and belatedly realizes his soccer shorts don't have pockets for him to put them in. "I don't know, Kris, maybe you should check your phone."
"What are you talking about?" Kris demands. He runs his hands through his disheveled hair, erasing the bold tracks of Chanyeol's fingers, and tries to find his composure as he reaches to take his cell phone out of his back pocket. His eyes widen when he sees the angry texts and countless missed calls Lu Han knows he must have.
"Guess it's not really your problem, anyways," Lu Han says, turning around to continue up the stairs. Kris probably doesn't even have a plane ticket for Lu Han's flight; he's just the son of the butlers that work for the duke. It's just a job, and he's just like anyone else, his world open to new possibilities, new careers.
"Lu Han, what - " Kris calls after him, but Lu Han is already running up the next flight of stairs to get to his room. By the time Lu Han is coming back down, hurrying to meet the taxi he called, both Kris and Chanyeol have vanished, the place where they were so urgently pressed together now cold and empty.
The taxi driver is sullen and unwilling to talk, which suits Lu Han just fine for once. In the murky backseat of the taxi, Lu Han tugs out his phone with trembling fingers, pushes away all thoughts of Kris and Chanyeol, and opens a blank text to Minseok.
im really really sorry, he finally types out, when he's almost at the airport and the clock is ticking for him to get through security and onto his goddamn plane. Each pixelated word feels like a repeat of that one time in November when Lu Han was tackled by an opposing forward on the field and fell back so hard he got a concussion and sat out the rest of the match, only this time there isn't Minseok beside kneeling him, his voice strained with concern. i have to go away. i dont know when i'll be back.
what the fuck do you mean go away?? what about captaincy try outs??? Minseok replies instantly, as if he's been waiting for the past half an hour beside his cell phone for Lu Han to message him.
i cant explain, minseok, im so sorry is all Lu Han can reply - because he's too much of a coward to even answer Minseok's second question - and then he goes to turn his phone off before realizing he can't even do that, because the secretary might call again. Instead, he leans back in his seat and sighs heavily, and realizes the taxi is pulling to a stop at the airport terminal. When his cell phone buzzes again, Lu Han doesn't let himself check his messages.
In less than an hour, Lu Han's sitting in a cramped airport seat, staring outside a window oh so similar to the one he looked out of in anticipation for his new life to start in America. He's in economy, because his parents don't even want to shell out for a seat in first class like he had on the flight to Pennsylvania, but he doesn't mind it too much. He's too busy thinking, wondering where his older brother has vanished off to and hoping that Minseok isn't too angry at him for taking off on him like that. Just one phone call, and everything is changing too fast for Lu Han to stop it. If Aiden is really gone, if Lu Han really has to take his place, there will be no captaincy, no soccer team, no Minseok at his side grinning when they receive the championship trophy.
Lu Han shifts in his seat and glares out of the window again. If he were Kris, he thinks resentfully, he wouldn't have to worry about this. He wouldn't have anything like the fate of an entire dukedom weighing down his shoulders, or a flighty older brother and pretty sisters who were unlucky enough to be born into a traditional family that still believes in arranged marriages. He never asked to be adopted by a duke and a duchess - and it's so ungrateful to think like this, especially when they've given him so much out of their own good will, even if it's partially for the sake of their public images. But Lu Han is bitter at having to leave everything he has slowly begun to call home, with no prospect of returning. If he takes the seat of the duke's heir, he might never get to see Minseok ever again. In the eyes of the royal throne, Minseok is just a middle-class American boy who goes to a vaguely prestigious boarding school in Pennsylvania and has no idea what career path he wants to pursue someday.
In the eyes of Lu Han, Minseok is so much more, and that's what he's leaving behind when the plane takes flight.
⊗
Returning to England is everything that Lu Han doesn't want, he decides as he's shuttled around from government official to rich landowner to valuable stockholder at a dinner party. There hadn't been time for him to get a suit tailored, so the blazer was just clipped in the back and now the clip is digging into Lu Han's spine like the finishing touch to an awful night. Honestly, he thinks it's clear to everyone in the room that he's the less qualified, less prepared, less charismatic younger son, stuttering a bit over his words and bowing his head too much; Aiden has always been better at this, respectful without being deferring and always knowing the perfect thing to say in order to draw a smile out of a sour-looking face. One of Lu Han's favorite things in England is his older brother, and Aiden isn't even here. Aiden's not being here is the reason why Lu Han is back in England in the first place, and he never forgets it.
If he could have his way, Lu Han would be out in the city, checking his and Aiden's old haunts to see whether his brother is there or not. But he's stuck on the mansion grounds, dragging through official parties and drowning in last-minute lessons; to make things worse, a media leak has gotten the news out of Aiden's disappearance and Lu Han's resulting return, sending the people of the dukedom and in turn the rest of England into a frenzy at such scandal. Lu Han doesn't let himself look at the news anymore, because then he'll be faced with comment after comment about how England doesn't want an adopted, Chinese boy to take the duke's throne. It's not like he wants it himself, either.
He sees his mother briefly that night as he's getting ready for bed, and she kisses him on the forehead like he's the scrawny twelve-year-old she took in instead of a seventeen-year-old. "Did you get my flowers?" she asks him.
"Yes, they were lovely," Lu Han says, because that's what Victoria told him to say, the first time. Victoria and Krystal are experts at the sweet, winning smile that their mother loves best.
Pleased, his mother kisses him again and sends him off to bed. It takes extra long to wash his face because her lipstick refuses to leave his skin as easily as sweat and dirt.
He's been in England for three days now. He hardly gets any sleep, not from jet lag but from thinking about everything he has left in America, his grades and his soccer practices; he tries his best not to think about Minseok, and ends up thinking about Minseok the most. It's been a struggle in itself for him to work on schoolwork when he has tutors hunting him down every time he steps out of his chambers, and he's not allowed to slip out and practice soccer as long as he's used to, as he needs. Minseok has stopped sending texts, too, and that's what Lu Han stresses about the most.
When he's asleep at two in the morning and the entire mansion has finally fallen silent, Lu Han can't stay still any longer. Pulling on his sweatshirt with the boarding school symbol on his chest, like the smallest touch of support, Lu Han slips outside and takes a deep breath, alone for the first time since he touched down in England. Suddenly, he knows where Aiden is.
The forest around the mansion is the same as it was when Lu Han grew up among the massive trees and thick undergrowth. It's been a while since he navigated his way there, and the path is a bit overgrown, like Aiden has been unable to come around either. But the clearing is the same as ever, a beautiful, naturally grown ring of trees sheltering a circle-shaped patch of meadow grass, lit by the starlight on forest dew. And there's Aiden, sitting under the lip of the rock cave, staring upwards. When Lu Han steps into view, Aiden jumps to his feet and surprise is written into every line of his handsome face.
"You need to go back" are the first words that tumble out of Lu Han's mouth, and the shock on Aiden's face instantly subsides into regret and hesitation.
"I know, I know," Aiden says, and Lu Han stands just too far for them to hug or touch. "But I've just been thinking lately, maybe I can't do this after all? Maybe I'm not made to run a dukedom."
"Yes, you are," Lu Han insists, because he sure as hell is not. He tells his brother so, making Aiden laugh maybe for the first time in weeks at his angstful worry at meeting all those important people and messing up his first impression, time after time. "You've been trained for this since you were young. Aiden, you were born for this, and you're good at it. What's the problem?"
Aiden suddenly stops talking, looks away to evade Lu Han's eyes, but Lu Han is good at coaxing out words from his brother. "I met my future wife," Aiden mutters at last.
"You don't like her?" Lu Han asks, shivering at the very thought of meeting the girl you are being told to marry and cannot escape. For a moment, he forgives Aiden for backing out, and then he remembers Minseok and he takes back his sympathy.
"No," Aiden says. "I like Jessica just fine. She's very beautiful, and she seems smart. And she's kind of cold, but they said that she's just nervous. It's just kind of overwhelming to know that she's such a big part of my future, and what my future entails, you know?"
"I guess," Lu Han says, and sits down next to Aiden on their favorite boulder and lets his brother talk and talk and talk. For an hour, he forgets America and soccer and Minseok, and just focuses on Aiden's problems and worries; it's therapeutic for them both.
In the end, Lu Han falls asleep with his head on Aiden's shoulder, exhausted from running around and from lack of sleep. When morning breaks, Aiden shakes him away with a set jaw and shoulders straightened, and they walk back to the mansion together and gets scolded by their father, the duke himself, until the man breaks off and wraps his oldest son in his arms in an awkward but sincere hug. Lu Han is startled when he gets one, too. When he pulls away, he says, "You're welcome, Father. Can I please have a flight back to Pennsylvania?"
"Tonight?" the duke asks, astonished.
"Yes," Lu Han says, and he's flying across the Atlantic again before he knows it, thanking the stars again and again for having him be adopted by a duke.
⊗
Lu Han gets back to school the evening before try outs and finds, with relief, that they haven't even cleared his room out yet; all of his possessions are there, untouched, and he finds himself relaxing in the embrace of what he knows as home. Instead of hunting down his professors to find all of the assignments that he missed, or some of his classmates to study for finals that are literally the following week, Lu Han texts Minseok with a simple come outside and starts running for the soccer fields.
Minseok meets him there, his eyes not hostile but blocked off, emotions hidden from him. Lu Han is so grateful to see him that he has to sit down on the grass, his pants getting damp from the sprinkler water, and Minseok joins him after a long moment. "You're back," Minseok says.
"Yes," Lu Han gasps out, trying to catch his breath. "I'm back."
They're silent for a long, long moment as Lu Han finally brings his heart rate to a normal pace and looks Minseok in the eye. Nearly a school year of being best friends hasn't been broken yet, Lu Han hopes, and suddenly, the words are rushing out of his lips. "I'm so sorry," Lu Han says, "I'm so, so sorry, and I never told you this when I should have let you in, and you've given me so much and you've made me really happy, but I never let you into my life - "
And it all comes spilling out, how Lu Han is the son of a duke - "You're royalty?" Minseok asks, the only time he interrupts, and Lu Han waves away the question impatiently - but not because he was born to the bloodline but because he was adopted. Because he had an alcoholic father who drank so much he was fired from every job he could find and one day, when Lu Han was seven, he stopped coming home and Lu Han was left to his workaholic mother, who only cared about her job instead of her only son and talked to him like a co-worker rather than a child, demanding him to write a contract whenever he asked for books or a laptop computer. Because he's had more nannies than fingers and toes because his mother would fire them whenever he called them "Mama" and one day she didn't want him either, so he was left to the orphanage in Beijing and the duke and the duchess had been traveling there on business and took him - whether out of goodwill or out of the insistence of their public relations team, Lu Han has no idea, even today. Because Aiden was the one to step in as his older brother and his role model, Victoria smoothing his hair out of his face in such a maternal way Lu Han cried once when he was ten, and squabbling good-naturedly with Krystal as they all grew up together. How Aiden had taken off for a few days and Lu Han was dragged back to England to fill in his place. How Lu Han had never wanted it, because he wants America and he wants soccer and, god, he wants Minseok.
"Shit, Minseok," Lu Han says, finally, the words hurrying out too fast for him to stop it. "I'm in love with you and if we don't try out for captains tomorrow, I'll never forgive myself, please -"
"God, what the fuck, Lu Han," Minseok says at last, speaking for the first time since he asked the question of whether Lu Han is royalty or not, "how can you just say that, you're so -" and he doesn't even finish his sentence because he's leaning in to kiss Lu Han roughly, insistently, but his hands are gentle on Lu Han's face and Lu Han can't believe his senses.
"Oh," Lu Han says when Minseok pulls back.
"I don't care if you're the son of some duke," Minseok says, then pauses and amends, "well, I do care, but don't you ever do that again. Don't just take off for days without warning. Don't...don't leave me."
"Oh," Lu Han says again, and maybe Minseok isn't the strong, independent, perfect boy that Lu Han built him up to in his desperate longing for someone to rely on when Lu Han has spent so long being strong himself. Maybe Minseok is just human, and Lu Han can live with that.
"Yeah, oh," Minseok says, a smile turning up the corner of his mouth, and Lu Han tugs him close so he can kiss him again and again.
⊗
They win captaincy. No one is too surprised, really, but Dongjun complains about it for a week and Hoya shakes Lu Han's hand afterwards, saying, "You deserve it."
"Thank you," Lu Han says with a smile, and he goes with Minseok to eat dinner - his soccer team table has adopted Chanyeol and Kris into their midst - and Chanyeol is on cloud nine because he has finally persuaded Kris to join the basketball team.
A few months later, Lu Han gets an invitation to Aiden and Jessica's wedding, and, at the words "Bring one guest," decides that maybe he'll take Minseok along with him.
--
A/N: recipient, i hope you liked it!! ;________;
For: horrours
Pairing: Lu Han/Xiumin
Rating: PG-13
Length: ~8,600 words
Summary, potential warnings: Going to boarding school in America, Lu Han just wants to forget he's the (adopted!) son of a duke and focus on two things: soccer, and Minseok. That doesn't really work out.
Lu Han's mother does this thing that, when she is thinking of him and decides that her affection needs to be expressed, she'll send him flowers rather than use her words.
It's gotten to the point that, with the almost eight months he's spent in the States already, that Minseok hardly bats an eye when he sees a new basket of flowers sitting primly on the sill of Lu Han's window. He never asks, and Lu Han is grateful, because that means he won't have to get into the whole explanation about how flowers are what works with Lu Han's two sisters and how his mother is technically a duchess and this is how poofy English royals communicate best. There really isn't much decor in Lu Han's dorm room, unlike the pictures and posters Minseok has taped up on the walls adjacent to his dresser, but it's the sense of presence that makes Minseok's room the more lived in of the two. It's what makes Lu Han insist they hang out in Minseok's room whenever they have down time between classes.
"Minseok," Lu Han complains, rolling onto his side and resting his feet on Minseok's pillow because he knows the sight of his navy blue socks on the white pillowcase will bother him, "I don't want to study anymore, let's go play football."
"Soccer," Minseok corrects him absently without looking up from his history homework. He's on the bed, too, but sitting upright with his back against the headboard. "And you haven't picked up your pencil for the past twenty minutes."
Lu Han heaves a sigh and does so, rolling the thin pencil between his fingers as he focuses again on his statistics homework. The numbers are easy enough, but they've been in classes since the morning and Lu Han is restless now that the sun has finally come out; Minseok has put up with plenty of his bemoaning of the rainy weather in the past week. After penning in one more answer, he rolls back onto his stomach and nudges Minseok's thigh with his toes. "I promise I'll do the rest after dinner," he says earnestly.
"You said that last time, and then you texted me at two in the morning to ask what our homework assignment for literature was," Minseok says.
"That was the exception, not the rule," Lu Han points out and nudges Minseok again. "I'm a good student, Minseok, come on. I got an A on that assignment! Please?"
Minseok ignores him. Grumbling, Lu Han turns back to statistics mournfully and does another two problems before Minseok straightens up and closes his history textbook with a loud clap. Lu Han bounces upright immediately and nearly tumbles off the bed, to Minseok's amusement, but quickly regains his balance so he can fix Minseok with hopeful eyes. "Yes, yes," Minseok says, starting to get off the bed. "Let's go play some soccer."
Lu Han crows in excitement and runs down the hall to his own room. He has the room all to himself--perks of being who he is, he supposes--but he can hardly tell sometimes, given all the time he spends in Minseok's room. He changes out of his uniform and into a loose shirt and shorts, tugging on proper socks but having to sit down to tie the laces of his trainers--or rather, sneakers. The moment he's ready, he's sprinting back down the hall, grabbing Minseok by the hand as he runs by. They almost run into the Latin professor on the way outside, pausing to apologize to the old man, and then the fields stretch out before them like a perfect promise.
As Minseok jogs over to the sports shed to retrieve one of the balls, Lu Han sprawls in the middle of one of the soccer fields, happy to see the white lines have been redrawn since the rains, probably by a couple of the freshmen on the team. They're a bit wobbly, and Lu Han can see where they cheated a little on one of the corners, but the lines are bright and it cheers him up to see them restored to their standard whiteness.
Lying on the cool grass like this, it's easy to remember when he began to spend time here, all those months ago. When he first arrived in America, taking in the sights and pressing up so hard against the airplane window that Kris had pulled him back by the collar of his shirt, he had been reminded to "lay low and stay out of major activities."
"Adopted or not, you are the son of a duke," Kris said admonishingly as they waited off to the side for their luggage at the baggage claim. "I doubt His Grace the duke would approve if you spent all your time playing instead of focusing on your studies."
Lu Han had rolled his eyes at him and resisted the urge to stick his tongue out for added emphasis; he's never wanted company on his flight to America, anyways. But one of the terms on allowing him to enroll in a boarding school in the States - even with his flock of tutors at home, because being tutored individually was slowly driving him insane - was to allow the son of the family's butler to come along, as Kris was Lu Han's age and could keep an eye on him. Kris had silently obeyed the order and uprooted his life to come to a boarding school in Pennsylvania as well, and if he resented Lu Han for it, he never showed it. They weren't in all the same classes, at least, and Lu Han ignored him determinedly in the ones they did share, waving away questions from countless girls who wanted to know about Lu Han's tall and handsome friend from Canada. Kris had his hands full enough with an equally tall boy with a bright, toothy smile who had introduced himself as Chanyeol; Chanyeol has dedicated himself to getting Kris to join the basketball team, and he never seems to be discouraged by Kris's continuous refusals.
Laying low or not, when soccer tryouts were opened, Lu Han had promptly signed up and ignored Kris's indignant, pointed disapproval. He joined the freshmen on the field, a junior but by no means broader and stronger, but he was tall and quick and had been playing the sport he was in love with ever since he was little. When he had passed with flying colors, it was Minseok who had grasped his hand and said, "Hey, good job, welcome to the team."
Since then, Lu Han has finally found his place in the school, fitting comfortably beside Minseok on offense, on the field, and relaxing in his room when off of it. With all the goals he scores per game, some of them so impossible that the entire crowd howls with excitement and lights his adrenaline-filled veins, he's garnered himself a bit of a reputation beyond "that transfer student from England." It drives Kris crazy and must do so for everyone back home as well, but his parents are too busy being English royalty to do anything about it and Lu Han's grades aren't a chip in his armor for them to pick at - they never will be, if he can help it. For all of Minseok's long-suffering nagging, Lu Han really is a good student.
But he can't deny that this, this, is his favorite thing to do, stretching out his muscles and playing soccer with Minseok whenever they have free time, the feeling of exertion from the exercise and losing himself in simpler things - things like the grass under his feet and the ball Minseok is dribbling and where Minseok is aiming so that Lu Han can best intercept him. He shuffles everything else to the back of his mind: what's happening in England, Kris hovering over him, the kick of his heart whenever he sees Minseok laugh victoriously at slipping past Lu Han's guard to score a goal. Something about the way he feels when Minseok's hand grasps his own briefly when either of them score, whether it's during their one-on-one matches or in the big tournaments with the rest of the team at their flanks, makes Lu Han wish he listened a little more to Kris after all. He hates conceding that Kris is right, but after months of being Minseok's best friend and his partner for playing offense on the field, Lu Han couldn't help himself, not when he sees how Minseok carries himself or how Minseok rolls his eyes good-naturedly when Lu Han steals all of the fries off of Minseok's plate. Lu Han is strong and tall and independent, too, but not in an effortless way like Minseok is. But Lu Han knows his place and doesn't say a word, because he's good at keeping things under wraps, too.
They play until dinner time, making it to the cafeteria in time to quickly grab something to eat, and Lu Han concedes that he can't keep Minseok all to himself when they go to sit down with some guys on the team. "Hey," one of the sophomores, Kai, says when he looks up from his fried chicken and sees the two of them sitting at the table. "Did you guys go out and play again?"
"Of course," Lu Han answers, and Kai laughs. He's a good kid, even if he has no taste whatsoever and cheers for Chelsea F.C. instead of Lu Han's beloved Man U when they watch soccer games in the common rooms, back in the dorms. Lu Han loves that, too, the soccer players from their floor piled on the couches and the ground as they watch Premier League matches whenever they don't have class. On those nights, when Lu Han isn't bickering - because, honestly, Man U is the best team there is - he sits next to Minseok and Minseok lets him curl up with Lu Han's head on Minseok's shoulder and Lu Han thinks about how he'll never tell Minseok how he feels about him.
Dinner is brief, Lu Han excusing himself instead of staying to talk at Minseok's insistence, and he finishes statistics homework at Minseok's desk. A little before midnight, Minseok's roommate, one of the drama kids named Byun Baekhyun, comes back from rehearsal for the spring musical, for which he is the male lead, and Lu Han obediently puts away his things and takes them down the hall to his own room. When he finishes all of his homework, he texts Minseok victoriously but doesn't get a reply, so Minseok must be asleep already.
Having a room all to himself wasn't his decision. Lu Han gets ready for bed in silence and gets into bed, blinking up at the same patch of ceiling, and feels lost, empty, without his anchors to hold him down.
⊗
They have soccer practice after classes end in the afternoon, and Lu Han sheds the stress of upcoming final projects and exams in something simpler. He's on top of his game today, darting past one of the seniors on defense and scoring a goal that skims the tips of the goalie's gloves but ultimately makes it in. One of the co-captains, a tall boy named Minho, praises him at the end of the practice with a quick grin and a hand to mess up Lu Han's hair.
Their other co-captain, Leo, collects the team at the halfway line and gives them a moment to catch their breaths; Lu Han accepts the water bottle Minseok offers him and takes a gulp, handing it back and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand when Leo calls for their attention. His voice isn't the loudest, not the way Minho's is, but his broad frame and serious eyes have naturally commanded the attention of his entire team. He's been a good leader. "It's the end of the year," Leo says frankly, arms crossed across his chest. "We did well in the championships this year. Second place is something to be proud of."
The boys shift a little among themselves, evidently still displeased and sore over losing to a team from New York, but Lu Han cups his hands around his mouth and lets out a whoop that brings a faint smile to Leo's face and the rest of them relaxing and joining in. "We'll get first place next year," Lu Han promises, and the words taste sweet in his mouth, sweeter at Leo's look of approval.
"Before we give up our team jerseys for this year, though," Leo continues once everyone settles down, "we still have another matter of business to attend to for next year." Everyone knows what he's going to say, but they still hold their breaths as Leo glances at Minho, who steps forward.
"Leo and I will graduate this year, and we'll need new co-captains to fill our places," Minho says. "Sign ups go up tonight in the window of Coach's office, and try-outs are three weeks from now, before finals."
Lu Han groans at the idea of cramming in hours of study alongside practicing for try-outs, but he's lying to himself if he pretends he's not excited. All of the juniors are, as well as the crowd of underclassmen buzzing around Hoya, who's definitely a favorite for the position. Hoya looks serious, too, shoulders set with determination. Dongjun, one of the best sophomore players, is apparently going to try out for the position as well, even though it's always been seen as a strictly senior position; he's laughing loudly now, one of his friends slapping him on the back and talking excitedly. Ignoring the chatter around them, Lu Han turns and nudges Minseok with his shoulder until Minseok looks at him.
"What do you say?" Lu Han asks, grinning eagerly. "You and me?"
Minseok raises his eyebrows in surprise. "Are you serious about this?"
"Of course," Lu Han says. He wants this. He does, and he wants it with Minseok at his side - not Hoya, not Dongjun, but the two of them, leading the team to first place next year. He's never wanted anything more, but he doesn't know how to express his feelings in words, gripping Minseok's wrist with a beseeching gaze. He doesn't want Minseok to think he's just fooling around about this.
They're silent for a few minutes, just looking at each other, as the rest of their teammates talk animatedly about who they think are the best to get the position and Leo and Minho confer quietly for a moment. "Please," Lu Han says at last, nothing else to offer that Minseok doesn't already know from the months they've known each other this year, on and off the field. Minseok knows how Lu Han loves this sport, how much he loves this team, how badly he wants to take that gleaming trophy home.
"Yeah," Minseok answers at last, and Lu Han releases a breath he didn't even know he was holding.
"Yeah?" he says hopefully.
This time, it's Minseok's turn to nudge him with his shoulder. "Yeah, Lu Han," Minseok says. "I'll do this with you. I want us to win, too."
They are dismissed after a few more announcements, the freshmen on clean up duty groaning in protest as the rest of the team goes back to the locker rooms in one boisterous, sweaty crowd. Lu Han showers quickly before pulling on his uniform again, calling, "Stake out tonight!" when he sees Minseok emerge from the showers with one towel around his hips and the other over his shoulder; it's been a while since he blushed at the sight, but something about Minseok's shoulders and the taper of his waist still makes his chest ache with longing, just a little. He ignores it easily enough, though, and the two of them camp out in front of their coach's office for an hour or so. They aren't the only ones waiting, the electric atmosphere of anticipation for the competition now muted, and Lu Han pretends to read his assignment for English. He's too distracted to really pay any attention, and so he's the first one to jump to his feet when Leo opens the door to tape the sign-up sheet onto the window. Dragging Minseok along, Lu Han is the first one in line, accepting the pen that Leo holds out without a word.
They write their names on the paper - Han Lu, Minseok Kim - before stepping away to let the next person, Hoya, sign. Lu Han's eyes meet Hoya's for a second, and neither of them look away until Lu Han has walked past. Towards the end of the line is Dongjun, chest puffed out and talking rapidly to one of his friends, who had probably come along to witness the sign up rather than for moral support. It's not the biggest group, given the demand of time and energy the captaincy means, but Lu Han is sure of his decision. Everyone here has to be.
Walking back to the dorms, Lu Han is quiet with thought, and he can feel Minseok giving him a questioning look. "It's nothing," he says, rousing himself and pulling open the heavy door of their dorm building; it's a big, old-fashioned building, painted a creamy yellow and outfitted with countless tall windows with intricate, coiling decorations of iron. Their rooms are on the third floor but the elevator is slow, so they take the stairs.
They still have some time before dinner. Lu Han walks into Minseok's room like he owns it, as always, and today Baekhyun is lying on his bed with some sheet music in his hands. He peers up when they walk in, saying, "Hey, Minseok, Lu Han. How was practice?"
"Fine," Minseok says, dropping his backpack on his desk chair and digging around for his books. Lu Han follows in suit, taking his reading back out and sprawling across Minseok's bed with a highlighter between his teeth. He grumbles when Minseok's knee pushes at his hip and obligingly scoots over to they both fit on the twin-sized bed. Baekhyun used to look at them curiously for it but now he's used to seeing them like this, Lu Han's deliberate disregard for personal space and Minseok's putting up with it.
"No rehearsal tonight, Baek?" Lu Han asks, glancing up from highlighting something in the passage.
"It's after dinner," Baekhyun says with a yawn, covering his mouth with long, thin fingers. He's such an artist, Lu Han thinks to himself, not for the first time. He only goes to the soccer games because he's roommates with Minseok.
Baekhyun is happy to ramble a bit about how the musical is going; it's difficult but rewarding to be the lead, and the show is slowly but steadily coming together under the careful eye of the director, a senior named Suho. He also hints a little at how another male singer named Chen seems very intent on getting into said director's pants, which literally everyone except Suho has noticed. Baekhyun always loves a little of gossip and drama.
At a text, Baekhyun grabs his tie and waves on the way out, obviously on the way to dinner. Lu Han and Minseok work for a little longer, Lu Han drowsing a bit over his history notes until Minseok's getting up wakes him. "Dinner?" he asks, head jerking up, and Minseok nods. Lu Han leaves his schoolwork on Minseok's bed and they walk to the dining hall together, discussing when to start adding hours of practice before tryouts.
Their lives at school have settled into a comfortable cycle, one that Lu Han enjoys much more than the private tutors and etiquette lessons at home. Even though his older brother, Aiden, bears the brunt of the training to take their father's position, Lu Han has had more than enough of his fair share of lecturing on everything from peace treaties to grain counts, whether the subjects are outdated or not. Things are simpler in America, where Lu Han goes through his day without thinking about being the son of a royal duke because he's too busy thinking about homework and soccer and Minseok. Enrolling as a junior has put him hopelessly behind in the school's history classes, since he hasn't really covered American history before, and he always gets a kick out of how Americans describe England. He has his science lab class with Kris and furiously ignores him except to laugh when Chanyeol teases Kris, and he sits behind Minseok in English and across the room from him in Statistics. And because everyone told him it would be an easy A - and so it has been - Lu Han puts an hour of his time in the school's art studio for 3-D Art, because you have to actually memorize facts about artists in Art 1. Then he does homework and play soccer, both with Minseok, so it's easy enough for him to shift his schedule around to make more time for practice and a little less time for eating meals or hanging out or sleeping. Soccer is like hanging out anyways, except for the days they do conditioning and Lu Han is sorely tempted to abandon an assignment or two in exchange for more sleep.
"Two more laps," Minseok says, a bit breathlessly, during their practice a week before tryouts. They've started a new workout routine since the tryouts were announced, one full of agility and endurance drills, and it's caused Lu Han to fall asleep multiple times on his homework before he even leaves Minseok's room to go back to bed. Each time, Minseok wakes him up with a sleepy smile himself, his eyes asking Is this worth it? and Lu Han nodding yes yes yes.
"Last two?" Lu Han huffs out, and Minseok passes him the water bottle. He says a quick thank you and finishes it, tossing the plastic bottle next to their bags.
"And then some practice kicks and we're done," Minseok says. They've done this routine so many times that Lu Han thinks he might sleepwalk and do laps in his sleep, too, but he always seems to lose count along the way.
Lu Han makes it through the running and the kicks, and then flops on the grass, pushing his sweaty bangs out of his face. "Damn," he says, staring at the sky; it's starting to get dark, even with the long hours of sun from a summer day. Dinner feels so long ago.
Minseok sits in the cool grass beside him, and Lu Han can feel the warmth radiating off of him. He gives himself a moment, closing his eyes and just letting himself want. Soccer - football, whatever, Minseok rubs off on him - has been something he delighted in since he was a child but now he can't think about it without thinking about Minseok, his two anchors melding into one. When Lu Han was young and his father - his birth father, not the duke - stopped coming home, his mother was never there to stop him, so Lu Han would fetch his soccer ball from the garden shed and kick it around with some other boys who lived in his neighborhood until late, stars winking over his head. The yellow streetlights had been bright enough, then, and he had the game all to himself when all of his friends' mothers called them home to go to bed. He moved a couple of years later for his mother's job, and made his first friend with a kid living across the street because the boy had spotted the soccer ball in his hands and asked, "Do you play?" After being adopted, he kept to himself, playing with someone else for the first time at tryouts for the team in September and looking up into Minseok's welcoming eyes. A childhood of security, Lu Han thinks, and now he's here, heart set on co-captains with his best friend. The possibility of Hoya, or even Dongjun, getting the position instead of one of them feels frighteningly real.
Lu Han flinches at a touch to the inside of his right forearm and opens his eyes to see Minseok, bending over him with a little bit of concern. "You okay?"
"Yes," Lu Han responds, sitting up and trying not to flush at the intimacy of Minseok's hand lingering at his wrist. Lu Han is used to having Minseok close and he's used to touching Minseok, whether it's a hand around Minseok's shoulders or on the small of his back, but not quite as much the other way around. Lu Han's never really been the best with receiving physical contact, anyways, and he has never complained that Minseok doesn't constantly reciprocate.
Minseok smells like grass and sweat, but comfortingly so. He's closer than Lu Han expects he would be, and Lu Han shivers a little, overaware of everything. Exercising so much has always made everything feel more alive than usual, Lu Han thinks, and exhales a soft plume of mist into the night sky. "We still have homework," he says, the words out of place in the air around them.
"We don't have any classes tomorrow," Minseok says. "It's Saturday. All we have is practice and more practice."
"Sounds about right," Lu Han says, and closes his eyes again. He could fall asleep like this, he decides. Except he would probably get sick and that's the last thing he can afford now, to lose the last week of practice.
Minseok is quiet, content to wait Lu Han out so they can go back together; he has pulled his hand away by now, but his shoulder is warm against Lu Han's. Lu Han considers the stack of homework assignments waiting for him, even thicker now that finals are so quickly approaching, and the morning run he and Minseok have planned, and decides he deserves a couple more minutes before they go inside. Just a little longer. The moment is so terribly peaceful, the world holding its breath around them, and Lu Han doesn't want to let it go just yet.
For a second, Lu Han considers telling Minseok how he feels about him.
No, I can't, he thinks, and the moment is over and Lu Han sits up, brushing at his back half-heartedly because there must be grass stains there now. Still lying down, Minseok cracks an eye open at him, looking rumpled and tired, but there's nothing a good night's sleep won't fix.
"Let's go back," Lu Han says to him, finding it just as easy as ever to paste on a smile. It's not a skill you forget easily.
Minseok nods and sits up, too, watching Lu Han a little more carefully than usual. He relaxes once they start heading back towards the dorms, though; the locker rooms close too early for them to use them every time they workout, so they just try to keep an eye on their things while running or practicing. As always, Lu Han forgets they still have several flights of stairs to go, and complains about his sore arms and legs the whole way up. Minseok reaches their floor first and laughs as quietly as possible when Lu Han makes ugly faces at him with each step.
"Good night," Minseok says as he unlocks his door. It's dark inside his room, so Baekhyun must be fast asleep already or sleeping over at a friend's house. His musical was performed live the week before and turned out to be a resounding success, the audience reduced to tears by the stellar singing and acting. Suho walks around campus as if his world has eased up the weight on his shoulders a bit.
Lu Han hesitates and replies, "Good night" as well. He curls his hands into fists for a brief moment before waving and heading down the hall for his own shower and bed. The room itself is as cold and gloomy as ever, housekeeping leaving the air conditioner on when he's out, and Lu Han turns it off and wishes again that he had a roommate. Possibly a roommate that was Minseok. Maybe he can pull some strings to make that happen, next year.
⊗
They go on their morning run, attend classes, cram in homework, and go through their workout routine. This time, Lu Han is careful not to waste time lying in the grass, instead putting in half an hour extra of kicking in goal after goal. "Want to switch?" Minseok calls when he sees Lu Han is tiring.
"Sure," Lu Han says, pushing his bangs out of his face. He troops from the half line to the goal net, leaning against one of the posts as Minseok dribbles the ball to where Lu Han started.
Minseok scores several goals and Lu Han concedes to himself that goalkeeping is not his calling and is best left to the actual goalies of the team. It cheers him up to see Minseok play though; they rarely have time to watch each other when they're on the field for tournament games, so focused on scoring and passing. Minseok's a good player, Lu Han thinks to himself, and the underclassmen all like and respect him.
After Lu Han is tired enough to let in three goals in a row, they call it a day and grab their backpacks from the bleachers, drink some water. "Let's head back," he says. His muscles are sore, even the ones in places Lu Han never thought could be sore, but in an almost satisfying way. Every hour he puts in now will pay off if he gets captaincy - every hour they put in together, and only if both of them get the title. They only have six days left until tryouts begin, and they all have to count. Lu Han knows he should probably take a break, if only to study for his Statistics final, but he can't stop listening to the little voice in the back of his head telling him that the sun is still high enough for another hour of practice.
Campus is quiet at this hour on during the school week, especially with finals looming overhead. Lu Han knows the path from the soccer fields to their dorm building like the back of his hand, the way the sunlight bleeds away from the sky and Minseok's footsteps with his own.
His cell phone rings. It takes Lu Han a minute before he realizes that's his own ringtone that's disturbing the night silence and he scrambles to find it at the bottom of his sports duffle. Minseok waits for him patiently, until Lu Han catches sight of the caller ID - it's a British phone number. "Oh," Lu Han says, something taking hold of his chest from the inside and squeezing, hard. It feels like dread. "Minseok - you go on ahead. Please?"
Minseok stares at him, immediately picking up on the off-kilter tone of Lu Han's voice, but Lu Han can't deal with that right now. He has to answer this phone call. Before Lu Han can gesture at him to go again, Minseok nods and keeps walking towards the dorms, leaving Lu Han alone in the cool night.
"Hello?"
"Lu Han, you need to come home," a voice says, and Lu Han squeezes his eyes closed as he recognizes the voice of his father's secretary. Clearly, the duke himself was too busy to call his own son to deliver bad news? "Pack your bags, you have a flight booked to leave in three hours. The school will be called and alerted in the morning, so that's not your business to worry about."
"No," Lu Han says immediately, choking on the words. Everything feels so abrupt, no how are yous or how's America treating yous. "I'm not leaving."
"You must. Aiden has gone missing and we can no longer search for him, so you need to come back to fill his place."
"What do you mean Aiden's missing?" Lu Han demands, but he gets no answers except for instructions on where to pick up his airplane tickets at the airport. When the duke's son is told that he needs to be at the airport to fly back to England, even on last minute notice, he has to obey - no matter what he has to leave behind, no matter how worried he is because he was just told that his older brother disappeared off the planet and he is needed to fill his place. It doesn't matter that Lu Han has captain tryouts and finals in less than a week, because ultimately, he's not only a student here in a private boarding school on the outskirts of Philadelphia. Ultimately, he's the son of royalty in a country across the Atlantic Ocean.
There's no time for explanations for Minseok, he knows that, but he starts running anyways so he can get back to the dorms and throw together some clothes and some textbooks into a bag and hail a taxi to the airport. He's running up the stairs as quickly as he can, his body protesting with each burning step, and rounds the corner of the stairwell on the third floor to he can continue on to the fourth.
In the corner, he sees two dark figures pressed tightly together. Some couple hooking up, Lu Han thinks distractedly, and moves forward to pass them when he suddenly notices that he recognizes the back of one of their heads. That he knows those hushed voices, he knows those people making out fiercely in the protective half-shadow of the stairwell turn, and when the one with his back to Lu Han kisses down his partner's neck, Chanyeol leans his head back against the wall and moans out, "Oh, Kris, please."
"What," Lu Han says flatly, breaking the moment.
Kris's head snaps up immediately and he backs away, even though Chanyeol whines and reaches out for him until he, too, opens his eyes and meets Lu Han's gaze. "Shit," Chanyeol says, his lips swollen and red, hickeys scattered across the collarbones exposed by his open dress shirt. His tie is on the floor, and Kris's is undone and hanging around his neck. They're as good as guilty.
"Couldn't even make it to your dorm room?" Lu Han says, an abrupt surge of jealousy making his voice spiteful. He fists his hands and belatedly realizes his soccer shorts don't have pockets for him to put them in. "I don't know, Kris, maybe you should check your phone."
"What are you talking about?" Kris demands. He runs his hands through his disheveled hair, erasing the bold tracks of Chanyeol's fingers, and tries to find his composure as he reaches to take his cell phone out of his back pocket. His eyes widen when he sees the angry texts and countless missed calls Lu Han knows he must have.
"Guess it's not really your problem, anyways," Lu Han says, turning around to continue up the stairs. Kris probably doesn't even have a plane ticket for Lu Han's flight; he's just the son of the butlers that work for the duke. It's just a job, and he's just like anyone else, his world open to new possibilities, new careers.
"Lu Han, what - " Kris calls after him, but Lu Han is already running up the next flight of stairs to get to his room. By the time Lu Han is coming back down, hurrying to meet the taxi he called, both Kris and Chanyeol have vanished, the place where they were so urgently pressed together now cold and empty.
The taxi driver is sullen and unwilling to talk, which suits Lu Han just fine for once. In the murky backseat of the taxi, Lu Han tugs out his phone with trembling fingers, pushes away all thoughts of Kris and Chanyeol, and opens a blank text to Minseok.
im really really sorry, he finally types out, when he's almost at the airport and the clock is ticking for him to get through security and onto his goddamn plane. Each pixelated word feels like a repeat of that one time in November when Lu Han was tackled by an opposing forward on the field and fell back so hard he got a concussion and sat out the rest of the match, only this time there isn't Minseok beside kneeling him, his voice strained with concern. i have to go away. i dont know when i'll be back.
what the fuck do you mean go away?? what about captaincy try outs??? Minseok replies instantly, as if he's been waiting for the past half an hour beside his cell phone for Lu Han to message him.
i cant explain, minseok, im so sorry is all Lu Han can reply - because he's too much of a coward to even answer Minseok's second question - and then he goes to turn his phone off before realizing he can't even do that, because the secretary might call again. Instead, he leans back in his seat and sighs heavily, and realizes the taxi is pulling to a stop at the airport terminal. When his cell phone buzzes again, Lu Han doesn't let himself check his messages.
In less than an hour, Lu Han's sitting in a cramped airport seat, staring outside a window oh so similar to the one he looked out of in anticipation for his new life to start in America. He's in economy, because his parents don't even want to shell out for a seat in first class like he had on the flight to Pennsylvania, but he doesn't mind it too much. He's too busy thinking, wondering where his older brother has vanished off to and hoping that Minseok isn't too angry at him for taking off on him like that. Just one phone call, and everything is changing too fast for Lu Han to stop it. If Aiden is really gone, if Lu Han really has to take his place, there will be no captaincy, no soccer team, no Minseok at his side grinning when they receive the championship trophy.
Lu Han shifts in his seat and glares out of the window again. If he were Kris, he thinks resentfully, he wouldn't have to worry about this. He wouldn't have anything like the fate of an entire dukedom weighing down his shoulders, or a flighty older brother and pretty sisters who were unlucky enough to be born into a traditional family that still believes in arranged marriages. He never asked to be adopted by a duke and a duchess - and it's so ungrateful to think like this, especially when they've given him so much out of their own good will, even if it's partially for the sake of their public images. But Lu Han is bitter at having to leave everything he has slowly begun to call home, with no prospect of returning. If he takes the seat of the duke's heir, he might never get to see Minseok ever again. In the eyes of the royal throne, Minseok is just a middle-class American boy who goes to a vaguely prestigious boarding school in Pennsylvania and has no idea what career path he wants to pursue someday.
In the eyes of Lu Han, Minseok is so much more, and that's what he's leaving behind when the plane takes flight.
⊗
Returning to England is everything that Lu Han doesn't want, he decides as he's shuttled around from government official to rich landowner to valuable stockholder at a dinner party. There hadn't been time for him to get a suit tailored, so the blazer was just clipped in the back and now the clip is digging into Lu Han's spine like the finishing touch to an awful night. Honestly, he thinks it's clear to everyone in the room that he's the less qualified, less prepared, less charismatic younger son, stuttering a bit over his words and bowing his head too much; Aiden has always been better at this, respectful without being deferring and always knowing the perfect thing to say in order to draw a smile out of a sour-looking face. One of Lu Han's favorite things in England is his older brother, and Aiden isn't even here. Aiden's not being here is the reason why Lu Han is back in England in the first place, and he never forgets it.
If he could have his way, Lu Han would be out in the city, checking his and Aiden's old haunts to see whether his brother is there or not. But he's stuck on the mansion grounds, dragging through official parties and drowning in last-minute lessons; to make things worse, a media leak has gotten the news out of Aiden's disappearance and Lu Han's resulting return, sending the people of the dukedom and in turn the rest of England into a frenzy at such scandal. Lu Han doesn't let himself look at the news anymore, because then he'll be faced with comment after comment about how England doesn't want an adopted, Chinese boy to take the duke's throne. It's not like he wants it himself, either.
He sees his mother briefly that night as he's getting ready for bed, and she kisses him on the forehead like he's the scrawny twelve-year-old she took in instead of a seventeen-year-old. "Did you get my flowers?" she asks him.
"Yes, they were lovely," Lu Han says, because that's what Victoria told him to say, the first time. Victoria and Krystal are experts at the sweet, winning smile that their mother loves best.
Pleased, his mother kisses him again and sends him off to bed. It takes extra long to wash his face because her lipstick refuses to leave his skin as easily as sweat and dirt.
He's been in England for three days now. He hardly gets any sleep, not from jet lag but from thinking about everything he has left in America, his grades and his soccer practices; he tries his best not to think about Minseok, and ends up thinking about Minseok the most. It's been a struggle in itself for him to work on schoolwork when he has tutors hunting him down every time he steps out of his chambers, and he's not allowed to slip out and practice soccer as long as he's used to, as he needs. Minseok has stopped sending texts, too, and that's what Lu Han stresses about the most.
When he's asleep at two in the morning and the entire mansion has finally fallen silent, Lu Han can't stay still any longer. Pulling on his sweatshirt with the boarding school symbol on his chest, like the smallest touch of support, Lu Han slips outside and takes a deep breath, alone for the first time since he touched down in England. Suddenly, he knows where Aiden is.
The forest around the mansion is the same as it was when Lu Han grew up among the massive trees and thick undergrowth. It's been a while since he navigated his way there, and the path is a bit overgrown, like Aiden has been unable to come around either. But the clearing is the same as ever, a beautiful, naturally grown ring of trees sheltering a circle-shaped patch of meadow grass, lit by the starlight on forest dew. And there's Aiden, sitting under the lip of the rock cave, staring upwards. When Lu Han steps into view, Aiden jumps to his feet and surprise is written into every line of his handsome face.
"You need to go back" are the first words that tumble out of Lu Han's mouth, and the shock on Aiden's face instantly subsides into regret and hesitation.
"I know, I know," Aiden says, and Lu Han stands just too far for them to hug or touch. "But I've just been thinking lately, maybe I can't do this after all? Maybe I'm not made to run a dukedom."
"Yes, you are," Lu Han insists, because he sure as hell is not. He tells his brother so, making Aiden laugh maybe for the first time in weeks at his angstful worry at meeting all those important people and messing up his first impression, time after time. "You've been trained for this since you were young. Aiden, you were born for this, and you're good at it. What's the problem?"
Aiden suddenly stops talking, looks away to evade Lu Han's eyes, but Lu Han is good at coaxing out words from his brother. "I met my future wife," Aiden mutters at last.
"You don't like her?" Lu Han asks, shivering at the very thought of meeting the girl you are being told to marry and cannot escape. For a moment, he forgives Aiden for backing out, and then he remembers Minseok and he takes back his sympathy.
"No," Aiden says. "I like Jessica just fine. She's very beautiful, and she seems smart. And she's kind of cold, but they said that she's just nervous. It's just kind of overwhelming to know that she's such a big part of my future, and what my future entails, you know?"
"I guess," Lu Han says, and sits down next to Aiden on their favorite boulder and lets his brother talk and talk and talk. For an hour, he forgets America and soccer and Minseok, and just focuses on Aiden's problems and worries; it's therapeutic for them both.
In the end, Lu Han falls asleep with his head on Aiden's shoulder, exhausted from running around and from lack of sleep. When morning breaks, Aiden shakes him away with a set jaw and shoulders straightened, and they walk back to the mansion together and gets scolded by their father, the duke himself, until the man breaks off and wraps his oldest son in his arms in an awkward but sincere hug. Lu Han is startled when he gets one, too. When he pulls away, he says, "You're welcome, Father. Can I please have a flight back to Pennsylvania?"
"Tonight?" the duke asks, astonished.
"Yes," Lu Han says, and he's flying across the Atlantic again before he knows it, thanking the stars again and again for having him be adopted by a duke.
⊗
Lu Han gets back to school the evening before try outs and finds, with relief, that they haven't even cleared his room out yet; all of his possessions are there, untouched, and he finds himself relaxing in the embrace of what he knows as home. Instead of hunting down his professors to find all of the assignments that he missed, or some of his classmates to study for finals that are literally the following week, Lu Han texts Minseok with a simple come outside and starts running for the soccer fields.
Minseok meets him there, his eyes not hostile but blocked off, emotions hidden from him. Lu Han is so grateful to see him that he has to sit down on the grass, his pants getting damp from the sprinkler water, and Minseok joins him after a long moment. "You're back," Minseok says.
"Yes," Lu Han gasps out, trying to catch his breath. "I'm back."
They're silent for a long, long moment as Lu Han finally brings his heart rate to a normal pace and looks Minseok in the eye. Nearly a school year of being best friends hasn't been broken yet, Lu Han hopes, and suddenly, the words are rushing out of his lips. "I'm so sorry," Lu Han says, "I'm so, so sorry, and I never told you this when I should have let you in, and you've given me so much and you've made me really happy, but I never let you into my life - "
And it all comes spilling out, how Lu Han is the son of a duke - "You're royalty?" Minseok asks, the only time he interrupts, and Lu Han waves away the question impatiently - but not because he was born to the bloodline but because he was adopted. Because he had an alcoholic father who drank so much he was fired from every job he could find and one day, when Lu Han was seven, he stopped coming home and Lu Han was left to his workaholic mother, who only cared about her job instead of her only son and talked to him like a co-worker rather than a child, demanding him to write a contract whenever he asked for books or a laptop computer. Because he's had more nannies than fingers and toes because his mother would fire them whenever he called them "Mama" and one day she didn't want him either, so he was left to the orphanage in Beijing and the duke and the duchess had been traveling there on business and took him - whether out of goodwill or out of the insistence of their public relations team, Lu Han has no idea, even today. Because Aiden was the one to step in as his older brother and his role model, Victoria smoothing his hair out of his face in such a maternal way Lu Han cried once when he was ten, and squabbling good-naturedly with Krystal as they all grew up together. How Aiden had taken off for a few days and Lu Han was dragged back to England to fill in his place. How Lu Han had never wanted it, because he wants America and he wants soccer and, god, he wants Minseok.
"Shit, Minseok," Lu Han says, finally, the words hurrying out too fast for him to stop it. "I'm in love with you and if we don't try out for captains tomorrow, I'll never forgive myself, please -"
"God, what the fuck, Lu Han," Minseok says at last, speaking for the first time since he asked the question of whether Lu Han is royalty or not, "how can you just say that, you're so -" and he doesn't even finish his sentence because he's leaning in to kiss Lu Han roughly, insistently, but his hands are gentle on Lu Han's face and Lu Han can't believe his senses.
"Oh," Lu Han says when Minseok pulls back.
"I don't care if you're the son of some duke," Minseok says, then pauses and amends, "well, I do care, but don't you ever do that again. Don't just take off for days without warning. Don't...don't leave me."
"Oh," Lu Han says again, and maybe Minseok isn't the strong, independent, perfect boy that Lu Han built him up to in his desperate longing for someone to rely on when Lu Han has spent so long being strong himself. Maybe Minseok is just human, and Lu Han can live with that.
"Yeah, oh," Minseok says, a smile turning up the corner of his mouth, and Lu Han tugs him close so he can kiss him again and again.
⊗
They win captaincy. No one is too surprised, really, but Dongjun complains about it for a week and Hoya shakes Lu Han's hand afterwards, saying, "You deserve it."
"Thank you," Lu Han says with a smile, and he goes with Minseok to eat dinner - his soccer team table has adopted Chanyeol and Kris into their midst - and Chanyeol is on cloud nine because he has finally persuaded Kris to join the basketball team.
A few months later, Lu Han gets an invitation to Aiden and Jessica's wedding, and, at the words "Bring one guest," decides that maybe he'll take Minseok along with him.
--
A/N: recipient, i hope you liked it!! ;________;