FOTD, Cherry Vanilla 8: Aesop Shuns Zombies
Title: Aesop Shuns Zombies
Main Story: In The Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: FOTD (bacchanalia: a riotous, boisterous, or drunken festivity; a revel.), cherry vanilla 8 (amnesia), My Treat (Thanks to some hard partying, Ivy can't remember all the events of the night before.), malt (Summer challenge 55: "Careful. We don't want to learn from this." - Bill Watterson), fresh pineapple (Phineas and Ferb: Perry the Platypus Theme).
Word Count: 517
Rating: PG-13, mentions lots of drinking.
Summary: Reasonable morals are for silly people, or, how Ivy learned to not get blackout drunk.
Notes: Zombie here refers to the drink rather than the brain-eating undead. I'm sure our greatest fairy-tale moralist would not discriminate against the vast community of undead, Mr. Shoe. And if you get that joke you are my favorite kind of person.
"Well!" Prudence chirped, when Ivy staggered into the common room of their shared apartment. "Somebody had fun last night."
Ivy grumbled under her breath and went straight for the coffee. "If the size of the hangover is any indication," she said, "I had a lot of fun."
Pru blinked, and suddenly looked worryingly thoughtful. "Oh. Um. You don’t remember last night?"
"Not much," Ivy admitted. "I think there was a lot more alcohol in those zombies than I thought."
"Zombies plural?" Pru asked, and whistled. "Jesus. No wonder you can't remember. Shame, though. It was quite a show."
Ivy, midway through her first sip of coffee, spat it back out (thankfully into the cup) and yelped, "What? What did I do?"
"Well." Pru leaned forward, obviously enjoying herself. "You remember Perry the Platypus?"
A quick rummage through her memory came up empty. "No," Ivy said, with rising dread.
"Oh." Pru sat back, looking briefly disappointed. "It's this song from Phineas and Ferb. You know, that show I really like?"
Ivy didn't, but she nodded anyway, to show willing. Pru looked satisfied and said, "Well, you were standing up on the table singing 'Ivy the Platypus' very loudly. It actually scanned pretty well."
"Oh," she said, relieved, and turned back to the coffee. "Is that all?"
"Nope," Pru said, sounding a little gleeful this time. "You also expounded at some length about the benefits of karate dance moves. You were pretty funny about it so we forgave you."
"Also sounds like me," Ivy said, and had another sip. Almost there, almost back to human...
"Then somebody suggested playing strip Boggle," Pru said, obviously enjoying herself. "You were way into that."
Ivy set the coffee cup down with exaggerated care and tried not to express her horror too loudly. "I was not."
Pru opened her eyes very wide. "Oh, but you were!" she exclaimed. "Oh, and then there's the part where you kissed a boy." Ivy's mouth dropped open, and Pru added, happily, "And you liked it."
It dawned on Ivy about then that Prudence might not be the most truthful witness.
"You bitch," she said. "If I had anything soft in reach I'd throw it at you."
Prudence dissolved into giggles. "I had you, though! I so did. What gave me away?"
"The boy-kissing," Ivy said. She picked up her coffee, savored another mouthful, and continued, "More specifically the enjoying it. And the part where you were misquoting Katy Perry."
"Thought it might," Pru said. "You're a little too gay to kiss boys, even falling-down drunk. The rest is all true, though."
Ivy winced. "Even the strip Boggle?"
"Yes," Pru said, and added, somewhat reluctantly, "You won, though. By like, a lot. I think you lost your socks."
"Pff, socks," Ivy said. "Could've been worse. At least I learned a lesson."
"Don't drink zombies?" Pru asked, innocently.
"No," she said, "don't get blackout drunk. Don't drink zombies can be the secondary moral, though."
"If you insist," Pru said. "Strip Boggle really was awesome, though."
"I will take your word for it," Ivy said, and poured herself more coffee.
Main Story: In The Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: FOTD (bacchanalia: a riotous, boisterous, or drunken festivity; a revel.), cherry vanilla 8 (amnesia), My Treat (Thanks to some hard partying, Ivy can't remember all the events of the night before.), malt (Summer challenge 55: "Careful. We don't want to learn from this." - Bill Watterson), fresh pineapple (Phineas and Ferb: Perry the Platypus Theme).
Word Count: 517
Rating: PG-13, mentions lots of drinking.
Summary: Reasonable morals are for silly people, or, how Ivy learned to not get blackout drunk.
Notes: Zombie here refers to the drink rather than the brain-eating undead. I'm sure our greatest fairy-tale moralist would not discriminate against the vast community of undead, Mr. Shoe. And if you get that joke you are my favorite kind of person.
"Well!" Prudence chirped, when Ivy staggered into the common room of their shared apartment. "Somebody had fun last night."
Ivy grumbled under her breath and went straight for the coffee. "If the size of the hangover is any indication," she said, "I had a lot of fun."
Pru blinked, and suddenly looked worryingly thoughtful. "Oh. Um. You don’t remember last night?"
"Not much," Ivy admitted. "I think there was a lot more alcohol in those zombies than I thought."
"Zombies plural?" Pru asked, and whistled. "Jesus. No wonder you can't remember. Shame, though. It was quite a show."
Ivy, midway through her first sip of coffee, spat it back out (thankfully into the cup) and yelped, "What? What did I do?"
"Well." Pru leaned forward, obviously enjoying herself. "You remember Perry the Platypus?"
A quick rummage through her memory came up empty. "No," Ivy said, with rising dread.
"Oh." Pru sat back, looking briefly disappointed. "It's this song from Phineas and Ferb. You know, that show I really like?"
Ivy didn't, but she nodded anyway, to show willing. Pru looked satisfied and said, "Well, you were standing up on the table singing 'Ivy the Platypus' very loudly. It actually scanned pretty well."
"Oh," she said, relieved, and turned back to the coffee. "Is that all?"
"Nope," Pru said, sounding a little gleeful this time. "You also expounded at some length about the benefits of karate dance moves. You were pretty funny about it so we forgave you."
"Also sounds like me," Ivy said, and had another sip. Almost there, almost back to human...
"Then somebody suggested playing strip Boggle," Pru said, obviously enjoying herself. "You were way into that."
Ivy set the coffee cup down with exaggerated care and tried not to express her horror too loudly. "I was not."
Pru opened her eyes very wide. "Oh, but you were!" she exclaimed. "Oh, and then there's the part where you kissed a boy." Ivy's mouth dropped open, and Pru added, happily, "And you liked it."
It dawned on Ivy about then that Prudence might not be the most truthful witness.
"You bitch," she said. "If I had anything soft in reach I'd throw it at you."
Prudence dissolved into giggles. "I had you, though! I so did. What gave me away?"
"The boy-kissing," Ivy said. She picked up her coffee, savored another mouthful, and continued, "More specifically the enjoying it. And the part where you were misquoting Katy Perry."
"Thought it might," Pru said. "You're a little too gay to kiss boys, even falling-down drunk. The rest is all true, though."
Ivy winced. "Even the strip Boggle?"
"Yes," Pru said, and added, somewhat reluctantly, "You won, though. By like, a lot. I think you lost your socks."
"Pff, socks," Ivy said. "Could've been worse. At least I learned a lesson."
"Don't drink zombies?" Pru asked, innocently.
"No," she said, "don't get blackout drunk. Don't drink zombies can be the secondary moral, though."
"If you insist," Pru said. "Strip Boggle really was awesome, though."
"I will take your word for it," Ivy said, and poured herself more coffee.