bare bones
Author: Nathalia
Rating: PG
Challenge:
Candy Bar Crunch #24 - bare bones
Pumpkin Pie #5 - skeleton
Extras / Toppings: caramel, gummy bunnies (500themes: terror in the night), sprinkles
Word Count: 1,128
Story: Misfits
Summary: Rip, Helena and Max go to the graveyard late in the night.
Notes: Rip and Helena totally stole the show in this. Helena is Max’ bossy ex-girlfriend and partner and Ripley sometimes works with them but really has no preferences and a strange lifestyle (because I need someone to do the really dirty work).
The visitors that came by during the day had long gone home and the security detail had fallen asleep in front of his monitors. Not that there were cameras near the site. Ripley had done some recon and found out the best ways in and out of the cemetery over the past three days and by now it was already late so that the teenagers had already long gone home. Helena had been observing them and had given the heads-up over an hour ago.
The graveyard was completely silent on this moonless night when Ripley, Helena, and Max snuck in to do the work they had been planning for a long time now, both Max and Ripley shouldering shovels while Helena led the way with a big flashlight, carrying a jute bag in one hand.
“I still think this is disgusting,” she said, leading the way along the graves until she reached the simple white stone that marked the grave of Joseph Barnes. “Who the fuck hides secret documents in a grave?”
“For a long, long time, experts thought Shakespeare might have hidden scripts in his,” Ripley informed Helena. “Even you should know that he wasn’t all that dumb.”
“Maybe not him but the experts,” Helena insisted. “They probably allowed everyone to make speculation. Including people like you.”
“Are you two gonna argue all night?” Max asked, annoyed. He hadn’t seen Ripley in a while but everyone who had worked with both Ripley and Helena for even a short time knew how that worked. “Cause exhumation is already sick enough without you being exhausting.”
"Did we come here to talk or dig?" Ripley shot back, pushing the butt of the shovel into the ground. "You," he said, waving his hand at Helena, "be useful and hold the flashlight so that I can see where I'm digging?"
Helena silently obliged and shot Max an annoyed look as he joined Ripley.
"remind me why your girlfriend didn't come dig? She wants those documents far more than we do."
"You know why. Don't forget that we all want to end this war," Max sighed. "Besides, she's not my girlfriend."
"Not for lack of trying," Ripley pointed out with a wink as he tossed a shovel full of earth to a mound of dirt behind him where Helena was standing. "And I don't really care for how this war turns out as long as whoever wins pays me."
"You're disgusting. About as disgusting as exhumation,” Helena commented although it didn’t sound like she really cared.
Max and Ripley dug in silence for a while before Max began to catch the other man up on what he, Helena and Kennedy had been up to, how they had come to the grave digging gig in the first place. Helena mostly just glowered at them without saying a word which Max knew was for the best.
Once they hit the first bone and Helena let out a horrified little squeak, Max climbed out of the grave, exhausted and sweating, badly in need of a break, and Helena got in with the bag she had brought. Holding it open as far from her body as possible, she wrinkled her nose at Ripley as he began picking up one bone after the next, throwing it into the bag.
“So, how’s the skank of the week?” She asked conversationally, probably to have something to talk about that wasn’t decayed bones.
“Oh, she’s fine. Pretty skanky this one. Since you showed up and I didn’t have one to parade in front of you, I had to be quick and find one. I know you’d never let me live it down if I wasn’t having sex. She has a water bed though. I really can’t complain”
“Your standards are even lower than I thought they were,” Helena remarked as Ripley threw the skull into the bag. “I didn’t know they could be any lower.”
“Hey, as long as it isn’t serious, there’s no point to having high standards,” Ripley said cheerfully.
She looked him up and down and suddenly looked as if she had a realization. “You know, Yves, sometimes I forget how you walk around and think you can afford to have standards. Sorry about that.”
“What are yours since we’re talking? Men who like to be domineered and treated like lap dogs like good old Max there?”
“Hey!” Max called out only to be shushed by both Ripley and Helena.
“No offense, Max, I see you’re trying to make up for past mistakes,” Ripley said in a good-natured tone, glancing over to Helena who didn’t look happy with the bag that was quickly filling up. “And I admire you for not having let any other poor bastard be trapped in the Black Widow’s web over there.”
Max wanted to ask why they had to take all the bones but he was sure Ripley had more experience at grave digging than either him or Helena and he was more comfortable listening to them dig into each other than participating in a conversation about bones.
“I let all of them get away alive and healthy. Can’t say the same for you.”
“Psychoses do count,” Ripley said casually, then let out a quiet “ahh” and started digging with his bare hands that were only covered by dirty gloves, falling to his knees to work faster.
“What is it?” Max asked, edging closer to the grave to try and see more. Helena approached Ripley, too interested in what was going on to even make a remark at how unhygienic it was to kneel in a grave as Max knew she would have otherwise. Ripley was already sweaty and dirty enough from the work anyway and Max could say the same about himself.
Ripley didn’t answer and she stood at his shoulder, pointing the flashlight and illuminating what looked like a metal case that Ripley finally lifted off the ground. “This is where it’s probably in. the big secrets you’re looking for.”
“Can we go then?”
“We can climb out.” Ripley was in a good mood now and so was Max, the sleepiness having completely subsided to excitement.
He took the metal case when Ripley heaved it out of the grave to then scramble out of it himself. Without having to be asked to -- which meant a lot -- he pulled Helena out, only getting her minimally dirty in the process. She started to pat off the dirt as soon as she was back on the grass.
Max threw the bag of bones over his shoulder and took his shovel, ready to go when Ripley cleared his throat. “You forgot something pretty essential. We have to close this grave back up.”
Max felt his shoulders sag.
Rating: PG
Challenge:
Candy Bar Crunch #24 - bare bones
Pumpkin Pie #5 - skeleton
Extras / Toppings: caramel, gummy bunnies (500themes: terror in the night), sprinkles
Word Count: 1,128
Story: Misfits
Summary: Rip, Helena and Max go to the graveyard late in the night.
Notes: Rip and Helena totally stole the show in this. Helena is Max’ bossy ex-girlfriend and partner and Ripley sometimes works with them but really has no preferences and a strange lifestyle (because I need someone to do the really dirty work).
The visitors that came by during the day had long gone home and the security detail had fallen asleep in front of his monitors. Not that there were cameras near the site. Ripley had done some recon and found out the best ways in and out of the cemetery over the past three days and by now it was already late so that the teenagers had already long gone home. Helena had been observing them and had given the heads-up over an hour ago.
The graveyard was completely silent on this moonless night when Ripley, Helena, and Max snuck in to do the work they had been planning for a long time now, both Max and Ripley shouldering shovels while Helena led the way with a big flashlight, carrying a jute bag in one hand.
“I still think this is disgusting,” she said, leading the way along the graves until she reached the simple white stone that marked the grave of Joseph Barnes. “Who the fuck hides secret documents in a grave?”
“For a long, long time, experts thought Shakespeare might have hidden scripts in his,” Ripley informed Helena. “Even you should know that he wasn’t all that dumb.”
“Maybe not him but the experts,” Helena insisted. “They probably allowed everyone to make speculation. Including people like you.”
“Are you two gonna argue all night?” Max asked, annoyed. He hadn’t seen Ripley in a while but everyone who had worked with both Ripley and Helena for even a short time knew how that worked. “Cause exhumation is already sick enough without you being exhausting.”
"Did we come here to talk or dig?" Ripley shot back, pushing the butt of the shovel into the ground. "You," he said, waving his hand at Helena, "be useful and hold the flashlight so that I can see where I'm digging?"
Helena silently obliged and shot Max an annoyed look as he joined Ripley.
"remind me why your girlfriend didn't come dig? She wants those documents far more than we do."
"You know why. Don't forget that we all want to end this war," Max sighed. "Besides, she's not my girlfriend."
"Not for lack of trying," Ripley pointed out with a wink as he tossed a shovel full of earth to a mound of dirt behind him where Helena was standing. "And I don't really care for how this war turns out as long as whoever wins pays me."
"You're disgusting. About as disgusting as exhumation,” Helena commented although it didn’t sound like she really cared.
Max and Ripley dug in silence for a while before Max began to catch the other man up on what he, Helena and Kennedy had been up to, how they had come to the grave digging gig in the first place. Helena mostly just glowered at them without saying a word which Max knew was for the best.
Once they hit the first bone and Helena let out a horrified little squeak, Max climbed out of the grave, exhausted and sweating, badly in need of a break, and Helena got in with the bag she had brought. Holding it open as far from her body as possible, she wrinkled her nose at Ripley as he began picking up one bone after the next, throwing it into the bag.
“So, how’s the skank of the week?” She asked conversationally, probably to have something to talk about that wasn’t decayed bones.
“Oh, she’s fine. Pretty skanky this one. Since you showed up and I didn’t have one to parade in front of you, I had to be quick and find one. I know you’d never let me live it down if I wasn’t having sex. She has a water bed though. I really can’t complain”
“Your standards are even lower than I thought they were,” Helena remarked as Ripley threw the skull into the bag. “I didn’t know they could be any lower.”
“Hey, as long as it isn’t serious, there’s no point to having high standards,” Ripley said cheerfully.
She looked him up and down and suddenly looked as if she had a realization. “You know, Yves, sometimes I forget how you walk around and think you can afford to have standards. Sorry about that.”
“What are yours since we’re talking? Men who like to be domineered and treated like lap dogs like good old Max there?”
“Hey!” Max called out only to be shushed by both Ripley and Helena.
“No offense, Max, I see you’re trying to make up for past mistakes,” Ripley said in a good-natured tone, glancing over to Helena who didn’t look happy with the bag that was quickly filling up. “And I admire you for not having let any other poor bastard be trapped in the Black Widow’s web over there.”
Max wanted to ask why they had to take all the bones but he was sure Ripley had more experience at grave digging than either him or Helena and he was more comfortable listening to them dig into each other than participating in a conversation about bones.
“I let all of them get away alive and healthy. Can’t say the same for you.”
“Psychoses do count,” Ripley said casually, then let out a quiet “ahh” and started digging with his bare hands that were only covered by dirty gloves, falling to his knees to work faster.
“What is it?” Max asked, edging closer to the grave to try and see more. Helena approached Ripley, too interested in what was going on to even make a remark at how unhygienic it was to kneel in a grave as Max knew she would have otherwise. Ripley was already sweaty and dirty enough from the work anyway and Max could say the same about himself.
Ripley didn’t answer and she stood at his shoulder, pointing the flashlight and illuminating what looked like a metal case that Ripley finally lifted off the ground. “This is where it’s probably in. the big secrets you’re looking for.”
“Can we go then?”
“We can climb out.” Ripley was in a good mood now and so was Max, the sleepiness having completely subsided to excitement.
He took the metal case when Ripley heaved it out of the grave to then scramble out of it himself. Without having to be asked to -- which meant a lot -- he pulled Helena out, only getting her minimally dirty in the process. She started to pat off the dirt as soon as she was back on the grass.
Max threw the bag of bones over his shoulder and took his shovel, ready to go when Ripley cleared his throat. “You forgot something pretty essential. We have to close this grave back up.”
Max felt his shoulders sag.