Blue Raspberry 11, Wildberry 2, Rhubarb 7
Author: Casey
Story: Nothing is Ever Easy universe, Post NIEE
Challenges: Blue Raspberry 11 (spring cleaning), Wildberry 2 (my own worst enemy) & Rhubarb 7 (easier said than done)
Toppings & Extras: None
Word Count: 1,339
Rating: PG
Summary: Morgan’s trying to cope.
Notes:Takes place about a month after Choices, so 3.5 weeks since this. For Part 1 of the 1k Marathon.
Sorin rose as the sun peaked over the far hills and made his way downstairs, only stopping briefly to check that his son was sleeping soundly. His second stop was a peek into Morgan’s room on the first floor, but he paused there, blinking dumbly at the bed. It was empty, which surprised the hell out of him. He’d purposely slipped a couple well-meaning herbs in her tea the night before. She should have been out for hours yet. He was fairly certain she’d drunk it.
He headed into the kitchen where there was still no sign of her, but he got his second surprise of the day. Russ sat at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea with a pensive expression on his face.
“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
“Finished it up yesterday afternoon so decided to come home.
”
“Don’t suppose you’ve seen Morgan?”
“It was a little hard to miss her. She all but ripped my horse from me and told me not to touch anything because I’d make it dirty. I tried to explain the fact it’s a barn that also doubles as a stables, but I don’t think I made much progress. I finally decided I needed some tea before I could try again.”
Sorin sighed. “She’d been good for almost a week…”
“It’s barely been a month, Sorin. Chris gets under your skin more than a month’s worth, especially when you’re still basically a kid.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose but nodded. “I’m used to damaged. I’m not used to manic and damaged,” he admitted. “I’m awake. I’ll go talk to her. You should try and get a few hours sleep or you’ll be off for days.”
“Yes, Mother,” Russ said but obediently scooped up his mug and headed for the stairs.
Sorin watched him go and then headed out to the barn. He could hear Morgan long before he could see her. Taking a deep breath, he poked his head into the barn and then blinked. The place was positively shining and probably smelled better than it had since long before Sorin had moved in. He went to step inside but caught his motion halfway as a voice shot out at him.
“Your boots are dirty!”
Sorin retracted his foot and finally spotted Morgan from where she’d shot out of a stall, apparently having heard the door open. He glanced down at them. “If I take them off, can I come in?”
She shifted without making eye contact. “As long as you don’t make it dirty.”
He slipped his boots off, stacked them neatly just outside the door and then stepped inside. “Morgan.”
“It just needs to be clean,” she said, voice rising a little, an edge of hysteria in it.
“Morgan,” he repeated gently, “it’s a barn that houses horses and all of the stuff we don’t need every day. It’s always going to be a little dirty.”
She shuddered, turning away from him. “It needs to be clean.”
“You can’t keep this up. It’ll wear you down until there’s nothing left.”
“There’s already nothing left,” she muttered so quietly he barely heard her.
“That’s not true and we both know it.”
Morgan resolutely returned to washing dirt off the wood. “I just need it to be clean.”
“And what will it be next week?”
He watched her grip on the cloth tighten until her knuckles were a stark white. She slumped, putting her other hand on the stall wall like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
“It’s a process, Morgan. People like Chris don’t just leave us alone after they’re dead. We’re not that lucky. Cleaning an inherently dirty barn is not going to make it better, though. Did you sleep at all last night?”
“No,” she whispered shakily. “Tea didn’t help. I had to…I had to do something.”
No wonder it was barely dawn and the barn was sparkling. He studied her. “You’re right,” he said after a minute. “You need to go back to work and not just helping me answer and read messages.”
Her head came up at that, wild gaze meeting his. “What? I’m not…I don’t want to leave…this…”
“Morgan,” he said, wanting to hug her but knowing he couldn’t yet. “I’m not kicking you out. I’m never going to kick you out. That room is yours whenever you want it for as long as you want it, okay? But you’ve got a very active mind, just like Russ and my son. I think we’ve reached the limit of how much better you can get while hiding here. It’s time you took a job.”
He could see far too much of the white’s of her eyes as she shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t. I’ll just screw it up again and I…” she trailed off, breath coming hard and fast.
Now he stepped over to her, pulling into her a hug she didn’t resist. “Morgan, you didn’t screw up in Grayspire. You did everything right. You can’t escape Chris’s hold by hiding from the world. You’re meant to do amazing things, Morgan, and that does not include making my barn so sparkling clean I’m afraid to use it.”
For a moment, she didn’t move, standing limply in his grasp, before a half-strangled laugh emerged and she wrapped her arms around him tightly, like he was a lifeline she was afraid to lose. “You can still use it.” She laughed again, a little more loosely. “I made you take your boots off.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you did.” He could feel some of the tension bleed out of her.
“I don’t know if I can do it, Sorin,” she mumbled into his shirt. “What if…”
“The Chris’s of the world are few and far between. Yes, you’ll meet more than your fair share because of your job but the chance of it being in a situation like Grayspire? Unlikely. Anyway, it’s not like Colin won’t listen to you. I’m sure he can put you on easy jobs with groups in the meantime.” Then he remembered something. “Russ has got another one starting later this week, why don’t you tag along with him?”
“Won’t Colin mind?” she asked, sniffing.
“Do I even need to answer that question?”
He felt more than heard a slight chuckle. “No, s’pose not. I’ll ask Russ later today.” She stepped back, back to not making eye contact, and looked around the barn. “What if I go back out in the world and then do something like this?”
“I don’t think you will,” Sorin said honestly. “This is a result of you having too much time on your hands to think and not being tired enough to beat the nightmares. I think if you start working again, you’ll find both of those reasons disappear.”
She touched her forehead, where even the bruising had finally faded, although she would have a nasty scar there for the rest of her life. “I hope you’re right,” she said quietly before her stomach rumbled loudly.
Sorin smiled. “I think it’s time for breakfast,” he said, “and I do believe it’s your turn to cook.”
She groaned. “Fine, but I wouldn’t go far if I were you. I haven’t slept in two days.”
His smile widened. “Better get used to it. From what Russ has said, that’s a common occurrence.”
“You are not helping,” she told him, nudging him in the side with her elbow as she passed.
“I think I already did,” he said, following her and pausing to pull on his boots.
Morgan glanced back, catching his gaze. “Thank you, Sorin. I don’t think I can ever repay you for this month or, I’m sure, what’ll come later.”
“You don’t need to.” He held up a hand to forestall her response. “Trust me,” he said quietly, “you don’t.”
She studied his face for a moment and then nodded, before disappearing for the house.
He tugged on his boots, took one last glance at the barn to memorize its cleanliness and then followed.
Story: Nothing is Ever Easy universe, Post NIEE
Challenges: Blue Raspberry 11 (spring cleaning), Wildberry 2 (my own worst enemy) & Rhubarb 7 (easier said than done)
Toppings & Extras: None
Word Count: 1,339
Rating: PG
Summary: Morgan’s trying to cope.
Notes:Takes place about a month after Choices, so 3.5 weeks since this. For Part 1 of the 1k Marathon.
Sorin rose as the sun peaked over the far hills and made his way downstairs, only stopping briefly to check that his son was sleeping soundly. His second stop was a peek into Morgan’s room on the first floor, but he paused there, blinking dumbly at the bed. It was empty, which surprised the hell out of him. He’d purposely slipped a couple well-meaning herbs in her tea the night before. She should have been out for hours yet. He was fairly certain she’d drunk it.
He headed into the kitchen where there was still no sign of her, but he got his second surprise of the day. Russ sat at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea with a pensive expression on his face.
“I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow.”
“Finished it up yesterday afternoon so decided to come home.
”
“Don’t suppose you’ve seen Morgan?”
“It was a little hard to miss her. She all but ripped my horse from me and told me not to touch anything because I’d make it dirty. I tried to explain the fact it’s a barn that also doubles as a stables, but I don’t think I made much progress. I finally decided I needed some tea before I could try again.”
Sorin sighed. “She’d been good for almost a week…”
“It’s barely been a month, Sorin. Chris gets under your skin more than a month’s worth, especially when you’re still basically a kid.”
He rubbed the bridge of his nose but nodded. “I’m used to damaged. I’m not used to manic and damaged,” he admitted. “I’m awake. I’ll go talk to her. You should try and get a few hours sleep or you’ll be off for days.”
“Yes, Mother,” Russ said but obediently scooped up his mug and headed for the stairs.
Sorin watched him go and then headed out to the barn. He could hear Morgan long before he could see her. Taking a deep breath, he poked his head into the barn and then blinked. The place was positively shining and probably smelled better than it had since long before Sorin had moved in. He went to step inside but caught his motion halfway as a voice shot out at him.
“Your boots are dirty!”
Sorin retracted his foot and finally spotted Morgan from where she’d shot out of a stall, apparently having heard the door open. He glanced down at them. “If I take them off, can I come in?”
She shifted without making eye contact. “As long as you don’t make it dirty.”
He slipped his boots off, stacked them neatly just outside the door and then stepped inside. “Morgan.”
“It just needs to be clean,” she said, voice rising a little, an edge of hysteria in it.
“Morgan,” he repeated gently, “it’s a barn that houses horses and all of the stuff we don’t need every day. It’s always going to be a little dirty.”
She shuddered, turning away from him. “It needs to be clean.”
“You can’t keep this up. It’ll wear you down until there’s nothing left.”
“There’s already nothing left,” she muttered so quietly he barely heard her.
“That’s not true and we both know it.”
Morgan resolutely returned to washing dirt off the wood. “I just need it to be clean.”
“And what will it be next week?”
He watched her grip on the cloth tighten until her knuckles were a stark white. She slumped, putting her other hand on the stall wall like it was the only thing keeping her upright.
“It’s a process, Morgan. People like Chris don’t just leave us alone after they’re dead. We’re not that lucky. Cleaning an inherently dirty barn is not going to make it better, though. Did you sleep at all last night?”
“No,” she whispered shakily. “Tea didn’t help. I had to…I had to do something.”
No wonder it was barely dawn and the barn was sparkling. He studied her. “You’re right,” he said after a minute. “You need to go back to work and not just helping me answer and read messages.”
Her head came up at that, wild gaze meeting his. “What? I’m not…I don’t want to leave…this…”
“Morgan,” he said, wanting to hug her but knowing he couldn’t yet. “I’m not kicking you out. I’m never going to kick you out. That room is yours whenever you want it for as long as you want it, okay? But you’ve got a very active mind, just like Russ and my son. I think we’ve reached the limit of how much better you can get while hiding here. It’s time you took a job.”
He could see far too much of the white’s of her eyes as she shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t. I’ll just screw it up again and I…” she trailed off, breath coming hard and fast.
Now he stepped over to her, pulling into her a hug she didn’t resist. “Morgan, you didn’t screw up in Grayspire. You did everything right. You can’t escape Chris’s hold by hiding from the world. You’re meant to do amazing things, Morgan, and that does not include making my barn so sparkling clean I’m afraid to use it.”
For a moment, she didn’t move, standing limply in his grasp, before a half-strangled laugh emerged and she wrapped her arms around him tightly, like he was a lifeline she was afraid to lose. “You can still use it.” She laughed again, a little more loosely. “I made you take your boots off.”
He smiled. “Yeah, you did.” He could feel some of the tension bleed out of her.
“I don’t know if I can do it, Sorin,” she mumbled into his shirt. “What if…”
“The Chris’s of the world are few and far between. Yes, you’ll meet more than your fair share because of your job but the chance of it being in a situation like Grayspire? Unlikely. Anyway, it’s not like Colin won’t listen to you. I’m sure he can put you on easy jobs with groups in the meantime.” Then he remembered something. “Russ has got another one starting later this week, why don’t you tag along with him?”
“Won’t Colin mind?” she asked, sniffing.
“Do I even need to answer that question?”
He felt more than heard a slight chuckle. “No, s’pose not. I’ll ask Russ later today.” She stepped back, back to not making eye contact, and looked around the barn. “What if I go back out in the world and then do something like this?”
“I don’t think you will,” Sorin said honestly. “This is a result of you having too much time on your hands to think and not being tired enough to beat the nightmares. I think if you start working again, you’ll find both of those reasons disappear.”
She touched her forehead, where even the bruising had finally faded, although she would have a nasty scar there for the rest of her life. “I hope you’re right,” she said quietly before her stomach rumbled loudly.
Sorin smiled. “I think it’s time for breakfast,” he said, “and I do believe it’s your turn to cook.”
She groaned. “Fine, but I wouldn’t go far if I were you. I haven’t slept in two days.”
His smile widened. “Better get used to it. From what Russ has said, that’s a common occurrence.”
“You are not helping,” she told him, nudging him in the side with her elbow as she passed.
“I think I already did,” he said, following her and pausing to pull on his boots.
Morgan glanced back, catching his gaze. “Thank you, Sorin. I don’t think I can ever repay you for this month or, I’m sure, what’ll come later.”
“You don’t need to.” He held up a hand to forestall her response. “Trust me,” he said quietly, “you don’t.”
She studied his face for a moment and then nodded, before disappearing for the house.
He tugged on his boots, took one last glance at the barn to memorize its cleanliness and then followed.