Bingo Crack
Molasses #8. Partners in Crime with Chopped Nuts, a Cherry, and Double Malt
Story : knights
Rating : PG
Timeframe : N/A
Word Count : 776
Malt Prompt : BINGO - Rune + Sethan + on my knees + use a dare + romantic
Malt Prompt : Truth or Dare - from Ichthus (from last round - back in October) a scene with a villain doing something good, and a hero doing something bad
So... this is probably the crackiest thing I've ever written (hence the cherry - normally I would never dream of the whole 'characters know what the writer is up to' scenario). This came about via Olram's suggestion of Prohibition AU to go with her song... which led to thoughts of bootlegger Lyssa, which led to silent movie AU, which somehow got me to damsels on railroad tracks, which, well, turned into this... yeah, I dunno... Anyway, don't expect much of anything but silliness.
Oh, and I know I drew a prompt (maple walnut #19. on my knees) and it did influence it, but it didn't seem the proper prompt to label the thing with.
Rune stood, arms crossed and head slowly shaking, watching as Lyssa plodded towards him, a distinctly human-shaped package dragging behind her. It slid across the grass and gravel, dangling from her hands by its feet, with sporadic bumps and thumps and the occasional muffled yelp or groan. Lyssa reached Rune’s side and heaved her load, by what he reckoned to be the shoulders and ankles, onto the tracks, with an emphatic grunt. She then dropped to her knees and set to arranging the body.
“You want to explain to me again why we’re doing this?” said Rune, as he knelt beside her.
“Well, you see,” said Lyssa, “there was this Bingo card-”
“What?”
“Nevermind.” she gave the bundle’s feet a shove, bringing them in line with the track. “See, we have to be the villains in this.” The head now flat on the other end of the rail, she gave the cloth around it a tug, while the occupant thrashed and squirmed. “And, well,” she continued, tugging at the ropes around its middle, “tying the damsel to the railroad tracks is one of those good old villain clichés.”
“But…” said Rune, a blank stare and a hand to the back of his neck as their victim pulled his head free and violently spit the gag from his mouth. “This is Kairn…”
Lyssa shrugged. “Damsel, Kairn, big difference.”
“Hey!” said the man on the tracks.
Rune shook his head. He reached out a hand to Kairn’s heavy bonds, and quickly withdrew, to lay it back on his neck, with a puzzled look at the whole mess. “So,” he said slowly, “now what?”
“You have it all wrong.” Both of them spun at the sound of a new voice, and, on the tracks, Kairn strained his neck as best he could, tied as he was. A few paces away, arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face, was Sethan.
“What are you doing here?” asked Rune.
“It’s the other half of the dare,” the necromancer replied, with a dismissive wave of a boney hand.
“The other half of the what?” said Rune.
Lyssa gave his arm a pat. “It’s all on the card, dear.” Rune gave his side a pinch and grimmaced. No, definitely not a dream.
“I have to do something nice,” said Sethan, closing the distance between them. “So I thought I’d point out that those knots will never hold.”
“Hey!” Kairn wrenched and twisted his body against the ropes. “You don’t think you could do something more constructive? Like maybe save me?”
“He’s right,” said Rune, pointing at the ropes as they began to stretch. “It’s already coming loose.”
“It’s all that thrashing he’s doing,” said Lyssa, and she glared down at Kairn. “If you’d just lie still-”
“But-!”
“Here,” said Sethan, “allow me.”
“What the-?” Kairn squirmed and flinched as Sethan sank to his knees beside him as well.
A quick flurry of hands on the ropes and the necromancer was rocking back on his heels to admire his work. “Now, you see,” he said to Rune and Lyssa. “That won’t be coming undone any time soon.”
Kairn glared at him, no longer able to budge anything below the neck. “Thanks,” he said. “Thanks a lot. You want to drive the train now too?”
Sethan gave him a pat on the head. “Don’t be silly.” Kairn relaxed in the slightest and let out a sigh. “I’m sure they have someone for that already.” The glare returned, and with it an inarticulate cry, to which Sethan just smiled and patted him again.
“Well.” Lyssa turned to Rune and pushed herself to her feet. “I suppose we should be going then.”
Rune cast a wide, gaping stare from Lyssa to Kairn, and to Sethan, now casually perched on the edge of the track at Kairn’s head. “We’re just going to leave him here?”
Lyssa shrugged. “I guess we could stand over him and rub our hands together and cackle for a bit, but that’s really not my style.”
Rune found his feet with a sigh and a shake of his head. “Alright then…” With a last, guilty look at Kairn, he set out for the road.
“So,” said Rune, with a sigh and a hand firmly kneading the back of his neck, as they made their way down the road. “This card tell you to do anything else?”
“No,” said Lyssa. She pursed her lips for a moment. “I don’t think… Oh, wait, yes.” A hand shot out behind him, curled over his backside, and gave a firm squeeze. “There,” she said, with a grin. “Now I think we’ve got it all covered.”
Story : knights
Rating : PG
Timeframe : N/A
Word Count : 776
Malt Prompt : BINGO - Rune + Sethan + on my knees + use a dare + romantic
Malt Prompt : Truth or Dare - from Ichthus (from last round - back in October) a scene with a villain doing something good, and a hero doing something bad
So... this is probably the crackiest thing I've ever written (hence the cherry - normally I would never dream of the whole 'characters know what the writer is up to' scenario). This came about via Olram's suggestion of Prohibition AU to go with her song... which led to thoughts of bootlegger Lyssa, which led to silent movie AU, which somehow got me to damsels on railroad tracks, which, well, turned into this... yeah, I dunno... Anyway, don't expect much of anything but silliness.
Oh, and I know I drew a prompt (maple walnut #19. on my knees) and it did influence it, but it didn't seem the proper prompt to label the thing with.
Rune stood, arms crossed and head slowly shaking, watching as Lyssa plodded towards him, a distinctly human-shaped package dragging behind her. It slid across the grass and gravel, dangling from her hands by its feet, with sporadic bumps and thumps and the occasional muffled yelp or groan. Lyssa reached Rune’s side and heaved her load, by what he reckoned to be the shoulders and ankles, onto the tracks, with an emphatic grunt. She then dropped to her knees and set to arranging the body.
“You want to explain to me again why we’re doing this?” said Rune, as he knelt beside her.
“Well, you see,” said Lyssa, “there was this Bingo card-”
“What?”
“Nevermind.” she gave the bundle’s feet a shove, bringing them in line with the track. “See, we have to be the villains in this.” The head now flat on the other end of the rail, she gave the cloth around it a tug, while the occupant thrashed and squirmed. “And, well,” she continued, tugging at the ropes around its middle, “tying the damsel to the railroad tracks is one of those good old villain clichés.”
“But…” said Rune, a blank stare and a hand to the back of his neck as their victim pulled his head free and violently spit the gag from his mouth. “This is Kairn…”
Lyssa shrugged. “Damsel, Kairn, big difference.”
“Hey!” said the man on the tracks.
Rune shook his head. He reached out a hand to Kairn’s heavy bonds, and quickly withdrew, to lay it back on his neck, with a puzzled look at the whole mess. “So,” he said slowly, “now what?”
“You have it all wrong.” Both of them spun at the sound of a new voice, and, on the tracks, Kairn strained his neck as best he could, tied as he was. A few paces away, arms folded across his chest and a scowl on his face, was Sethan.
“What are you doing here?” asked Rune.
“It’s the other half of the dare,” the necromancer replied, with a dismissive wave of a boney hand.
“The other half of the what?” said Rune.
Lyssa gave his arm a pat. “It’s all on the card, dear.” Rune gave his side a pinch and grimmaced. No, definitely not a dream.
“I have to do something nice,” said Sethan, closing the distance between them. “So I thought I’d point out that those knots will never hold.”
“Hey!” Kairn wrenched and twisted his body against the ropes. “You don’t think you could do something more constructive? Like maybe save me?”
“He’s right,” said Rune, pointing at the ropes as they began to stretch. “It’s already coming loose.”
“It’s all that thrashing he’s doing,” said Lyssa, and she glared down at Kairn. “If you’d just lie still-”
“But-!”
“Here,” said Sethan, “allow me.”
“What the-?” Kairn squirmed and flinched as Sethan sank to his knees beside him as well.
A quick flurry of hands on the ropes and the necromancer was rocking back on his heels to admire his work. “Now, you see,” he said to Rune and Lyssa. “That won’t be coming undone any time soon.”
Kairn glared at him, no longer able to budge anything below the neck. “Thanks,” he said. “Thanks a lot. You want to drive the train now too?”
Sethan gave him a pat on the head. “Don’t be silly.” Kairn relaxed in the slightest and let out a sigh. “I’m sure they have someone for that already.” The glare returned, and with it an inarticulate cry, to which Sethan just smiled and patted him again.
“Well.” Lyssa turned to Rune and pushed herself to her feet. “I suppose we should be going then.”
Rune cast a wide, gaping stare from Lyssa to Kairn, and to Sethan, now casually perched on the edge of the track at Kairn’s head. “We’re just going to leave him here?”
Lyssa shrugged. “I guess we could stand over him and rub our hands together and cackle for a bit, but that’s really not my style.”
Rune found his feet with a sigh and a shake of his head. “Alright then…” With a last, guilty look at Kairn, he set out for the road.
“So,” said Rune, with a sigh and a hand firmly kneading the back of his neck, as they made their way down the road. “This card tell you to do anything else?”
“No,” said Lyssa. She pursed her lips for a moment. “I don’t think… Oh, wait, yes.” A hand shot out behind him, curled over his backside, and gave a firm squeeze. “There,” she said, with a grin. “Now I think we’ve got it all covered.”