(no subject)
Maple Walnut #23. Two Left Feet and Flavor of the Day - 08/21/09 - Stultify
with Hot Fudge and Whipped Cream
Story : knights
Rating : PG
Timeframe : 1249
Word Count : 1305
Word of the Day : Stultify - to cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous
Kairn looked from the jumbled mass of bones splayed over the middle of the classroom floor to Sethan, who sat with his back against the wall, arms folded, and one dark brow quirked in sustained disbelief, and back. The newly arrived Master Wilifred and his apprentice were putting on quite a show amidst the display of bones, inadvertently juggling half the pieces before working them roughly into place. Nobles if he’d ever seen one, all bright colors and bits of lace, the pair hardly looked as if they belonged in the dusty lab, which only served to make their antics more amusing.
“Berwyk thinks we have something to learn from this?” Kairn hissed.
The back of a hand caught him sharply across the arm and he turned to scowl at Reida. “He’s good,” she said, “just hang on.”
“Good?” said Kairn. “He can’t put two bones together without knocking the rest apart.
A rib slid, as if greased, through the man’s hands and shot into the air. He scrambled to grab it, hand over hand closing on the empty air as it sailed above. The boy lunged and caught the toe of his boot on his master’s and the end of the falling bone on the top of his head. A chorus of laughter rose from the other end of the room where Aldo and his cohorts gathered.
“It’s like watching you try to animate something,” said Sethan.
“Very funny.” Kairn turned his glower on him. “I’d like to think I’m not that much of a fool. And no one ever said I was good. Or had any business teaching anyone anything.”
Reida’s hand met the back of his head. “Just watch.”
With a great deal of effort and much more fumbling, another conk to the boy’s head with a femur, a tangling of feet in the tail that nearly brought the both of them down, and an apparent complete oblivion to the snickers that traveled the outskirts of the classroom, somehow the two got the thing put together. The man dusted off his hands and gave the boy a look and he bobbed to attention, a mass of flapping blonde locks and delicate pink skin decked in an inordinate amount of gold buttons and lace. Kairn hadn’t seen him about much, wasn’t even sure of his name. Master and apprentice both seemed to spend more time around the lord and his kind than the rest of the lot. Not that anyone complained.
The two picked their way carefully past the ten foot sprawl of bones and knelt to set their hands on the edge of the ring. The form flared. There was a great creaking and crunching as the bones pulled together and set to dragging themselves from the floor.
Kairn bit his lip and Sethan’s brow hiked even further as the demon hauled one trembling leg beneath itself and another. Reida waved them both off with a whispered “Shhh.” Across the way, Kinu put a hand to his mouth while Aldo and Ril sniffed and snorted, their faces contorted with the effort not to laugh.
“You.” Master Wilifred pointed a dainty, manicured hand at Aldo, and the rest of the boys around him shrank back a bit. “You look like a strong lad.” Aldo bit his lip and softly choked and snorted a bit more, but Wilifred carried on as if he hadn’t noticed. “You come have a go at my demon, will you, boy?”
Aldo pitched forward under the force of his own laughter as he let it loose. “Me?” he said. The Master hastily stumbled out of the way, nearly tangling himself up in his own legs, as the teetering monstrosity of a construct wobbled towards him, its head bobbing precariously on its swaying neck. “Kairn could take that thing down. It’d probably turn to dust if you sneeze on it.”
“Ah,” said Wilifred, and his gaze flitted in Kairn’s direction for just a breath. Kairn eyed the shuffling collection of bones and decided he’d rather not be anywhere near it if someone did sneeze on it, just so as not to be caught beneath the wreckage. “But I’m asking you.”
He picked up a board from where it rested against the wall, looked down his long nose at it with a bit of a sneer, and proffered the thing to Aldo. “Come now,” he said. “For you, a trifling task, I am sure."
Aldo opened his mouth as if to protest further, left his jaw hanging as he thought better of it, and took the end of the board. Master Wilifred scampered out of the way as fast as his shiny boots that seemed more determined to find each other than the floor would let him. The boy was already at the door.
Reida leaned in conspiratorially, bumping her shoulder against Kairn’s. “You might want to cover your ears,” she whispered, jabbing a finger in the direction of the apprentice, who had his fingers forcibly crammed in his ears and one eye pressed shut.
“Huh?” said Kairn as she pulled away with a grin. He looked to Sethan, who was already complying with the suggestion, as was Reida, and slowly raised his hands to his own.
Aldo took three broad strides to the edge of the ring and planted himself in front of the demon. The beast swayed back and forth, on legs that buckled and straightened themselves, as if it might, at any moment, crumble to the floor of its own accord. He hefted the board, a sturdy scrap near the width and length of his arm, and brought it down on the thing’s head in one sharp blow.
There was an earsplitting bang, to which the whole room, ears covered or not, flinched, and a cloud of black smoke filled the air. The demon tumbled to the floor in the jumble anticipated, leaving Aldo, the board still dangling from his hand, coated in a thick cake of soot.
“Now,” said Master Wilifred, strolling back into the midst of the room in long, careful strides that placed his polished boots between the scattered piles of ash and bone. “The soot was, of course, just for show.” He looked down his front, frowned, and brushed a bit of the dark powder from his jacket. Aldo clutched at the board, shaking with anger, the only discernable bit of color about him the circle of pink where his mouth hung open, unable to find words. Wilifred reached out a hand, as if he might pat him on the shoulder, stopped, wrinkled his nose, and instead picked at another fleck on his own sleeve. “You could certainly,” he continued as Aldo‘s mouth silently twitched, “use something more… explosive.”
Kairn turned to Reida, still blinking and with a grin he suspected was even more foolish than her own. “He is good,” he whispered under the drone of Master Wilifred rattling off a list of potential components from skunk spray to flash powder.
“Told you,” said Reida. “I doubt our big friend here will be forgetting that anytime soon.”
Aldo wiped soot from his brow with the back of one thick fist. The beam still hung from the other, his knuckles twitching against its blackened surface. He set his eyes in a vicious glare at the apprentice who cowered alongside the door, looking very much as if he’d like to melt into the wall.
“No,” said Kairn, sadly shaking his head. “No, I don’t think he will.” He looked to the Master, still lecturing while calmly brushing a few more specks from his clothes. “So, it’s all just an act then?” he asked Reida.
“Oh no.” She shook her head, her lips twitching with the faintest of laughter. “Gods no. He really is such a fool. But he gets his in the end, doesn’t he?”
with Hot Fudge and Whipped Cream
Story : knights
Rating : PG
Timeframe : 1249
Word Count : 1305
Word of the Day : Stultify - to cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous
Kairn looked from the jumbled mass of bones splayed over the middle of the classroom floor to Sethan, who sat with his back against the wall, arms folded, and one dark brow quirked in sustained disbelief, and back. The newly arrived Master Wilifred and his apprentice were putting on quite a show amidst the display of bones, inadvertently juggling half the pieces before working them roughly into place. Nobles if he’d ever seen one, all bright colors and bits of lace, the pair hardly looked as if they belonged in the dusty lab, which only served to make their antics more amusing.
“Berwyk thinks we have something to learn from this?” Kairn hissed.
The back of a hand caught him sharply across the arm and he turned to scowl at Reida. “He’s good,” she said, “just hang on.”
“Good?” said Kairn. “He can’t put two bones together without knocking the rest apart.
A rib slid, as if greased, through the man’s hands and shot into the air. He scrambled to grab it, hand over hand closing on the empty air as it sailed above. The boy lunged and caught the toe of his boot on his master’s and the end of the falling bone on the top of his head. A chorus of laughter rose from the other end of the room where Aldo and his cohorts gathered.
“It’s like watching you try to animate something,” said Sethan.
“Very funny.” Kairn turned his glower on him. “I’d like to think I’m not that much of a fool. And no one ever said I was good. Or had any business teaching anyone anything.”
Reida’s hand met the back of his head. “Just watch.”
With a great deal of effort and much more fumbling, another conk to the boy’s head with a femur, a tangling of feet in the tail that nearly brought the both of them down, and an apparent complete oblivion to the snickers that traveled the outskirts of the classroom, somehow the two got the thing put together. The man dusted off his hands and gave the boy a look and he bobbed to attention, a mass of flapping blonde locks and delicate pink skin decked in an inordinate amount of gold buttons and lace. Kairn hadn’t seen him about much, wasn’t even sure of his name. Master and apprentice both seemed to spend more time around the lord and his kind than the rest of the lot. Not that anyone complained.
The two picked their way carefully past the ten foot sprawl of bones and knelt to set their hands on the edge of the ring. The form flared. There was a great creaking and crunching as the bones pulled together and set to dragging themselves from the floor.
Kairn bit his lip and Sethan’s brow hiked even further as the demon hauled one trembling leg beneath itself and another. Reida waved them both off with a whispered “Shhh.” Across the way, Kinu put a hand to his mouth while Aldo and Ril sniffed and snorted, their faces contorted with the effort not to laugh.
“You.” Master Wilifred pointed a dainty, manicured hand at Aldo, and the rest of the boys around him shrank back a bit. “You look like a strong lad.” Aldo bit his lip and softly choked and snorted a bit more, but Wilifred carried on as if he hadn’t noticed. “You come have a go at my demon, will you, boy?”
Aldo pitched forward under the force of his own laughter as he let it loose. “Me?” he said. The Master hastily stumbled out of the way, nearly tangling himself up in his own legs, as the teetering monstrosity of a construct wobbled towards him, its head bobbing precariously on its swaying neck. “Kairn could take that thing down. It’d probably turn to dust if you sneeze on it.”
“Ah,” said Wilifred, and his gaze flitted in Kairn’s direction for just a breath. Kairn eyed the shuffling collection of bones and decided he’d rather not be anywhere near it if someone did sneeze on it, just so as not to be caught beneath the wreckage. “But I’m asking you.”
He picked up a board from where it rested against the wall, looked down his long nose at it with a bit of a sneer, and proffered the thing to Aldo. “Come now,” he said. “For you, a trifling task, I am sure."
Aldo opened his mouth as if to protest further, left his jaw hanging as he thought better of it, and took the end of the board. Master Wilifred scampered out of the way as fast as his shiny boots that seemed more determined to find each other than the floor would let him. The boy was already at the door.
Reida leaned in conspiratorially, bumping her shoulder against Kairn’s. “You might want to cover your ears,” she whispered, jabbing a finger in the direction of the apprentice, who had his fingers forcibly crammed in his ears and one eye pressed shut.
“Huh?” said Kairn as she pulled away with a grin. He looked to Sethan, who was already complying with the suggestion, as was Reida, and slowly raised his hands to his own.
Aldo took three broad strides to the edge of the ring and planted himself in front of the demon. The beast swayed back and forth, on legs that buckled and straightened themselves, as if it might, at any moment, crumble to the floor of its own accord. He hefted the board, a sturdy scrap near the width and length of his arm, and brought it down on the thing’s head in one sharp blow.
There was an earsplitting bang, to which the whole room, ears covered or not, flinched, and a cloud of black smoke filled the air. The demon tumbled to the floor in the jumble anticipated, leaving Aldo, the board still dangling from his hand, coated in a thick cake of soot.
“Now,” said Master Wilifred, strolling back into the midst of the room in long, careful strides that placed his polished boots between the scattered piles of ash and bone. “The soot was, of course, just for show.” He looked down his front, frowned, and brushed a bit of the dark powder from his jacket. Aldo clutched at the board, shaking with anger, the only discernable bit of color about him the circle of pink where his mouth hung open, unable to find words. Wilifred reached out a hand, as if he might pat him on the shoulder, stopped, wrinkled his nose, and instead picked at another fleck on his own sleeve. “You could certainly,” he continued as Aldo‘s mouth silently twitched, “use something more… explosive.”
Kairn turned to Reida, still blinking and with a grin he suspected was even more foolish than her own. “He is good,” he whispered under the drone of Master Wilifred rattling off a list of potential components from skunk spray to flash powder.
“Told you,” said Reida. “I doubt our big friend here will be forgetting that anytime soon.”
Aldo wiped soot from his brow with the back of one thick fist. The beam still hung from the other, his knuckles twitching against its blackened surface. He set his eyes in a vicious glare at the apprentice who cowered alongside the door, looking very much as if he’d like to melt into the wall.
“No,” said Kairn, sadly shaking his head. “No, I don’t think he will.” He looked to the Master, still lecturing while calmly brushing a few more specks from his clothes. “So, it’s all just an act then?” he asked Reida.
“Oh no.” She shook her head, her lips twitching with the faintest of laughter. “Gods no. He really is such a fool. But he gets his in the end, doesn’t he?”