Cookies 'n' Cream 8, Peppermint 6: Here Kitty Kitty
Title: Here Kitty Kitty
Main Story: In The Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: Cookies 'n' cream 8 (laugh), peppermint 6 (card), My Treat (Happy birthday, Ivy!), malt (gandolforf's trick or treat: After this, I will not bone the crazy lady).
Word Count: 1846
Rating: PG-13, for naked ladies.
Summary: The gentle art of picking up guys, or, how Aaron wound up dating a stripper.
Notes: Switching gears entirely... if you get the joke in Joy's stage name I will love you forever. I will also love you forever if you know who Kestrel is.
Joy first noticed the guy when she was waiting for her turn on stage.
She noticed two things in particular: first, that he was way cute, and second, that he didn't seem interested. He didn't watch the girls going around for tips-- he did tip, but only when one of the girls approached him specifically. He didn't watch the stage, either, except for an occasional glance when Kestrel did something especially tricky on the pole, or when the redheaded girl in the money seats hooted particularly loudly. Must be his girlfriend, Joy thought, although it was odd that she was the only one watching.
Unless he was gay...? But what would a gay guy be doing in a titty bar?
Kestrel finished up about then, took her curtsey, collected her discarded clothing and trotted off the stage for her tip round. Joy went up to dance, and forgot the guy temporarily while she concentrated on working.
She remembered him again when she got down for her own tip round. The redheaded girl was particularly generous and polite (if noisily appreciative), and Joy thought of the maybe-boyfriend maybe-gay guy again as she tucked the redhead's twenty into her g-string. She left the redhead with a shimmy and a smile, and looked around for him.
He was talking to Sierra Rose, offering her a card, and he was looking her in the eye, which was weird because Sierra's rack was so impressive that even Joy had a hard time keeping her eyes on her face sometimes. He was also tipping for the privilege, which Joy appreciated in a more professional manner.
And now Sierra was writing on the card. Intrigued, Joy worked her way a little closer, collecting tips and absently evading a grabby hand on the way. Not the usual customer. Not at all.
Sierra blew the guy a kiss and wandered off into the crowd, and Joy eeled past the last two guys (who hadn't tipped earlier, so she didn't feel bad about skipping them). "Hi!" she chirped, and shimmied.
The guy jumped, and turned around, and then said, "Oh! Hi! Miss Kitty, right?"
Surprised and pleased, Joy beamed at him. "Yup, that's me!"
"You have awesome taste in movies," he told her.
Joy lifted an eyebrow, and was about to ask him where he got that when she remembered that Buddha's Delight had been in her lineup that evening. "You like Music and Lyrics?" she asked, instead.
He grinned. "Yes, I do. My sister says I shouldn't admit to liking chick flicks, but I'm not really sure what that would gain me."
Joy stopped shimmying for a moment while she thought about it. "Not much," she said, finally. "In all honesty, girls tend to like the guys who don't put down our favorite movies."
"That's what I thought," he said. "I'm Aaron, by the way."
"Aaron," Joy repeated. Usually she didn't like the customers telling her their names, since it was almost always an intro to a sleazy pickup line, but she didn't get that vibe off Aaron. He was just... introducing himself. Because that was what you did, even when you were talking to a bare-ass naked girl in a G-string.
She was beginning to like him more and more. Too bad he was taken.
Aaron smiled at her, opened his mouth to say something, then shoved a card at her and hissed, "Quick, hide this!"
"Where?" Joy demanded, but she took it anyway, and after a moment of thought slid it over the bar to the bartender, who tucked it underneath a pile of napkins just as the redheaded girl jumped and flung her arms around Aaron.
Girlfriend, not gay, Joy decided, with some reluctance. Definitely a girlfriend. No one would be that cavalier with a friend's personal space.
"Aaron!" the girl caroled. "Thank you! This is the best birthday ever!"
Aaron, looking rather more long-suffering than Joy would expect from a man getting hugged by his girlfriend, patted the girl's arm and said, vaguely, "Yes, well, I do try."
The girl kissed him noisily on the ear. "You win," she told him, with great solemnity. "You win at trying. You win at life. Hi, I'm Ivy."
It took Joy a moment and the girl's beaming grin to realize that she'd just been acknowledged.
"Well, hi there," she said, putting on her sexiest smile. She ducked the girl's slightly wavering outstretched hand and went for a wave instead. "I'm Miss Kitty. I'm so pleased to meet you."
"Me too," Ivy told her, fervently, drawing her hand back with no sign of offense. "You're gorgeous. I love your hair."
Joy let her smile become a little more geniune. Her hair, which was long, blonde and waving, was her greatest pride. "Thanks," she said. "I love yours."
Ivy, who was clearly slightly drunk, beamed at her. "Thank you!" she said, then turned to Aaron and whispered, "She likes my hair!" very loudly. Joy stifled a grin and saw Aaron doing the same.
"It's very pretty hair," he told her. "Did you want something, Vee?"
Ivy thought about it, then perked up. "Oh! Yes! More money. I'm out."
Aaron laughed. "Admit it, you only see me as an ambulatory ATM," he told her, affectionately, and got out his wallet. "Here. Go tip the nice strippers."
"No, that's Dad," Ivy said, apparently in reference to the ATM remark, then snatched the money.
"Thanks! Karma will repay you when she's got a decent job." She gave him another noisy kiss on the cheek, handed Joy a dollar, and bounced off back to the money seats.
"Karma's not going to remember this in four years," Aaron muttered, then shook his head and rolled his eyes in Ivy's direction. "Don't mind her. She's a little bit tipsy."
"I noticed," Joy said, highly amused. "Is she always that friendly when she's drunk?"
"Oh, yes," Aaron said, with feeling, then blinked and looked briefly panicked. "I mean, um, I wouldn't know. Since she just turned twenty-one. Since I would never provide alcohol to a minor. Certainly not. No."
Joy snickered. "Well, she's of age now!" she said, brightly. "I won't tell."
"I appreciarte that," he said. "Speaking of her being of age, would you mind signing that card? It's for Ivy's birthday, and I'm trying to get everyone's signatures, because she will get such a kick out of it."
"Oh, sure," Joy said, and reclaimed the card from the bartender, who looked just as amused as she felt. "Let's see. Ivy, right? Any interesting spellings on that?"
Aaron shook his head. "Nope, just plain I-v-y."
Joy looked over the card, saw with more amusement that Sierra had written happy birthday, sugarcheeks! and that at least two of the girls had left lipsticked kiss prints. "You must love her a lot," she said, and found a space that hadn't been written on or kissed yet.
He smiled, and his whole expression softened. "Yeah, I do. I mean, she's annoying as hell sometimes. Most of the time. But then sometimes she's just... I don't know, I've been wrapped around her finger since she was five and I was nine."
Joy paused in the middle of "birthday" and raised an eyebrow at him. "You've known her that long?"
"Technically," he said, "she was four and a half, so longer. Why?"
"Talk about your childhood sweethearts," Joy said, and finished the inscription. Happy birthday, Ivy, from Miss Kitty! She dotted the I's with hearts. It seemed appropriate.
When she looked up, Aaron was staring at her with an utterly blank expression on his face.
"What?" Joy asked, feeling self-conscious for the first time that night. Which was weird, because she was bare-ass naked and had been for some time. But then this was her job, and she was used to it. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Childhood sweethearts?" he asked, in a strangled tone. "You think we're dating?"
"You're not?" she asked, confused.
"No," Aaron said, and rubbed a hand over his face. "God, no. She's my little sister. Half-sister. Step-sister. Something. Whatever, she's my sister."
“Sister,” Joy said, disappointed. “Well, that’s new. Most guys say they don’t know her.”
“No, really,” he said. “Look, she’s gay, she just turned twenty-one so she’s finally old enough to go to a strip joint, but her mom didn’t want her going alone so I said I’d go with her and make sure nothing terrible happened. I swear to God she’s actually my sister. Jesus.”
Well, that sounded true enough. And hilarious. Joy couldn’t help it. She laughed at him.
She’d found, in her time at the Velvet Lounge, that most men found being laughed at by a naked stripper highly unnerving. Aaron just looked grossed out, although she assumed at the image rather than her.
Oh, yeah. She wanted this one.
“Sorry,” she said, and handed him the card back. “Sorry! Your face was just really funny.”
That won her a reluctant smile. “I’m told that I do make excellent faces,” he admitted. “Well, thanks for your time.” He handed her a ten, and turned to go.
Oh, no, you don’t! Joy thought. Hitting on customers might be verboten, but he wasn’t the usual customer and anyway she was leaving the Velvet Lounge next week, so screw them. “Hang on a second,” she said, and grabbed a napkin from the bar. She took the pen back, scribbled her number and her name (real and stage, so he’d know who she was) then shoved pen and napkin into his hand. “Since you're not dating, here. Call me.”
He blinked at her, looking slightly bewildered. “Um. What? Thanks, I mean. I think? I should probably tell you...”
“No time!” Joy said, brightly. “Gotta get back to work. Call me! Unless you have an actual girlfriend. But if she’s bi and into that sort of thing call me anyway.” She bestowed another beaming smile on him and danced into the dressing room to change.
Pop Goes My Heart, she decided, to open up the next set. Yes. Definitely. And then Let Me Be Good To You, because if she was going to corrupt people’s childhoods she was going to go all the way.
Besides, she thought Aaron would think it was funny.
---
“What was that?” Ivy asked, when they left the bar. She was weaving slightly on her feet, but was coherent and chipper, so Aaron didn’t feel too bad about putting her in a cab to fend for herself.
“Those were strippers,” he said, and grinned when she stuck her tongue out at him. “Funny, I thought you’d know that better than me.”
“Oh, shut the hell up,” Ivy said, cheerfully. “I meant that thing with Miss Kitty. She gave you something.”
“Oh, that.” Aaron got the napkin out, looked at the number and Joy/Miss Kitty scrawled across it. “I think I got a date.”
Ivy stopped dead in the street and stared at him. “Oh, no fucking fair,” she breathed.
Aaron busied himself with hailing a cab, because this one was going to be epic.
Main Story: In The Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: Cookies 'n' cream 8 (laugh), peppermint 6 (card), My Treat (Happy birthday, Ivy!), malt (gandolforf's trick or treat: After this, I will not bone the crazy lady).
Word Count: 1846
Rating: PG-13, for naked ladies.
Summary: The gentle art of picking up guys, or, how Aaron wound up dating a stripper.
Notes: Switching gears entirely... if you get the joke in Joy's stage name I will love you forever. I will also love you forever if you know who Kestrel is.
Joy first noticed the guy when she was waiting for her turn on stage.
She noticed two things in particular: first, that he was way cute, and second, that he didn't seem interested. He didn't watch the girls going around for tips-- he did tip, but only when one of the girls approached him specifically. He didn't watch the stage, either, except for an occasional glance when Kestrel did something especially tricky on the pole, or when the redheaded girl in the money seats hooted particularly loudly. Must be his girlfriend, Joy thought, although it was odd that she was the only one watching.
Unless he was gay...? But what would a gay guy be doing in a titty bar?
Kestrel finished up about then, took her curtsey, collected her discarded clothing and trotted off the stage for her tip round. Joy went up to dance, and forgot the guy temporarily while she concentrated on working.
She remembered him again when she got down for her own tip round. The redheaded girl was particularly generous and polite (if noisily appreciative), and Joy thought of the maybe-boyfriend maybe-gay guy again as she tucked the redhead's twenty into her g-string. She left the redhead with a shimmy and a smile, and looked around for him.
He was talking to Sierra Rose, offering her a card, and he was looking her in the eye, which was weird because Sierra's rack was so impressive that even Joy had a hard time keeping her eyes on her face sometimes. He was also tipping for the privilege, which Joy appreciated in a more professional manner.
And now Sierra was writing on the card. Intrigued, Joy worked her way a little closer, collecting tips and absently evading a grabby hand on the way. Not the usual customer. Not at all.
Sierra blew the guy a kiss and wandered off into the crowd, and Joy eeled past the last two guys (who hadn't tipped earlier, so she didn't feel bad about skipping them). "Hi!" she chirped, and shimmied.
The guy jumped, and turned around, and then said, "Oh! Hi! Miss Kitty, right?"
Surprised and pleased, Joy beamed at him. "Yup, that's me!"
"You have awesome taste in movies," he told her.
Joy lifted an eyebrow, and was about to ask him where he got that when she remembered that Buddha's Delight had been in her lineup that evening. "You like Music and Lyrics?" she asked, instead.
He grinned. "Yes, I do. My sister says I shouldn't admit to liking chick flicks, but I'm not really sure what that would gain me."
Joy stopped shimmying for a moment while she thought about it. "Not much," she said, finally. "In all honesty, girls tend to like the guys who don't put down our favorite movies."
"That's what I thought," he said. "I'm Aaron, by the way."
"Aaron," Joy repeated. Usually she didn't like the customers telling her their names, since it was almost always an intro to a sleazy pickup line, but she didn't get that vibe off Aaron. He was just... introducing himself. Because that was what you did, even when you were talking to a bare-ass naked girl in a G-string.
She was beginning to like him more and more. Too bad he was taken.
Aaron smiled at her, opened his mouth to say something, then shoved a card at her and hissed, "Quick, hide this!"
"Where?" Joy demanded, but she took it anyway, and after a moment of thought slid it over the bar to the bartender, who tucked it underneath a pile of napkins just as the redheaded girl jumped and flung her arms around Aaron.
Girlfriend, not gay, Joy decided, with some reluctance. Definitely a girlfriend. No one would be that cavalier with a friend's personal space.
"Aaron!" the girl caroled. "Thank you! This is the best birthday ever!"
Aaron, looking rather more long-suffering than Joy would expect from a man getting hugged by his girlfriend, patted the girl's arm and said, vaguely, "Yes, well, I do try."
The girl kissed him noisily on the ear. "You win," she told him, with great solemnity. "You win at trying. You win at life. Hi, I'm Ivy."
It took Joy a moment and the girl's beaming grin to realize that she'd just been acknowledged.
"Well, hi there," she said, putting on her sexiest smile. She ducked the girl's slightly wavering outstretched hand and went for a wave instead. "I'm Miss Kitty. I'm so pleased to meet you."
"Me too," Ivy told her, fervently, drawing her hand back with no sign of offense. "You're gorgeous. I love your hair."
Joy let her smile become a little more geniune. Her hair, which was long, blonde and waving, was her greatest pride. "Thanks," she said. "I love yours."
Ivy, who was clearly slightly drunk, beamed at her. "Thank you!" she said, then turned to Aaron and whispered, "She likes my hair!" very loudly. Joy stifled a grin and saw Aaron doing the same.
"It's very pretty hair," he told her. "Did you want something, Vee?"
Ivy thought about it, then perked up. "Oh! Yes! More money. I'm out."
Aaron laughed. "Admit it, you only see me as an ambulatory ATM," he told her, affectionately, and got out his wallet. "Here. Go tip the nice strippers."
"No, that's Dad," Ivy said, apparently in reference to the ATM remark, then snatched the money.
"Thanks! Karma will repay you when she's got a decent job." She gave him another noisy kiss on the cheek, handed Joy a dollar, and bounced off back to the money seats.
"Karma's not going to remember this in four years," Aaron muttered, then shook his head and rolled his eyes in Ivy's direction. "Don't mind her. She's a little bit tipsy."
"I noticed," Joy said, highly amused. "Is she always that friendly when she's drunk?"
"Oh, yes," Aaron said, with feeling, then blinked and looked briefly panicked. "I mean, um, I wouldn't know. Since she just turned twenty-one. Since I would never provide alcohol to a minor. Certainly not. No."
Joy snickered. "Well, she's of age now!" she said, brightly. "I won't tell."
"I appreciarte that," he said. "Speaking of her being of age, would you mind signing that card? It's for Ivy's birthday, and I'm trying to get everyone's signatures, because she will get such a kick out of it."
"Oh, sure," Joy said, and reclaimed the card from the bartender, who looked just as amused as she felt. "Let's see. Ivy, right? Any interesting spellings on that?"
Aaron shook his head. "Nope, just plain I-v-y."
Joy looked over the card, saw with more amusement that Sierra had written happy birthday, sugarcheeks! and that at least two of the girls had left lipsticked kiss prints. "You must love her a lot," she said, and found a space that hadn't been written on or kissed yet.
He smiled, and his whole expression softened. "Yeah, I do. I mean, she's annoying as hell sometimes. Most of the time. But then sometimes she's just... I don't know, I've been wrapped around her finger since she was five and I was nine."
Joy paused in the middle of "birthday" and raised an eyebrow at him. "You've known her that long?"
"Technically," he said, "she was four and a half, so longer. Why?"
"Talk about your childhood sweethearts," Joy said, and finished the inscription. Happy birthday, Ivy, from Miss Kitty! She dotted the I's with hearts. It seemed appropriate.
When she looked up, Aaron was staring at her with an utterly blank expression on his face.
"What?" Joy asked, feeling self-conscious for the first time that night. Which was weird, because she was bare-ass naked and had been for some time. But then this was her job, and she was used to it. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Childhood sweethearts?" he asked, in a strangled tone. "You think we're dating?"
"You're not?" she asked, confused.
"No," Aaron said, and rubbed a hand over his face. "God, no. She's my little sister. Half-sister. Step-sister. Something. Whatever, she's my sister."
“Sister,” Joy said, disappointed. “Well, that’s new. Most guys say they don’t know her.”
“No, really,” he said. “Look, she’s gay, she just turned twenty-one so she’s finally old enough to go to a strip joint, but her mom didn’t want her going alone so I said I’d go with her and make sure nothing terrible happened. I swear to God she’s actually my sister. Jesus.”
Well, that sounded true enough. And hilarious. Joy couldn’t help it. She laughed at him.
She’d found, in her time at the Velvet Lounge, that most men found being laughed at by a naked stripper highly unnerving. Aaron just looked grossed out, although she assumed at the image rather than her.
Oh, yeah. She wanted this one.
“Sorry,” she said, and handed him the card back. “Sorry! Your face was just really funny.”
That won her a reluctant smile. “I’m told that I do make excellent faces,” he admitted. “Well, thanks for your time.” He handed her a ten, and turned to go.
Oh, no, you don’t! Joy thought. Hitting on customers might be verboten, but he wasn’t the usual customer and anyway she was leaving the Velvet Lounge next week, so screw them. “Hang on a second,” she said, and grabbed a napkin from the bar. She took the pen back, scribbled her number and her name (real and stage, so he’d know who she was) then shoved pen and napkin into his hand. “Since you're not dating, here. Call me.”
He blinked at her, looking slightly bewildered. “Um. What? Thanks, I mean. I think? I should probably tell you...”
“No time!” Joy said, brightly. “Gotta get back to work. Call me! Unless you have an actual girlfriend. But if she’s bi and into that sort of thing call me anyway.” She bestowed another beaming smile on him and danced into the dressing room to change.
Pop Goes My Heart, she decided, to open up the next set. Yes. Definitely. And then Let Me Be Good To You, because if she was going to corrupt people’s childhoods she was going to go all the way.
Besides, she thought Aaron would think it was funny.
---
“What was that?” Ivy asked, when they left the bar. She was weaving slightly on her feet, but was coherent and chipper, so Aaron didn’t feel too bad about putting her in a cab to fend for herself.
“Those were strippers,” he said, and grinned when she stuck her tongue out at him. “Funny, I thought you’d know that better than me.”
“Oh, shut the hell up,” Ivy said, cheerfully. “I meant that thing with Miss Kitty. She gave you something.”
“Oh, that.” Aaron got the napkin out, looked at the number and Joy/Miss Kitty scrawled across it. “I think I got a date.”
Ivy stopped dead in the street and stared at him. “Oh, no fucking fair,” she breathed.
Aaron busied himself with hailing a cab, because this one was going to be epic.