I feel like I'm rarely satisfied on an epic scale. Why can't that happen? What part of me is making me like this and how do I fix it. How do I make myself content with things. I feel like it might be really hindering how I am percieved.

It was great to be feeling things and healthily expressing emotions for a bit. I have great friends. I had a rare anxiety enduced asthma bought at a point last night in which everything was going wrong, but after talking and crying and hyperventalationg for a half hour in the car, I felt better than ever and I'll say it again I feel very lucky to ( Read more... )

Something has definetly shifted in me and I just can't tap into my emotional database about situations. My behavior has definetly been suprising, but mostly surprisingly unsatisfying. I cannot fatham taking any path that is going to lead me into happiness, or even contentment. I feel like I almost should shield myself from any human interaction and ( Read more... )

I have some sort of not right infection. It started out as a sinus infection but has created a disgusingly ozzing cist on the back of my shoulder/ neck. I'm exagerating its grossness a little. My Lymphnodes in my neck are swollen to golf balls and its really painful... but I feel pretty fine aside from that slight uncomfortability I think I'm going ( Read more... )

Life is just a mess of crazy, but it wouldn't be life without it. I feel like my whole life has revolved around this severe anxiety I have had. That is, my whole life I feel has been centered around my insecurity about wether or not I'm capable of acomplishing anything at all. For some reason lately, even though I almost feel lazier than ever, ( Read more... )

This paidea has just been a string of bad luck and misunderstanding... granted I had a lot of fun... but not too much work had been possible to pile up. Today Alta and I decided we were going to work super hard late into the night... we made a list of things that needed to be completed before the end of the day... we were very motivated and decided ( Read more... )

I bet that you wish that instead of going to school for three weeks you could hang out in northampton with one of your bestfriends, do some of your favorite things, hang out with one of your favorite adults (actor jeffery driesbach), and then get to go to new york city and put on a super fun hilarious 2 woman show and get critiqued by professional ( Read more... )

crazy lightening and thunder in January is great. We love the evil global warmin ( Read more... )

I can't sleep man.
I got the internet up in my room so now I'm going to turn into a junkie again. The internet form of junkie. I moved if you didn't know I now live across from the back parking lot of noble hospital on west silver st in westfield in a quaint historical house.

here are some pointless things that are lame but sadly amusing
( under here )

Gosh I must be bored. I did this thing that people are doing, but differently.... sort of. I took the first clumps of text for the first and last entry of each month. I guess it's supposed to sum up my year, though I feel like it hardly does. But it does say something that the majority of theese entries im complaining about the stress of school.

( Read more... )