I wish...

[runninggingers]

I wish I could just do what I want- the problem is- there are only a few specific things that I really want! I mean, I know I want a dress, flower girls, a ring bearer, dancing and my brother in law to do the ceremony- but from then on it's like anything goes....there are only a few things I specifically don't want- a church, I don't know

Comments

[poyre]

Isn't family great. The people we relied on the most and loved all our lives have the best ability to rip out our hearts without even breaking a sweat.

Sometimes there really is no good resolution to problems like these.

The best thing I have found is to step back, look at the situation as objectively as you can given the circumstances and make a decision. At that point stick with it and the people who care about you will hopefully at least respect you enough to not deride it or rail against it.

[azzna]

You have a tough ride ahead and I am sorry you have to deal with this. There is nobody who can get to you faster then family. They know all the ways to "manipulate" you into their way of doing things.

On a side note, would your mom be tramatized with a trip to vegas to get married? If so, do a bit of research and then if she tries to pull things you or Toby don't want, you can say "Well, I looked into get married in Vegas and we could do this...." That might stop her.

sorry it's long....

[transplanted]

Over the years I’ve been told by a lot of people “Your totally controlled by your mother” or “Why do you let your mother tell you want to do” or “you need to take back control of your life, stop letting your mother run it for you” mostly I just let these kinds of comments slide because a) I didn’t really feel like my mother controlled me - just had some opinions about what I should be doing that seemed pretty reasonable and 2) it was easier to do the things that my mother wanted me to do than fight her because a) I don’t like to fight and b) the things she wanted me to do didn’t seem that bad and c) if I did what she wanted me to do - I got to do things I wanted to do in return. So I mostly let my mother ‘control’ me and got out of the deal the personal freedom to do the things I wanted to do

[elcampane_twist]

((hugs)) I've seen many a wedding hijacked by the parents. Just remember to breathe deeply. Besides whoever said therapists do not have problems?

My cousin eloped to avoid the malstrom of crap from her Dad and Mom.

[jasper17]

I had this thing all typed up and then I went back and read what Sarah said and she put it well. Especially the part about growing in the next phase of your relationship with your mother.

Good luck and if you need anything, holler =)