I could feel the cloud darkness thing coming back today. And it was scary because you can like see it coming. Like you know that you are required to battle this lurking shadow and you don't even know where it came from. And then it was so weird, because I was listening to Aubrey's cd, and it reminded me of his smile. And the cloud just went away, ( Read more... )

okay. i am still missing Jordan. and it gets better...now I'm missing Aubrey too. Like mad amounts fo sho. last night the worst idea i've had in a long time is to take out my guitar and belt out a song by Our Lady Peace. steph on my floor came knocking and was like, stop behaving like a seen kid. What the hell is a "seen kid?" I thought about that ( Read more... )

Okay, I'm all set. I've met someone "normal." And more! Like way beautiful. Like way way way beautiful. Aubrey just understands me. Just like knows what it's like to be awkward. Like how cool is that? I'm so so so so so so so so happy, my heart has never skipped a beat. Isn't that weird. I thought I was having a heart problem or something, but I ( Read more... )

For my best friend, who I miss way too much.


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I had this class today which was so awesome only because I make it a point to take like every class this professor teaches. Today he said that there was like this actual theory that if men have orgasms the way women do they would die. And he like yelled it. Like it was some imperical fact. I like could not stop laughing. It was mighty awkward. Then ( Read more... )

Okay, look, I'm here in the burbs. I had like one class today. The rest of the day I spent trying to understand the translation of the Quran to understand something about my ancestory. I don't understand. 1/ Everything is from Allah 2/Good things are surely from Allah. 3/But bad things come from thyself? Is this for real? I remember telling a ( Read more... )

Jordan is in Scotland. For like this whole semester. And I look for her even though I know she's there. I expect her to be strolling down Mass avenue looking for me too. I know she's doing fine, I know that she's happy. I'm sure she is, she doesn't have to know what it's like to be without her. My heart like physically aches when she's not nearby. ( Read more... )

Like for serious. Could I please have someone normal to go on a date with? And where would I find one of these "normal" people? Like I don't want someone who screams redrum all the time and tries to strangle me. Like seriously. Or someone who pretends to have a two year old son for like fortyfive minutes when I've repeatedly told them that it's not ( Read more... )

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There's this fear that creeps in when I'm at work, or walking down the street, or even with people that I love the most. There's like this vast dark cloud that takes over, I can feel it filling my mind and asking me why I am alive. Like this cloud is speaking to me. Not that it's really speaking, but it's this pressure like when it rains and you ( Read more... )