Ficlet - "The Light and the Thunder"
Title: The Light and the Thunder
Author: stardust_20
Date: 13/06/11
Characters/pairing: Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne (Julia Spencer-Fleming novels)
Spoilers: I wrote this directly after finishing Out of the Deep I Cry. It begins right where that book left off.
Word count: 400+
Genre: angst/romance
Hot tears roll down her cheeks as they cling to one another. Joy, sorrow ... she's not sure which they are but the one thing she does know is that what's been laid bare in the open now can't be taken back. Lead me not into temptation, she prays. But it's already too late for that. Far too late.
His touch warms her in places she never knew she had. His presence in her life fills the hole that she'd tried to fill with God but had always felt was never quite the right fit. God is supposed to be the one, the only, anything and everything but the hole that remains in her soul defies even the nonconvention of the Almighty. Russ is the right fit - the one who understands her, whose dark places match her own. She never has to ask or tell; he always knows, is right there with her.
His heart thuds against her chest in perfect harmony with hers. For one bleak, horrible minute she wishes they were back in that cellar ... just the two of them. No world outside, no complicated lives to live. Just one man, one woman, sharing a love that for one heartbreakingly brief moment could be let out in the open.
"We can't do this," she murmurs into his chest.
"Do you remember when I said I know where I belong?" he says, voice husky with held-back tears. " I belong you with you, Clare. We belong."
Improbably, Pat Benatar runs through her head. Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong. We belong, we belong together.
"Oh God," she cries and it's as much a prayer as an admission that she wants this. He just holds her tighter, as if knowing this is it, his last chance and he may never hold her again. He's a good person, trying to do right, just as she is, both feeling the depth of the pain in each others souls at the knowledge that while this feels so very right, giving in to it would change them and make them not who they are. Make them unable to live with themselves. Or each other.
He buries his face in her hair. "Why is it so hard?" His voice is barely a whisper and in it she feels the emotions he's always keeping under tight rein.
"Because it is," she replies, aware that while it isn't really an answer, it's the only answer she can give.
* * *
Author: stardust_20
Date: 13/06/11
Characters/pairing: Clare Fergusson/Russ Van Alstyne (Julia Spencer-Fleming novels)
Spoilers: I wrote this directly after finishing Out of the Deep I Cry. It begins right where that book left off.
Word count: 400+
Genre: angst/romance
Hot tears roll down her cheeks as they cling to one another. Joy, sorrow ... she's not sure which they are but the one thing she does know is that what's been laid bare in the open now can't be taken back. Lead me not into temptation, she prays. But it's already too late for that. Far too late.
His touch warms her in places she never knew she had. His presence in her life fills the hole that she'd tried to fill with God but had always felt was never quite the right fit. God is supposed to be the one, the only, anything and everything but the hole that remains in her soul defies even the nonconvention of the Almighty. Russ is the right fit - the one who understands her, whose dark places match her own. She never has to ask or tell; he always knows, is right there with her.
His heart thuds against her chest in perfect harmony with hers. For one bleak, horrible minute she wishes they were back in that cellar ... just the two of them. No world outside, no complicated lives to live. Just one man, one woman, sharing a love that for one heartbreakingly brief moment could be let out in the open.
"We can't do this," she murmurs into his chest.
"Do you remember when I said I know where I belong?" he says, voice husky with held-back tears. " I belong you with you, Clare. We belong."
Improbably, Pat Benatar runs through her head. Whatever we deny or embrace, for worse or for better, we belong. We belong, we belong together.
"Oh God," she cries and it's as much a prayer as an admission that she wants this. He just holds her tighter, as if knowing this is it, his last chance and he may never hold her again. He's a good person, trying to do right, just as she is, both feeling the depth of the pain in each others souls at the knowledge that while this feels so very right, giving in to it would change them and make them not who they are. Make them unable to live with themselves. Or each other.
He buries his face in her hair. "Why is it so hard?" His voice is barely a whisper and in it she feels the emotions he's always keeping under tight rein.
"Because it is," she replies, aware that while it isn't really an answer, it's the only answer she can give.
* * *