23:32
Hi.
So for the past few days I've been feeling very, very bitter. 엄청 씁쓸해.
I know I sound like a total brat, constantly whining about how I have no luck.
But if you were in my shoes.. Won't you say the same?
Going for Second Invasion wasn't luck. It took me a months' worth of work and all my savings to even afford the whole trip, to the point that I am broke rn, not even getting things for myself.
We got the tickets because we were Official Inspirits, that wasn't luck either.
I wish that I'll one day get to go to a fansign before Infinite comes here, but that seems distant and impossible.
Every single fucking thing I get in this fandom, is earned. Don't you dare say I'm lucky for getting these mere things.
Don't you dare.
Can I say that I spent thousands for Infinite? Because if I were to add up everything, it'd be more than $2,000. Spent on 7 boys.
I don't even ask for anything in return. But how do you think I feel, looking at everyone around me getting something in return for their efforts, whereas I end up with zilch? To see more and more people come in to this world that I hold so dear, and talk about it with such frivolous words and mindless actions.
How do I stand quietly, watching all this happen?
Is it really so much to ask for recognition? I always submit myself to tears in the end, but for what?
What for should I put so much thought and emotion into your messages when I have this inkling inside that it goes unread?
All I ask is for acknowledgement, just once.
Just once.
You have a sea of fans, why should my departure make a difference?