Another Blinkin' ISBI 2.1
Start - Archive
I miss snow. Last time:
- Chickadee, daughter of neighbour Phil, joined the family.
- Bef met rich boy Armando.
- Armando moved in and got engaged to Bef, but rejected marriage.
- Chickadee was openly contemptuous of such fuckery.
- Bef and Armando fixed up enough to conceive a kid and get married.
And we left off with Bef in labour in her wedding dress.
It's a girl, named Waxwing! Cedar waxwings are known for sitting in a row on branches and passing a berry back and forth amongst themselves until one eats it.
Chickadee: Oh, well, that's just grand.
Armando: YES YES MY AWESOME GENES ARE PASSED ON WOO
Work Friend: Can I... Can I touch it?
Bef: No. My bb.
I'd be sketched out, but he's making such a fab gesture. He's no threat.
Armando: HA! Take that, Not My Child!
Chickadee: GAH!
Chickadee: I will find the deepest, darkest pit, fill it with the blood of everyone you ever loved (save Mom, of course), wind out your soul on a tuning fork and throw you in, damning you to drown in that pit... forever.
Armando: Haha! Oh, you! C'mon, toss it back to your ol' stepdad!
Meanwhile, Bef is left to do all the stuff that actually needs doing...
...including running the universe. She's almost at her LTW already.
Annnd there it is! First permaplat of the ISBI!
Also, fifth pop.
Armando: OH MY GOD! I bet it was Michelle! Bitch be smokin'!
Bef: You know, I support capital punishment for the use of truly terrible puns.
The Schnoz: Oh, me too, totally!
Bef: You're agreeing with everything I say, regardless of its ridiculosity?
Schnoz: Yes indeedy!
Bef: Are you that intent on getting in my pants?
Schnoz: Absolutely, ma'am!
Armando: I feel lonely with Bef at work and Dee at school. I wonder what could solve that?
Waxwing: HEEELP MEEE
Armando: I know! Money! Who needs family when you can buy your own?
Why hello there, child of previous Blinkery.
*pizzop*
Chickadee: Yay Expando-Mom! ++
Waxwing grew up! Worship her cuteness. WORSHIP IT.
Yes, even when she's covered in toilet water. WORSHIP IT.
Waxwing: You will use extra lotion.
Bef: There is no lotion, sweetie. Only powder.
Waxwing: You will invent lotion. Immediately.
Schnoz: Hey, Bef! I like you, but could I possibly talk to your young daughter whom I have never met but suddenly want to interact with?
Bef: Um, hell no.
Schnoz: But she has the first and foremost perspective on cookies and -
Bef: *click*
Bef: THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING TIME
kai. 8| I had literally nothing to do with the conception of Waxwing or this kid, but kai.
It's a girl, named Wren! Wrens are small and well-camouflaged, but have damn loud songs.
Bef: Oojy boojy boo~ - ! - ?! - Armando, could you hold her a moment?
Armando: No - must - smooth - wrinkles -
Yep, it's another one - a boy, named Jay! Blue jays are generally seen purely as the bully of birds. They do, however, have their own soft, low song, each has an individual voice, and they can even imitate human speech.
Armando, why...? Eh, fine. It's not like another half-alien would look out of place.
Armando: You'll love me, won't you, Waxwing?
Waxwing: YES YES NOW GIMME THE BOTTLE
Bef: So you see, it's really only a matter of rearranging the equation to simplify it to one variable, thus also making it solveable.
Chickadee: Thanks, Mom, but can we start with addition first?
Kid, this is not going to be one of those families with breastfeeding seven-year-olds. Go get some cookies or something.
Chickadee: ...and then, with minimal effort, I bounce around, flying easily through the air and into the lamp fixture!
Bef: How does she do it??
Armando! Such bad par -
Actually, come to think of it, 6 is about the right age to be asking those questions.
GO ARMANDO! Fair education before it's too late!
No. No, she isn't, you strange pedo man.
Okay, Armando's back to failing. All is well again.
Bef: Just relax and - no - sit! Sit sit sit!
Waxwing: If you'd taught me to talk, I could have told you that THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED.
Chickadee, of course, never fails at anything. Ever.
It's Birthday Night! First up is Wren!
Armando: Moar plox?
Then Waxwing, ratcheting up the adorable!
Chickadee grows up as well, in platinum, of course. Pointy chin and all.
And gets a makeover of sorts.
And then EVERYBODY wanted to play with Waxwing but no one was going to age up Jay for some reason.
Then Armando got him.
And held him un-aged for several hours.
And then he did! A muffin, n'est-ce pas?
Chickadee has become a wonderful role model, taking surprisingly after Armando.
Frighteningly.
Jay: Come onnn, Wren, I need to goooo!
Wren: My potty. Go 'way.
Wren: That's right, you're my potty, aren't you?
Jay: Just hold on, I'm gonna try something.
Wren: This... feels... so very wrong. 8|
Jay: No, this is how it should work.
Jay: Okay, yeah, you were right.
Wren: Let us never speak of this to anyone.
Chickadee: ...and that's why toys are stupid and they'll make you stupid.
Armando: Well disserted, Not My Child! But you're putting unbelievable concepts into Waxwing's head. Right, darling?
Waxwing: You're both insane.
Jay: Horsie! Horsie! Can has?
Waxwing: Oh, you like Mr. Gallopy?
Jay: Yes!
Waxwing: Well, you can't have him! He'll only make you even stupider!
Jay: Woe D,:
Mitch: Hello there, kiddo! Enjoy your food! Nope, totally fine for a six-year-old to sign a §650 grocery bill!
Bef: Go inside, Waxwing. Now.
Armando's kid, yup.
GOOO AWAAAY.
Chickadee has a massive ego - but for good reason.
Bef: Honey, have you ever thought about maybe trying for just one more kid?
Armando: Trying?
Poor Wren looks so worried. I think she knows more than she lets on.
You mood-swingy teenager, you.
Bef gets a more mature, motherly look.
While her daughter meets her ex-boyfriend.
Armando also gets a minor change of style.
Waxwing: But... but... I don't wanna go to the Science Facility! BAWWW
Bef: *using Armando as a puppet* It's all right, sweetums! You'll go and you'll have lots of FUN FUN FUN in the radiation chamber! Now, go get 'em!
Armando: My spine hurts 8D
Jay: I don't even get it! How are we ever supposed to use these things?
Wren: *worries*
Jay: It's madness! Like they never want us to escape!
Armando: Whee! Don't you love it when your mother kicks us out of the house?
Waxwing: WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL NOOOO (+500?)
Wren: Someday, dear brother... someday, we'll get out of this house and away from our crazy parents forever.
Jay: It's a deal!
D'awww.
At least Waxwing pays attention to the twins, even if half of it is to torment Jay.
Bef: Hmmm... That butter shouldn't have black and white hair... I'll have to try and tell the kids it's "blue butter."
Chickadee: Oh... good God...
Jay grows up well! He's rather adorable in a Jay way.
Trash compactor: *borks*
Wren, however, is a bit plain. And is never very happy.
D:
How will the family do living off Bef's modest $2400 a day? Can they suffer long days under their (step)father's well-intentioned but idiotic hands? Or will Jay and Wren's plans of escape come to fruition? All to be revealed in the next chapter of Another Blinkin' ISBI!
ISBI Stats:
Torch Holders: 1/20
Perma-platinum Sims: 1
Shrink Visits: 1
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Social Worker Visits: 0
Repo Man Visits: 0
Fires: 1
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 1
Fights: 0
Deaths: 0
Golden Tombstones/Death Count: 0/0
Max Career: 1
§100 000: 0
Happy 4/20, by the way, dudes.
I miss snow. Last time:
- Chickadee, daughter of neighbour Phil, joined the family.
- Bef met rich boy Armando.
- Armando moved in and got engaged to Bef, but rejected marriage.
- Chickadee was openly contemptuous of such fuckery.
- Bef and Armando fixed up enough to conceive a kid and get married.
And we left off with Bef in labour in her wedding dress.
It's a girl, named Waxwing! Cedar waxwings are known for sitting in a row on branches and passing a berry back and forth amongst themselves until one eats it.
Chickadee: Oh, well, that's just grand.
Armando: YES YES MY AWESOME GENES ARE PASSED ON WOO
Work Friend: Can I... Can I touch it?
Bef: No. My bb.
I'd be sketched out, but he's making such a fab gesture. He's no threat.
Armando: HA! Take that, Not My Child!
Chickadee: GAH!
Chickadee: I will find the deepest, darkest pit, fill it with the blood of everyone you ever loved (save Mom, of course), wind out your soul on a tuning fork and throw you in, damning you to drown in that pit... forever.
Armando: Haha! Oh, you! C'mon, toss it back to your ol' stepdad!
Meanwhile, Bef is left to do all the stuff that actually needs doing...
...including running the universe. She's almost at her LTW already.
Annnd there it is! First permaplat of the ISBI!
Also, fifth pop.
Armando: OH MY GOD! I bet it was Michelle! Bitch be smokin'!
Bef: You know, I support capital punishment for the use of truly terrible puns.
The Schnoz: Oh, me too, totally!
Bef: You're agreeing with everything I say, regardless of its ridiculosity?
Schnoz: Yes indeedy!
Bef: Are you that intent on getting in my pants?
Schnoz: Absolutely, ma'am!
Armando: I feel lonely with Bef at work and Dee at school. I wonder what could solve that?
Waxwing: HEEELP MEEE
Armando: I know! Money! Who needs family when you can buy your own?
Why hello there, child of previous Blinkery.
*pizzop*
Chickadee: Yay Expando-Mom! ++
Waxwing grew up! Worship her cuteness. WORSHIP IT.
Yes, even when she's covered in toilet water. WORSHIP IT.
Waxwing: You will use extra lotion.
Bef: There is no lotion, sweetie. Only powder.
Waxwing: You will invent lotion. Immediately.
Schnoz: Hey, Bef! I like you, but could I possibly talk to your young daughter whom I have never met but suddenly want to interact with?
Bef: Um, hell no.
Schnoz: But she has the first and foremost perspective on cookies and -
Bef: *click*
Bef: THIS IS THE LAST FUCKING TIME
kai. 8| I had literally nothing to do with the conception of Waxwing or this kid, but kai.
It's a girl, named Wren! Wrens are small and well-camouflaged, but have damn loud songs.
Bef: Oojy boojy boo~ - ! - ?! - Armando, could you hold her a moment?
Armando: No - must - smooth - wrinkles -
Yep, it's another one - a boy, named Jay! Blue jays are generally seen purely as the bully of birds. They do, however, have their own soft, low song, each has an individual voice, and they can even imitate human speech.
Armando, why...? Eh, fine. It's not like another half-alien would look out of place.
Armando: You'll love me, won't you, Waxwing?
Waxwing: YES YES NOW GIMME THE BOTTLE
Bef: So you see, it's really only a matter of rearranging the equation to simplify it to one variable, thus also making it solveable.
Chickadee: Thanks, Mom, but can we start with addition first?
Kid, this is not going to be one of those families with breastfeeding seven-year-olds. Go get some cookies or something.
Chickadee: ...and then, with minimal effort, I bounce around, flying easily through the air and into the lamp fixture!
Bef: How does she do it??
Armando! Such bad par -
Actually, come to think of it, 6 is about the right age to be asking those questions.
GO ARMANDO! Fair education before it's too late!
No. No, she isn't, you strange pedo man.
Okay, Armando's back to failing. All is well again.
Bef: Just relax and - no - sit! Sit sit sit!
Waxwing: If you'd taught me to talk, I could have told you that THIS IS NOT WHAT I NEED.
Chickadee, of course, never fails at anything. Ever.
It's Birthday Night! First up is Wren!
Armando: Moar plox?
Then Waxwing, ratcheting up the adorable!
Chickadee grows up as well, in platinum, of course. Pointy chin and all.
And gets a makeover of sorts.
And then EVERYBODY wanted to play with Waxwing but no one was going to age up Jay for some reason.
Then Armando got him.
And held him un-aged for several hours.
And then he did! A muffin, n'est-ce pas?
Chickadee has become a wonderful role model, taking surprisingly after Armando.
Frighteningly.
Jay: Come onnn, Wren, I need to goooo!
Wren: My potty. Go 'way.
Wren: That's right, you're my potty, aren't you?
Jay: Just hold on, I'm gonna try something.
Wren: This... feels... so very wrong. 8|
Jay: No, this is how it should work.
Jay: Okay, yeah, you were right.
Wren: Let us never speak of this to anyone.
Chickadee: ...and that's why toys are stupid and they'll make you stupid.
Armando: Well disserted, Not My Child! But you're putting unbelievable concepts into Waxwing's head. Right, darling?
Waxwing: You're both insane.
Jay: Horsie! Horsie! Can has?
Waxwing: Oh, you like Mr. Gallopy?
Jay: Yes!
Waxwing: Well, you can't have him! He'll only make you even stupider!
Jay: Woe D,:
Mitch: Hello there, kiddo! Enjoy your food! Nope, totally fine for a six-year-old to sign a §650 grocery bill!
Bef: Go inside, Waxwing. Now.
Armando's kid, yup.
GOOO AWAAAY.
Chickadee has a massive ego - but for good reason.
Bef: Honey, have you ever thought about maybe trying for just one more kid?
Armando: Trying?
Poor Wren looks so worried. I think she knows more than she lets on.
You mood-swingy teenager, you.
Bef gets a more mature, motherly look.
While her daughter meets her ex-boyfriend.
Armando also gets a minor change of style.
Waxwing: But... but... I don't wanna go to the Science Facility! BAWWW
Bef: *using Armando as a puppet* It's all right, sweetums! You'll go and you'll have lots of FUN FUN FUN in the radiation chamber! Now, go get 'em!
Armando: My spine hurts 8D
Jay: I don't even get it! How are we ever supposed to use these things?
Wren: *worries*
Jay: It's madness! Like they never want us to escape!
Armando: Whee! Don't you love it when your mother kicks us out of the house?
Waxwing: WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL WALL NOOOO (+500?)
Wren: Someday, dear brother... someday, we'll get out of this house and away from our crazy parents forever.
Jay: It's a deal!
D'awww.
At least Waxwing pays attention to the twins, even if half of it is to torment Jay.
Bef: Hmmm... That butter shouldn't have black and white hair... I'll have to try and tell the kids it's "blue butter."
Chickadee: Oh... good God...
Jay grows up well! He's rather adorable in a Jay way.
Trash compactor: *borks*
Wren, however, is a bit plain. And is never very happy.
D:
How will the family do living off Bef's modest $2400 a day? Can they suffer long days under their (step)father's well-intentioned but idiotic hands? Or will Jay and Wren's plans of escape come to fruition? All to be revealed in the next chapter of Another Blinkin' ISBI!
ISBI Stats:
Torch Holders: 1/20
Perma-platinum Sims: 1
Shrink Visits: 1
Social Bunny Visits: 1
Social Worker Visits: 0
Repo Man Visits: 0
Fires: 1
Self-Wettings: 3
Pass-Outs: 1
Fights: 0
Deaths: 0
Golden Tombstones/Death Count: 0/0
Max Career: 1
§100 000: 0
Happy 4/20, by the way, dudes.