A Whole Different Ungulate 2.0
1.0 - 1.1
Welcome back to A Whole Different Ungulate!
Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh!:
- Owen wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-ed Heather
- They got married
- Things were boring
-Owen knocked Heather up
And now, the thrilling continuation!
It's a boy! Welcome to the family, Adrian! He's got Owen's hair and Heather's eyes.
Owen, who only just woke up: HOO-RAH! YOU LOSE AGAIN, NATURAL SELECTION!
And with that in mind, he becomes a surprisingly competent father.
And then Addy demonstrates for Heather that he is immune to the laws of physics.
Adrian: *bottlefist*
Later, because their bank statements have so much red they look like Communist manifestos, I get
Heather into Politics for fewer hours and more pay.
And hire a nanny. INCOMING FAILURE
Heather: All right, Addy, you be nice for the lady, okay?
Adrian: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HERRR
Let's see.
-Stinky diaper.
-Smelly, bacteria-infested bottle.
-Nanny who thinks one will solve the other.
Sure.
Then Dad returns, freshly promoted again.
Owen: DAMN STRAIGHT BITCH WHO DA OFFICER??
Guy-dude: I don't know you.
His second impression isn't that much better.
Nanny: You must be Mr. Moose! C'mere!
Guy-dude: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU RAISIN-ESQUE SACK OF GROSS.
When Heather finally gets home, she brings enough spare change to buy a baby toy for Addy. Time
for your daily dose of cute:
With Adrian occupied, Owen and Heather finally get back to their old hobby.
Owen: One child just isn't enough, don't you think?
Heather: *busy developing uniform fetish*
Heather: WHAT'S THAT TEN KIDS OKAY LET'S GO
Owen: Wait, wut? *+*
(insert barking, laughing and other sexy noises)
Owen: C'mere, bb.
Adrian: OH SHET
Owen: Better than you expected?
Adrian: By a margin.
Meet Zappa, the new cutest member of the household.
Owen agrees. So much for conscientious fathering.
(If I'm ever caught making a face like that, it probably means something has gone terribly wrong
and I need to be trampled by wombats.)
Heather: PROFESSOR I HAVE A QUESTION
Heather: DOES THIS BABBY MAKE ME LOOK FAT
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time. Time to see the true face of the firstborn.
SPAM-WORTHY
Your little bro/sis is gonna have a tough row to hoe, kid.
Fetus: YOU'RE FUCKING ON *expandtastic*
(Yep, that's an extension you see back there. Actual kitchen win.)
Addy is suddenly faced with a choice that may change the course of his life forever: charisma,
logic or creativity?
You pick the least practical one? Sure. Not a problem. No, I'm not disappointed.
Heather: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS GAAAS
Introducing Margaret, with Heather's hair and Owen's eyes!
Wait - twins? Well, sure, okay. Here's James, with all Owen's genetics!
Triplets?! Damn, this is gonna be... fun. Yeah. Happy fun times. Meet Tyler, with all of Heather's
genetics! There, a nice, balanced family. *sigh of relief*
FFFFFFUUUU - uh - Francisca! With Owen's genetics.
And they can't afford enough cribs.
Heather: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO NOT PEE WHILE YOU'RE IN LABOUR??
Can the Mooses survive poverty and avoid a Social Worker visit?
Can Adrian fend off his new siblings with cuteness alone?
Will this Legacy go on, or will someone important starve to death before it can?
Will you pee yourself or will they pee themselves next time on...
A Whole Different Ungulate 2.1: You'd Think They'd Learn!
Note: I really, really hate comment begging, but I'm still settling into how I'm going to do this legacy, and I'd appreciate feedback. Even a "That was funny!" or "Your font looks odd." would let me know that a) someone's reading it and b) it's not a completely unsalvageable fuckup.
Welcome back to A Whole Different Ungulate!
Previously on Yu-Gi-Oh!:
- Owen wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am-ed Heather
- They got married
- Things were boring
-Owen knocked Heather up
And now, the thrilling continuation!
It's a boy! Welcome to the family, Adrian! He's got Owen's hair and Heather's eyes.
Owen, who only just woke up: HOO-RAH! YOU LOSE AGAIN, NATURAL SELECTION!
And with that in mind, he becomes a surprisingly competent father.
And then Addy demonstrates for Heather that he is immune to the laws of physics.
Adrian: *bottlefist*
Later, because their bank statements have so much red they look like Communist manifestos, I get
Heather into Politics for fewer hours and more pay.
And hire a nanny. INCOMING FAILURE
Heather: All right, Addy, you be nice for the lady, okay?
Adrian: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HERRR
Let's see.
-Stinky diaper.
-Smelly, bacteria-infested bottle.
-Nanny who thinks one will solve the other.
Sure.
Then Dad returns, freshly promoted again.
Owen: DAMN STRAIGHT BITCH WHO DA OFFICER??
Guy-dude: I don't know you.
His second impression isn't that much better.
Nanny: You must be Mr. Moose! C'mere!
Guy-dude: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU RAISIN-ESQUE SACK OF GROSS.
When Heather finally gets home, she brings enough spare change to buy a baby toy for Addy. Time
for your daily dose of cute:
With Adrian occupied, Owen and Heather finally get back to their old hobby.
Owen: One child just isn't enough, don't you think?
Heather: *busy developing uniform fetish*
Heather: WHAT'S THAT TEN KIDS OKAY LET'S GO
Owen: Wait, wut? *+*
(insert barking, laughing and other sexy noises)
Owen: C'mere, bb.
Adrian: OH SHET
Owen: Better than you expected?
Adrian: By a margin.
Meet Zappa, the new cutest member of the household.
Owen agrees. So much for conscientious fathering.
(If I'm ever caught making a face like that, it probably means something has gone terribly wrong
and I need to be trampled by wombats.)
Heather: PROFESSOR I HAVE A QUESTION
Heather: DOES THIS BABBY MAKE ME LOOK FAT
And now, ladies and gentlemen, it is time. Time to see the true face of the firstborn.
SPAM-WORTHY
Your little bro/sis is gonna have a tough row to hoe, kid.
Fetus: YOU'RE FUCKING ON *expandtastic*
(Yep, that's an extension you see back there. Actual kitchen win.)
Addy is suddenly faced with a choice that may change the course of his life forever: charisma,
logic or creativity?
You pick the least practical one? Sure. Not a problem. No, I'm not disappointed.
Heather: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS GAAAS
Introducing Margaret, with Heather's hair and Owen's eyes!
Wait - twins? Well, sure, okay. Here's James, with all Owen's genetics!
Triplets?! Damn, this is gonna be... fun. Yeah. Happy fun times. Meet Tyler, with all of Heather's
genetics! There, a nice, balanced family. *sigh of relief*
FFFFFFUUUU - uh - Francisca! With Owen's genetics.
And they can't afford enough cribs.
Heather: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO NOT PEE WHILE YOU'RE IN LABOUR??
Can the Mooses survive poverty and avoid a Social Worker visit?
Can Adrian fend off his new siblings with cuteness alone?
Will this Legacy go on, or will someone important starve to death before it can?
Will you pee yourself or will they pee themselves next time on...
A Whole Different Ungulate 2.1: You'd Think They'd Learn!
Note: I really, really hate comment begging, but I'm still settling into how I'm going to do this legacy, and I'd appreciate feedback. Even a "That was funny!" or "Your font looks odd." would let me know that a) someone's reading it and b) it's not a completely unsalvageable fuckup.