TM 254--What was the longest day of your life?
(Warning for angst and sadness)
The day his nephew was born, not quite two years ago now, had been the shortest. No matter what the clock said, it had sped past.
Andrea had initially wanted to be delivered at home. Her doctor had adamantly vetoed that particular idea when they realized--a week after they confirmed that she was pregnant--that she had also relapsed. She'd been in remission. Ryan had been hoping and praying that she'd make it past the five-year mark, as he had in his struggle with leukemia
when they were kids.
He thinks now that he should have remembered: prayers are always answered, but that doesn't mean the answer will be what you expected.
She refused treatment. She'd done enough research by then to understand that radiation and chemotherapy would make it difficult, if not impossible, for her to carry the baby to term.
Ryan hadn't known what advice to give her, what he'd say if she asked him what he thought she should do. He understood how she felt. Yet the idea of losing her nearly made him break
apart.
A selfish part of him is still grateful that she never did ask.
Then, in the middle of a chilly autumn morning, there was a hospital visit, and the first cry of a very energetic infant. He remembers thinking that Jamie, James Nicholas Bullock, seemed distinctly unimpressed with the hospital room, and definitely was not a fan of being weighed and measured. The nurses had just laughed. "Vocal little guy, isn't he?"
Then, Ryan was cuddling his nephew, murmuring softly to him. He couldn't seem to stop grinning, despite the worries. Now wasn't a moment for worry, but to rejoice.
He was shocked, upon leaving the room, to see that it was nearly sunset. Where had the time gone? They had just gotten there!
Andi started treatments as soon as could be done, post-delivery. The cancer had already had months to grow. They didn't dare hold off any longer.
For a while, it seemed to work. She claimed she felt better. Ryan hesitated over moving away from her and their parents when the Independence Theater's director made him an offer, but Andi urged him to go.
Then, a month and a half past...
She'd been well enough to travel. She and Jamie had come to the "Big Apple" to spend a week or two with "Jamie's favorite unca Rye"-- "I'm his only uncle, Andi. It's not that hard a competition...laughing"
A phone call at "stupid a.m., on the day she was due to arrive, had summoned him to the police station. She'd been involved in a car crash. No one was hurt. The cops, inexplicably, had suspected that she was either intoxicated or taking drugs while she was driving. They mentioned odd behavior and seeming disorientation.
He'd been silently appalled at seeing her. She was thin to the point of being underweight,
and pale...He'd been away long enough to notice changes that had snuck up on everyone else gradually, a tiny, deadly bit at a time.
He'd insisted that she see a doctor while in New York. Ryan had been afraid that if he didn't insist, she would simply go home and continue pretending that she was fine.
Glioblastoma. Metastases . Ugly, confusing words, but they spelled out an uglier truth.
The treatments were failing.
The oncologist had finally said that if Andi wished to discontinue aggressive therapy, it might be the better choice for her to do so, in favor of palliative measures to ease the worst symptoms.
Ryan kept his face carefully blank. Jamie was sitting on his lap, while Andrya and the doctor talked. He hugged his nephew, not sure what to say.
He turned, and looked out the window. The sun was shining directly overhead.
It hadn't been nearly as long as it felt.
A few hours? How could that be all?
He made himself listen when she asked him not to tell their parents yet, and when she asked him to take official custody of her son. The accident had driven home the point that she couldn't look after a baby alone any longer, for however long she had left with him.
He said "yes".
He'd cry, and hurt, and start doing what he had to to make the apartment into a home for
him and Jamie both...
Tomorrow.
Muse: Ryan Bullock
Fandom: OC
Word count: a LOT
The day his nephew was born, not quite two years ago now, had been the shortest. No matter what the clock said, it had sped past.
Andrea had initially wanted to be delivered at home. Her doctor had adamantly vetoed that particular idea when they realized--a week after they confirmed that she was pregnant--that she had also relapsed. She'd been in remission. Ryan had been hoping and praying that she'd make it past the five-year mark, as he had in his struggle with leukemia
when they were kids.
He thinks now that he should have remembered: prayers are always answered, but that doesn't mean the answer will be what you expected.
She refused treatment. She'd done enough research by then to understand that radiation and chemotherapy would make it difficult, if not impossible, for her to carry the baby to term.
Ryan hadn't known what advice to give her, what he'd say if she asked him what he thought she should do. He understood how she felt. Yet the idea of losing her nearly made him break
apart.
A selfish part of him is still grateful that she never did ask.
Then, in the middle of a chilly autumn morning, there was a hospital visit, and the first cry of a very energetic infant. He remembers thinking that Jamie, James Nicholas Bullock, seemed distinctly unimpressed with the hospital room, and definitely was not a fan of being weighed and measured. The nurses had just laughed. "Vocal little guy, isn't he?"
Then, Ryan was cuddling his nephew, murmuring softly to him. He couldn't seem to stop grinning, despite the worries. Now wasn't a moment for worry, but to rejoice.
He was shocked, upon leaving the room, to see that it was nearly sunset. Where had the time gone? They had just gotten there!
Andi started treatments as soon as could be done, post-delivery. The cancer had already had months to grow. They didn't dare hold off any longer.
For a while, it seemed to work. She claimed she felt better. Ryan hesitated over moving away from her and their parents when the Independence Theater's director made him an offer, but Andi urged him to go.
Then, a month and a half past...
She'd been well enough to travel. She and Jamie had come to the "Big Apple" to spend a week or two with "Jamie's favorite unca Rye"-- "I'm his only uncle, Andi. It's not that hard a competition...laughing"
A phone call at "stupid a.m., on the day she was due to arrive, had summoned him to the police station. She'd been involved in a car crash. No one was hurt. The cops, inexplicably, had suspected that she was either intoxicated or taking drugs while she was driving. They mentioned odd behavior and seeming disorientation.
He'd been silently appalled at seeing her. She was thin to the point of being underweight,
and pale...He'd been away long enough to notice changes that had snuck up on everyone else gradually, a tiny, deadly bit at a time.
He'd insisted that she see a doctor while in New York. Ryan had been afraid that if he didn't insist, she would simply go home and continue pretending that she was fine.
Glioblastoma. Metastases . Ugly, confusing words, but they spelled out an uglier truth.
The treatments were failing.
The oncologist had finally said that if Andi wished to discontinue aggressive therapy, it might be the better choice for her to do so, in favor of palliative measures to ease the worst symptoms.
Ryan kept his face carefully blank. Jamie was sitting on his lap, while Andrya and the doctor talked. He hugged his nephew, not sure what to say.
He turned, and looked out the window. The sun was shining directly overhead.
It hadn't been nearly as long as it felt.
A few hours? How could that be all?
He made himself listen when she asked him not to tell their parents yet, and when she asked him to take official custody of her son. The accident had driven home the point that she couldn't look after a baby alone any longer, for however long she had left with him.
He said "yes".
He'd cry, and hurt, and start doing what he had to to make the apartment into a home for
him and Jamie both...
Tomorrow.
Muse: Ryan Bullock
Fandom: OC
Word count: a LOT