Parks Fic: Not That Sneaky (2/7)
Title: Not That Sneaky
Pairing: Ben/Leslie, ensemble
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Originally posted on the kinkmeme: 5 times Ben and Leslie get caught/interrupted during sex.
Part One
"Honey?"
April squirms out from under Ben's bed, but doesn't glance at Andy as she crosses the room and begins to open the dresser drawers. She doesn't need to look at her husband to know that he's lingering in the doorway, torn between his curiosity and his unwarranted respect of Ben's privacy ever since they made that weird pact on Halloween. As if Ben can dictate that his room is off-limits.
"Babe, we promised we wouldn't go into Ben's room--"
"You promised," clarifies April. She finds Ben's underwear drawer, but can't quite bring herself to touch it. "Besides," she lies, "that promise only counts if Ben's actually here."
"Really?"
"Yes. Get in here and help me."
Andy hesitates, she can tell he doesn't really believe her, but curiosity is definitely winning out, and then he ducks down and stealthily rolls into the room. "What are we doing?" he asks, popping up next to her and immediately pawing through the neatly stacked boxers. "Did Ben steal something? Oh--did he take your underwear?"
"What? No, Andy, we're here to steal from him."
"Oh. Really? 'Cause I think that's what Ben meant when he asked us to respect his space."
April rolls her eyes. Ben can demand respect all he wants, but he should know better than to expect to receive it. Especially when he does things like promise to bring home food and then doesn't even bother to come home. Especially when, in the whole time she has lived with Ben, he only stayed out all night when he was with Leslie, and he and Leslie have obviously broken up. And if he's not with her, then where the hell has he been all night?
Sad Ben is depressing enough. She doesn't think she can deal with sad Leslie, too. And Leslie is definitely going to be sad if Ben's out fucking someone else.
So the whole respect thing is really overrated.
"What are we looking for anyway?"
"His bubble bath," says April. "He's been hiding it ever since I dumped it out all over his clean laundry that one time."
"He has been spending a lot of time in the bath lately."
"See. We're helping."
Andy accepts this unconditionally, and his enthusiasm skyrockets. He heads to the closet and beings rummaging around, leaving April to sort through the rest of the dresser drawers. She's digging through an astonishingly large collection of plaid pajama pants when she hears the front door open, and yeah, that is definitely Ben's voice and he is definitely not alone. Without thinking, she slams the drawer shut, hurries to the closet and steps inside, pushing Andy back and shutting the door behind them.
"Babe?"
"Shh!"
Ben's laughing--April can't remember the last time she heard him laugh--but she barely has time to process this before the bedroom door swings open and Ben backs into the room, his arms wrapped around someone, and damn, that's Leslie.
Okay. So apparently that's happening again. Not that she's going to admit that she's relieved. Or happy. Or anything.
Behind her, Andy's eyes go wide and he gasps, and April lightly presses her hand over his mouth. The slats in the closet door offer limited visibility, but it's enough that April can make out Ben's and Leslie's equally large and ridiculous grins as they enter the room.
Leslie sits down on the bed, resting her weight on her hands as Ben leans down to press a kiss to the side of her mouth. "I'll just grab some clothes and we can get out of here," Ben mumbles. He presses his lips to Leslie's a few more times and then stands up to move to his dresser. She and Andy are definitely a minute away from getting caught, and April grins wickedly, already anticipating the way Ben is going to scream when he finds them hiding in the closet.
"Honey." Andy's lips tickle her palm and she moves her hand from his mouth. "I found the bubble bath!"
April takes it and tucks the bottle into Andy's pocket. This is working out even better than she expected.
"You know," Leslie says, drawing April's attention back to what's happening beyond the closet door, "I'm a little disappointed April and Andy aren't here."
"Well, it's certainly odd, given that it's before noon on a Saturday."
"I just really want to tell everyone. No more sneaking around, no more secrets..." Ben turns to face her again, an almost sickeningly sweet look on his face--way worse than the looks he already gives Leslie in public. "I finally get to tell the whole world that I have the best boyfriend in the universe--"
Ben cuts her off with another kiss, this one longer and deeper than before. His hand moves to frame Leslie's face, brushing aside her curls, and Leslie hums warmly. "You know," Ben says, quietly enough that April has to strain to hear him over Andy's breathing, "there are some advantages to being alone here."
"Are there?"
"Mmm-hmm." Ben pushes her back into the bed and continues to press insistent kisses against Leslie's lips. His hand skates up Leslie's side, dragging her shirt up as he goes, and it's only then that April is shaken enough to realize what's actually about to happen. For some reason, it's taking an unnaturally long time for the dots to connect, to comprehend that Ben and Leslie, two people whose sexuality has been limited to moony, longing looks around the office, are about to have sex. And yeah, maybe it was obvious to anyone with eyes that they were sneaking around last spring, but the idea of Ben and Leslie having sex and the reality of it are two extremely different things.
But she and Andy are going to witness the live show unless they do something now.
Ben's kissing a path up Leslie's stomach to her breasts as Leslie tugs her sweater off and tosses it across the room. Her hands land in his hair, tugging until he works his way back to her mouth. Leslie toes off her shoes and kicks them over the side of the bed, and then she sighs. Everything about them is unhurried; each kiss is long and lingering, each touch soft and slow. And still, there is something passionate, almost electric, between them, reaching out and enveloping the room and making it impossible to look away. Without thinking, April moves imperceptibly closer to the door and finds herself straining to make out the more minute details.
Leslie whimpers as Ben pulls away, grazing his nose against hers and over her cheek before dropping his forehead to hers. "I want to kiss you," he murmurs against Leslie's skin, a fragment of thought kissed by powerful adoration; the words, more innocuous than their actions, make April blush. "Every inch of you...Every spot I missed when we weren't together..."
Leslie lifts her hands to Ben's cheeks and runs her thumbs over his skin. They're staring at one another so nakedly that it physically hurts to watch, but April can't look away. She expects Leslie to say something, to return the sentiment, to wallow in Ben's obvious longing for her. Instead, she just stares at him and then slowly, brazenly grinds her pelvis against Ben's thigh.
"Fuck," Ben hisses, and suddenly, everything seems to speed up. Ben tugs his shirt off and Leslie begins to tear at his pants, helping him wriggle them down until he can kick them off. Immediately, he buries his face in Leslie's breasts, nudging the cup of her bra out of the way and leaving Leslie to actually remove the garment. It hits the closet door as Leslie's throws it aside, and April jolts, torn from her reverie.
This is ridiculous. Ridiculous that Ben is licking and kissing and nipping at Leslie's breasts like a man unhinged. Ridiculous that Leslie is panting and gasping and moaning as her back arches off of the bed. Ridiculous that this is Ben and Leslie, who are pretty much the antithesis of anyone's idea of hot sex, and yet April has to physically ball her hands into fists to keep from rubbing her clit. Unconsciously, she leans back against Andy and feels his hand settle on her hip, and she wonders what would happen if she dragged his hand forward, forced him to put pressure right where she needs it the most.
"Babe," Andy hisses, and April nods, anticipating that he feels this--whatever this feeling is--too. She wants him to rip open her pants, to work his hand into her underwear the way Ben is working his hand into Leslie's, his fingers flexing as Leslie reaches down to grip his ass. She fumbles for Andy's hand, ready to just give in, even if she can't bring herself to ask for it, when Andy continues, "Don't freak out, but there's a spider in your hair--"
"Oh my god!" April shrieks, batting at her hair, shaking her head wildly. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" She throws open the closet door and stumbles out, still shrieking (vaguely hearing but not really registering Leslie's scream and Ben's violent cursing) and promptly tripping over Leslie's abandoned sneakers. She ungracefully falls onto the bed, still swatting at her hair, barely aware that she's practically on top of Leslie and Ben until her arm brushes over Ben's hard on and--"Oh my god!" she groans, horrified in an entirely different way. Ben jerks away from her as though she's burned him--yeah, like he's the one who's disgusted--and April rolls off of the bed, scrambling backward until she runs into Andy's legs.
"What the hell! What the hell are you doing in my closet?"
April barely hears him. "Did I get it? Andy! Andy! Is it dead? Did I get it?"
"I smushed it," says Andy, a proud note in his voice that would be comical to anyone else in the world. For April, the gratitude and relief she feels is instantaneous.
And, she notes, glancing back at the bed, short-lived.
Ben's face is an ambivalent mix of anger, disgust and fear, which would be hilarious under any other circumstances. Leslie looks shocked, but slightly more amused; she's moved to sit cross-legged on the bed, hugging a pillow to her chest and running a soothing hand over Ben's shoulder. Like he's the one who's traumatized.
God.
"April. Andy," Ben says in that stupidly condescending, pragmatic way he has. "Would you like to explain what the fuck you were doing in my closet?"
"It was an accident."
"An accident?" Ben's eyebrows are doing that stupid thing they do when he's being sarcastic; Andy, of course, has no idea.
"Yeah. Dude, we were not expecting you to walk in, let alone walk in with Leslie and start doing that. Nice job, by the way. I told you it would happen!" Andy holds out his palm for a high five, but when Ben doesn't return the gesture, he scratches the back of his head and shifts his weight awkwardly. Ben's still glaring, and, for the first time in her life, April doesn't find the uncomfortable silence comforting. In fact, she kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow her, because she's pretty sure she's still flushed and her panties are soaked and it feels patently obvious that she was getting off on Ben and Leslie doing sex stuff, which is just...
No.
Unsurprisingly, Leslie is the one who sidesteps the tension. And god, only Leslie would fucking ignore that she just got caught in the middle of sex. Or caught about to have sex. Whatever. "You know, April, I'm sure Ann would be happy to help with your arachnophob--"
"No."
Before Leslie can insist--or further imply that anyone else will hear about this ever--April gets to her feet and stomps out of the room. She's pretty sure she's going to have to shower or shave her head or maybe both.
And somehow, she thinks, slamming her bedroom door shut and working her hand down her pants, groaning as her fingers finally find her clit, she's going to have to find a chance to spy on them again.
Part Two