Neophobia : Fear of the New
Neophobia : Fear of the New | Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
PG | Friendship, Romance, Fluff ?
20. You stare at the calendar in front of you, the number 20 printed in plain black ink just beside the number 21. Of course they’re beside each other. Of course 21 comes right after 20. And June comes right after May. It’s already June and your calendar still beams May 20. You knew it’s a bad idea to get a daily calendar instead of those normal ones, but you were never the one who settles on something normal.
It took you more than an hour to find your missing phone. Well, it went missing just like that and turned out to be just under your bed. You know there isn’t really something important in there, a message or call or something. It’s just a habit, something you’ve grown accustomed to. You don’t use it but you know it’s just there and will be there when you’ll need it.
Something constant. You want something constant in your life other than change itself. Changing the dates on the calendar every day, waking up at 6:30 in the morning, cooking breakfast, getting ready for the day. Something constant, just like that. But those habits are not enough. Besides, what good can they do? It’s just something born out of habit and the needs of a person. Surely you would do that, simply because you need to.
You check your phone, expecting a message of some sort from someone kinda special but you find none. Not even a hoax message or anything. You can feel your mood dampen a little. Kibum has always, always, for the past five years greeted you a month early for your birthday. He always wants to be the first, but he’s busy now isn’t he. He’s a rising star and you’re still the lame writer that you were. You think about how many beautiful people has he already met, worked with, does he have a new best friend now? You shake your head at the thought and tell yourself that if there’s one thing that’s as constant as change, it will be friendship. But you fail to keep it at heart because one moment you find yourself buying a new phone and changing your old number.
“Ryeowook-ssi, I need this month’s issue now.” Leeteuk, your editor told you that night when he came over with the reason of not being able to contact you. And yeah, you changed your digits.
“Sorry hyung, I got a new number and I think I forgot to call you.” You said standing up from the couch and smiling down at him on your way to your office room to get the article. It’s something new again. Working for a magazine when all your life, or what you call your life, you’ve been writing only books. It needs to be less wordy but more detailed, something objective, free of judgment and prejudice, a total opposite of what you’ve lived for. At times it makes you want to apply for a transfer to the editorial section.
“You’ve had that number for years now, or what, more than a decade? Why a sudden change?” Leeteuk hollered by the stairs as he watches you enter your office room and you cringe at the sound of that. Change?
“It’s not really sudden… Well, yeah it is, but… I… I just felt like I need to.” Your frown is visible when you get back at the living room and the elder just laughed at you. He’s been your editor ever since you’ve started writing, and you smile at the thought. It was even before you had your own apartment, before you can pay your own school fees. When was that again, during middle school? You’ve been together almost half of your life, and just like how you changed your phone, just like how you shifted jobs, just like how you hated it, change is inevitable.
“I’ll come over tomorrow and I’ll be bringing your new partner, I hope you don’t mind.” He asked you and sighed when you just looked at him. “He’s just a year younger than you but he’s superb. A child genius I can say, well they all say.” He laughs his high pitched laugh and you found yourself pouting. “I bet he’ll be a better partner than I am.”
“How can that be hyung?!” You whine and Leeteuk starts laughing again. “He’s younger, and a genius? I don’t need a genius. I need someone who can do his job properly. Someone like you. I don’t need someone to babysit.” You puffed your cheeks and a frown became visible in your forehead as Leeteuk handed you a file containing your new editor’s profile.
“Change is good.” He told you while drinking from the bottle of soju he brought with him when he came over.
“Yeah, but I don’t want it.” You retorted back and both of you fell silent for minutes. You talked about everything, a normal night when one feels empty, a bit sad. But it’s all normal, besides, change is inevitable.
You stay up even before Leeteuk left, drinking the soju you keep inside your fridge because Leeteuk always bring more than what you both consume. It’s like he knows you will need it some other time. You sigh and stare at your blur reflection on the black tv screen. What’s good with change? Is it good that you lost two great friends in a day? You hate the thought, so you grabbed your phone and punched in Kibum’s number sending him a message that you changed yours.
But you got no reply. So you just went on with drinking your soju until you passed out on the living room that night.
There was light, and there’s the massive darkness that surrounds the light, and then there’s pain. And then there’s warmth.
You can feel your head throbbing in your sleep, maybe you drank a lot more than what you’re used to, and hangover is something expected because of that. Well, maybe something you never expected because you know you ran out of medicines months ago, so you turned to your right and was a bit surprised when your face came in contact with something warm and soft, it could have been just a pillow, or the huge giraffe plushy Leeteuk got you for your last birthday, but then that something warm yelped, you know it’s not the giraffe or the pillow. Pillows don’t yelp.
You tried to open your eyes but as you do so, a blinding light assaulted your eyes forcing them to shut tight again. “Turn off the lights” you hissed and you can feel someone stiffen beside you.
“I-I will. Just… get off of me first.” A low gentle voice said, then warm hands are on your head lifting it slowly as the man get off the couch. And then it you just realized that you’re leaning on his thighs, he has warm hands and soft velvety voice, and he’s someone you don’t know.
“Who are you?” You whispered, because you know from experience that it’s better to stay calm when something’s drilling your skull.
“Cho Kyuhyun.” The soft voice said and you heard a click from the other side of the room, meaning it’s safe to open your eyes now, but when you did, you saw more than just a blinding light, a guy, this Cho Kyuhyun hovering over you with a cute frown on his face. You can feel your blood rushing to your cheeks and to your head which made your head hurt as hell, so you just stared, and winced a little, and stared more. “Here,” He said softly and one second, your head is again leaning on his thighs as his long warm fingers danced around your forehead pressing and tapping a comfortable rhythm, making your headache more bearable.
“Why are you here Cho Kyuhyun-ssi, and where is Leeteuk hyung?” You whispered and there’s a slight shifting from the person beside you, a little careful and limited because surely he understands how it feels when you have hangover.
“Leeteuk-ssi sent me here, he said he can’t accompany me because of the meeting of the heads, then he gave me your number, address and a spare key. I-I tried to call you but you’re not answering and I got worried so I let myself in. I saw you sprawled on the floor and there are bottles around you so I assumed you’re just too… drunk last night… or something” Kyuhyun said, lowering his voice a little more to not aggravate your headache, and you appreciate that, but his voice is just too beautiful it sounds like a classic melody to your ears, and you find yourself drifting off to sleep.
“Just so you know, Kyuhyun-ssi. I don’t let just anyone enter my house and touch me like this. I don’t even know you, but since you’re already here, I guess I don’t have a choice.” You whispered before falling asleep again.
You don’t know why you said that, clearly you’re not as drunk as the night before and not as sober as you are now, but your headache now’s just a tiny prickling pain in your skull and the only problem you have is you feel so dirty and you stink of alcohol and what’s more is that how are you going to bathe when someone’s arms is draped over your torso. Now, how are you going to get up without waking him up?
It shouldn’t be your problem, who the hell is this man named Cho Kyuhyun who is just a step away from being a stranger, well he was a stranger just hours ago but you just let him into your life. You glance up at him and from your position you can clearly see his facial features. Beautiful. Just beautiful, in a handsomely awesome way. His head hangs bowed inches above yours and a smile creeps on your lips. You wonder how this beautiful stranger took your words earlier.
And then an alarm went off, Kyuhyun’s head fell forward, and the next thing you know something heavy and soft and warm is on your lips, but it’s painful. And when you learned of what it is, it became beautifully painful. You tilted your head a bit to the side and then huge black eyes are staring at you.
“Get off” You whispered against his lips and he came stumbling out of the couch bringing you to roll down on the floor.
“I swear I was just… I didn’t know I fell asleep.” Kyuhyun mumbles to himself while unconsciously touching his lips. And you couldn’t help but groan at the alarm on your phone because seriously it’s annoying. He must have heard you so he took your phone from the table and turned the alarm off.
In normal circumstances you would have yelled at him for touching your things, your phone specifically which is supposedly a personal thing. But you convince yourself that this is not normal because you are not getting angry. Maybe because of your headache, yes. Headache.
Change is good. You can hear Leeteuk’s voice inside your head. How is this good? Because of a stupid headache everything went crazy. Some stranger just barged into your house, and you even slept beside him, touched your personal things, you even shared a kiss, and now you’re sharing a meal with him.
“We graduated from the same university.” He told you over dinner and you learned that he’s the genius from the lower year who skipped first year in the university ending up as the same year as you. You never really cared who that boy was. Just some genius, there are tons of geniuses, but then you never really cared about everybody in the first place.
“So you were that genius guy.” You said passively not noticing the frown on the younger’s face.
“I like your books.” He said and you smile at him, you wonder though what made him shift his gaze away with a visible tint of pink on his cheeks.
“What are you thinking?” You blurted out suddenly and he just stared at you. “Oh. Sorry, don’t feel obliged to answer that. I wasn’t really thinking, myself when I said that.”
“You have a beautiful smile.” He whispered, causing your movements to halt halfway in eating. “I was thinking, I never saw you smile when we were in the university when I’ve stalked you for so long. It’s the first time, and just like what I’ve imagine, you really do have a beautiful smile.”
You’re lost for words, and really how do you react to that? No one’s really that confident in expressing what they’re thinking just like this guy. He’s a first.
“Do you have to be so blunt about stalking me? Maybe you’re a good stalker, I never really noticed.” You told him but he just kept quiet, and when you turned at him, he’s smiling fondly at you. And you can’t help but think of how beautiful he is.
“You never really cared about other people back then, or maybe ‘til now.” He said and maybe your shocked expression gave your thoughts away so he continued. “You never really cared about anyone other than the grey kitten under the tree at the back of the library.”
“I don’t really have anyone to care about either. People come and go, I lose people in an everyday basis I got used to it. Just another constant in my life. I lost my best friend and Leeteuk hyung just yesterday, and I found you today. I wonder what will happen next.” You told him with a soft voice and you fell in silence for the rest of the day until you found out that Leeteuk ordered him to stay at your place. For how long, he doesn’t even have any idea.
“The spare room’s the one with the white door on the left and the rest room is at the end of the corridor.” You told him tiredly before going inside your room. You hate changes, and you wonder why now of all times, change is being so generous to you. It’s something you, and you can feel control slipping off the tips of your finger. It’s something new, but you let it be.
You stopped trying to be in control.
“Hyung, hyung.” You heard someone call from your right but you refuse to open your eyes. “Hyung…” another call and then a weight pressed at the right side of your bed. “Hyung, wake up.”
“Kyuhyun what is your problem now?” You hissed still refusing to open your eyes. It’s been a month since Kyuhyun went in to live with you, and it’s not that pleasant because the little devil is a pain in the ass, though you can admit, it’s not half bad either.
“Hyung, I’m hungry.” Kyuhyun whispered and you’re positive he’s now lying beside you on your bed.
“Cereals?” You whispered back and you can hear the pout in his voice when he said ‘no’. You whine while forcing your eyes to open and you once again woke up to a sight of a beautiful man beside you, which is in fact not a bad thing either. You let Kyuhyun pull you up knowing your kitchen, rather, your whole house will be in danger if you let him cook food for himself again.
But remembering that time doesn’t even bring a frown to your face. You scolded him so early that morning but ended up smiling like a lunatic when you saw a poor excuse of a cake inside the fridge. Well it turned out to be edible and the only thing Kyuhyun managed to get right, and knowing that that’s his fifth try, isn’t bad at all. And that was the morning of your birthday.
“You should stop acting like a baby and let me sleep more. I just finished the new book’s last volume just a while ago.” You told him placing a plate of simple breakfast in front of him and sitting at the chair across.
“I don’t know how to cook. And I’ve been eating cereals ever since the you locked yourself inside your office. I need real food, hyung.” He said digging into the plate. “Why don’t you sleep now? I can eat by myself you know.” He said but clearly he doesn’t mind you staring at him.
You don’t know where it started, and he just called you hyung. You remember not getting mad when he went inside your house for the first time, merely a stranger and even massaged your forehead. He turned off the alarm on your phone, and started to live with you. It’s not something that happens on a daily basis and you’re feeling like you’re starting to lose control of everything, but you didn’t do anything. Because it feels right.
One day Kyuhyun started to just barge into your room, and you don’t even remember when. The next day you remember not closing the door anymore.
As days went by he was jumping on your bed, then lying there beside you and poking your nose. Oftentimes he ends up sleeping beside you instead of doing his job of waking you up. If it’s another person it would have been uncomfortable and you could have gotten mad.
So maybe he’s not just another person, because you feel comfortable. It feels right, so you just let everything happen. Besides, it’s Kyuhyun, and it feels right. For the first time you feel happy not being in control.
“Hyung stop staring at me.” He snapped at you but you just continued staring. It’s one thing you realize that you’re constantly doing despite all the constant changes and surprises in your life now. Just staring, and staring some more.
He pulled you up on your feet and started dragging you up to your room muttering something like ‘let’s get you back to sleep’.
“Kyuhyun-ah.” You called him when he’s about to leave the room and he turned the lights off before turning to look at you. “Sing me a song. I can’t sleep.” You said despite the yawn that escaped your mouth after that, but he just laughed that hearty laugh and you moved a bit to the side as he leaped onto your bed before singing a song which lulled you to your dreamland.
It’s been so long since you’ve slept like a log and you wonder how many hours have you slept already. You turned to your right and felt someone’s arms draped around you. You smile thinking how Kyuhyun ended up sleeping on your bed again this time but when you placed your arm around him, a crashing sound woke you up and you jolted up the bed, your eyes narrowing and trying to find light. Then it landed on the only light source in your room now, the open door with a broken cup of coffee and a silver tray on the floor. You frowned, thinking who the other person was.
“Who is that?” A husky low voice whispered from behind you and you fell off the bed. It’s not Kyuhyun.
“What the hell Kibum!” You screamed at him but he just laughed at you. “Why are you here? And in my room and of all places, on my bed?”
“My room is already taken. And I guess I scared your little boyfriend away.” He said before pulling the covers over his head. And you remember that Kibum has a spare key and he comes over whenever he has free time, his room being the one Kyuhyun occupies now and you wanted to throw up at the thought of sleeping beside your best friend. You stood up and kicked at Kibum’s legs under the covers, or were that really his legs? Before cleaning the broken pieces of the cup.
“So he really is your boyfriend.” Kibum said drowsily, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Good thing I decided to come over, or you couldn’t have told me.”
“Is he really my boyfriend?” You asked yourself, and Kibum peaked his head out to stare at you.
“Is he not?” He asked, not really knowing what the truth is. “Where has he gone to anyway?”
“Maybe he locked himself inside his room. I heard the door close.” You said softly while carefully picking up the broken glasses.
“Who is him to you?” You heard him mumble and you’re positive he drifted off to sleep already, but you gave the question a thought.
Who is Kyuhyun to you anyway? “He’s just someone… who barged into my life just like that. And I let him in.” And he’s more than just that. He’s someone you have no control of, but instead he took control over you.
You knocked on his door once you’ve done cleaning the floor, and laughed when he shouted from the inside, ‘hyung I didn’t see anything!’. You went back inside your room and kicked the sleeping Kibum on your bed, but maybe you kicked too hard because you can hear him groan. You took the master key from the drawer and trudged towards Kyuhyun’s room.
He was a bit surprised when the door opened but didn’t question it when you threw the keys on his night stand. He was sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow and leaning his back on the head board.
“Are you crying?” You asked him and he unconsciously wiped invisible tears on his face.
“N-no! I’m not!” He said and scooted farther on the bed when you sat at the edge.
“He’s Kim Kibum. I’m sure you’ve heard about him. The artist Kim Kibum.” You said, not really wanting to sound like you’re explaining or anything and continued when Kyuhyun turned his gaze towards you. “I gave him a spare key and he comes over when he has free time and he’s staying close in the area. He’s my best friend. He used to be the one who occupies this room but I guess he saw you when he arrived last night so he slept on my bed.”
“R-right. How would I possibly know that.” He muttered and you find yourself giggling at how adorable he looked, blushing like that.
You raised both your feet up on the bed and smiled when he didn’t flinch away, and one moment you are inching towards him. He had his eyes closed when you’re face is just centimeters away from his and giggled before pressing your lips on his warm soft ones.
“Let me sleep.” You said when you pulled away and smiled when he tucked you on the bed before he himself slid under the covers and placed his arms around you. You didn’t ask him to sing a lullaby this time, because you can hear a very beautiful melody while your ear is pressed against his chest.
“Ryeowook.” He said, and you smiled against his chest liking the way your name rolls out of his tongue. He did it again, just like that. You didn’t mind when he called you ‘hyung’ just the next week after you first met. If it was another person you could have gotten mad because of the informality, but this is different. This is Kyuhyun. Someone who causes a lot of changes in your life, but you just let him. And you don’t regret anything.
Change is good and you don’t need to always be in control. Sometimes it’s good to have someone take control over you, break the rules you’ve set around you. No matter what of a control freak you are, it’s not about always being dominant. It’s about accepting the new changes in your life and learning how to live with them, or without them.
-------------------------------------------------
they make me wait, and wait, and wait, and then they forget. and im still waiting
vacation is ending huhuhu XD
well this fic is just a representation of how i hate changes. i hate it. lol why am i like this, i hate everything orz
does this make any sense? ugh. i give up trying to make sense.
and it's not angst. what happened to me? ㅠㅠ
too lazy to proof read, so sorry for the typos and everything =___=
it's angeline and hendrika's birthday, but this fic is just too boring to be a birthday fic > < i'll make it up to both of you next year XD *hearts and kisses and everything*
PG | Friendship, Romance, Fluff ?
20. You stare at the calendar in front of you, the number 20 printed in plain black ink just beside the number 21. Of course they’re beside each other. Of course 21 comes right after 20. And June comes right after May. It’s already June and your calendar still beams May 20. You knew it’s a bad idea to get a daily calendar instead of those normal ones, but you were never the one who settles on something normal.
It took you more than an hour to find your missing phone. Well, it went missing just like that and turned out to be just under your bed. You know there isn’t really something important in there, a message or call or something. It’s just a habit, something you’ve grown accustomed to. You don’t use it but you know it’s just there and will be there when you’ll need it.
Something constant. You want something constant in your life other than change itself. Changing the dates on the calendar every day, waking up at 6:30 in the morning, cooking breakfast, getting ready for the day. Something constant, just like that. But those habits are not enough. Besides, what good can they do? It’s just something born out of habit and the needs of a person. Surely you would do that, simply because you need to.
You check your phone, expecting a message of some sort from someone kinda special but you find none. Not even a hoax message or anything. You can feel your mood dampen a little. Kibum has always, always, for the past five years greeted you a month early for your birthday. He always wants to be the first, but he’s busy now isn’t he. He’s a rising star and you’re still the lame writer that you were. You think about how many beautiful people has he already met, worked with, does he have a new best friend now? You shake your head at the thought and tell yourself that if there’s one thing that’s as constant as change, it will be friendship. But you fail to keep it at heart because one moment you find yourself buying a new phone and changing your old number.
“Ryeowook-ssi, I need this month’s issue now.” Leeteuk, your editor told you that night when he came over with the reason of not being able to contact you. And yeah, you changed your digits.
“Sorry hyung, I got a new number and I think I forgot to call you.” You said standing up from the couch and smiling down at him on your way to your office room to get the article. It’s something new again. Working for a magazine when all your life, or what you call your life, you’ve been writing only books. It needs to be less wordy but more detailed, something objective, free of judgment and prejudice, a total opposite of what you’ve lived for. At times it makes you want to apply for a transfer to the editorial section.
“You’ve had that number for years now, or what, more than a decade? Why a sudden change?” Leeteuk hollered by the stairs as he watches you enter your office room and you cringe at the sound of that. Change?
“It’s not really sudden… Well, yeah it is, but… I… I just felt like I need to.” Your frown is visible when you get back at the living room and the elder just laughed at you. He’s been your editor ever since you’ve started writing, and you smile at the thought. It was even before you had your own apartment, before you can pay your own school fees. When was that again, during middle school? You’ve been together almost half of your life, and just like how you changed your phone, just like how you shifted jobs, just like how you hated it, change is inevitable.
“I’ll come over tomorrow and I’ll be bringing your new partner, I hope you don’t mind.” He asked you and sighed when you just looked at him. “He’s just a year younger than you but he’s superb. A child genius I can say, well they all say.” He laughs his high pitched laugh and you found yourself pouting. “I bet he’ll be a better partner than I am.”
“How can that be hyung?!” You whine and Leeteuk starts laughing again. “He’s younger, and a genius? I don’t need a genius. I need someone who can do his job properly. Someone like you. I don’t need someone to babysit.” You puffed your cheeks and a frown became visible in your forehead as Leeteuk handed you a file containing your new editor’s profile.
“Change is good.” He told you while drinking from the bottle of soju he brought with him when he came over.
“Yeah, but I don’t want it.” You retorted back and both of you fell silent for minutes. You talked about everything, a normal night when one feels empty, a bit sad. But it’s all normal, besides, change is inevitable.
You stay up even before Leeteuk left, drinking the soju you keep inside your fridge because Leeteuk always bring more than what you both consume. It’s like he knows you will need it some other time. You sigh and stare at your blur reflection on the black tv screen. What’s good with change? Is it good that you lost two great friends in a day? You hate the thought, so you grabbed your phone and punched in Kibum’s number sending him a message that you changed yours.
But you got no reply. So you just went on with drinking your soju until you passed out on the living room that night.
There was light, and there’s the massive darkness that surrounds the light, and then there’s pain. And then there’s warmth.
You can feel your head throbbing in your sleep, maybe you drank a lot more than what you’re used to, and hangover is something expected because of that. Well, maybe something you never expected because you know you ran out of medicines months ago, so you turned to your right and was a bit surprised when your face came in contact with something warm and soft, it could have been just a pillow, or the huge giraffe plushy Leeteuk got you for your last birthday, but then that something warm yelped, you know it’s not the giraffe or the pillow. Pillows don’t yelp.
You tried to open your eyes but as you do so, a blinding light assaulted your eyes forcing them to shut tight again. “Turn off the lights” you hissed and you can feel someone stiffen beside you.
“I-I will. Just… get off of me first.” A low gentle voice said, then warm hands are on your head lifting it slowly as the man get off the couch. And then it you just realized that you’re leaning on his thighs, he has warm hands and soft velvety voice, and he’s someone you don’t know.
“Who are you?” You whispered, because you know from experience that it’s better to stay calm when something’s drilling your skull.
“Cho Kyuhyun.” The soft voice said and you heard a click from the other side of the room, meaning it’s safe to open your eyes now, but when you did, you saw more than just a blinding light, a guy, this Cho Kyuhyun hovering over you with a cute frown on his face. You can feel your blood rushing to your cheeks and to your head which made your head hurt as hell, so you just stared, and winced a little, and stared more. “Here,” He said softly and one second, your head is again leaning on his thighs as his long warm fingers danced around your forehead pressing and tapping a comfortable rhythm, making your headache more bearable.
“Why are you here Cho Kyuhyun-ssi, and where is Leeteuk hyung?” You whispered and there’s a slight shifting from the person beside you, a little careful and limited because surely he understands how it feels when you have hangover.
“Leeteuk-ssi sent me here, he said he can’t accompany me because of the meeting of the heads, then he gave me your number, address and a spare key. I-I tried to call you but you’re not answering and I got worried so I let myself in. I saw you sprawled on the floor and there are bottles around you so I assumed you’re just too… drunk last night… or something” Kyuhyun said, lowering his voice a little more to not aggravate your headache, and you appreciate that, but his voice is just too beautiful it sounds like a classic melody to your ears, and you find yourself drifting off to sleep.
“Just so you know, Kyuhyun-ssi. I don’t let just anyone enter my house and touch me like this. I don’t even know you, but since you’re already here, I guess I don’t have a choice.” You whispered before falling asleep again.
You don’t know why you said that, clearly you’re not as drunk as the night before and not as sober as you are now, but your headache now’s just a tiny prickling pain in your skull and the only problem you have is you feel so dirty and you stink of alcohol and what’s more is that how are you going to bathe when someone’s arms is draped over your torso. Now, how are you going to get up without waking him up?
It shouldn’t be your problem, who the hell is this man named Cho Kyuhyun who is just a step away from being a stranger, well he was a stranger just hours ago but you just let him into your life. You glance up at him and from your position you can clearly see his facial features. Beautiful. Just beautiful, in a handsomely awesome way. His head hangs bowed inches above yours and a smile creeps on your lips. You wonder how this beautiful stranger took your words earlier.
And then an alarm went off, Kyuhyun’s head fell forward, and the next thing you know something heavy and soft and warm is on your lips, but it’s painful. And when you learned of what it is, it became beautifully painful. You tilted your head a bit to the side and then huge black eyes are staring at you.
“Get off” You whispered against his lips and he came stumbling out of the couch bringing you to roll down on the floor.
“I swear I was just… I didn’t know I fell asleep.” Kyuhyun mumbles to himself while unconsciously touching his lips. And you couldn’t help but groan at the alarm on your phone because seriously it’s annoying. He must have heard you so he took your phone from the table and turned the alarm off.
In normal circumstances you would have yelled at him for touching your things, your phone specifically which is supposedly a personal thing. But you convince yourself that this is not normal because you are not getting angry. Maybe because of your headache, yes. Headache.
Change is good. You can hear Leeteuk’s voice inside your head. How is this good? Because of a stupid headache everything went crazy. Some stranger just barged into your house, and you even slept beside him, touched your personal things, you even shared a kiss, and now you’re sharing a meal with him.
“We graduated from the same university.” He told you over dinner and you learned that he’s the genius from the lower year who skipped first year in the university ending up as the same year as you. You never really cared who that boy was. Just some genius, there are tons of geniuses, but then you never really cared about everybody in the first place.
“So you were that genius guy.” You said passively not noticing the frown on the younger’s face.
“I like your books.” He said and you smile at him, you wonder though what made him shift his gaze away with a visible tint of pink on his cheeks.
“What are you thinking?” You blurted out suddenly and he just stared at you. “Oh. Sorry, don’t feel obliged to answer that. I wasn’t really thinking, myself when I said that.”
“You have a beautiful smile.” He whispered, causing your movements to halt halfway in eating. “I was thinking, I never saw you smile when we were in the university when I’ve stalked you for so long. It’s the first time, and just like what I’ve imagine, you really do have a beautiful smile.”
You’re lost for words, and really how do you react to that? No one’s really that confident in expressing what they’re thinking just like this guy. He’s a first.
“Do you have to be so blunt about stalking me? Maybe you’re a good stalker, I never really noticed.” You told him but he just kept quiet, and when you turned at him, he’s smiling fondly at you. And you can’t help but think of how beautiful he is.
“You never really cared about other people back then, or maybe ‘til now.” He said and maybe your shocked expression gave your thoughts away so he continued. “You never really cared about anyone other than the grey kitten under the tree at the back of the library.”
“I don’t really have anyone to care about either. People come and go, I lose people in an everyday basis I got used to it. Just another constant in my life. I lost my best friend and Leeteuk hyung just yesterday, and I found you today. I wonder what will happen next.” You told him with a soft voice and you fell in silence for the rest of the day until you found out that Leeteuk ordered him to stay at your place. For how long, he doesn’t even have any idea.
“The spare room’s the one with the white door on the left and the rest room is at the end of the corridor.” You told him tiredly before going inside your room. You hate changes, and you wonder why now of all times, change is being so generous to you. It’s something you, and you can feel control slipping off the tips of your finger. It’s something new, but you let it be.
You stopped trying to be in control.
“Hyung, hyung.” You heard someone call from your right but you refuse to open your eyes. “Hyung…” another call and then a weight pressed at the right side of your bed. “Hyung, wake up.”
“Kyuhyun what is your problem now?” You hissed still refusing to open your eyes. It’s been a month since Kyuhyun went in to live with you, and it’s not that pleasant because the little devil is a pain in the ass, though you can admit, it’s not half bad either.
“Hyung, I’m hungry.” Kyuhyun whispered and you’re positive he’s now lying beside you on your bed.
“Cereals?” You whispered back and you can hear the pout in his voice when he said ‘no’. You whine while forcing your eyes to open and you once again woke up to a sight of a beautiful man beside you, which is in fact not a bad thing either. You let Kyuhyun pull you up knowing your kitchen, rather, your whole house will be in danger if you let him cook food for himself again.
But remembering that time doesn’t even bring a frown to your face. You scolded him so early that morning but ended up smiling like a lunatic when you saw a poor excuse of a cake inside the fridge. Well it turned out to be edible and the only thing Kyuhyun managed to get right, and knowing that that’s his fifth try, isn’t bad at all. And that was the morning of your birthday.
“You should stop acting like a baby and let me sleep more. I just finished the new book’s last volume just a while ago.” You told him placing a plate of simple breakfast in front of him and sitting at the chair across.
“I don’t know how to cook. And I’ve been eating cereals ever since the you locked yourself inside your office. I need real food, hyung.” He said digging into the plate. “Why don’t you sleep now? I can eat by myself you know.” He said but clearly he doesn’t mind you staring at him.
You don’t know where it started, and he just called you hyung. You remember not getting mad when he went inside your house for the first time, merely a stranger and even massaged your forehead. He turned off the alarm on your phone, and started to live with you. It’s not something that happens on a daily basis and you’re feeling like you’re starting to lose control of everything, but you didn’t do anything. Because it feels right.
One day Kyuhyun started to just barge into your room, and you don’t even remember when. The next day you remember not closing the door anymore.
As days went by he was jumping on your bed, then lying there beside you and poking your nose. Oftentimes he ends up sleeping beside you instead of doing his job of waking you up. If it’s another person it would have been uncomfortable and you could have gotten mad.
So maybe he’s not just another person, because you feel comfortable. It feels right, so you just let everything happen. Besides, it’s Kyuhyun, and it feels right. For the first time you feel happy not being in control.
“Hyung stop staring at me.” He snapped at you but you just continued staring. It’s one thing you realize that you’re constantly doing despite all the constant changes and surprises in your life now. Just staring, and staring some more.
He pulled you up on your feet and started dragging you up to your room muttering something like ‘let’s get you back to sleep’.
“Kyuhyun-ah.” You called him when he’s about to leave the room and he turned the lights off before turning to look at you. “Sing me a song. I can’t sleep.” You said despite the yawn that escaped your mouth after that, but he just laughed that hearty laugh and you moved a bit to the side as he leaped onto your bed before singing a song which lulled you to your dreamland.
It’s been so long since you’ve slept like a log and you wonder how many hours have you slept already. You turned to your right and felt someone’s arms draped around you. You smile thinking how Kyuhyun ended up sleeping on your bed again this time but when you placed your arm around him, a crashing sound woke you up and you jolted up the bed, your eyes narrowing and trying to find light. Then it landed on the only light source in your room now, the open door with a broken cup of coffee and a silver tray on the floor. You frowned, thinking who the other person was.
“Who is that?” A husky low voice whispered from behind you and you fell off the bed. It’s not Kyuhyun.
“What the hell Kibum!” You screamed at him but he just laughed at you. “Why are you here? And in my room and of all places, on my bed?”
“My room is already taken. And I guess I scared your little boyfriend away.” He said before pulling the covers over his head. And you remember that Kibum has a spare key and he comes over whenever he has free time, his room being the one Kyuhyun occupies now and you wanted to throw up at the thought of sleeping beside your best friend. You stood up and kicked at Kibum’s legs under the covers, or were that really his legs? Before cleaning the broken pieces of the cup.
“So he really is your boyfriend.” Kibum said drowsily, his voice muffled by the pillow. “Good thing I decided to come over, or you couldn’t have told me.”
“Is he really my boyfriend?” You asked yourself, and Kibum peaked his head out to stare at you.
“Is he not?” He asked, not really knowing what the truth is. “Where has he gone to anyway?”
“Maybe he locked himself inside his room. I heard the door close.” You said softly while carefully picking up the broken glasses.
“Who is him to you?” You heard him mumble and you’re positive he drifted off to sleep already, but you gave the question a thought.
Who is Kyuhyun to you anyway? “He’s just someone… who barged into my life just like that. And I let him in.” And he’s more than just that. He’s someone you have no control of, but instead he took control over you.
You knocked on his door once you’ve done cleaning the floor, and laughed when he shouted from the inside, ‘hyung I didn’t see anything!’. You went back inside your room and kicked the sleeping Kibum on your bed, but maybe you kicked too hard because you can hear him groan. You took the master key from the drawer and trudged towards Kyuhyun’s room.
He was a bit surprised when the door opened but didn’t question it when you threw the keys on his night stand. He was sitting on the bed, hugging a pillow and leaning his back on the head board.
“Are you crying?” You asked him and he unconsciously wiped invisible tears on his face.
“N-no! I’m not!” He said and scooted farther on the bed when you sat at the edge.
“He’s Kim Kibum. I’m sure you’ve heard about him. The artist Kim Kibum.” You said, not really wanting to sound like you’re explaining or anything and continued when Kyuhyun turned his gaze towards you. “I gave him a spare key and he comes over when he has free time and he’s staying close in the area. He’s my best friend. He used to be the one who occupies this room but I guess he saw you when he arrived last night so he slept on my bed.”
“R-right. How would I possibly know that.” He muttered and you find yourself giggling at how adorable he looked, blushing like that.
You raised both your feet up on the bed and smiled when he didn’t flinch away, and one moment you are inching towards him. He had his eyes closed when you’re face is just centimeters away from his and giggled before pressing your lips on his warm soft ones.
“Let me sleep.” You said when you pulled away and smiled when he tucked you on the bed before he himself slid under the covers and placed his arms around you. You didn’t ask him to sing a lullaby this time, because you can hear a very beautiful melody while your ear is pressed against his chest.
“Ryeowook.” He said, and you smiled against his chest liking the way your name rolls out of his tongue. He did it again, just like that. You didn’t mind when he called you ‘hyung’ just the next week after you first met. If it was another person you could have gotten mad because of the informality, but this is different. This is Kyuhyun. Someone who causes a lot of changes in your life, but you just let him. And you don’t regret anything.
Change is good and you don’t need to always be in control. Sometimes it’s good to have someone take control over you, break the rules you’ve set around you. No matter what of a control freak you are, it’s not about always being dominant. It’s about accepting the new changes in your life and learning how to live with them, or without them.
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they make me wait, and wait, and wait, and then they forget. and im still waiting
vacation is ending huhuhu XD
well this fic is just a representation of how i hate changes. i hate it. lol why am i like this, i hate everything orz
does this make any sense? ugh. i give up trying to make sense.
and it's not angst. what happened to me? ㅠㅠ
too lazy to proof read, so sorry for the typos and everything =___=
it's angeline and hendrika's birthday, but this fic is just too boring to be a birthday fic > < i'll make it up to both of you next year XD *hearts and kisses and everything*