[fic20] Change
Title : Change
Author : ryo_anne
Word count : 864
Pairing : Akame? (friendship)
Rating : G
Summary : Koki called Jin after their concert last night.
Author's note : This piece is somehow my point of view of the whole thing; you might not agree with me.
“HE WAS CRYING, FOR GOD’S SAKE! ALL OF US WERE CRYING! WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT?! WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR BAKANISHI?!”
Jin winched. It was not because Koki was screaming at the top of his voice, no, but the words got him right on the heart. “He was crying,” Koki said (no, shouted, to use the exact word). He did not need to ask who the ‘he’ was; the only reason Koki would throw such tantrums was only one - Kame. Jin made eye contact with his manager to let him know he wanted to be alone for a while and the manager obliged as he walked out the room and closed the door behind him.
“Koki…”
“DON’T SAY THIS IS THAT OLD MAN’S DECISION - HE TOLD US ALREADY IT IS YOURS! GOD - AT LEAST TELL US! DISCUSS WITH US AND THIS WON’T BE THIS HARD…”
“Koki…” Jin called again, imploring. “Koki, listen, okay? Yes, it is my decision. He himself said the damage wouldn’t that severe now that I’ve left before…”
“What are you, a fan?! That press conference is for fans to believe, not you! You know him better; you should know how hard this is for him! Hell, Akanishi - I seriously felt like killing you when he got drunk and cried all his soul out. He never got that low before.”
Jin closed his eyes, trying to bear the searing pain in his chest. Kame rarely cried. Or drunk and cried, which was worse. During these rare times, usually it was him, Jin, who was there with him, consoling him, telling him everything would turn all right. But now he was the cause of one of these rare times. It was the last thing he wanted to do, even when he made the decision. Some people might be happy to know that even Kamenashi Kazuya the Mr. Perfect could have his break down but Jin was not.
“Is he still crying?”he asked.
“I think so. He went to his room already. Come here, Akanishi. We need you yourself to assure us, and hi, especially, that everything will be all right; even he himself did not believe whatever he said on the press conference.”
Jin recalled back what Kame had said in the press conference.
“He is doing it because he wants to do it. Forcing him to stop and be part of KAT-TUN with everyone would be a silly, mean thing for us to talk about. For us, understanding this thing as it is will be the best way for us to continue. About Akanishi, this is not the first time we’ve dealt about this. This is the second time it’s happened to us so the damage seems lighter than last time. The member will all talk together about how to divide the parts Akanishi sang. Like, there was a pattern of 6 of us doing it and we’ll create the pattern of 5 of us too. The arena tour started with us not filling in the holes but creating a shape of 5 of us. So in that way, yeah, how should I put it… it isn’t tough at all.”
Those words Kame did not believe at all.
Jin found himself slumped onto the sofa as his knees failed him. He wrapped his face exasperatedly. He noticed it when he watched the press conference. He noticed how Kame was not as composed as he usually was. He thought he was simply imagining it, though; as deep inside his heart he actually wanted Kame to be angry and worried, despite all those words he had been so adapted to say. He wanted him to care.
“Koki…” he started again when he finally trusted his voice not to be shaky.
“What?”
“Go and comfort him. Tell him everything will be just fine. Tell him everything will work out somehow.” Jin tried to put as much energy into his voice, even though it really felt like all the energy had been drained from him in one single moment.
“Tell that to him yourself. You know where to find him. You have his phone number. Talk to him. That’s the least you can do if you are still calling yourself his friend.”
“I can’t. Tell him that for me. Please.” Because he knew that the moment he heard a word from Kame, the moment he laid his eyes on the other members, his determination would waver at once, even though they were not asking him to stay. They meant so much for him, unlike all people had always assumed. That was the reason why he did not contact any of them when he came back from Japan. He wanted to make his own decision, even though he might resent it someday.
“And Koki,” he cut off before Koki could say anything. “This is not confirmed or anything. No matter what that old man has said, there’s still a chance, in these three months, that he changes his mind." Translated; there was still hope for us.
“Akani…”
“And,” he cut him off again. “Take good care of Kaz- of him. You always do when I’m not around; I’m counting on you now. I will meet you guys someday, just…just not at this moment.”
“Akanishi…”
“I promise, Koki.” With that he hung up the phone with a single tear rolling down his cheek.
I know it seems stupid for me to still believe that this whole thing is just a big publicity for both KAT-TUN and Jin's tours but I think I'm going to be stupid for these three months. Really.