I survived
Two days ago i listened to P!nk's "Perfect", i didn't listen to that song for some months actually... and monday i saw it on youtube and i just sang it with my sister while chatting and tumblring and yeah.
But then last night i went to sleep and i realized why i suddenly stopped listening to that song, i've been through a bad period... like, from july/august to september? well i know it's not so much time but to me it looked like a whole year.
Last night i realized i feel better, like, really better than before.
Actually i never realized it before, i think that period passed and went away but i didn't realize it when it happened.
I just kept feeling bad and bad and so bad and horrible, everyday i felt like shit but i got used to it. I cried almost everyday for so many reasons i can't even remember them all.
You know when you just want to disappear, you just want to leave because you think nobody would notice it? You feel like you got nothing, you feel like you suck, you feel like shit.
You keep doing mistakes without caring about it because "hey i never do something right"
I think i've been through periods like that something like... 3 times in my life. I can remember everything about them but i never realize when they're leaving me. I only can feel them when they come and they start destroying me...
I'm glad i feel better, even though i'm not great as i'd like to be. But i'm living my life, i'm doing my stuff and yeah... i don't feel that bad.
When i think about me being through hard times like that, then i think "but i'm still here, i didn't give up at all as i thought i did"
And i feel kinda proud of myself.
I don't know why i'm writing here about it, i just felt like sharing it with someone but i think nobody is really interested in my life lol so i just decided to write it down here.
But then last night i went to sleep and i realized why i suddenly stopped listening to that song, i've been through a bad period... like, from july/august to september? well i know it's not so much time but to me it looked like a whole year.
Last night i realized i feel better, like, really better than before.
Actually i never realized it before, i think that period passed and went away but i didn't realize it when it happened.
I just kept feeling bad and bad and so bad and horrible, everyday i felt like shit but i got used to it. I cried almost everyday for so many reasons i can't even remember them all.
You know when you just want to disappear, you just want to leave because you think nobody would notice it? You feel like you got nothing, you feel like you suck, you feel like shit.
You keep doing mistakes without caring about it because "hey i never do something right"
I think i've been through periods like that something like... 3 times in my life. I can remember everything about them but i never realize when they're leaving me. I only can feel them when they come and they start destroying me...
I'm glad i feel better, even though i'm not great as i'd like to be. But i'm living my life, i'm doing my stuff and yeah... i don't feel that bad.
When i think about me being through hard times like that, then i think "but i'm still here, i didn't give up at all as i thought i did"
And i feel kinda proud of myself.
I don't know why i'm writing here about it, i just felt like sharing it with someone but i think nobody is really interested in my life lol so i just decided to write it down here.