Irreplaceable
Title: Irreplaceable
Author: xx_scandalus
Rating: PG
Pairing: Purely Ryoda
Summary: A few words that slippped from your mouth - how do you mend the wound it has opened up when it can't even be seen?
Disclaimer: I don't own them. JE does, lucky biiiiiish.
Author's Note: This is my first ever Ryoda - actually, Shonen-ai - fanfic ever, so comments are welcome.
Sometimes, it’s just one glance; one look that makes your heart flutter and your words catch in your throat, clawing at the walls of your mouth to be let out - iloveyou.-
Other times, it’s his laughter that makes you stop in your tracks - makes you reconsider your relationship with him, and how it was ruined by a few sharp words that you would give the world to take back; but you can’t, and you are reminded of your mistake every time he goes out of his way to avoid talking to you.
Yamashita and Jin have noticed the hurt ripping through you whenever he ignores your presence and instead, lets his attention fall on Nakamaru and Koki, the sight of his precious smile making your chest tighten.
“I’ll talk to him,” Jin promises, but you hold him back, afraid that a wrong word will drive the two of you further apart, and you don’t want to risk that; you can’t risk that.
“Have you tried apologising?” Yamashita asks, earning a glare from Jin. The NEWS’ leader shrugs and turns to face you, his eyes questioning your soul.
“Once… twice… I can’t remember how many times…” you breathe, running a hand through thick, black hair and sighing.
“He can’t stay mad at you long - you’re the Sexy Osaka Man!” Jin encourages, managing to fish a weak smile from the mask of your face.
A soft cough behind Jin makes you throw your head up, eyes wide as your hungry gaze lands on him. He is standing in front of you, meeting your gaze.
“Ueda,” Jin greets, standing up. “Did you want me?”
“Koki wants to go drinking after practise - do you want to go?” Ueda invites, staring directly at you, as though taunting you to interject and say something.
“Yeah, why not? Ryo, Pi - what do you think?”
Yamashita declines, mentioning something about having dinner with Shigeaki and Koyama. Jin faces you, his invitation still open. Your heart leaps to your mouth as you seize your given chance to set things right.
“Sure, I’m up for it.”
But he has already turned away from you, your words reaching the back of his head, and with every step he takes, your misery grows.
The lights are low and the bad taste in music is loud - too loud. A girl with a tight smile and eyes like oil spills climbs over Jin, thrusting her breasts in his face and giggling insanely. You pass by the pair, your ears hearing nothing, your mouth tasting nothing; your eyes searching from him.
You finally see him, and the sight of him makes something low in your body stir. He looks up as you approach him, the dim lights throwing shadows across his face.
“Hello,” you start, and your mouth is suddenly dry.
His eyes meet yours, and you are lost in the soft brown of them, hidden behind a thin wall of glass. The rich chocolate colour of his eyes disappears briefly as he blinks, and he tilts his head to one side.
“Hello,” he answers, and that one words give you searing hope, warming you to your very core.
You risk a small smile, and the quick nod of his head gives you permission to sit next to him, your slender fingers entwined so that you can rest your chin on your hands.
You open up with an “I’m sorry,” but he puts his hand up, shaking his head.
“I don’t want an apology,” he says in a low voice. “You said something that I can never forget, and no matter how many times you apologise, it doesn’t change the fact that those words - iwishinevermetyou - left your mouth.”
You bow your head, your small flame of hope now smothered by a biting darkness. A prickling sensation at the corner of your eyes threatens to surrender the sadness you feel and you scowl, angry at yourself for being this affected.
“But,” Ueda continues, “If you talk to me like you would when we’re not fighting, I might take what you said as a slip of the tongue under the influence of alcohol…”
You reach out tentatively and trail long fingers down the side of his face, relishing how soft his skin is, and it is soft, and it reminds you of everything warm and reminiscent.
“I love you,” you say simply. “I always have, and always will, and I was stupid. You make my sun shine, and your very existence is a gift… something I should never take for granted. You are my life, Princess. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…”
You trail off and murmur the three words over and over into the side of his neck, and you breathe in his scent, savouring the fact that he is finally yours. He smiles and his lips ghost over yours, causing you to blush and bury your face into his hair, kissing the top of his head.
“I love you.”
832 words