[One-shot] The way to roleplay RyoDa - the story part 3
Title : The way to roleplay RyoDa : second story
Pairing : RyoDa obviously
Authors : gaillen & creamy_amande
Rating : I'd say safe, maybe some rude words that’s all
Genre : Crack, fluff, angst
Summary : Again, gaillen & me roleplayed. And again, it was spontaneous, we were discussing how now there were girls in RESCUE's PV and I was what you call a bit jealous over it, and in my memory of fangirl, it was the first time I saw girls, but then she said there were in DUES; but I was all "well it's different in a nightclub right?"
Though it's not a sequel of our first RP. This one turned out to be more serious and wayyy longer!!!
part 1 || part 2
Trying is better than nothing. After almost 2 hours calling everyone from his family to friends and collegues, reassuring themselves he's okay, and that he has just blinked 2 seconds because of exhaustion before the accident to happen, his now only task is to call Kame. Okay not right now. Maybe in a few minutes, after he decides what to tell him. Or lie. Again.
In the end, one hour will pass before he really calls him, cause you know, he was scared...and had to build up a lie, in case Kamenashi wouldn't know about the accident. And he still has to see if the pills work, or not.
*Shoon* "Ueda-senpai!"
Tatsuya turned wearily to the door of his dressing room and sighed.
"Yes, Yamashita-kun?"
"I think you need to come see this, it could be important."
Tatsuya glanced over at his older band mate only to find that Nakamaru was asleep and flat out snoring on his sofa.
"Okay. One second."
Grabbing up his bottle of water and taking several sips of the cool liquid before following the younger Jyanni into the rest room. The TV was playing on one of the news channels and Tatsuya sighed wondering what it was that Shoon wanted to show him. The next moment Tatsuya gasped and the bottle of water slipped from his hand to bounce on the floor and splash water across the bottom of his jeans as his boyfriend's name appeared on the news screen in relation to an vehicle accident.
After listening to the report, Tatsuya turned and ran back to his dressing room grabbing his cell phone. He was halfway through dialing Ryo's number before he stopped himself. Even with it being a car accident, he shouldn't call the other. They weren't back on speaking terms yet and Tatsuya knew that his call wouldn't be accepted. It took all the strength he had to put the phone away slowly.
Walking over to Nakamaru, he shook the older male gently. After he had woke up, Tatsuya asked if Nakamaru could take him home and the older male agreed. As Nakamaru was grabbing Tatsuya's things, the boxer sighed. "Please be alright, Ryo."
Ryo wanders in the jimusho, looking for the perfect hidden place, where he could call Kamenashi, withouth being heard by someone else. ~bu bu bu~
Kame bowed as the director for the drama told everyone that it was a wrap and was headed back to the dressing room when his phone went off. He picked it up from the dressing table and glanced at the caller ID.
"Moshi Mosh~? Nishikido?"
*almost whispering* "Yes, Nishikido here"
"So Kamenashi, you..hum don't know how to say it, but I think I might need a raincheck about, the reason I'm not myself.."
"Why would that be? You promised you'd tell me what's going on."
"I know, by the way, do you happen to have seen the news today?"
"Not yet. I've been in the studio all day filming for Kami no Shizuku. Why?"
"Ah okay, I guess I have to tell you the truth then...Just be there for Tatsuya if he breaks down you know"
"Why would he break down anymore than he already is? And the whole point of this conversation is for you to tell me the truth. Were you really thinking of lying to me?"
"I !...I just wanted to save time, sorry. I'll tell you the truth, but..I'm still experimenting so, if it doesn't work, I don't know what I would do.
So Kamenashi, the truth is...I...
I have schizophrenia...and I just started treatment"
"Schizophrenia?"
"Yeahh...I know I should tell the truth to Tatsuya but I'm scared you know."
"Why not? I think he should know what's going on."
"Because I have to be sure it won't affect him more! Don't you get it?! I hurt him because of it!"
"I fucking hurt HIM! I'm a monster!"
"That's even more reason to explain it to him!"
"NO! If this treatment does not work I want him to forget about me...I want him to move on"
"Nishikido! You might think you're a monster and you say you hurt him, but by lying to him to hurt him even more.
He loves you. And something like that isn't easy to forget!"
"I love him too and that's why I need time..to try and heal, see if it works"
"How much time, Nishikido? How long will the treatment take?"
"I don't know, just a couple of days, but the treatment is for life actually.
I'll have to take pills all my goddamn life"
"But if it works, isn't it good enough to just take pills for your entire life as long as you and Tatsuya are happy?"
"Yes! But I have to see if it works already for a few days! And if it doesn't, and there is no other treatment..."
"Nishikido, you need to tell Tat-chan. If it does work, you'll have his support."
"And if it doesn't?"
"If it doesn't work, he'll be heartbroken."
"What choice do I have? if it does not work I don't want him to stay with me and be hurt again!"
"He'll be heartbroken if you don't explain why you have to leave him."
"...but he'll be heartbroken anyway right?! might tell him and leave him anyway.."
"At least he'll understand."
"You really think so Kamenashi?"
"You're doing it for him right? "
"Of course I do!"
"Do you really want him to hate you when you leave without explanation? Do you want him to think that it was his fault you left?
He will you know. He'll blame himself because that is who Tat-chan is."
"If he hates me then he would forget me easier.
No it wouldn't be his fault! I! I don't know anymore..I thought I was perfectly right about all of this..and now I doubt"
"Nishikido, what you're doing isn't wrong. Keeping it a secret is. Talk to him. He'd much rather hear it from you first."
"So I guess if I don't talk to him soon you will tell him and he won't recover from my lying?"
"I don't want to break your trust, but I don't want to break Tat-chan's heart. If he learns that I'M lying to him......
I don't want to do that."
"...you're a true friend to his Kame aren't you?"
"I love Tat-chan. He's like a brother to me. I don't want to see him hurt. And this will break his heart if he doesn't learn the truth from the one he loves. That's you, Nishikido."
"Guess you made a point. You're right, he has to know, I just didn't want it to be that soon, not after I just started taking pills"
"Alright, I can understand that wish. Give it a few days. I did say you had to talk to him at the end of the week time limit. Wait until then. That'll give you time to see if it works, right?"
"Yes...but now I don't know anymore
I'm afraid. Afraid that he will leave me sooner that I thought, and that would be because I waited too long to tell him the truth"
"Well, you need to at least text him. Tell him you're sorry and that you love him. Tell him that you'll explain later. Don't just leave him hanging."
Even if you don't explain it then. At least let him know that you still love him."
"Yes I think you're right. I could do that. It's not like he will go seek confort to Nakamaru, right?" *disconforting laugh* "Right?!"
"Honestly, I lied about Nakamaru and Tat-chan. They're just friends. Nakamaru's dating this girl from his college right now.
I just wanted you to get a little uncomfortable."
"EHHHHHH.?!"
"To push you into talking to Tat-chan."
"Can't believe you played me Kamaneshi!
It's cruel ! And really not funny! I really thought about it you know!"
"I know and I'm sorry. But I wanted you to realize that you needed Tat-chan. I really wanted you to talk to Tat-chan."
"I'm sorry I made you do this, sorry to have put you through this Kamenashi, I know how you hate dishonesty"
"It's okay but I'm sorry you and Tat-chan have to go through this. Ryo, if you need to talk to someone you can always call me. But please, do something about you and Tatsuya.
I won't say anything to Tat-chan. But only if you promise to tell him yourself."
"I promise, I'm glad I got to talk to you, you know, really.
I didn't know you were like this, thank you. Guess I've misjudged you all these years.
Okay then I'll take your word on that new friendship we have okay? I mean if you consider me your friend, I promise to honour it"
"Good luck, Nishikido. I hope everything works out for you in the end. And I hope you get better."
"Thanx! Work hard on your drama! Talk to you later!"
"Goodbye." *hangs up*
Sighing for the nthest time this week, Ryo types some words into his cellphone, probably texting Tatsuya as Kamenashi recommanded he does, for the sake of not lying anymore to his lover.
*T* "Oi! I mean...Hello Tatsuya. It's Ryo! Well you probably already know since you have my number...or maybe you already erased it? I hope you didn't, I'd kick your ass! No of course not I wouldn't, but in case you really erased it, it's okay, I'd understand...
So I'm sorry for not getting in touch with you these past days, I’m trying to fix something, it's important I do it, and I won't much see you for the coming 2-3 days again, and I'm sorry again for being a bad boyfriend Tatsuya. I hope you would forgive me or at least wait till I explain everything to you. I promise I will. I love you, don't doubt that okay? Your monkey."
Tatsuya blinked when his phone went off on the kitchen table. He put the kettle and mug down on the counter and picked the phone up before reading the text message from Ryo and then smiled, softly before writing a return text.
*T* "Of course I didn't erase your number. I hope whatever it is will end soon and you can come back to me. I saw your accident on the news. Please be okay Ryo. I miss you and I love you. I’ll wait until you can tell me what's going on. Just please come back to me soon. Your princess.
PS : don't ever doubt that I love you and I always will no matter what happens."
Ryo, being the sensitive that he is, at least behind closed doors, just smiled fondly at Ueda's text. Thinking he really did a mistake by not trusting Tatsuya as much as he would have, he begins texting him back and when he's going to send it, he pushes the dial button instead.
"Do I end this or not? Do I, do I ...."
"Moshi Mosh?"
"Do I... hsuahaHai! Tatsu...ya?"
"Ryo....?"
*now totally happy* "Are you okay?"
"I'm better now that I can hear you voice. I miss you, Ryo."
"Me too, princess"
"I know, I've already forgiven you.
Are you okay? I saw your accident. Can you tell me...Do you know what happened?"
"You saw my accident? Ah yeah, I'm alright, perfectly okay to tell you.
Just got a few scratches, but the lady I hurt has an injured neck. I guess I was, hum, tired"
"I hope she'll be okay. And I'm glad you're okay. Don't overwork yourself, Ryo."
"No it's not work. Don't worry, I've always been able to manage between my groups
How's your ankle? I heard about it by Kamenashi"
"It's better. I can't really walk on it to well but it's getting better. I'm still limping" *laughs*
"I'm sorry Tatsuya, sorry I hurt you, physically, and emotionally
I didn't want it you know that? *laughs sarcastically* "I'm not...DV"
"Ryo...I know and trust my Ryo. I know that isn't you. I don't know what's going on but I know that I trust you.
I know that whatever is going on, you'll be fine and you'll get better. I also know that eventually you'll come back to me. I trust you Ryo and I love you. "
"That is soo corny hime!"
"Ryo..." *sigh*
"Gomen gomen gomen! You're cute, and I miss your cuteness...
Oh by the way, is Nakamaru really going out with a college girl?"
"Where did that come from? And who told you? It's suppose to be a secret"
"Hurgh I heard something, from, Yamapi!"
"Yamashita? How would he know?"
"Kamenashi! Kamenashi told him! That's how I know"
"You mean Kame told you. But yes, Yucchi has a girlfriend. Her name's Kaede if I remember correctly. Real cute girl. She's totally Yucchi's type."
"No No Kame didn't tell me! I'm no friends with Kame you remember?!
How Ryo would explain to Tatsuya he's been "coached" by Kamenashi? Add to the fact Kamenashi knew his secret before Tatsuya.
But it's okay, I won't tell, you know me"
"Why did you want to know? "
"I just wanted to confirm something. It's good to know he's straight.
That didn't come out right. I like being gay, but there are already too many gays in the Johnnys..."
"Whatever. Just make sure it stays a secret that's he dating. You know how the jimusho frowns upon relationship."
"Yes I KNOW., We both are too"
"Yes, that's why I'm not afraid to confirm it to you."
"You can trust me about these things Tatsuya, I'm a johnnys too, won't tell on friends.
So what are you gonna do now? are you working? or studying on your play?"
"I'm at home now. Just going through my lines for the play.
It starts in a few days. Are you still going to make it to the first day in Osaka?"
"You're home? Oh..oh..Sorry I can't go back home either. I miss you though, at nights, being alone is, scary"
"Ryo?" *the sound of soft crying comes over the phone* "How long are you going to be away?"
*refuses to let his sobs be heard* "3 days. Probably. Just to be sure. It's working.
I have NewS right now, so maybe we'll see each other, in the jimusho, but just furtively
I promise it'll go fast, these 3 days."
"I don't know if I can stand those three days." *sobs* "But if it's necessary, I'll keep my distance."
*sighs* "Tatsuya please don't cry. Please be strong, you ARE stronger than me, and not only physically I know it.
I'm just an insensitive boyfriend but please fight this, for me."
"I'm *hic* trying. But I..."
" You...? Tatsuya what?"
"I'm sorry. "
"Sorry for what!? I'm the one that keeps hurting you!"
*Ueda is flat out crying now and can't talk*
"Tatsuya? TATSUYA! ...oh god i'm sorry, I did it, again
You know what, I'm gonna hang up now okay? I should have been back minutes ago to the others, and you have to wait for me.. please do, wait for me.
I can't hear you crying on the phone, I can't take it
"Ryo...Ryo...I love you."
"I'll have to go look for you right away, but now I can't. So I'll just, hang up"
"Goodbye."
" I love you, princess." *hangs up*
And now it's Ryo's turn to cry...but then Yamapi comes backs again to scream at him for not coming back decades ago *to Yamapi's opinion*
While in NewS room, Ryo texts a murderous text to Kame *T* "you REALLY lied to me about Nakamaru did you!...thank you Kame
Kame sighed as his phone went off again. He shifted the groceries in his arms and dug his phone out of his pocket and read the text that Ryo had sent him. He smiled and slipped the phone back into his pocket. *T* "Your welcome, Ryo."
Two days have passed since Ryo called Ueda. For the past two days, Ryo had been taking his medication quite methodically, he would take one at ten in the morning, then during lunch, he would swallow another one. They were strong, really, but he has to take them. The doctor said he could give him some lesser ones if they were tiring him too much . Plus he had a job, where he needed to pay attention carefully, while in concerts for exemple.
He feels rather nauseus at times, specially when the sun goes down, and so tonight, when Ueda will be onstage for his butai premiere, he'll probably call someone to tell him about how Ueda was shining and all, but he won't go there. No, tonight is his last day of trying the first batch of pills, he ain't gonna end up sleeping while his princess is performing.
So when darkness comes around, he mails Ueda, knowing this will be the time his lover can see his text, before going onstage.
*T* "Tatsuya, I don’t know if you have time to read your mails, I don't even kow if you're eating or if you're gonna go onstage right now, but I want to tell you something : Break a leg! I know that's how theater people tell others good luck.
By the way, I love you, and I'll probably call you tomorrow. Ryo"
Tatsuya sighed and fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt as he waited anixously for the opening cue. He was nothing but a bundle of nerves right now and was starting to feel really nauseated. He fought the urge to reach up and scratch his nose because it would mess up his make-up.
He shifted his weight and tapped his foot on the ground. A second later there was a knock on the door and he looked over at the entrance to his dressing room. An attendent looked in and told him that the start would be in ten minutes and that he should get to his place. He nodded, determinedly and stood.
As he was walking towards the door his phone went off and he started with a yelp. The noise had startled him a lot more than he thought it would and he blushed before walking over to the phone still sitting on his vanity. It was a message from Ryo. It was the first contact with Ryo he had had for the last two days. He read the text ignoring the call of the attendant outside the door.
He wrote a quick text back. *T* "Thanks. I'll try my best. I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow."
With that he couldn't avoid his fate any longer and was forced to leave the dressing room to go on stage. He sighed and smiled as brightly as possible as he left the dressing room. He was already looking forward to his phone call with Ryo the next day.
Two hours passed after that. He was watching TV, barely skipping through channels, as he had nothing to do, or think of. Then he remembered something; the text he sent Tatsuya made him forget the most important thing tonight! He was starving! It's as if his stomach was gone with his nervous self, and forgot to eat; it was already past 10pm. But what could he eat at this hour? He got out of his apartment, hurriedly ran down the stairs, and arrived, panting, in front of the convini, a few meters away of his residence.
"God I love my country!"
He thought about buying some ingredients to cook something, but he was too hungry to even think of spending time in the kitchen, plus it was late.
So he spent more than 20 minutes picking up 2 different bentos, you know, just for the fun of eating various things, plus he had to add 6 bottles of cold green tea to go with, sure he was an addict to the drink.
After he got back to his apartment, he gobbled up the food, drank 2 of the tea bottles, took a shower, drank another bottle while reading a book, then went to bed.
But first, he texted his koukai Shoon demanding for a full report of the play. Yes, sempai are scary....That night, Ryo dreamt of a Tatsuya in tights, fencing against Juliet, for his love.
Or was it Ryo fencing against Juliet for Tatsuya's love? In his dreams he could fight her, but it's not like he would tell his lover about his unpromising thoughts...not like he'd remember the next day anyway...
After getting home from the play, Tatsuya set at his vanity in his room and buried his face in his hands. The play had been an success so he wasn't worried about that, he wasn't really worried about anything. He was just completely sapped of all energy and left with absolutely nothing. Feeling both exhausted and a little sick from the fact that his stomach was no longer bunched up into knots, he finally managed to drag himself to his bed wondering just when Ryo would call him tomorrow.
That led him to another question. Just when was Ryo going to come back to him? He was so lonely recently. He couldn't even sleep very well at night and was given to break down at the slightest thing. He fell asleep before he could even think of an answer.
Morning came rather quickly. Ryo woke up with a good feeling, something he hasn't felt for days. He tought he had a weird dream, but he felt rather happy from it, like he had accomplished something. He just doesn't know why and what about. But that was still okay.
He knew when he woke up that today was a special day. Many things were to happen. He remembered he had to call Tatsuya today, but not just when he got up.
So after a nice shower and a little breakfast, (he DID ate a lot yesterday), he got off to the jimusho. It was around 10 when he arrived.
Yamapi was already there to greet him, as usual. So when Ryo came in to the room, his friend greeted with a usual "OHAYON Ryo-chan!" Even though he was happy, the loud hello from Yamapi was just too annoying, but he just replied as cheerfully to his friend while pinching his butt, for payback.
"Have you seen Uchi yet?"
"Huh Ryo I don't think Uchi's here today, but why? DO you need him for something? I can replace him you know, for whatever reasons you have."
"No thanx Pi, the last thing I need today is for a baka friend to help me."
"Hidoii!!! "
"huhuhu, I'm joking Pi, I wanted to talk to him but guess I can't. It's alright, it's not that important anyway, I'll call him later."
"Okay!"
And Yamapi proceeds to the door in hoping of greeting the other members of NewS the same way he did Ryo.
After waking that morning and showering, Tatsuya made his way to the meeting with the director of the play. He skipped breakfast simply because he still wasn't feeling all that well from last night. He sighed as he looked through the papers that set on the table in front of him, waiting for the rest of the cast to arrive for the meeting. They had a lot of things to talk about for the play last night and possibly change for tonight's play.
The door opened to admit Ryoko and Shoon. They greeted him cheerfully but Tatsuya sighed, glancing down at his phone. The director came in shortly after and they began talking but Tatsuya wasn't really paying attention as he continously flipped his phone open and closed. Ryoko sitting next to him noticed and leaned over slightly to hold a whispered conversation.
"Are you okay, Ueda-san?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Expecting a phone call from someone?"
"I'm hoping he'll call me soon."
"Ahh~ Nishikido-kun, ne?"
*sighs* "Yeah."
"You haven't talked about him much lately. Had a lover's spat?"
Tatsuya frowned and looked away, leaving Ryoko to look guilty. She was only teasing she didn't realize that that would hurt the man's feelings.
She reached over to gently touch his shoulder in support but the director immediately called attention to the both of them.
"Ueda-san, Kobayashi-san leave the love relationship for on stage."
Both ended up blushing and Tatsuya sank lower in his chair while the rest of the cast chuckled.
Tatsuya fervently wished the meeting would end soon and Ryo would call him. He was desperated to hear the Osakan's voice.
Ryo takes the opportunity of a little break to go hide somewhere, again, fishes out his phone, and dials Tatsuya. Two bips are heard and it only takes all his self control to get over his trembling hands and sweaty palms when he hears a loud thump against the door. And a Yamapi+Uchi falling over. Ryo just hungs up instantly.
"WHAT THE F*CK! I'm trying to call here! And Uchi, what are you doing here?!"
"Sorry! We're really sorry Ryo!"
"Yamapi called me and when I told him I was already there since early, he went to find me at the juniors aisle! I had to tell him Ryo, I'm sorry."
"WHAT?! What did you tell him?!"
"Gomen ne Ryo-chan, Uchi-kun didn't want to tell me but I had him say it. I. I don't know what to say." *Ryo glares at Uchi but then yamapi talks again* "I'm sorry to interrupt you while you're phone-sexing Ueda-kun." *Ryo swallows his saliva* "Eh?"
"Uchi told me you phone-sex Ueda-kun once in a while hiding in here, I wanted to know if it was true, so you know what, I'm just gonna go and, well actually WE're both gonna go and leave you, finish your business, okay?"
Ryo looks at Uchi, mentally thanking him for lying but at the same time, cursing him for the upcoming rumours Jin will share once Yamapi told him.
Tatsuya was waiting as Ryoko and her "father" said their lines to each other. As he set on the fake stairs behind Ryoko waiting before his re-entrance his cell phone rang in his pocket. Everyone look over at him and he fumbled trying to pull the phone out of his pocket, unfortunately he'd barely gotten the phone out of his pocket on the second ring before it stopped ringing and "one missed call" flashed on the screen.
Checking the call, he sighed as Ryo's name showed up. Ryo had called him and then hung up before the older male could talk to him. Tatsuya sighed and lowered the phone to his side. Did Ryo really want to talk to him? If he did then why did he just hang up after two rings. He was just about to re-dial Ryo's phone number when his turn to come back on stage showed up.
He pocketed the phone and fell back into character, repeating the lines of the play just like he was supposed to.
After checking every side door to his for 20 minutes, being sure he's finally alone, and after locking the door this time, he dials Ueda again. And thanx to his idiot of a friends, his nervousness just went poof! He would thank them later, maybe. ~bu bu bu~
"......maybe he's busy..."
After let it rung enough, Ryo hangs up again.
"Damn! Just when I have time to call"
*T* "I've tried to call you but you seem busy. I'll call you again later"
Tatsuya was in the middle of fencing practice when his phone rang again. This time he ignored it but not before it broke his concentration and "Tybalt's" foil slapped him on the wrist.
"Ouch!"
"I'm sorry, Ueda-san."
"No it's okay." *shakes his hand*
*Director* "Alright! Time for a break!"
Tatsuya sighs as his phone went off again and he reached into his pocket to grab it.
This time it was a text message and after reading it. He sheathed the foil and went to write a text back.
*T* I'm sorry. I was in the middle of fencing practice. We have a break now, if you want to try again.
Ryo's practising on his guitar when his phone vibrates on the table. After reading the text from Tatsuya, he calls him again. ~bu bu bu~
"Hai! Moshi Mosh~"
"Hello? Tatsuya? Are you not busy anymore?"
"Not right now. We have a little break."
"........"
" How are you?"
"I miss your voice on mornings..only you can wake me up hime"
"I miss you too. Especially at night before I go to sleep."
"AH! that reminds me I dreamt of you last night!"
"Just last night?"
"I don't remember the other nights. But I know last night had you in it"
"Oh, really? What was it about?"
"..Hum I'm not sure...it was weird, but I felt happy when I woke up"
"I see."
"So.."
"..........................."
"I have to talk to you today, so are you free today?
I mean you have a break sometimes this afternoon? For what? I need to take you somewhere."
"You mean.... I'll get to.... see you?"
"Yes.."
"You think that's... a good idea? I mean, I want to see you! It's just...."
"Don't worry, we won't be alone, for I won't hurt you..."
"Ryo..... I have a lunch break in about an hour."
"...Okay. I'm at the jimusho right now. I...can you..drive yet?"
"My ankle's almost completely healed. I have to take it easy but...I can drive again.
You need me to pick you up?"
"...Well I could take the metro to get to where you are, but after, yes, if you can drive us somewhere, that'd be nice of you"
"You said we wouldn't be alone. Who... else is going to be there?"
"We could take the metro together but we would bring attention I think...
Ah! yes well none from the jimusho actually. I mean there will be people where we're going, but not during the drive. Are you okay? with me alone in a car?"
"I... I don't know. Ryo I have to be honest. I don't now how much more my heart can take."
Ryo's heart is aching from hearing Tatsuya saying those words, but he can't help it.
"Hime...I'm sorry.
I'll have someone accompany us then, if the thought of having me with you all alone is scary"
"I know.... I know you mean it when you say you're sorry.
And it's not that I'm scared of you. I'm not! I'm just afraid of what will happen."
"I guess you can be. I know I am too.
I'm really scared to lose you, but if that happens...I don't know what I'll do, promise me to fully listen to me?"
"Of course I will. I'll listen to you and I'll try to understand. I can't lose you either. I don't know if I could live without you."
Ryo grasps onto his heart tightly, he really can't take it when Tatsuya talks like this, it makes him teary.
"I can't live without you either, that's why I have to fix everything; so I'll see you in an hour then?"
"Yes, in an hour. I have to go back to practicing. I'll see you then...."
"Understood. see you Tatsuya"
Ryo hangs up his phone and put it back into his pocket.
"Bye..." *He says after Ryo's hung up, the dial tone screaming at him*
Slowly he closes the phone and puts it away going back to the stage to continue with his practice for that night's performance.
Hoping that the next hour would past by fast and completely unaware that his attacks were a lot heavier and stronger than was really necessary. He didn't actually wake up from his trance until the foil left his opponent's hand and they had dodged out of his way. The next several moments were filled with apologies for his unnecessary behavior.
Ryo takes a hold of Yamapi and tells him he'll be back later that day. Probably later afternoon.
He then calls Uchi, and askes him to accompany him somewhere. Uchi nods, telling him he has to practice some dance routines anyway, he could catch up later.
The two get out of the building, and proceed to the nearest station. During the commute, Ryo explains to his friend why they have to go fetch Tatsuya, and what he's gonna tell him. He also asks him to stop him if ever Ryo snaps or just makes something he shouldn't do, like screaming at his lover or hurting him, physically.
Uchi looks at him sympathetically, and just nods.
"I won't interfere Ryo, nothing's gonna happen! You've been clean for the past two days, it's gonna be okay."
"I'm not on drugs Uchi! Well almost, but it's just to say! In case something happens, just stop me okay? Punch me or something!"
"Don’t come crying after!"
"As if you’d really hurt me!"
They just laugh out loud though the circumstances are not laughable.
When they arrive at the theater, Uchi tells Ryo he will wait outside.
Tatsuya's sitting in his dressing room waiting for Ryo to show up. He'd been there for the last fifteen minutes after the director had decreed that practices were over when Tatsuya had continued to mess up his lines and was unable to concentrate. He had lain his head on the dressing table top and had fallen into a half-sleep, were he was aware of everything going on around him but not necessarily completely conscious.
Ryo enters throuth the main door, no fans nor audience are to be here at this hour anyway, spots the main desk and asks for the cast entrance. Of course, the lady can't tell him, hell she doesn't even recognize him! Fuming a little, he texts Tatsuya saying he can't get past the entrance cause they won't let him.
Tapping his foot on the floor cause he's getting impatient, he begins cursing under his breath when...
*Counter lady* "Please sir you're scaring the workers!"
Tatsuya opened his eyes when his cell phone went off and he lazily lifted his hand up to pick it up without lifting his head. Looking at the phone sideways, he read the message Ryo sent and sighed, finally pushing himself up to a sitting position. He checked his face in the mirror and frowned. Was he really ready for this? For seeing Ryo after so long? Seeing him after the younger male had broken his Heart. He nodded his head and exhaled heavily, grabbed his bag and headed towards the main desk where Ryo was waiting for him.
Tatsuya paused for just a second when he spotted Ryo but he gathered what courage he had and approached the counter.
"Ryo...?"
"Tats...Ueda-kun? I mean Ueda-kun!
Ahah!!! *to the desk lady* See I've told you I'm not a stalker!"
"Hum ano, so Ueda-kun...genki?"
"Don't antagonize the people that work here." *really tired sounding*
"I've been....*glances at the lady behind the counter* I'm fine."
Ryo bows to Tatsuya quite shakily. "Ah yeah sorry sorry Ueda-kun"
"Let's go."
"Yeah.."
Ueda walks to the door of the theater but remains silent. Ryo can't seem to find the right words.
"So...hehe...hum you're, you got skinner Tatsuya...are you eating properly?"
"I've been okay Ryo." *starts when he sees Uchi waiting for them outside and falters in his step for just a moment*
"? Why do you stop? Oh yeah Uchi.."
Tatsuya nods and almost raises his eyes to meet Ryo's for the first time but he stops himself before they actually look at each other.
"Tatsuya look at me. Please?"
Ryo is off to touch Ueda's chin but stops right before his fingers touch his skin.
He sighs, looks down, and suddenly he thinks their shoes look beautiful.
"It's okay, I won't ask you again; just, just go into the back of the car, I'll sit in front"
Tatsuya nods again, looking away to the side for a few moments before obeying Ryo's soft words. He opens the door to the car and climbs in.
Ryo thinks how Ueda really got skinner, probably because of him, and proceeds to enter the car too, when he caughts another sympathetic glance from uchi. His friend doesn't say anything, Ryo knows he's here to 'witness' them over, but most of all, he needs an emotionnal support, and Uchi's perfect for it.
As soon as they all climb into the car, Tatsuya sighs breaking the silence that coats the air.
Where are we....going? Uchi talks first.
"Hello to you too Ueda-kun! It's been a while since...Dream boys 2004!"
Ryo interjects "Uchi!"
"Ah I mean Countdown, yes I forgot about that...
So, I'm not telling you where we're going, but don't worry about it, princess, I mean babe, I'm the first to be called princess after all, we're not going to any weird place.
And I'm here to be sure you go there safely"
*Tatusya smiles ever so slightly* "Yes, it has been a while. Uchi-san. Okay. We should go then. I only have three hours before the I have to be back for the play tonight."
"Ah I guess we have to hurry then" *starts the engine*
"And please, call me Uchi-kun, don't go keigo on me Ueda-kun, I'm your kouhai now, even if I officially debuted before, don't forget I've been back to junior lever 1!"
Tatsuya nods and looks away, resting his chin on his fist as he looked out the window at Toyko's scenery as they drive by. And for most of the drive, no one dares to talk much, apart from when Ryo gives him directions.
When the car stops, they arrive in front of a building, where the sign indicates they're at a health center. Ryo looks really nervous, tighting his fits on his lap, almost never looking at Tatsuya, and Uchi looks at them from the rear-view mirror.
Tatsuya narrows his eyes thoughtfully as he stares at the building that the two have taken him too. Curiously he turns to ask about the place and catches Uchi's look in the mirror.
"I guess we need to go in right?"
"Then, I'll wait for you at the cafeteria okay? Just come back to me when you want to leave."
Ryo thanks his friend then turning to Tatsuya, asks him to follow him.
"Please just don't ask for now"
Tatsuya sighs and nods before getting out of the car. "Okay." *his response is a little cold*
He moves to the doors of the health center and waits for Ryo to join him and lead him where they need to go. Ryo hesitates a bit, but soon he himself is in front of the doors and enters the building, with Tatsuya behind.
*To the main desk* "I’m here to see Kojiro-sensei please."
"And you are?"
"Nishikido-san."
The secretary dials a number and after talking for a couple of minutes, she tells Ryo the doctor his on his way.
"Doctor?" *Tatsuya thinks to himself*
"Ah Nishikido-san! You're here! And right on time!"
"Hai. Sensei"
Ryo gestures Tatsuya to walk right behind him, as they follow the doctor to his office.
Tatsuya dimly feels like he's walking to the gallows. Almost as if he's on death-row. He gulped and unthinkingly reaches forward to take Ryo's hand in his. Tightening his fingers around the Osakan's hand nervously *his hand shaking*
The doctor looks at the gesture, surprised and smiles, and so is Ryo.
"Sensei, this is my friend, the one I told you about the other day?"
"Ah yes, nice to meet you..."
" Ueda. Ueda Tatsuya."
"I'm Kojiro Naohito, neurologist at Tokyo hospital, though here, in this health center, I'm just a therapist."
Tatsuya bows but doesn't remove his hand from Ryo's. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on, sensei. I'm really confused right now."
The doctor turns to look at Ryo "You didn't tell him?"
"..." *Ryo just nods guiltily*
"So how does it work? Are you okay? Feeling any different?"
"You tell me! "
"Well I don't know, tell me if something has changed."
"Hum, I don't think so, I didn't change, I mean nothing bad happened. Ah yes! Something happened right after I left you the other day!
"Oh the accident?" *Ryo looks at him dumbfounded* "I saw it on the news too Nishikido-san.
I told you it could affect you, tireness, eyes could get blurry, exhaustion getting over you..."
"You could have told me not to drive!"
"Well it makes sense Nishikido-san, don't you think so?"
"I guess...."
" But at least you're okay. So, I'll give you others that are not as strong as the ones you had."
*Tatsuya's just confused as he looks between the two* "What do you mean? What could effect you?" *looks at Ryo* "What aren't you telling me?"
The doctor hands ryo a prescription, he takes it then puts it into his pocket.
"Now you're gonna tell Ueda-kun here everything, we agreed on that Nishikido-san! And don't think because you're famous I won't pass on that!"
"Yes sensei, I know, that's what I planned today"
"Right. I'll leave the two of you alone. I'll be back in an hour max. I think you need time. I hope you're not here anymore when I get back!"
"..................Ryo? "
"Thank you sensei. I'll get them on our way out. I'll see you in another three days then!"
"No need too!! This one is for 6 months. Come back then! But call me if something happens again, like I told you."
"Hai, see you sensei."
*waits until the doctor is out of the room before turning to Ryo* "What's..........going on?"
"Tatsuya"
Ryo turns his back on Tatsuya, not wanting the over to look straight into his eyes.
"Tastuya, I have something to tell you; well obviously because you're here.
I didn't want to tell you before, didn't want to worry you"
"Ryo....."
"So one week or so, remember you told me I was not myself? I told you it was nothing but stress?, but actually it's more than that."
"Yes...........?"
"Tatsuya, I, *tears menacing to fall down on his cheek* I have schyzophrenia.......it's been in my family before"
"Schizophrenia?"
"Yes...I know I lied to you, and you probably don't trust me anymore, but I had to hide it! Even to the one I love!
You know how I told you my uncle's been missing for years, and none in the family know anything about his whereabouts...well, it?'s not exactly true.
He's, he's been in the custody of the Tokyo asylum, for the past eight years...way before I was able to know the meaning of that word.
He had, still has a high level of schizophrenia, and eight years ago, he used to say he could see his wife cheating on him, and guys following him on his way home, and probably more bizarre things happening to him..it was hallucinations...
He *now shedding bucket of tears* tried to murder someone he thought of being the man his wife cheated him with, and almost killed her in the process.
He pleaded innocent but his lawyier pleaded foolishness. He's now resting in the asylum, and his wife won't even visit him.
It was not entirely his fault, though he should have been treated right the moment he began to see things..
I began this treatment, I'm taking some pills, that make me stop seeing things, like concerning my life, and obviously yours, but because of the treatment, I get really fuzzy at times, and I can't drive in this state, that's probably why I shouldn't have driven the day I had that stupid accident, that got me everywhere in the news."
Tatsuya steps forward and wraps his hands around Ryo's waist, burying his face into Ryo's shoulder "I understand.
I wish you could have told me sooner.
"I know...I used to see and think you would leave me, cheat on me even, and that's how I became someone horrible, overly possessive and overly agressive.
The therapist told me being jealous is part of my nature, but I have to control the limit of it, if I want to lessen the damage, and above all, not lose you."
"I love you, Ryo. I know that sounds so cliche when I say you have nothing to worry about, but I can't think of any other way to say it. Whatever happens in the future... you have to trust me and trust that we can work through it together.
We're not perfect. I know that and we'll have ups and downs, but I think if we stay together it won't be so hard. I missed you a lot this past few days and... I realized that it was a lot harder to live my life without you beside me.
I still firmly believe that you won't turn into that type of person."
"So you forgive me? Forgive me for my madness, for my terrible actions towards our friends that I've been suspicious off, and forgive me for lying to you, I should have told you the truth a long time ago...I was so scared of your reaction..that you would leave me, because I'm a freak!"
"I do forgive you. It wasn't your fault."
"Tatsuya! Why didn't I tell you all of this before! Why didn't I trust you on this?!" *sobs hard* "I love you! I LOVE YOU!!!!"
Ryo cries hard in his lover's shoulders, neck, hair, almost screaming.
Surprised for a moment at Ryo's outburst but he smiles and soothes down the Osakan's hair gently "shhh~ shhh~"
*still sobbing* "fghh...fghh...fghh....don'ttt...leavvvv...me..please.."
"I promise. As long as you don't leave me. Even these last few days nearly killed me. "
"I'mm sorrry, I won''t ever again leave youu "
*Tatsuya smiles* "Hey, Ryo? Look at me."
*Ryo refuses to look*
"Ryo....please."
Ryo's lips are trembling, his eyes so wet look up, deep into Tatsuya's.
Tatsuya smiles and gently brushes his nose against Ryo's "I love you." *closes the gap and kisses him*
Ryo happily accepts the kiss, hesitates in responding to it, but his heart and body missed the other's lips so much he can't NOT kiss him back, so he does, but he's so vulnerable now he can't replies with passion, so he ends up kissing the other the best he can.
"Well *Tatsuya says after they separate* "I think you've lost your touch after nearly a week. You can't even kiss properly anymore." *very lightly taps his knuckles on Ryo's head* "We'll have to work on it."
"Eehh? it’s not funny Tatsuya."
*smiles teasingly* "But don't worry about it. I'm Romeo, after all."
"~fu fu fu ~~ and you're a teaser now I see!"
"As long as I got a smile out of you." *Tatsuya suddenly pouts cutely and places a finger against his lower lip, widening his eyes innocently* "Want to try that kiss again?"
"I guess I have to make up for the sloppy one.. but you have to lead...."
Tatsuya smiles and leans in again for the kiss but moving slowly and gently in an attempt to get Ryo fed up so he'll kiss back like the old Ryo.
Ryo can't take it and hungrily returns the kiss..and though they're not really in a good place to do that, he shoves the other on the floor and starts to make out right there by kissing his lover everywhere the skin is showing.
"Ryo...Kojiro-sensei will come back any minute now and I have to go back to the theater in two hours.
And Uchi-kun's waiting for us. Let's finish this somewhere else okay?"
"Ah yes!! you're right...besides, our first one after so long...I want it...home...OUR home..
Can I come back....?"
"Of course you can. I want you to come back home."
"Alright....I'll go there after you get back to the theater..Uchi will help me get my stuff back..
I have to tell you, Uchi's the one who knew everything, we grew up together, and he knows my family perfectly well..he actually accompanied me to the asylum..."
"I'm glad he was there to help you" *climbs to his feet* "We'll have to invite him over for dinner one day."
"Ah ah okay...by the way" *they proceed to the exit and on their way, Ryo picks up the new medication for the next 6 months* "now you know, I remember you wanted to meet my ....family?"
"Oh yeah... I'd like to but it doesn't have to be right now. I can wait."
"Yes of course not right now, I just wanted to let you know, now you know about me and my family, well, I just hope you're not scared enough.
In my family, they don't talk about it much..."
"I understand."
"Do you think your family would, accept me though?"
"I don't know....*sighs* But hey!"
"Ah....YES?!"
"If we can manage this kind of problem and stay together, I'm pretty sure we can tackle our parents."
"hee hee hee...! you're so cute, my dear princess" Ryo gives Tatsuya a peck on the cheek.
"Ryo, I'm glad you're back. "
"And I'm glad I'm back, for you, and that you accept the "new" me
I promise to try harder at the improvement of my own self, cause I can't be protecting you if I can't be sane"
"I'll hold you too that. I love you, Ryo."
Ryo gives another kiss to Tatsuya, this times on the lips, then he embraces him tenderly, smelling his neck, hair, he doesn't even care if people see him.
"Oi! You two! Over here! Quick!!!! It's past the time!
You don't even think of doing what you think you're doing in public! In front of a health center for godsake!"
"Tssssskk"
"Don't tssk me!"
"Well at least it'd be healthy." *Ueda laughs*
"Ueda-kun? You think it's healthy? Try with Johnny-san in front of you! You'll know if it's healthy!"
"Come one Uchi..."
"Five minutes! Five minutes only, I'm not looking!"
Ryo turns back to Ueda and continues what he was doing.
The five minutes pass and they are forced to get away from each other, but not for long, cause when they enter the car, they hold each other tight, 'till the end of the drive.
Uchi smiles fondly at the pair "I want to be loved tooooo"
"Start driving!"
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ A couple of weeks later ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Ryo goes home after a long day of work, really tired, but as soon as he enters the bathroom for a nice hot appeasing shower, something comes to his mind.
"Ah yeah that's today, I need to hurry"
This past week was full of appearances with Kanjani in his very own Osaka, and though he was happy being with his friends, he was happier for tonight.
So after a quick shower, he goes and dresses very casually, takes off to the train station, and proceeds to get to the center of the town. When he arrives, he enters the theater, today he's gonna to watch him, onstage.
Yes, today is Ueda's first show in Osaka, and Ryo has already promised his boyfriend he'd be there. He didn't forget about it, NO, he could not forget. And today nothing was going to ruin the mood, definitely not.
So when he enters the back entrance, past the security guards and some staff, showing his special ticket and obviously his face, he feels the need to see Tatsuya right away, just to tell him he's here, and that he kept his promise. But someone tells him he has to go to his seat now, and that he will see Ueda-san at the interlude. Being the overly impatient Osaka Man, he reluctantly backs off, sulking but nods.
When the play starts, feeling somewhat nervous but happy, seeing his Tatsuya in what he had already imagined himself in, is very appealing to him. And when the interlude is coming, he'll surely go to see his lover. Just to greet him, naturally.
Running off to see him, he finds himself lost in the crowd that took off for some refreshments. So there is his luck! Almost reaching for the backstage when the bells for warning the interlude is finished, sighing he goes back again to his place. He could always see him afterwards right?
Then, sitting down, he feels his phone vibrate. Thinking it could be a text from Tatsuya he reads it. And indeed, it’s one from his lover "I heard you were looking for me. Come meet me afterwards in my dressing room. I'll reward you for keeping your promise. Your princess".
Ryo was beyond happy. Tatsuya knew he came! Plus he'll get a reward!! How much he wanted the play to finish already!
So when the play does ends, the cast bowing and waving to the audience, Ueda looks for his boyfriend through all the faces, and there, in the middle of it all, stands his cute Ryo, sobbing a little, hiding its head under a cap. No way Ueda's going to call him onstage for a Johnny's get-together special guest appearance like they always do! First they don't interract with each other, publicly; second, well, Ryo's crying..but when Ueda chuckles and smiles at him, his boyfriend stops doing so...
Yes, today was a good day. And there will be many more of it.
A/N : You can tell who’s been writing fics for some time right?
Gaillen knows how to use words, I don’t. Plus I’ve been terrible in english these past years, sorry for the lack of smartness from me/Ryo
Also, maybe some of you noticed some hints to Lord of The Rings and HanaDan? Sorry I didn't do it on purpose. It just happened.
Pairing : RyoDa obviously
Authors : gaillen & creamy_amande
Rating : I'd say safe, maybe some rude words that’s all
Genre : Crack, fluff, angst
Summary : Again, gaillen & me roleplayed. And again, it was spontaneous, we were discussing how now there were girls in RESCUE's PV and I was what you call a bit jealous over it, and in my memory of fangirl, it was the first time I saw girls, but then she said there were in DUES; but I was all "well it's different in a nightclub right?"
Though it's not a sequel of our first RP. This one turned out to be more serious and wayyy longer!!!
part 1 || part 2
Trying is better than nothing. After almost 2 hours calling everyone from his family to friends and collegues, reassuring themselves he's okay, and that he has just blinked 2 seconds because of exhaustion before the accident to happen, his now only task is to call Kame. Okay not right now. Maybe in a few minutes, after he decides what to tell him. Or lie. Again.
In the end, one hour will pass before he really calls him, cause you know, he was scared...and had to build up a lie, in case Kamenashi wouldn't know about the accident. And he still has to see if the pills work, or not.
*Shoon* "Ueda-senpai!"
Tatsuya turned wearily to the door of his dressing room and sighed.
"Yes, Yamashita-kun?"
"I think you need to come see this, it could be important."
Tatsuya glanced over at his older band mate only to find that Nakamaru was asleep and flat out snoring on his sofa.
"Okay. One second."
Grabbing up his bottle of water and taking several sips of the cool liquid before following the younger Jyanni into the rest room. The TV was playing on one of the news channels and Tatsuya sighed wondering what it was that Shoon wanted to show him. The next moment Tatsuya gasped and the bottle of water slipped from his hand to bounce on the floor and splash water across the bottom of his jeans as his boyfriend's name appeared on the news screen in relation to an vehicle accident.
After listening to the report, Tatsuya turned and ran back to his dressing room grabbing his cell phone. He was halfway through dialing Ryo's number before he stopped himself. Even with it being a car accident, he shouldn't call the other. They weren't back on speaking terms yet and Tatsuya knew that his call wouldn't be accepted. It took all the strength he had to put the phone away slowly.
Walking over to Nakamaru, he shook the older male gently. After he had woke up, Tatsuya asked if Nakamaru could take him home and the older male agreed. As Nakamaru was grabbing Tatsuya's things, the boxer sighed. "Please be alright, Ryo."
Ryo wanders in the jimusho, looking for the perfect hidden place, where he could call Kamenashi, withouth being heard by someone else. ~bu bu bu~
Kame bowed as the director for the drama told everyone that it was a wrap and was headed back to the dressing room when his phone went off. He picked it up from the dressing table and glanced at the caller ID.
"Moshi Mosh~? Nishikido?"
*almost whispering* "Yes, Nishikido here"
"So Kamenashi, you..hum don't know how to say it, but I think I might need a raincheck about, the reason I'm not myself.."
"Why would that be? You promised you'd tell me what's going on."
"I know, by the way, do you happen to have seen the news today?"
"Not yet. I've been in the studio all day filming for Kami no Shizuku. Why?"
"Ah okay, I guess I have to tell you the truth then...Just be there for Tatsuya if he breaks down you know"
"Why would he break down anymore than he already is? And the whole point of this conversation is for you to tell me the truth. Were you really thinking of lying to me?"
"I !...I just wanted to save time, sorry. I'll tell you the truth, but..I'm still experimenting so, if it doesn't work, I don't know what I would do.
So Kamenashi, the truth is...I...
I have schizophrenia...and I just started treatment"
"Schizophrenia?"
"Yeahh...I know I should tell the truth to Tatsuya but I'm scared you know."
"Why not? I think he should know what's going on."
"Because I have to be sure it won't affect him more! Don't you get it?! I hurt him because of it!"
"I fucking hurt HIM! I'm a monster!"
"That's even more reason to explain it to him!"
"NO! If this treatment does not work I want him to forget about me...I want him to move on"
"Nishikido! You might think you're a monster and you say you hurt him, but by lying to him to hurt him even more.
He loves you. And something like that isn't easy to forget!"
"I love him too and that's why I need time..to try and heal, see if it works"
"How much time, Nishikido? How long will the treatment take?"
"I don't know, just a couple of days, but the treatment is for life actually.
I'll have to take pills all my goddamn life"
"But if it works, isn't it good enough to just take pills for your entire life as long as you and Tatsuya are happy?"
"Yes! But I have to see if it works already for a few days! And if it doesn't, and there is no other treatment..."
"Nishikido, you need to tell Tat-chan. If it does work, you'll have his support."
"And if it doesn't?"
"If it doesn't work, he'll be heartbroken."
"What choice do I have? if it does not work I don't want him to stay with me and be hurt again!"
"He'll be heartbroken if you don't explain why you have to leave him."
"...but he'll be heartbroken anyway right?! might tell him and leave him anyway.."
"At least he'll understand."
"You really think so Kamenashi?"
"You're doing it for him right? "
"Of course I do!"
"Do you really want him to hate you when you leave without explanation? Do you want him to think that it was his fault you left?
He will you know. He'll blame himself because that is who Tat-chan is."
"If he hates me then he would forget me easier.
No it wouldn't be his fault! I! I don't know anymore..I thought I was perfectly right about all of this..and now I doubt"
"Nishikido, what you're doing isn't wrong. Keeping it a secret is. Talk to him. He'd much rather hear it from you first."
"So I guess if I don't talk to him soon you will tell him and he won't recover from my lying?"
"I don't want to break your trust, but I don't want to break Tat-chan's heart. If he learns that I'M lying to him......
I don't want to do that."
"...you're a true friend to his Kame aren't you?"
"I love Tat-chan. He's like a brother to me. I don't want to see him hurt. And this will break his heart if he doesn't learn the truth from the one he loves. That's you, Nishikido."
"Guess you made a point. You're right, he has to know, I just didn't want it to be that soon, not after I just started taking pills"
"Alright, I can understand that wish. Give it a few days. I did say you had to talk to him at the end of the week time limit. Wait until then. That'll give you time to see if it works, right?"
"Yes...but now I don't know anymore
I'm afraid. Afraid that he will leave me sooner that I thought, and that would be because I waited too long to tell him the truth"
"Well, you need to at least text him. Tell him you're sorry and that you love him. Tell him that you'll explain later. Don't just leave him hanging."
Even if you don't explain it then. At least let him know that you still love him."
"Yes I think you're right. I could do that. It's not like he will go seek confort to Nakamaru, right?" *disconforting laugh* "Right?!"
"Honestly, I lied about Nakamaru and Tat-chan. They're just friends. Nakamaru's dating this girl from his college right now.
I just wanted you to get a little uncomfortable."
"EHHHHHH.?!"
"To push you into talking to Tat-chan."
"Can't believe you played me Kamaneshi!
It's cruel ! And really not funny! I really thought about it you know!"
"I know and I'm sorry. But I wanted you to realize that you needed Tat-chan. I really wanted you to talk to Tat-chan."
"I'm sorry I made you do this, sorry to have put you through this Kamenashi, I know how you hate dishonesty"
"It's okay but I'm sorry you and Tat-chan have to go through this. Ryo, if you need to talk to someone you can always call me. But please, do something about you and Tatsuya.
I won't say anything to Tat-chan. But only if you promise to tell him yourself."
"I promise, I'm glad I got to talk to you, you know, really.
I didn't know you were like this, thank you. Guess I've misjudged you all these years.
Okay then I'll take your word on that new friendship we have okay? I mean if you consider me your friend, I promise to honour it"
"Good luck, Nishikido. I hope everything works out for you in the end. And I hope you get better."
"Thanx! Work hard on your drama! Talk to you later!"
"Goodbye." *hangs up*
Sighing for the nthest time this week, Ryo types some words into his cellphone, probably texting Tatsuya as Kamenashi recommanded he does, for the sake of not lying anymore to his lover.
*T* "Oi! I mean...Hello Tatsuya. It's Ryo! Well you probably already know since you have my number...or maybe you already erased it? I hope you didn't, I'd kick your ass! No of course not I wouldn't, but in case you really erased it, it's okay, I'd understand...
So I'm sorry for not getting in touch with you these past days, I’m trying to fix something, it's important I do it, and I won't much see you for the coming 2-3 days again, and I'm sorry again for being a bad boyfriend Tatsuya. I hope you would forgive me or at least wait till I explain everything to you. I promise I will. I love you, don't doubt that okay? Your monkey."
Tatsuya blinked when his phone went off on the kitchen table. He put the kettle and mug down on the counter and picked the phone up before reading the text message from Ryo and then smiled, softly before writing a return text.
*T* "Of course I didn't erase your number. I hope whatever it is will end soon and you can come back to me. I saw your accident on the news. Please be okay Ryo. I miss you and I love you. I’ll wait until you can tell me what's going on. Just please come back to me soon. Your princess.
PS : don't ever doubt that I love you and I always will no matter what happens."
Ryo, being the sensitive that he is, at least behind closed doors, just smiled fondly at Ueda's text. Thinking he really did a mistake by not trusting Tatsuya as much as he would have, he begins texting him back and when he's going to send it, he pushes the dial button instead.
"Do I end this or not? Do I, do I ...."
"Moshi Mosh?"
"Do I... hsuahaHai! Tatsu...ya?"
"Ryo....?"
*now totally happy* "Are you okay?"
"I'm better now that I can hear you voice. I miss you, Ryo."
"Me too, princess"
"I know, I've already forgiven you.
Are you okay? I saw your accident. Can you tell me...Do you know what happened?"
"You saw my accident? Ah yeah, I'm alright, perfectly okay to tell you.
Just got a few scratches, but the lady I hurt has an injured neck. I guess I was, hum, tired"
"I hope she'll be okay. And I'm glad you're okay. Don't overwork yourself, Ryo."
"No it's not work. Don't worry, I've always been able to manage between my groups
How's your ankle? I heard about it by Kamenashi"
"It's better. I can't really walk on it to well but it's getting better. I'm still limping" *laughs*
"I'm sorry Tatsuya, sorry I hurt you, physically, and emotionally
I didn't want it you know that? *laughs sarcastically* "I'm not...DV"
"Ryo...I know and trust my Ryo. I know that isn't you. I don't know what's going on but I know that I trust you.
I know that whatever is going on, you'll be fine and you'll get better. I also know that eventually you'll come back to me. I trust you Ryo and I love you. "
"That is soo corny hime!"
"Ryo..." *sigh*
"Gomen gomen gomen! You're cute, and I miss your cuteness...
Oh by the way, is Nakamaru really going out with a college girl?"
"Where did that come from? And who told you? It's suppose to be a secret"
"Hurgh I heard something, from, Yamapi!"
"Yamashita? How would he know?"
"Kamenashi! Kamenashi told him! That's how I know"
"You mean Kame told you. But yes, Yucchi has a girlfriend. Her name's Kaede if I remember correctly. Real cute girl. She's totally Yucchi's type."
"No No Kame didn't tell me! I'm no friends with Kame you remember?!
How Ryo would explain to Tatsuya he's been "coached" by Kamenashi? Add to the fact Kamenashi knew his secret before Tatsuya.
But it's okay, I won't tell, you know me"
"Why did you want to know? "
"I just wanted to confirm something. It's good to know he's straight.
That didn't come out right. I like being gay, but there are already too many gays in the Johnnys..."
"Whatever. Just make sure it stays a secret that's he dating. You know how the jimusho frowns upon relationship."
"Yes I KNOW., We both are too"
"Yes, that's why I'm not afraid to confirm it to you."
"You can trust me about these things Tatsuya, I'm a johnnys too, won't tell on friends.
So what are you gonna do now? are you working? or studying on your play?"
"I'm at home now. Just going through my lines for the play.
It starts in a few days. Are you still going to make it to the first day in Osaka?"
"You're home? Oh..oh..Sorry I can't go back home either. I miss you though, at nights, being alone is, scary"
"Ryo?" *the sound of soft crying comes over the phone* "How long are you going to be away?"
*refuses to let his sobs be heard* "3 days. Probably. Just to be sure. It's working.
I have NewS right now, so maybe we'll see each other, in the jimusho, but just furtively
I promise it'll go fast, these 3 days."
"I don't know if I can stand those three days." *sobs* "But if it's necessary, I'll keep my distance."
*sighs* "Tatsuya please don't cry. Please be strong, you ARE stronger than me, and not only physically I know it.
I'm just an insensitive boyfriend but please fight this, for me."
"I'm *hic* trying. But I..."
" You...? Tatsuya what?"
"I'm sorry. "
"Sorry for what!? I'm the one that keeps hurting you!"
*Ueda is flat out crying now and can't talk*
"Tatsuya? TATSUYA! ...oh god i'm sorry, I did it, again
You know what, I'm gonna hang up now okay? I should have been back minutes ago to the others, and you have to wait for me.. please do, wait for me.
I can't hear you crying on the phone, I can't take it
"Ryo...Ryo...I love you."
"I'll have to go look for you right away, but now I can't. So I'll just, hang up"
"Goodbye."
" I love you, princess." *hangs up*
And now it's Ryo's turn to cry...but then Yamapi comes backs again to scream at him for not coming back decades ago *to Yamapi's opinion*
While in NewS room, Ryo texts a murderous text to Kame *T* "you REALLY lied to me about Nakamaru did you!...thank you Kame
Kame sighed as his phone went off again. He shifted the groceries in his arms and dug his phone out of his pocket and read the text that Ryo had sent him. He smiled and slipped the phone back into his pocket. *T* "Your welcome, Ryo."
Two days have passed since Ryo called Ueda. For the past two days, Ryo had been taking his medication quite methodically, he would take one at ten in the morning, then during lunch, he would swallow another one. They were strong, really, but he has to take them. The doctor said he could give him some lesser ones if they were tiring him too much . Plus he had a job, where he needed to pay attention carefully, while in concerts for exemple.
He feels rather nauseus at times, specially when the sun goes down, and so tonight, when Ueda will be onstage for his butai premiere, he'll probably call someone to tell him about how Ueda was shining and all, but he won't go there. No, tonight is his last day of trying the first batch of pills, he ain't gonna end up sleeping while his princess is performing.
So when darkness comes around, he mails Ueda, knowing this will be the time his lover can see his text, before going onstage.
*T* "Tatsuya, I don’t know if you have time to read your mails, I don't even kow if you're eating or if you're gonna go onstage right now, but I want to tell you something : Break a leg! I know that's how theater people tell others good luck.
By the way, I love you, and I'll probably call you tomorrow. Ryo"
Tatsuya sighed and fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt as he waited anixously for the opening cue. He was nothing but a bundle of nerves right now and was starting to feel really nauseated. He fought the urge to reach up and scratch his nose because it would mess up his make-up.
He shifted his weight and tapped his foot on the ground. A second later there was a knock on the door and he looked over at the entrance to his dressing room. An attendent looked in and told him that the start would be in ten minutes and that he should get to his place. He nodded, determinedly and stood.
As he was walking towards the door his phone went off and he started with a yelp. The noise had startled him a lot more than he thought it would and he blushed before walking over to the phone still sitting on his vanity. It was a message from Ryo. It was the first contact with Ryo he had had for the last two days. He read the text ignoring the call of the attendant outside the door.
He wrote a quick text back. *T* "Thanks. I'll try my best. I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow."
With that he couldn't avoid his fate any longer and was forced to leave the dressing room to go on stage. He sighed and smiled as brightly as possible as he left the dressing room. He was already looking forward to his phone call with Ryo the next day.
Two hours passed after that. He was watching TV, barely skipping through channels, as he had nothing to do, or think of. Then he remembered something; the text he sent Tatsuya made him forget the most important thing tonight! He was starving! It's as if his stomach was gone with his nervous self, and forgot to eat; it was already past 10pm. But what could he eat at this hour? He got out of his apartment, hurriedly ran down the stairs, and arrived, panting, in front of the convini, a few meters away of his residence.
"God I love my country!"
He thought about buying some ingredients to cook something, but he was too hungry to even think of spending time in the kitchen, plus it was late.
So he spent more than 20 minutes picking up 2 different bentos, you know, just for the fun of eating various things, plus he had to add 6 bottles of cold green tea to go with, sure he was an addict to the drink.
After he got back to his apartment, he gobbled up the food, drank 2 of the tea bottles, took a shower, drank another bottle while reading a book, then went to bed.
But first, he texted his koukai Shoon demanding for a full report of the play. Yes, sempai are scary....That night, Ryo dreamt of a Tatsuya in tights, fencing against Juliet, for his love.
Or was it Ryo fencing against Juliet for Tatsuya's love? In his dreams he could fight her, but it's not like he would tell his lover about his unpromising thoughts...not like he'd remember the next day anyway...
After getting home from the play, Tatsuya set at his vanity in his room and buried his face in his hands. The play had been an success so he wasn't worried about that, he wasn't really worried about anything. He was just completely sapped of all energy and left with absolutely nothing. Feeling both exhausted and a little sick from the fact that his stomach was no longer bunched up into knots, he finally managed to drag himself to his bed wondering just when Ryo would call him tomorrow.
That led him to another question. Just when was Ryo going to come back to him? He was so lonely recently. He couldn't even sleep very well at night and was given to break down at the slightest thing. He fell asleep before he could even think of an answer.
Morning came rather quickly. Ryo woke up with a good feeling, something he hasn't felt for days. He tought he had a weird dream, but he felt rather happy from it, like he had accomplished something. He just doesn't know why and what about. But that was still okay.
He knew when he woke up that today was a special day. Many things were to happen. He remembered he had to call Tatsuya today, but not just when he got up.
So after a nice shower and a little breakfast, (he DID ate a lot yesterday), he got off to the jimusho. It was around 10 when he arrived.
Yamapi was already there to greet him, as usual. So when Ryo came in to the room, his friend greeted with a usual "OHAYON Ryo-chan!" Even though he was happy, the loud hello from Yamapi was just too annoying, but he just replied as cheerfully to his friend while pinching his butt, for payback.
"Have you seen Uchi yet?"
"Huh Ryo I don't think Uchi's here today, but why? DO you need him for something? I can replace him you know, for whatever reasons you have."
"No thanx Pi, the last thing I need today is for a baka friend to help me."
"Hidoii!!! "
"huhuhu, I'm joking Pi, I wanted to talk to him but guess I can't. It's alright, it's not that important anyway, I'll call him later."
"Okay!"
And Yamapi proceeds to the door in hoping of greeting the other members of NewS the same way he did Ryo.
After waking that morning and showering, Tatsuya made his way to the meeting with the director of the play. He skipped breakfast simply because he still wasn't feeling all that well from last night. He sighed as he looked through the papers that set on the table in front of him, waiting for the rest of the cast to arrive for the meeting. They had a lot of things to talk about for the play last night and possibly change for tonight's play.
The door opened to admit Ryoko and Shoon. They greeted him cheerfully but Tatsuya sighed, glancing down at his phone. The director came in shortly after and they began talking but Tatsuya wasn't really paying attention as he continously flipped his phone open and closed. Ryoko sitting next to him noticed and leaned over slightly to hold a whispered conversation.
"Are you okay, Ueda-san?"
"Yes, I'm fine."
"Expecting a phone call from someone?"
"I'm hoping he'll call me soon."
"Ahh~ Nishikido-kun, ne?"
*sighs* "Yeah."
"You haven't talked about him much lately. Had a lover's spat?"
Tatsuya frowned and looked away, leaving Ryoko to look guilty. She was only teasing she didn't realize that that would hurt the man's feelings.
She reached over to gently touch his shoulder in support but the director immediately called attention to the both of them.
"Ueda-san, Kobayashi-san leave the love relationship for on stage."
Both ended up blushing and Tatsuya sank lower in his chair while the rest of the cast chuckled.
Tatsuya fervently wished the meeting would end soon and Ryo would call him. He was desperated to hear the Osakan's voice.
Ryo takes the opportunity of a little break to go hide somewhere, again, fishes out his phone, and dials Tatsuya. Two bips are heard and it only takes all his self control to get over his trembling hands and sweaty palms when he hears a loud thump against the door. And a Yamapi+Uchi falling over. Ryo just hungs up instantly.
"WHAT THE F*CK! I'm trying to call here! And Uchi, what are you doing here?!"
"Sorry! We're really sorry Ryo!"
"Yamapi called me and when I told him I was already there since early, he went to find me at the juniors aisle! I had to tell him Ryo, I'm sorry."
"WHAT?! What did you tell him?!"
"Gomen ne Ryo-chan, Uchi-kun didn't want to tell me but I had him say it. I. I don't know what to say." *Ryo glares at Uchi but then yamapi talks again* "I'm sorry to interrupt you while you're phone-sexing Ueda-kun." *Ryo swallows his saliva* "Eh?"
"Uchi told me you phone-sex Ueda-kun once in a while hiding in here, I wanted to know if it was true, so you know what, I'm just gonna go and, well actually WE're both gonna go and leave you, finish your business, okay?"
Ryo looks at Uchi, mentally thanking him for lying but at the same time, cursing him for the upcoming rumours Jin will share once Yamapi told him.
Tatsuya was waiting as Ryoko and her "father" said their lines to each other. As he set on the fake stairs behind Ryoko waiting before his re-entrance his cell phone rang in his pocket. Everyone look over at him and he fumbled trying to pull the phone out of his pocket, unfortunately he'd barely gotten the phone out of his pocket on the second ring before it stopped ringing and "one missed call" flashed on the screen.
Checking the call, he sighed as Ryo's name showed up. Ryo had called him and then hung up before the older male could talk to him. Tatsuya sighed and lowered the phone to his side. Did Ryo really want to talk to him? If he did then why did he just hang up after two rings. He was just about to re-dial Ryo's phone number when his turn to come back on stage showed up.
He pocketed the phone and fell back into character, repeating the lines of the play just like he was supposed to.
After checking every side door to his for 20 minutes, being sure he's finally alone, and after locking the door this time, he dials Ueda again. And thanx to his idiot of a friends, his nervousness just went poof! He would thank them later, maybe. ~bu bu bu~
"......maybe he's busy..."
After let it rung enough, Ryo hangs up again.
"Damn! Just when I have time to call"
*T* "I've tried to call you but you seem busy. I'll call you again later"
Tatsuya was in the middle of fencing practice when his phone rang again. This time he ignored it but not before it broke his concentration and "Tybalt's" foil slapped him on the wrist.
"Ouch!"
"I'm sorry, Ueda-san."
"No it's okay." *shakes his hand*
*Director* "Alright! Time for a break!"
Tatsuya sighs as his phone went off again and he reached into his pocket to grab it.
This time it was a text message and after reading it. He sheathed the foil and went to write a text back.
*T* I'm sorry. I was in the middle of fencing practice. We have a break now, if you want to try again.
Ryo's practising on his guitar when his phone vibrates on the table. After reading the text from Tatsuya, he calls him again. ~bu bu bu~
"Hai! Moshi Mosh~"
"Hello? Tatsuya? Are you not busy anymore?"
"Not right now. We have a little break."
"........"
" How are you?"
"I miss your voice on mornings..only you can wake me up hime"
"I miss you too. Especially at night before I go to sleep."
"AH! that reminds me I dreamt of you last night!"
"Just last night?"
"I don't remember the other nights. But I know last night had you in it"
"Oh, really? What was it about?"
"..Hum I'm not sure...it was weird, but I felt happy when I woke up"
"I see."
"So.."
"..........................."
"I have to talk to you today, so are you free today?
I mean you have a break sometimes this afternoon? For what? I need to take you somewhere."
"You mean.... I'll get to.... see you?"
"Yes.."
"You think that's... a good idea? I mean, I want to see you! It's just...."
"Don't worry, we won't be alone, for I won't hurt you..."
"Ryo..... I have a lunch break in about an hour."
"...Okay. I'm at the jimusho right now. I...can you..drive yet?"
"My ankle's almost completely healed. I have to take it easy but...I can drive again.
You need me to pick you up?"
"...Well I could take the metro to get to where you are, but after, yes, if you can drive us somewhere, that'd be nice of you"
"You said we wouldn't be alone. Who... else is going to be there?"
"We could take the metro together but we would bring attention I think...
Ah! yes well none from the jimusho actually. I mean there will be people where we're going, but not during the drive. Are you okay? with me alone in a car?"
"I... I don't know. Ryo I have to be honest. I don't now how much more my heart can take."
Ryo's heart is aching from hearing Tatsuya saying those words, but he can't help it.
"Hime...I'm sorry.
I'll have someone accompany us then, if the thought of having me with you all alone is scary"
"I know.... I know you mean it when you say you're sorry.
And it's not that I'm scared of you. I'm not! I'm just afraid of what will happen."
"I guess you can be. I know I am too.
I'm really scared to lose you, but if that happens...I don't know what I'll do, promise me to fully listen to me?"
"Of course I will. I'll listen to you and I'll try to understand. I can't lose you either. I don't know if I could live without you."
Ryo grasps onto his heart tightly, he really can't take it when Tatsuya talks like this, it makes him teary.
"I can't live without you either, that's why I have to fix everything; so I'll see you in an hour then?"
"Yes, in an hour. I have to go back to practicing. I'll see you then...."
"Understood. see you Tatsuya"
Ryo hangs up his phone and put it back into his pocket.
"Bye..." *He says after Ryo's hung up, the dial tone screaming at him*
Slowly he closes the phone and puts it away going back to the stage to continue with his practice for that night's performance.
Hoping that the next hour would past by fast and completely unaware that his attacks were a lot heavier and stronger than was really necessary. He didn't actually wake up from his trance until the foil left his opponent's hand and they had dodged out of his way. The next several moments were filled with apologies for his unnecessary behavior.
Ryo takes a hold of Yamapi and tells him he'll be back later that day. Probably later afternoon.
He then calls Uchi, and askes him to accompany him somewhere. Uchi nods, telling him he has to practice some dance routines anyway, he could catch up later.
The two get out of the building, and proceed to the nearest station. During the commute, Ryo explains to his friend why they have to go fetch Tatsuya, and what he's gonna tell him. He also asks him to stop him if ever Ryo snaps or just makes something he shouldn't do, like screaming at his lover or hurting him, physically.
Uchi looks at him sympathetically, and just nods.
"I won't interfere Ryo, nothing's gonna happen! You've been clean for the past two days, it's gonna be okay."
"I'm not on drugs Uchi! Well almost, but it's just to say! In case something happens, just stop me okay? Punch me or something!"
"Don’t come crying after!"
"As if you’d really hurt me!"
They just laugh out loud though the circumstances are not laughable.
When they arrive at the theater, Uchi tells Ryo he will wait outside.
Tatsuya's sitting in his dressing room waiting for Ryo to show up. He'd been there for the last fifteen minutes after the director had decreed that practices were over when Tatsuya had continued to mess up his lines and was unable to concentrate. He had lain his head on the dressing table top and had fallen into a half-sleep, were he was aware of everything going on around him but not necessarily completely conscious.
Ryo enters throuth the main door, no fans nor audience are to be here at this hour anyway, spots the main desk and asks for the cast entrance. Of course, the lady can't tell him, hell she doesn't even recognize him! Fuming a little, he texts Tatsuya saying he can't get past the entrance cause they won't let him.
Tapping his foot on the floor cause he's getting impatient, he begins cursing under his breath when...
*Counter lady* "Please sir you're scaring the workers!"
Tatsuya opened his eyes when his cell phone went off and he lazily lifted his hand up to pick it up without lifting his head. Looking at the phone sideways, he read the message Ryo sent and sighed, finally pushing himself up to a sitting position. He checked his face in the mirror and frowned. Was he really ready for this? For seeing Ryo after so long? Seeing him after the younger male had broken his Heart. He nodded his head and exhaled heavily, grabbed his bag and headed towards the main desk where Ryo was waiting for him.
Tatsuya paused for just a second when he spotted Ryo but he gathered what courage he had and approached the counter.
"Ryo...?"
"Tats...Ueda-kun? I mean Ueda-kun!
Ahah!!! *to the desk lady* See I've told you I'm not a stalker!"
"Hum ano, so Ueda-kun...genki?"
"Don't antagonize the people that work here." *really tired sounding*
"I've been....*glances at the lady behind the counter* I'm fine."
Ryo bows to Tatsuya quite shakily. "Ah yeah sorry sorry Ueda-kun"
"Let's go."
"Yeah.."
Ueda walks to the door of the theater but remains silent. Ryo can't seem to find the right words.
"So...hehe...hum you're, you got skinner Tatsuya...are you eating properly?"
"I've been okay Ryo." *starts when he sees Uchi waiting for them outside and falters in his step for just a moment*
"? Why do you stop? Oh yeah Uchi.."
Tatsuya nods and almost raises his eyes to meet Ryo's for the first time but he stops himself before they actually look at each other.
"Tatsuya look at me. Please?"
Ryo is off to touch Ueda's chin but stops right before his fingers touch his skin.
He sighs, looks down, and suddenly he thinks their shoes look beautiful.
"It's okay, I won't ask you again; just, just go into the back of the car, I'll sit in front"
Tatsuya nods again, looking away to the side for a few moments before obeying Ryo's soft words. He opens the door to the car and climbs in.
Ryo thinks how Ueda really got skinner, probably because of him, and proceeds to enter the car too, when he caughts another sympathetic glance from uchi. His friend doesn't say anything, Ryo knows he's here to 'witness' them over, but most of all, he needs an emotionnal support, and Uchi's perfect for it.
As soon as they all climb into the car, Tatsuya sighs breaking the silence that coats the air.
Where are we....going? Uchi talks first.
"Hello to you too Ueda-kun! It's been a while since...Dream boys 2004!"
Ryo interjects "Uchi!"
"Ah I mean Countdown, yes I forgot about that...
So, I'm not telling you where we're going, but don't worry about it, princess, I mean babe, I'm the first to be called princess after all, we're not going to any weird place.
And I'm here to be sure you go there safely"
*Tatusya smiles ever so slightly* "Yes, it has been a while. Uchi-san. Okay. We should go then. I only have three hours before the I have to be back for the play tonight."
"Ah I guess we have to hurry then" *starts the engine*
"And please, call me Uchi-kun, don't go keigo on me Ueda-kun, I'm your kouhai now, even if I officially debuted before, don't forget I've been back to junior lever 1!"
Tatsuya nods and looks away, resting his chin on his fist as he looked out the window at Toyko's scenery as they drive by. And for most of the drive, no one dares to talk much, apart from when Ryo gives him directions.
When the car stops, they arrive in front of a building, where the sign indicates they're at a health center. Ryo looks really nervous, tighting his fits on his lap, almost never looking at Tatsuya, and Uchi looks at them from the rear-view mirror.
Tatsuya narrows his eyes thoughtfully as he stares at the building that the two have taken him too. Curiously he turns to ask about the place and catches Uchi's look in the mirror.
"I guess we need to go in right?"
"Then, I'll wait for you at the cafeteria okay? Just come back to me when you want to leave."
Ryo thanks his friend then turning to Tatsuya, asks him to follow him.
"Please just don't ask for now"
Tatsuya sighs and nods before getting out of the car. "Okay." *his response is a little cold*
He moves to the doors of the health center and waits for Ryo to join him and lead him where they need to go. Ryo hesitates a bit, but soon he himself is in front of the doors and enters the building, with Tatsuya behind.
*To the main desk* "I’m here to see Kojiro-sensei please."
"And you are?"
"Nishikido-san."
The secretary dials a number and after talking for a couple of minutes, she tells Ryo the doctor his on his way.
"Doctor?" *Tatsuya thinks to himself*
"Ah Nishikido-san! You're here! And right on time!"
"Hai. Sensei"
Ryo gestures Tatsuya to walk right behind him, as they follow the doctor to his office.
Tatsuya dimly feels like he's walking to the gallows. Almost as if he's on death-row. He gulped and unthinkingly reaches forward to take Ryo's hand in his. Tightening his fingers around the Osakan's hand nervously *his hand shaking*
The doctor looks at the gesture, surprised and smiles, and so is Ryo.
"Sensei, this is my friend, the one I told you about the other day?"
"Ah yes, nice to meet you..."
" Ueda. Ueda Tatsuya."
"I'm Kojiro Naohito, neurologist at Tokyo hospital, though here, in this health center, I'm just a therapist."
Tatsuya bows but doesn't remove his hand from Ryo's. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on, sensei. I'm really confused right now."
The doctor turns to look at Ryo "You didn't tell him?"
"..." *Ryo just nods guiltily*
"So how does it work? Are you okay? Feeling any different?"
"You tell me! "
"Well I don't know, tell me if something has changed."
"Hum, I don't think so, I didn't change, I mean nothing bad happened. Ah yes! Something happened right after I left you the other day!
"Oh the accident?" *Ryo looks at him dumbfounded* "I saw it on the news too Nishikido-san.
I told you it could affect you, tireness, eyes could get blurry, exhaustion getting over you..."
"You could have told me not to drive!"
"Well it makes sense Nishikido-san, don't you think so?"
"I guess...."
" But at least you're okay. So, I'll give you others that are not as strong as the ones you had."
*Tatsuya's just confused as he looks between the two* "What do you mean? What could effect you?" *looks at Ryo* "What aren't you telling me?"
The doctor hands ryo a prescription, he takes it then puts it into his pocket.
"Now you're gonna tell Ueda-kun here everything, we agreed on that Nishikido-san! And don't think because you're famous I won't pass on that!"
"Yes sensei, I know, that's what I planned today"
"Right. I'll leave the two of you alone. I'll be back in an hour max. I think you need time. I hope you're not here anymore when I get back!"
"..................Ryo? "
"Thank you sensei. I'll get them on our way out. I'll see you in another three days then!"
"No need too!! This one is for 6 months. Come back then! But call me if something happens again, like I told you."
"Hai, see you sensei."
*waits until the doctor is out of the room before turning to Ryo* "What's..........going on?"
"Tatsuya"
Ryo turns his back on Tatsuya, not wanting the over to look straight into his eyes.
"Tastuya, I have something to tell you; well obviously because you're here.
I didn't want to tell you before, didn't want to worry you"
"Ryo....."
"So one week or so, remember you told me I was not myself? I told you it was nothing but stress?, but actually it's more than that."
"Yes...........?"
"Tatsuya, I, *tears menacing to fall down on his cheek* I have schyzophrenia.......it's been in my family before"
"Schizophrenia?"
"Yes...I know I lied to you, and you probably don't trust me anymore, but I had to hide it! Even to the one I love!
You know how I told you my uncle's been missing for years, and none in the family know anything about his whereabouts...well, it?'s not exactly true.
He's, he's been in the custody of the Tokyo asylum, for the past eight years...way before I was able to know the meaning of that word.
He had, still has a high level of schizophrenia, and eight years ago, he used to say he could see his wife cheating on him, and guys following him on his way home, and probably more bizarre things happening to him..it was hallucinations...
He *now shedding bucket of tears* tried to murder someone he thought of being the man his wife cheated him with, and almost killed her in the process.
He pleaded innocent but his lawyier pleaded foolishness. He's now resting in the asylum, and his wife won't even visit him.
It was not entirely his fault, though he should have been treated right the moment he began to see things..
I began this treatment, I'm taking some pills, that make me stop seeing things, like concerning my life, and obviously yours, but because of the treatment, I get really fuzzy at times, and I can't drive in this state, that's probably why I shouldn't have driven the day I had that stupid accident, that got me everywhere in the news."
Tatsuya steps forward and wraps his hands around Ryo's waist, burying his face into Ryo's shoulder "I understand.
I wish you could have told me sooner.
"I know...I used to see and think you would leave me, cheat on me even, and that's how I became someone horrible, overly possessive and overly agressive.
The therapist told me being jealous is part of my nature, but I have to control the limit of it, if I want to lessen the damage, and above all, not lose you."
"I love you, Ryo. I know that sounds so cliche when I say you have nothing to worry about, but I can't think of any other way to say it. Whatever happens in the future... you have to trust me and trust that we can work through it together.
We're not perfect. I know that and we'll have ups and downs, but I think if we stay together it won't be so hard. I missed you a lot this past few days and... I realized that it was a lot harder to live my life without you beside me.
I still firmly believe that you won't turn into that type of person."
"So you forgive me? Forgive me for my madness, for my terrible actions towards our friends that I've been suspicious off, and forgive me for lying to you, I should have told you the truth a long time ago...I was so scared of your reaction..that you would leave me, because I'm a freak!"
"I do forgive you. It wasn't your fault."
"Tatsuya! Why didn't I tell you all of this before! Why didn't I trust you on this?!" *sobs hard* "I love you! I LOVE YOU!!!!"
Ryo cries hard in his lover's shoulders, neck, hair, almost screaming.
Surprised for a moment at Ryo's outburst but he smiles and soothes down the Osakan's hair gently "shhh~ shhh~"
*still sobbing* "fghh...fghh...fghh....don'ttt...leavvvv...me..please.."
"I promise. As long as you don't leave me. Even these last few days nearly killed me. "
"I'mm sorrry, I won''t ever again leave youu "
*Tatsuya smiles* "Hey, Ryo? Look at me."
*Ryo refuses to look*
"Ryo....please."
Ryo's lips are trembling, his eyes so wet look up, deep into Tatsuya's.
Tatsuya smiles and gently brushes his nose against Ryo's "I love you." *closes the gap and kisses him*
Ryo happily accepts the kiss, hesitates in responding to it, but his heart and body missed the other's lips so much he can't NOT kiss him back, so he does, but he's so vulnerable now he can't replies with passion, so he ends up kissing the other the best he can.
"Well *Tatsuya says after they separate* "I think you've lost your touch after nearly a week. You can't even kiss properly anymore." *very lightly taps his knuckles on Ryo's head* "We'll have to work on it."
"Eehh? it’s not funny Tatsuya."
*smiles teasingly* "But don't worry about it. I'm Romeo, after all."
"~fu fu fu ~~ and you're a teaser now I see!"
"As long as I got a smile out of you." *Tatsuya suddenly pouts cutely and places a finger against his lower lip, widening his eyes innocently* "Want to try that kiss again?"
"I guess I have to make up for the sloppy one.. but you have to lead...."
Tatsuya smiles and leans in again for the kiss but moving slowly and gently in an attempt to get Ryo fed up so he'll kiss back like the old Ryo.
Ryo can't take it and hungrily returns the kiss..and though they're not really in a good place to do that, he shoves the other on the floor and starts to make out right there by kissing his lover everywhere the skin is showing.
"Ryo...Kojiro-sensei will come back any minute now and I have to go back to the theater in two hours.
And Uchi-kun's waiting for us. Let's finish this somewhere else okay?"
"Ah yes!! you're right...besides, our first one after so long...I want it...home...OUR home..
Can I come back....?"
"Of course you can. I want you to come back home."
"Alright....I'll go there after you get back to the theater..Uchi will help me get my stuff back..
I have to tell you, Uchi's the one who knew everything, we grew up together, and he knows my family perfectly well..he actually accompanied me to the asylum..."
"I'm glad he was there to help you" *climbs to his feet* "We'll have to invite him over for dinner one day."
"Ah ah okay...by the way" *they proceed to the exit and on their way, Ryo picks up the new medication for the next 6 months* "now you know, I remember you wanted to meet my ....family?"
"Oh yeah... I'd like to but it doesn't have to be right now. I can wait."
"Yes of course not right now, I just wanted to let you know, now you know about me and my family, well, I just hope you're not scared enough.
In my family, they don't talk about it much..."
"I understand."
"Do you think your family would, accept me though?"
"I don't know....*sighs* But hey!"
"Ah....YES?!"
"If we can manage this kind of problem and stay together, I'm pretty sure we can tackle our parents."
"hee hee hee...! you're so cute, my dear princess" Ryo gives Tatsuya a peck on the cheek.
"Ryo, I'm glad you're back. "
"And I'm glad I'm back, for you, and that you accept the "new" me
I promise to try harder at the improvement of my own self, cause I can't be protecting you if I can't be sane"
"I'll hold you too that. I love you, Ryo."
Ryo gives another kiss to Tatsuya, this times on the lips, then he embraces him tenderly, smelling his neck, hair, he doesn't even care if people see him.
"Oi! You two! Over here! Quick!!!! It's past the time!
You don't even think of doing what you think you're doing in public! In front of a health center for godsake!"
"Tssssskk"
"Don't tssk me!"
"Well at least it'd be healthy." *Ueda laughs*
"Ueda-kun? You think it's healthy? Try with Johnny-san in front of you! You'll know if it's healthy!"
"Come one Uchi..."
"Five minutes! Five minutes only, I'm not looking!"
Ryo turns back to Ueda and continues what he was doing.
The five minutes pass and they are forced to get away from each other, but not for long, cause when they enter the car, they hold each other tight, 'till the end of the drive.
Uchi smiles fondly at the pair "I want to be loved tooooo"
"Start driving!"
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ A couple of weeks later ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Ryo goes home after a long day of work, really tired, but as soon as he enters the bathroom for a nice hot appeasing shower, something comes to his mind.
"Ah yeah that's today, I need to hurry"
This past week was full of appearances with Kanjani in his very own Osaka, and though he was happy being with his friends, he was happier for tonight.
So after a quick shower, he goes and dresses very casually, takes off to the train station, and proceeds to get to the center of the town. When he arrives, he enters the theater, today he's gonna to watch him, onstage.
Yes, today is Ueda's first show in Osaka, and Ryo has already promised his boyfriend he'd be there. He didn't forget about it, NO, he could not forget. And today nothing was going to ruin the mood, definitely not.
So when he enters the back entrance, past the security guards and some staff, showing his special ticket and obviously his face, he feels the need to see Tatsuya right away, just to tell him he's here, and that he kept his promise. But someone tells him he has to go to his seat now, and that he will see Ueda-san at the interlude. Being the overly impatient Osaka Man, he reluctantly backs off, sulking but nods.
When the play starts, feeling somewhat nervous but happy, seeing his Tatsuya in what he had already imagined himself in, is very appealing to him. And when the interlude is coming, he'll surely go to see his lover. Just to greet him, naturally.
Running off to see him, he finds himself lost in the crowd that took off for some refreshments. So there is his luck! Almost reaching for the backstage when the bells for warning the interlude is finished, sighing he goes back again to his place. He could always see him afterwards right?
Then, sitting down, he feels his phone vibrate. Thinking it could be a text from Tatsuya he reads it. And indeed, it’s one from his lover "I heard you were looking for me. Come meet me afterwards in my dressing room. I'll reward you for keeping your promise. Your princess".
Ryo was beyond happy. Tatsuya knew he came! Plus he'll get a reward!! How much he wanted the play to finish already!
So when the play does ends, the cast bowing and waving to the audience, Ueda looks for his boyfriend through all the faces, and there, in the middle of it all, stands his cute Ryo, sobbing a little, hiding its head under a cap. No way Ueda's going to call him onstage for a Johnny's get-together special guest appearance like they always do! First they don't interract with each other, publicly; second, well, Ryo's crying..but when Ueda chuckles and smiles at him, his boyfriend stops doing so...
Yes, today was a good day. And there will be many more of it.
A/N : You can tell who’s been writing fics for some time right?
Gaillen knows how to use words, I don’t. Plus I’ve been terrible in english these past years, sorry for the lack of smartness from me/Ryo
Also, maybe some of you noticed some hints to Lord of The Rings and HanaDan? Sorry I didn't do it on purpose. It just happened.