Something Secret
As much as I love you guys, my friends, there are somethings that you should know and I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings.. I may joke and kid about sex and the like, but honestly even that is hard for me. I do my best to seem indifferent, maybe just to try and fit in. I don't expect anyone to be able to read me, I try to make it so no one can.
A certain birthday gift was incredibly hilarious, but not for very long. It makes me very uncomfortable to look at it, and thus have had to hide it on myself. I may blame my aversion to sexual oriented things on a hormonal imbalance, which wouldn't be a lie to a certain point, but it goes deeper than that. I was sexually assaulted. It was years ago, but things like that stay with you, and memories of it are easily triggered. That's why I don't and can't think of myself in a sexual situation, it's uncomfortable. And it's very hard for me to even be among straight men in mixed company, never mind actually be friends with them, I'm always thinking they just want to take advantage of me.
In short, please don't tell me I need to get laid, because I don't want to. Ever. It may seem weird for me to come out with this all of a sudden, but it has been bothering me recently, certain types of dreams don't help either.
Also know you know why I'm all for gay sex; it doesn't involve me, therefore I'm okay with it. It may sound stupid, but in my mind it makes sense.