Gaining Your Love: a Heisei Kumi fanfic (12/14)
Author: ryosukekoibito
Pairing: Ariyama
Rating: PG-13
Genre:Romance
Disclaimer: I do not own anyone, c'mon guys.
Summary:Long before the Heisei Kumi knew Keito Daiki makes it his mission to make the stunning Yamada Ryosuke fall in love with him, and it's going to be much harder than Daiki expected. So! For anyone who read my Heisei Kumi fic, this is the Ariyama spinoff I said I'd write! And if you didn't read it, please go check it out. The first chapter can be found here.
A/N: Hey guys! So, I'm back a day earlier than expected...I hope you like the chapter!
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11
It's just after dinner, and Daiki had already retreated to the bedroom, the pit in his stomach making him feel like an empty container. He had taken to biting at the skin on his fingers, the pain a nice relief from this hatred and grieving he was bogged in. He was in the process of tearing off a large, raw flap from his ring finger when the door opened, and Inoo stepped in. Daiki froze. He hadn't allowed himself to be awake in a room with Inoo any longer than strictly necessary since....then. Inoo plopped his skinny frame down next to Daiki's, and spoke quietly
"Hey, Dai-chan." There was a silence, during which Daiki managed to completely remove the skin from his finger, blood pouring from the agitated open wound. He felt the texture of his skin on his tongue, all of the little ridges, before scraping it off with his teeth. The stuff was disgusting.
"Daiki...we're all worried about you. I'm worried about you. Talk to me." There was a second, shorter pause. "Let me in-I'm your best friend! I want to help you." Help him? The damage had been done.
"You can't." His voice felt strange in his throat, as if it didn't belong there.
"Maybe I can though! I could find a way to help you. I want too. If you would just tell me what happened-"
"No. Just leave me alone."
"But Daiki-"
"Leave me the hell alone!"
"You know I just want to help you, why are you getting so-" Inoo was starting to get upset, Daiki could hear it in his voice, the shrill edge that only came when the older boy was about to cry. “What’s the matter with you?!”
"I don't want your help! I don’t need you, you obnoxious bastard. Fuck off." Daiki spat, knowing the last phrase would finish the job, and sure enough Inoo stormed out, slamming the door behind him, one feminine hand covering his tears. Daiki cursed to himself. Why had he done that? The last thing he wanted was to get Inoo to hate him, and yet...he was punishing himself. Driving away his best friend because he didn't think he deserved Inoo. Because he didn't. Because after everything Inoo had ever done for him he was still a terrible excuse for a human being. He didn't deserve Inoo's help, Inoo's attention. He should be left to die alone. These thoughts burned, rolling around and he found himself crying again, all of his vulnerability open and raw, and just like an angel, Yamada stepped in. Daiki didn't even see him until he was right there and before he knew it his face was buried in Yamada's shoulder, hands knotted in the younger boys white sweater, and he could feel warm palms on his back, tracing delicate circles, and after a while, as his crying started to get under control, it struck him that Yamada was letting him hold onto him like this, and amazement slipped its way into the hot pot of emotions swirling in his stomach.
"How can you...?" His voice was rough and croaky from all of the crying, and the words were barely a mumble, yet Yamada understood.
"I've been practicing, getting more used to human contact. I want to be able to be there for you...like you were for me."
"Like I was...what?"
"My nightmares. You saved me from them. Remember?" Oh. Daiki cries a bit more, but soon his tears are all dried up, and without warning his body shuts down, and he is thrown into sleep, the words I love you frozen on his tongue.
Daiki blinked. Whiteness stretched out everlasting, and at the sight of the nothingness he cursed, dread filling him up. He let his eyes trail down to the ground, searching for the ribbon. Sure enough it was there, and the first thing he noticed was that it had once again changed color. Now it was a deep, warm, beautiful shade of purple, and he let his gaze trail up it's length to where it was wrapped around his wrist. He inhaled sharply, shocked at the sight of his own hands. Blood was everywhere. The substance was smeared acrost his palms and knuckles, it had seeped into his shirt, and up the cuffs of his pants. His feet were covered in the stuff, as though he had waded through a lake of the terrible crimson liquid.
He was broken out of his horrified stupor when the ribbon's silk length shifted on the ground, catching his eye. He looked up, and there far off in the distance, Yamada had appeared. He was running, the purple ribbon looping back behind him and trailing after him, and he was gaining, getting closer and closer. Panic swelled in Daiki's stomach, breaking and crashing over him like a wave, and he bolted, hoping that if he was fast enough Yamada somehow wouldn't catch him. He glanced back, over his shoulder, and he realized he was leaving a trail of bloody bare footprints in his wake. Shit. He ran faster, but it wasn't long before he was jerked back sharply, the ribbon around his wrist becoming taught, and the force of it pulled him off balance and brought him crashing to the ground. When had it gotten so strong? It was still taught, tugging on his arm, and he sat up, searching for a way to remove it from his wrist. As he struggled he sensed more than heard Yamada approaching, and within moments the younger boy was standing over him, their ribbon balled up in one hand, the other offered down to him.
"Let me help you." Yamada's voice was calm, no fear or surprise in it, and Daiki looked up to see that his eyes portrayed the same calmness, and he tentatively reached out his hand, Yamada pulling him to his feet. When their skin touched he had expected to feel the rough stickiness of congealing blood in a thin layer between them, but all he felt was the soft pads of Yamadas palm, and once the younger boy had let go he looked down at the hands. Not only was Yamada's clean, his too was now clear of blood, as if there had never been any there to begin with. Yamada grabbed Daiki's other hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze before releasing it. It to became clean, purged of everything impure. Yamada opened his arms, as if for a hug, and he smiled, repeating
"Let me help you." Daiki just stood still, and Yamada stepped forward, placing a small, feathery light kiss on the tip of his nose before pulling him into a hug. Warmth radiated from Yamadas embrace, and Daiki felt his heart becoming just a fraction lighter.
Daiki woke the next morning with the feeling of blood on his face being replaced with the feel of lean taught muscle under a thin layer of fabric, and he slowly began to piece his situation together. He had fallen asleep on Yamada's chest, the younger boy had his arms loosely around Daiki's shoulders, and his head resting against the closest wall, still sound asleep. His eyes found the clock. It was just barely past four in the morning. He lay there for a few minutes, and it gradually began to dawn on him that he needed to use the restroom. Slowly, carefully, Daiki shifted, slithering out from Yamada's grasp and pulling himself to his feet, pausing as Yamada shifted slightly, head lolling against the wall, before backing out of the room, pulling the door shut behind himself. He let his bare feet pad down the dark hall, listening to the quiet, but when he got to the bathroom door he froze. The door was shut, light shining from the crack at the bottom. Someone was in there. He had two options: wait for the person to get out, or just pretend that he hadn't seen the light at all. He thought them over, the sound of blood rushing through his body loud and distracting in the dark, before his hand found the knob, and he pushed the bathroom door open.
Hot air rushed through the gap, and his eyes took in the scene before him. Inoo was standing in front of the sink, towel around his waist, hair still wet from the shower he had obviously just gotten out of, and he was examining his neck, craning his head at an awkward angle to see it in the mirror, his hands brushing his own skin. It took him a moment to realize he was being intruded upon, and once he did he jumped back from the mirror, hand immediately covering his neck, embarrassment and a trace of fear flitting across his face. Daiki muttered the obvious apology, and Inoo just nodded, hand still covering the left side of his neck, and he let himself out, Daiki turning and watching him go, suspicious of his friend's strange behavior, and his eyes caught on a group of little red crescent marks indented into Inoo's lower back before the skinny boy turned the corner, disappearing into the dark hallway. The implications of those little marks sent Daiki's mind flying into overdrive. Fingernails. He remembered, months ago Inoo had asked about similar marks on his own back.
"You have blood...little marks, like fingernails...You didn't have sex with Takaki did you?!"
"WHAT?! NO! What the hell?!"
"Well, it's just that I remember seeing marks, like that, when...when he'd sleep with someone! On his back! And you didn't come in last night! And he's seductive!"
"He's seductive?! How?"
"He-he's got a nice face, and a nice body, and he talks smooth, and he's...experienced."
Horror washed over him as the notion washed over him. His mind rejected the concept; Inoo wouldn't do that! He wouldn't sleep with Takaki...he couldn't have. Could he? He had to know. He finished up in the bathroom quickly, mind on overdrive, and he returned back to the bedroom, walking in just as Inoo was pulling on a shirt, the collar popping over his head. As his friend adjusted the bottom Daiki caught sight of a reddish bruise-like mark on the left side of Inoo's throat, and the dread was heightened slightly. He nearly confronted his friend right then, but at the last second he remembered Yamada, still sleeping peacefully in the corner, and he restrained himself. Inoo looked over at him, the embarrassed look washing over his face when he saw Daiki, and Daiki just grabbed his friend by the wrist, dragging him out of the room and downstairs to the living room. Inoo stumbled the whole way, muttering curse words under his breath, and once Daiki had finally let him go he fiercely whispered
"What the hell, Dai-chan?!" He was glaring, confusion and anger flashing in his eyes.
"Did you sleep with Takaki?!"
"What?" The anger in Inoo's voice had vanished. Daiki took a deep breath, reiterating the question.
"Did you have sex with Takaki?" Inoo just stared, opening and closing his mouth a few times like a fish out of water, one hand subconsciously reaching for the hickey on his neck, his fingers brushing against the skin. That was enough confirmation for Daiki; he found his own hands cradling his face for a moment, before he managed to voice out
"Why?!"
"I...well...I needed to...stop thinking...for a while." Inoo paused, brows furrowing. "It's not like I'm the only one, Hikaru and Yabu have done it when they need a break from the world. And he and Kumi-cho used to sleep together all the time. He offered, no strings attached, and I took it." Daiki processed all of that information, trying to understand.
"But...what did you need to stop thinking about? I don't understand." Inoo sighed, running a hand through his drying hair.
"It’s because of you, Dai-chan. The past few weeks you've become so distant...and so cold...it's been really hard on me. I've been trying to be there for you and act like nothing was wrong, but tonight...the argument...it was too much. I couldn't take it anymore. Takaki comforted me. He was there for me. He helped me forget, for a little while." There was a heavy silence. Regret over his treatment of Inoo weighed down on Daiki's back like a physical pain. This was his fault. When Inoo spoke again, Daiki could hear the tears building in his tone.
"I've felt like I was losing you." They lapsed back into silence, Daiki knowing he owed Inoo an explanation.
"But...you've never...had sex before. Have you?" Daiki couldn't help but ask. Inoo shook his head.
"Takaki was my first." A pit of terror at the thought formed in Daiki's throat, and he had to fight it to get the next words out.
"Inoo...I killed someone." Now that he had started the confessing came tumbling out in a rush. "A store clerk. The Kumi-cho had given me a gun months before, and he ordered me to...I didn't even know the guy, but...I killed him. He's dead now. It...it was...I...I've been avoiding everyone since then. And I didn’t want to tell you, and now…That’s why…that’s why…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault."
"Oh Dai-chan..." Inoo was shaking, tears on his cheeks, but he limped over to Daiki, pulling him in for a hug.
"It's okay. We still love you anyway. I'll always stand by you, no matter how many people you kill; because I know the real you. And the real you is pretty amazing." Inoo whispered, his arms tightening around Daiki's shoulders. The comfort those words provided washed over Daiki like a tsunami, and he found tears of relief staining his own cheeks, his arms wrapping themselves around Inoo's thin frame. They stood like that for a long time, before giving in to exhaustion, and collapsing right there on the couch, falling asleep draped across each other. For the first time in a long while, Daiki managed a few hours unhaunted and dreamless.
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