Oneshot - You're Taking Too Long

[ryunuka]

Finally back in the flat he was beyond relieved to see that everyone seemed to already be asleep. He staggered into the kitchen, filling a glass with tap water before locating a blister pack of painkillers and downing three with the water. Sighing he sipped at the water for a moment, staring into the middle distance, and after a moment he tipped

Comments

[sono_kiseki]

I BETTER BE FIRSTTT. XD
*off to read*

[sono_kiseki]

I swear I felt Junno dropping in my rating list. :/

Nice oneshot as usual. I felt my heart dying a little with Ueda's tears. DD: Koki's so kind, and I want to kick Junno as usual.

One comment though - at some paragraphs, you tend to write long sentences with loads of commas. Maybe try breaking the sentences? Too many commas make the story seem choppy and out of breath.

Otsukaresama, Ryunuka-chan-senpai! (tell me if I spelt that wrongly. *shot*) I would add badass hearts here but the code's in the other computer. D:

♥♥♥♥♥

[ryunuka]

I feel I may have done Junno a bit of an injustice by making him such an asshole in this fic. I watched cartoon KAT-TUN today and felt really bad for how I wrote him -facepalm-

The sentence thing, I was told that in college a couple of times, it's actually a habit I've developed, I really should pay more attention to it. Although choppy and breathless towards the end of this fic kind of works. Thanks for the advice Kellie-chan, I'll try and break downw my sentences a bit ^_^

lol, glad you like it, arigatou gozaimasu~! ^_^
(I'd put hearts too, but I haven't got a clue how, I suck at html XP)

[sono_kiseki]

Actually, I think he's pretty cute. XD *pulls Junno back up rating list*

Haha. XDD no problem~ (hearts, by the way, is made like this > ♥ just use lowercase 8D)

[meilinsnape]

omg.. T~T Tat-chan crying makes me want to cry tooooooo!!!!!! sniff...sniff...and I'm glad Koki was so kind with him when he was crying... *~*

wtf Junno!?...you know, i was watching some Cartoon Kattun clips just before reading this and every time Koki kicked Junno I was like 'aaww so meanie!!!' but now I'm kinda 'yay! well done!! kick him harder!!!' XD
[maybe I'm taking fanficts way too seriously O_O]

ok, time to flee!! i should have been studying for tomorrow's test,... woopss! XD

Kisses&Hugs!!

p.s. haha loved bouncy Aya XD

[ryunuka]

Ack! My angst writitng head is back on! O.O
But Koki is there to make it a bit better at the end :)
Awww, I always used to feel bad for Junno getting kicked, at one point I didn't even like Koki and it annoyed me when he kicked him, now I kind of like Koki more...but I still feel a little bad for writing Junno as such a bastard :S

Hope your test goes well -cheers for you- ^_^v

-hugs back-

Yeah, i decided they should have a couple female roommates so I figured the two actresses Tat-chan has worked with were a good choice, I'm not sure if Ueto Aya is really that bouncy though :P

[ipurpleberry]

*sobsob* I love this~

Junno, you evil bitch guy. How dare you make Uepi cry?! ...

Koki just got a higher place on my ranking list. XD~

[ryunuka]

-hands you tissues- please don't cry! D:
I really don't think badly of Junno at all, so I don't know why I had to make him so horrible, but Koki is awesome :P
Glad you liked it, thanks a lot for reading and commenting~!

[ayamekofuku]

I BEG YOU, PLEASE UPDATE, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG!!!i just LOVE the way you write, i wish i could become like you when i grow up :3
*sends love*

[ryunuka]

I'm really really happy you liked my fic, but unfortunately this is where this one ends, I've been considering a sequel for it though, so maybe I'll write one soon, but I've been really busy with university recently so I can't make any promises. I'll try though.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting~! ^_^

[xwickedxlovex]

Hello ^^
i decided to read the whole thing before commenting.
It's so sad. I would have never thought Junno would do something like that >.< But at least Koki was there in the end. It would have been nice to see a continuation but the ending was still a very good ending. Thank you~! :D

[ryunuka]

I don't think Junno is capable of something like that either but for some reason he was the one who fell victim to the role of evil bastard this time :P
I'm thinking of a continuation, I'm already writing it, when I'm done I'll decide then if I'll actually keep it, I wasn't originally going to write a continuation but then an idea attacked me so I've started writing a sequel.
I'm glad you liked it, thanks a lot for reading and commenting~! ^_^