Whisper in the Darkness Ch12 part 2
Maru hadn’t been expecting to have much luck cheering Ueda up the night of the day Ryo had to leave for Osaka, but surprisingly and happily enough, after a while he seemed to perk up a little, claiming to be attempting to stay positive. He still seemed to be shivering every now and then and his smile was slightly strained, but he was trying, and he and Maru ended up ordering take-out and listening to music, seeing as Ueda couldn’t have watched a movie, and today Ueda had woken up first and, when Maru shuffled into the kitchen, had actually managed to pour himself a glass of juice.
“Ohayou Tat-chan,” Ueda jumped slightly and turned in the direction of the voice.
“Ohayou, Yucchi,” Maru poured himself some juice.
“Ne, Yucchi,” Ueda started hesitantly. Maru looked up from his glass and set it down on the counter.
“What’s up?” Ueda raised a hand to his bandage, touching it gingerly and running his fingers through his hair.
“Um, we finish early today right?”
“Yeah, we finish the group recording and run over the schedule for the solo recordings, but that’s about it, we only have MOON left to record, why?” Ueda sighed.
“I hate to ask, and I wouldn’t except-”
“Spit it out Ueda,” Maru said, beginning to smirk.
“Would you mind taking me to my parents place?”
“Uh, sure, if you want, but…why?” Ueda bit his lip and fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt.
“I…I want to see Eri,” he mumbled. Nakamaru stared at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. Ueda twitched slightly, then reached out, trying to smack Maru over the head, but missed when Maru dodged his attack.
“Mou, Maru don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m sorry Tat-chan, but you look like a little kid, you’re too cute sometimes!” Ueda folded his arms, dispelling the image of a shy child instantly.
“I am not!” he said, trying to sound angry and failing as a smile tugged at his lips, Maru always managed to make him feel better.
“You really are! Of course I’ll take you to see Eri, I’m just sorry none of us could take her in right now,” Ueda shook his head, still smiling gently.
“I didn’t expect any of you to take her in, plus she already knows my parents…I just miss her,” Maru watched Ueda’s face for a moment, then smiled knowingly.
“You mean, since Nishikido has been here he’s managed to keep you company in her place and now that he’s not here for a while you’re remembering that you miss her, because you miss him too,” Ueda blushed slightly but nodded, and his smile wavered. Noting this Maru hastily clapped a hand on his shoulder.
“Okay! It’s decided! Straight after work we’ll drive over and see Eri, and you can let your parents know you’re okay too,” Ueda nodded and smiled again, gratefully.
“Thanks Yucchi, but you’re kinda creepy when you talk like a psychologist,” Maru laughed and aimed a swipe at Ueda’s head as the younger of the two smiled and managed to dodge the attack.
~~~
As Maru had said their working day flew by and in no time Maru was leading Ueda to his car and they were driving out of Tokyo and towards Kanagawa.
Maru had called Kame the night Ryo had told Ueda he was leaving for Osaka for a week, so they had all been trying harder than ever to keep his spirits up. Ueda could tell, and he was eternally grateful. It was sort of stupid really, being so vulnerable that his band-mates had to actively try and keep him happy just because the guy he was in love with was out of town for a few days…and Ryo didn’t even know how he felt, what was he missing exactly?
They were hardly in a relationship, they were friends, good friends, they’d become so comfortable around each other, and Ueda loved being around Ryo, when he could relax and indulge in the light, sunny atmosphere Ryo carried with him-
Ah…
That’s it, that’s what he was missing. Of course, he’d heard it before, whether from novels or reality; he’d heard that when you love someone, even if they’re unaware, just being around them feels good. Having them somewhere close by is reassuring, it makes you happy.
As they passed a road sign indicating that they would soon be in Ueda’s home town Maru glanced over at his friend, who was sitting up, his elbow leant on the window sill and his chin resting in his hand, as though he were watching the scenery pass them by…
“Tat-chan,”
“Hmm,” came the distracted reply.
“We’ll be there really soon,” Ueda smiled and nodded his acknowledgement.
Once they arrived in front of Ueda’s parents’ house he seemed to become nervous and twitchy again, but Maru sense that somehow that may have been due to the fact that since his brief meeting with his parents in the hospital three weeks ago Ueda hadn’t actually contacted his parents, and even before the accident he hadn’t been home or called in a while. Maru, remembering how Ueda’s mother could be from the days when KAT-TUN and their parents would meet up for dinner, usually at the Ueda household, as it seemed to be the biggest, had a feeling Ueda’s sudden nerves were more to do with his mother’s wrath than anything else.
“Tatsuya! Yuichi-kun!” Ueda visibly flinched at his mother’s high pitched cry of surprise.
“Hi mum,” he said warily.
“Hello Mrs. Ueda, long time no see,” Maru fought off a smirk and counted down in his head, waiting for the bomb to hit…3…2…1…
“Tatsuya, why haven’t you called, I’ve been so worried about you, I wasn’t sure if you were back at home yet, have you been alright? Is everyone taking care of you?” at this she shot a pointed but brief look at Maru who barely had time to open his mouth before she continued her rant, dragging both men into the house, loosening her hold only long enough for them to toe off their shoes.
“Your father kept telling me not to worry and that you were fine, he’s a grown man, he said, he can take care of himself, he said, kept telling me there were plenty of people in Tokyo watching out for you, but a mother worries, Tatsuya, you don’t call enough as it is and now that you’ve been in an accident, what am I supposed to think, of course I tried to get your sister to check on you but no, she says the same things as your father, both of you, you’re just like him, I don’t understand it, where’s that boy that was with you, Nishikido-kun, how is he? I hope you’re all not working too hard, you should take it easy for a while, you were in such a terrible accident you have to recover properly-”
Amazing, even though he had called her almost five hours previously she was still rambling as though she hadn’t heard his voice in a year, it was always the same.
“Is Onee-chan here?” Ueda asked, managing, miraculously, to make his question heard and halting his mother’s rant.
“Akari? No, she’s working! You children, you work too much, you’re going to have a nervous breakdown, or make yourselves ill, and then where will you be? And that father of yours, I told him his son was coming home but does he hurry home from work, or course not!”
“Mum, for the love of God would you calm down! Seriously, I’m fine, Onee-chan is fine, dad is fine, everyone is fine, Ryo has been helping me out at home and everyone else has been watching out for me at work, where I am not overworking myself, right Yucchi?”
Maru flinched as both Ueda and his mother turned sharply in his direction, and took a moment to marvel at how he still felt like four eyes were burning holes into his face even though two of them were blocked with at least two layers of bandage.
“R-Right, until the bandages come off it’s mostly just singing rehearsal and recording, we’re all making sure he’s okay Mrs. Ueda, and Nishikido has been taking care of him,”
“Nishikido-kun has? Oh, what a thoughtful young man, you thanked him properly didn’t you Tatsuya? And you’re sure the doctors are taking those bandages off this weekend?” Ueda sighed.
“Yes, I’m sure, they called and confirmed two days ago,” finally Ueda’s mother managed to respond with a simple nod and a smile.
“Mum, where’s Eri?” Ueda asked tentatively.
“Oh, she’s by the back door, I think she’s missed you Tatsuya,” Ueda smiled and Maru felt himself relax with some slight surprise, he hadn’t realised how closely or intently he’d been watching his friend and band-mate’s mood.
“I’ve missed her too, sorry for having you take care of her, I’ll come get her this weekend okay,”
“Oh it’s no trouble honey, and you try and bring your sister with you okay?” Maru swore, if Ueda had had full use of his eyes he’d have been rolling them.
“Mum, you know what happens every time me and Onee-chan get in a car together for more than ten minutes, by the time we get here we’ll have half killed each other,” Ueda’s mother gave him a hard look he felt through th bandages.
“You certainly will not or I’ll kill both of you,”
Maru suppressed a smirk, this was going to be a fun evening.
~~~
In the end, they only stayed for an hour or so.
During that time Maru sat on the decking at the back of the house and watched Ueda run his hands repeatedly over Eri’s head and neck. Eri had been ecstatic when Ueda had called her name and had almost knocked him over, licking his face and wagging her tail so fast she almost fell over when he knelt down to hug her.
Mrs. Ueda sat beside Maru watching her son as he sat cross legged on the grass, leaning back on one hand and stroking Eri’s head when the dog settled into his lap. Ueda laughed as he felt her warm weight settle on his legs.
“Eri, you’re too big to fit in my lap,” he said fondly. The retriever settled for resting her head and front paws in Ueda’s lap and curling the rest of her body up beside him. Ueda smiled and shook his head, playing with his dogs ears teasingly.
“You might be big but you’re still a puppy aren’t you?” he said softly. He stroked her head again and the dog closed her eyes, relaxing into her master’s touch.
Maru smiled. The small, fond smile Ueda wore now was maybe the easiest smile he’d seen on his face since the accident. Though I haven’t seen how he smiles at Nishikido, he thought with a slight smirk.
Even so, he was glad that for now Ueda was feeling better. He kind of wished he had thought of bringing him to see Eri sooner, or at least telling Ryo to do so. Ueda had always had a strong bond with his dog. So strong in fact that he had argued at length with his sister when KAT-TUN had debuted about where the dog would live. Ueda had insisted he could keep her with him, he had plenty of friends who were more than happy to check on her when he worked overtime but otherwise he attended to the dog’s each and every need. Of course when they were on tour Eri would stay in Kanagawa for a while but other than that…
Maru smiled again as Ueda teased Eri’s ears and she lazily flicked her tail and nudged his knee with her nose in response. Everyone but Taguchi had a dog, and they loved them, but no-one so much as Ueda, it was sweet, even though they had teased him mercilessly about it before, there was n denying that the bond between him and Eri was sweet.
Turning toward the porch Ueda called over, still stroking Eri’s ears.
“Yucchi, shouldn’t we be getting back soon?”
“We can stay longer if you want,” Ueda shook his head and smiled sadly down at his dog.
“The longer I stay, the less I’ll want to leave her,” he said.
“Okay, whenever you’re ready then,”
Ueda shifted Eri’s head and leaned down, calling gently to her. Eri slowly opened her eyes and looked up at her master, slightly confused for a moment that instead of her master’s kind warm eyes she saw a thick white stripe below his bangs. Then she remembered that her master didn’t have his eyes right now.
“Eri, I’ll be back to take you home soon, I promise, just a few days and I’ll come and get you, okay?” hearing something new in her master’s voice that she hadn’t heard before and didn’t like Eri sat up and nudged his cheek with her nose and gave it a gentle lick until he raised his head and smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her neck.
Ueda hugged his dog, sinking his fingers into her thick fur, before letting go and standing up. Rising from his seat on the porch Maru walked to Ueda’s side and put a hand on his shoulder to lead him back through the house.
Ueda’s mother hugged him tightly at the door after he had put his sneakers back on. Drawing back she cupped his face in both hands and stroked his hair, smoothing it back from his face.
“My poor baby,” she said quietly “you take good care of yourself, and get better quickly,” Ueda smiled at her and nodded.
“I will,” Mrs. Ueda turned to Maru and gave him a mock serious look.
“You take care of him for me Yuichi-kun,” she said.
“I will,” he replied.
In the car, for the first few minutes Ueda sat with his hands limp on his knees and his head lowered as if he were watching his lifeless hands. Maru glanced at him every few seconds and was about to say something, anything when Ueda suddenly raised his head and sighed with a faint smile.
“I’m so stupid, getting this emotional over a dog,” Maru glanced at him worriedly.
“Tat-chan,”
“Seriously, these past three weeks, I’ve turned into such a girl,”
“Hang on Tat-chan, don’t start beating yourself-”
“I know Yucchi, I know, anyone would be the same, I can’t expect to be totally fine, it’s normal to be more emotional, more fragile, blah blah blah,” Ueda sighed and ran a hand through his hair, leaning his elbow on the window sill and resting his head in his hand.
“I know all that, but it doesn’t stop me feeling pathetic, sorry you have to put up with me,”
“Would you stop for Christ’s sake! No-one is mad at you, thinks badly of you, and before you even think it we don’t pity you, we’re just trying to empathise, we only want you to feel better,”
“I know,”
“At the end of the week, you’ll get your sight back and you’ll start getting stronger again in no time, soon enough you’ll be right back to your old self, and you bring Eri home, and you can tell Nishikido how much you love him and everything will be back to normal…more or less,” Ueda turned toward his friend who was now staring intently at the road ahead as if avoiding Ueda’s gaze. Even through the bandage it felt as though Ueda were staring at him.
“Yucchi…”
“Don’t apologise and don’t thank me,” Ueda smiled and nodded. Maru glanced at him and smiled with a shake of the head.
“I swear you’re making my hair go grey,” Ueda turned toward the window again, smiling.
“Sorry,” he said but yelped as Maru’s hand came down on the back of his head.
“Ow! What the hell-?”
“Didn’t I just tell you not to apologise?”
“You’re so mean! Koki and Jin are having a bad influence on you!”
“Good thing you love me,” Ueda stuck his tongue out at him.
“Shut up,”
They drove for a while in companionable silence. Maru glanced at Ueda a couple of times, and he was still smiling, hopefully he’d be able to keep smiling for a while.
“Hey, Ueda, how about, when we get back, we call everyone and go out to eat,” Ueda turned to him, his smile widening.
“Sounds good, but won’t it be too late by now?” Maru glanced at the dashboard clock.
“It’s only eight, I’m sure they’d be up for it,”
Ueda nodded happily.
“Okay! Shall I call them now?” Maru reached blindly for his phone and handed it over.
“Koki and Kame are on speed-dial two and three, get them to call Jin and Taguchi,”
As Ueda felt for the button and hit it, raising the phone to his ear Maru watched his smile as he spoke to Koki and felt, with a surge of relief, that the smile they were all missing was finally starting to come back.
つづく
AN: Apologies for the epic lateness of this chapter, it’s a little longer than I originally planned, which I’m happy about. I hope it’s okay, I’ve been writing it on and off for the last two months or so, so I hope it’s not too disjointed. Only two chapters left I think, I’ll be working on my last assignments and studying for exams for a couple of weeks so unfortunately I can’t write until at least mid May.
I hope you enjoy this chapter ^_^