Teenage kicks (or just a teenage circus?) part 1/?

[s11235]

A/N: And so it is here!!!!!- Finally! I have been working on this idea for so long but just have not got round to sorting it out- RL keeps getting in the way. But now the xmas hols are upon me, I have more time to write :D. This is a bizarre concept, I was in two minds about writing it but the epic prydwen magic convinced me to commit to my crazy idea. And then the wonderful vaberella was forced to help me reign in my unusual take on grammar :P. Hope you enjoy the final product and I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being- my inspiration- or lack of it will decide :D

The world has just ended- seriously. My Dad has just walked out on my Mum and she came up with the brilliant plan of moving to London- and not the nice bit either. So she dragged me out of my nice school, you know, the ones where you wear ties and blazers and everyone doesn’t stare at you like they want to shove your head down the toilet. But it’s closer to Mum’s work and of course, it’s cheaper than living in a pleasant village like Ealdor. So this is why on the third of September I am standing in the drizzle in front of the wire mesh fences of Camelot High wondering what on earth I did which could warrant such a punishment.
I gulp and head over to a group of sixth formers sitting at a bench.

‘Hi,’ I say with a wide grin ‘I’m Merlin, nice to meet you.’

I offer one of the boys my hand. He just stares at it, then looks up at my face, ‘are you queer?’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Do you like cock?’ he says slowly, like he’s trying wrangle the answer to a very simple question out of a particularly backward six year old.

‘Like Coq au vin?’ I suggest tentatively.

‘Sure Dumbo’

‘I do like it yes’ I say, rather nonplussed.

‘That is so gay’

‘No’ I say confused, ‘actually it’s French’

He snorts and the rest of the group laugh. Then the bell goes and I wonder exactly what kind of institution I’ve just walked into.

I stand in front of the class, ‘this’ Mr Pendragon says, ‘is our new student.’

He looks almost bored by the proceedings.

‘Hi, my name is Merlin,’ I say, giving the group a jaunty wave.

The girls in the front row don’t even bother to stop talking about the article on page three of OK! that they’ve been wittering* about for the last ten minutes. A boy at the back mutters something like ‘dickhead’ and his mates laugh as if it’s the funniest thing in the world. Most of the class roll their eyes or ignore me entirely.

‘Arthur!’ Mr Pendragon snaps, ‘it is your job to show Emrys here around.’

‘What?’ a blonde boy- with far too much gel in his hair- asks indignantly.

‘You heard me.’

‘You have got to be kidding,’ he mutters mutinously, slipping lower in his chair.

‘Well go and sit down,’ Mr Pendragon barks and I scurry over to the boy called Arthur.

‘I’m Merlin’ I say sitting down beside Arthur.

‘Yeah I heard,’ he snaps back, rocking back on his chair and not looking at me.

‘So what class do you have next?’

‘History.’

‘Oh brilliant, I have History too.’

‘So?’ he asks with an arched eyebrow.

‘You can show me how to get there.’

‘But that would mean walking with you,’ he says, his eyes wide.

‘Yes.’

He sniggers, ‘yeah, and that’s going to happen.’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘I wouldn’t be seen dead with a guy wearing that,’ Arthur says disdainfully, pointing at my neckerchief. Ok, so every other guy was wearing jeans or trackies and a t-shirt, but it was a birthday present from my Mum- she said it made me look sophisticated- it’s vintage too apparently.

I echo her sentiments.

Arthur just stares at me like I’m a creature from another planet, though to be honest sophistication was bound to be an alien concept to a boy surrounded by kids caked in Reebok and Lonsdale.

‘You are a massive tit,’ a boy in the row in front row says, turning around in his seat to gawk at me gormlessly, his mouth a little open.

‘Thank you for your input,’ I say.

‘No problem,’ he guffaws like a loon and promptly turns to face the front once more to continue his scintillating discussion with his neighbour about whether a deep fried mars bar was better than deep fried ice cream.

‘Just take the bloody scarf off,’ Arthur mutters, scratching the nape of his neck and avoiding looking at me.

‘Fine but if the draught in here gives me pneumonia I am holding you responsible.’

‘Brilliant,’ he replies with seeping sarcasm.

When registration ends I head off to History with my new friend.

‘So can I call you Art?’

‘No,’ he scowls.

‘Can I call you Artie?’

‘No,’ he says as the lines on his forehead deepen.

‘What can I call you?’

‘How about nothing?’

‘So how would you know I was talking to you?’

‘I wouldn’t,’ he shrugs.

‘Isn’t that a problem?’

‘Think about cravat kid, is it?’ he says, tapping his temple, ‘Is it really?’ and with this quandary hanging in the air, my new friend vanishes into the throng of students heading to class, and I still have no idea where the History department is.

‘I swear she gets even more beautiful every time I see her,’ Arthur is saying as I bound up behind him.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ he asks heatedly as I join him and a friend who are sitting on one of the sofas in the common room.

‘Well as its break I thought I would use the time to socialise with my peers,’ I say brightly, sitting down next to Arthur.

‘You seriously are a massive tit,’ Arthur’s friend states at the exact moment I realise that I recognise the shaggy brown hair and blank expression from registration. Then the boy’s laughing again, as if he has just said something truly hilarious.

‘Is that all he says?’ I ask, addressing Arthur.

‘Pretty much’ he shrugs, ‘but Will’s right, you are a tit,’ he says reasonably.

‘Thanks very much.’

‘No problem,’ Arthur almost smiles.

‘Can I ask who you were talking about just then?’

‘No,’ Arthur replies, all traces of a smile gone now.

‘But talking about girls is a typical form of male bonding,’ I say seriously.

‘Exactly.’

‘So…’

‘Hey guys’ a boy- who I guess you would say is handsome- says striding over to us, a broad grin on his face, ‘you’ll never guess what…’

‘What Gwaine?’ Arthur asks, not even bothering to feign interest.

‘I just spent Geography chatting up Kylie. I think she really likes me. I could be in there. I mean, we really connected, you know?’ he says with wide eyes as he slumps onto the sofa.

‘Who's Kylie?’ the boy who keeps calling me a tit asks.

‘The really hot blonde from Miss Tompkins’ form,’ he replies, bobbing his head is a self-satisfied way.

‘Didn’t you try and get off with her best friend last Saturday?’ Arthur interjects.

‘How am I supposed to know?’ he responds with an uninterested shrug.

‘Because-’ Arthur begins but Gwaine’s already slid off the sofa and is approaching a slim brunette.

‘Hi there’ he says.

‘Hi’ she replies tentatively, her eyes darting from left to right as if looking for the nearest emergency exit.

‘I’m sorry but I just had to come over here’ Gwaine says, clearly oblivious to the girl’s discomfort.

She looks at him, half confused, half nervous.

‘I had to tell you that you have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen’

‘I have a boyfriend.’

‘The course of true love never did run smooth.’

‘Did you just quote Shakespeare at me?’

‘What would be the best answer at this point?’ he asks, leaning into her, listening intently for the answer.

‘You are such a loser.’

‘Well I could never say no to pity sex with someone who looks like you,’ he grins, touching her arm.

She pushes past him muttering ‘asshole.’

‘Darling, call me?’ he shouts hopefully after her.

The entire common room turns to look at him with a bored distain which suggests that this behaviour is not out of the ordinary.

He slopes back over to us under the collective glare of half the Sixth Form.

‘How’d it go?’ Will asks, his mouth open in expectation. I only just manage to resist the urge to roll my eyes.

‘She’ll call me,’ Gwaine says confidently, ‘girls can’t resist the accent.’

‘Well the girls at this school must have remarkable will power,’ Arthur replies.

‘Will power,’ Will sniggers.

‘No,’ Arthur grimaces, ‘just no Will.’

I try to understand what’s going on and fail miserably, but maybe I’m better off that way.

Just then a tall guy with dark hair strolls in, by the set of his shoulders you can tell he clearly thinks he owns whatever room he happens to be in. And he comes over to us.

‘Hi, I’m Merlin, I’m new-’

‘Pendragon I want a word,’ he says.

I look about me confused, and as I suspected, not seeing Mr Pendragon anywhere, I turn back to the brutish boy in front of me.

‘What do you want Alvarr?’ Arthur says, in a voice full of bravado, getting slowly to his feet. I looked between Arthur and Alvarr and back again, rather lost.

‘Your Daddy stuck me in bloody detention.’

Oh, now it made sense.

‘I’m sorry mate, but that’s not really anything to do with me,’ Arthur replies with a rather more confident air than most people would have adopted- given the circumstances.

‘Did you actually just call me mate?’ Alvarr asks menacingly, closing the remaining distance between him and Arthur.

‘Er, no, I mean yes, I don’t know,’ Arthur says as he backs into the sofa and nearly falls over, ‘sorry,’ he offers as a last resort as the older boy bares down on him.

‘Not half as sorry as you are gunna be in a minute Pendragon,’ Alvarr says, grabbing Arthur by the collar of his t-shirt.

‘Alvarr just let go of him,’ a tall girl with raven hair says blithely as she glides into the room.

He looks as if he’s seriously considering ignoring her for a moment but then he releases Arthur and stalks over to his locker.

‘Thanks Morgana,’ Arthur just manages to choke.

‘Don’t thank me, I only stopped him because his shirt is new, it was a present from me and I really don’t want him accessorising it with your blood. Any other time and he’s free to punch the living daylights of whoever he likes,’ she says coolly.

‘Right,’ Arthur gulps and Morgana follows Alvarr over to the lockers and promptly begins snogging him.

Arthur eyes the spectacle with a look of disgust which I am sure could have rivalled my expression when I had opened my locker to find egg mayonnaise smeared all over my new exercise books.

‘Alvarr doesn’t like you much, does he Arthur?’ Will observes, looking, as always, a little spaced out.

‘Are you the next frickin’ Miss Marple or something?’ Arthur snaps.

‘So, can I take it from that, that this has happened before?’ I ask as Will looks at Arthur, bemused, the cogs of his brain turning slower than the magic roundabout.

‘That is none of your bloody business,’ Arthur bites back at me.

‘Last time you lost half of your front tooth,’ Will says seriously.

‘Shut up Will’ Arthur snarls.

‘Cause his Dad pisses Alvarr off,’ Will explains without any request for embellishment.

‘Just shut the hell up Will!’

‘So why don’t you just tell him what’s going on?’ I say, turning to Arthur.

‘Who?’

‘Your Dad?’ I ask exasperatedly.

Arthur looks at me as if I ought to be locked up in some psychiatric facility while the other two boys just double up with laughter. After several moments Gwaine looks up, ‘new kid is actually serious.’

‘Yes I am.’

‘As far as Mr Pendragon is concerned Arthur’s little run-ins with Alvarr are character building, and he hastens to remind him on a regular basis that if he wasn’t so pathetic in the first place he wouldn’t get beaten up at all,’ he says, still half laughing, before Arthur delivers a swift blow to Gwaine’s arm, which promptly shuts him up.

‘That’s terrible,’ I say sincerely to Arthur.

‘Just fuck off, I don’t want your pity’

I don’t fuck off, I continue to sit there with them ignoring me until it’s the end of break and we head our separate ways for class. In my experience if you hang around people long enough they will eventually end up being your friends, not necessarily because they suddenly notice all your redeeming qualities but because they get tired and can’t be bothered to resist it. Besides, it isn’t like I’m aiming particularly high with this bunch of outcasts.

When I return to the common room at lunch, the three boys are there, sitting on some blue plastic chairs because Alvarr and his friends have decided they want the sofas. I don’t ask, I just pull up a plastic chair too.

‘Can’t stay long, there is a meeting about the Christmas school production, and I was wondering if any of you would like to join me?’

Three pairs of eyes widen at this suggestion, or maybe just two, because Arthur and Gwaine look surprised at the idea but Will just looks like his about to sneeze.

‘It will be good fun,’ I assure them, ‘they’re doing a Shakespeare play, not sure which one yet.’

‘No.’

‘No.’

‘Er, what’s going on?’ Will asks.

‘You guys are just going to sit here doing nothing- you might as well come,’ I reason.

‘Sitting here sounds like a good plan,’ Arthur says, with a defiant look in his eye.

‘Motion seconded,’ Gwaine adds with a grin.

‘What’s going on?’ Will asks looking between us, totally bemused.

‘Fine,’ I say, getting to my feet, ‘I’ll see you guys later’ and then adding, ‘don’t have too much fun without me.’

The meeting was not exactly what could be called a success. At my last school a play like this would have attracted dozens of budding thespians. As it was, when I arrived there were six Year Seven girls, an old man, who looked rather too old to still be teaching, and perhaps to even be alive, and one other, rather frantic looking, Year Twelve.

‘Hey,’ she said distractedly, her honey-coloured skin a little flushed, ‘I’m Guinevere, but everyone calls me Gwen.’

She offered me her hand. I shook it.

‘And you must be new, I haven’t seen you round here before.’

I nod, ‘I’m Merlin, but everyone calls me new kid, or cravat kid, or Dumbo, or…’

She giggled, ‘I won’t ask, but it’s nice to meet you.’

‘Is this it?’ I asked gesturing at the very empty school hall.

‘I sent e-mails out and put notes in all the registers,’ she sighed.

‘Maybe it’s just because it’s the first day of term, maybe no one’s checked their e-mails yet, and Mr Pendragon must have forgotten to read out the notice in registration’- this was lie, he had read it out and people had jeered and laughed, or ignored it entirely- much the same as their reaction to me, to be honest- but I thought it best not to tell Gwen that. She was the first genuinely nice person I had met and I just wanted to cheer her up.

‘Maybe, it was a stupid idea to have the meeting today, I just wanted to get started this week, and this is the only lunchtime this week Professor Gaius could manage.’

‘It wasn’t stupid,’ I assured her, ‘it was just perhaps a little optimistic.’

She laughed again, a very infectious kind of laugh.

‘Oh well, we’ll just have to come back next week, next Monday alright for everyone? Professor Gaius?’

He woke from his daze, ‘of course Gwen.’

And the Year Sevens nodded enthusiastically.

‘If you can convince anyone else to come along too, that would be brilliant.’

They nod again.

‘Thanks so much for coming along Merlin, it’s nice to know I’m not the only person nerdy enough to be into Shakespeare,’ then she blushes, ‘I’m sorry, that wasn’t supposed to come out like that, I mean I don’t think you’re a nerd or anything…’ she bit her lip, ‘sorry.’

‘No worries,’ I grin at her.

‘Professor Gaius, I hope the hospital appointment goes ok.’

‘Thank you Gwen,’ he beamed back at her.

‘Now let’s head back to the Common Room, I’m starving,’ she said giving me a warm smile.

People look up as we enter the room. Some of them call out to her, some of them throw disdainful glances in my direction and one of them glares at me. It’s Arthur.

‘What the hell?’ he mouths furiously at me.

Seeing this, Gwen raises her eyebrows and says, ‘I guess I’ll leave you to it.’ Then she shoots me a wide smile, ‘it was great to meet you Merlin.’

I head over to Arthur who is now evilling me* with even greater intensity.

‘What the hell do you think you are doing?’ he asks, his voice high and thin.

‘Talking to Gwen.’

‘No, you were talking to friggin’ Guinevere Leodegrance, the most popular girl in school.’

‘Well she was really nice.’

‘Of course she was nice- she’s Guinevere.’

‘Ok.’

‘Why were you talking to her?’

‘Because I was the only member of the Sixth Form to have any taste.’

‘Did you kiss her?’ he demands out of the blue, his lips pursed so tightly they form a single straight line.

‘No,’ I say, confused, ‘I just went to the Shakespeare play meeting.’

‘No one told me Gwen was going to be there.’

‘She’s organising it.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he demands with such aggression that I’m half tempted to ask him when the rest of the Spanish Inquisition will be turning up. But something about the sudden darkness of his eyes stops me.

‘Because I didn’t know until she told me, it wasn’t on the e-mail or the notice that she was in charge,’ I explain reasonably.

‘She should have put her name on it, then everyone would have turned up,’ Gwaine says, totally unfazed by the interrogation I was suffering.

‘Why?’ I ask Gwaine, but Arthur answers me.

‘Because Gwen is the most popular girl in school, every other girl wants to be her friend and all of the guys-’

‘-wanna get in her knickers,’ Gwaine finished, cutting across Arthur.

‘I don’t,’ I state simply, ‘she’s nice and everything, but she’s just not my type.’

Three pairs of eyes widen in shock.

‘Are you gay?’

‘Why does everyone keeping asking me that?’ I ask, feeling slightly defensive.

‘Cause Gwen’s hot,’ Will says, who had clearly been listening in on our conversation though he still looks as if he is half asleep, his dark mop of hair rumpled, his blue-green gaze blurred.

‘Those eyes, that smile, that ass and don’t even get me started on her boobs-’ Gwaine says before Arthur throws a heavy textbook at his friend’s head.

‘Don’t talk about her like that,’ he stammers, his cheeks red, ‘it’s disrespectful.’

‘Ok Germaine Greer,’ Gwaine laughs, raising his hands in mock defence.

‘Arthur likes Gwen,’ Will informs me, behind his hand, in what he clearly believed is a confidential manner.

‘I do not,’ Arthur says, biting down on each word and blushing furiously.

‘No, he luuurrrvves her,’ Gwaine smirks, lolling back in his chair, a mischievous grin on his face.

Arthur is about launch himself at Gwaine when the sound of a female voice pins them down, ‘hi, Merlin, so these must be your friends,’ Gwen says sweetly.

The three boys’ heads snap round to look at her though Arthur swiftly returns to staring daggers at Gwaine, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Gwen, ‘sorry, I’ve interrupted something, I’ll come back later,’ she mutters, evidently a little embarrassed.

‘No, stay, it’s nothing that can’t wait until later,’ I reply, looking meaningful at both boys and hoping they will behave themselves for the time being.

‘Well, I’m sure Merlin must have told you about the School Play,’ Gwen says brightly ‘and I know it’s really cheeky but I desperately need some guys. I convinced a load of the girls to come along next week, but the boys are playing hard to get, so it would be so great if you lot could come along. It’ll be fun, I promise. And all the proceeds go to charity. What’d you say?’ she smiles warmly around at us.

‘Sure,’ Will says with his ever gormless smile as he scratches his bird’s nest of hair.

‘And you’re sure there will be loads of girls there?’ Gwaine asks, his eyes a little narrowed.

‘Er yeah,’ Gwen replies, puzzled.

‘I’m in,’ he says with such enthusiasm it takes me a moment to realise he’s not joking.

There is a pause as they all turn to look at Arthur.

‘Arthur?’ Gwen says with a beautiful smile, ‘you up for it?’

‘How’d you know my name?’ he asks, evidently rather thrown.

‘You were in my History class back in… Year Seven I think. We did that project on Medieval Myth and Legend together and you wouldn’t talk to me for two days because I told you dragons weren’t real,’ she laughs.

Arthur just stares at her blankly.

‘Don’t you remember?’

‘Nah, I mean it’s not like it was important or anything,’ he says, his tone and the way he is studying the cuticles on his left hand suggesting he is bored of her already.

‘I didn’t say it was,’ she replies, looking a little taken aback by this less than warm reception.

‘Whatever.’

‘Look, if you don’t want to come to the meeting, don’t,’ she snaps, her confusion gone, replaced by a fiery indignation.

‘Did I say that?’ Arthur drawls, looking up at her properly for the first time, then swiftly looking away again.

‘So you’re coming?’ she asks, even managing a smile in the face of his apparent apathy.

‘I dunno, it’s not really my scene.’

‘You do English Literature, don’t you?’

‘Yes, but this is just, no offence, a bit nerdy for me.’

‘And didn’t you win the fantasy football league last year?’ she says, half serious, half teasing.

He blushes, but keeps his mouth firmly shut as he scowls at a point somewhere over Gwen’s left shoulder.

‘Seriously Arthur I don’t care if you come or not, I just thought it might be nice for you to be included for once.’

‘What you thought you’d do your bit for charity, what is it, liberate a loser month?’ he bites back.

‘What the hell is your problem?’ Gwen explains, at a complete loss and at the end of her tether.

When Arthur doesn’t reply, she turns to the rest of us, her normal warm expression replacing her scowl instantly, ‘I’ll see you guys Monday lunch, ok?’

We nod.

The minute she’s gone I turn on Arthur.

‘What the bloody hell was that?’

‘I was playing it cool,’ Arthur snaps defensively.

‘Ah, that makes sense,’ Will says.

‘No it doesn’t,’ I snap back.

‘Er, okay,’ Will replies looking totally lost.

‘Some girls like it when you pretend you’re not interested,’ Gwaine says knowledgably, ‘I’m betting Gwen is one of those girls.’

‘Ok even if Gwen is one of those girls, and I don’t think she is, she might like it if you act uninterested but not when you act like a massive tool.’

Arthur throws a mutinous look my way in response.

‘Don’t worry mate,’ Gwaine says, patting his friend on the shoulder, ‘she loved it.’

‘You think so?’ Arthur asks with a crooked, goofy smile.

‘Yeah, she’s totally hot for you, treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen and all that.’

I roll my eyes, just about to ask Gwaine how he is qualified to pass judgement on such matters. But the bell goes before I can get the question out.

I return to a rapidly emptying Common Room at the end of the school day after staying behind in Maths to ask why on earth we had not been set any homework.

I grab my stuff and leave. As I head out of the main doors I notice Arthur, Gwaine and Will making their way out of the gates. I dash across the carpark after them. And reach them just in time to hear, ‘…so meet at eight then?’

‘Where are you going?’

‘Nowhere,’ Arthur shrugs.

‘Well that can’t be true, you just said-’I attempt to reason with him.

‘We’re going to the pub,’ Will says dazedly.

‘Thanks for that Will,’ Arthur groans.

‘No problem,’ Will beams, totally having missed the sarcasm.

‘I could invite Gwen and her friends along,’ I suggest offhandedly.

‘No you couldn’t,’ Arthur says derisively.

‘I have her number, I could just text her.’

‘You have Gwen’s number?’ he asks incredulously, his eyes wide, his expression would have been apt if I’d just told him he’d won the Euro Lottery rollover, ‘as in Guinevere’s?’

‘Uhuh.’

‘Fine,’ he says with feigned nonchalance, the ghost of a smile still playing around his thin lips, ‘you can come, tell her to get to the Fox and Hound for eight.’

‘Ok,’ I say beaming as I walk beside them.

See, all it takes is perseverance and you will make friends, whether your new friends like it or not. I was now a member of the most loserish quartet in the school. There was Arthur, who might have actually had a shot here if it wasn’t for the fact that his Dad is head of Sixth Form, but who wears far too much hair gel and thinks the way to get a girl to like you is to be a massive tool. And Gwaine who seems to genuinely think he can charm the birds out of the trees but in actual fact only has the unique ability to trigger the upchuck reflex of any female within a three mile radius. And then there was Will-

‘I punched a fish once.’

‘Right, thanks for that Will’ Arthur says.

And then there was Will…

A/N: The lovely vaberella thought I needed to explain some of my idiosyncratic approaches to language...
Wittering*- Meaning chatting inanely and at length (sometimes I'm too British for my own good :P)
Evilling me*- British slang term for glaring at some or 'giving them the evil eye'

Hope you enjoyed my first foray back into fic for a long while :D
Part 2: http://s11235.livejournal.com/15133.html