In Reality, That Teary Goodbye Part 2 - One Shot
Title: In Reality, That Teary Goodbye
Fandom(s): U-KISS
Pairing(s): OT7
Rating: PG-13
Genre: IDEK
Word Count: 8,587 words (Part 2 Only)
Warnings: Freak warnings. I’m angry right now. Wrote this the very second I found out about the news, may contain inaccuracies, esp. on Xander’s case. More warnings below, scroll to bottom to read.
Author's Notes: Heck, I wrote U-KISS disbandment before, now two members are leaving. This is my retribution, whatever I’ve done wrong, I get the impact right now. Yeah, thanks.
“You’ll tell the rest tomorrow.” President Kim stated, gesturing at the manager. “You two can choose not to speak. Don’t contradict, don’t even try.”
Alexander and Kibum looked at each other and resigned themselves to their fate.
“I know they will react to the news. Make sure they are safe.” The oldest of the four reminded the manager, who nodded. “Any questions?”
“We will take part in keeping them safe.” Kibum added with a stubborn tone.
“We won’t tell them anything.” Alexander promised, wanting to make sure Kibum was allowed to do what he needed to do. There were a few members that depended on the younger, because Kibum had a huge responsibility since their debut.
“Make sure they don’t try anything funny.” He said strictly to the manager, as if refusing to acknowledge the other two’s presence.
“Let’s go.” Alexander motioned, seeing as his job was done.
Kibum quietly followed, slamming the door as the last few words left the President’s lips.
“Thank you for cooperating.”
-
“Yah, can you boys listen for a bit?” The manager yelled, annoyance completely obvious. Kevin covered his mouth and tried to hold in the laughter, but Kibum suddenly standing and moving towards Alexander was more effective.
“Hyung?” Kevin questioned, only getting a faint smile back.
“The company has some news for you all.” The oldest man sighed, looking to Kibum and Alexander for help. They both shrugged. “Well, uh...”
“Is it bad news?” Kiseop warily asked.
“Sort of...okay, fine, it's horrible news.” He closed his eyes, cursing his luck. Why does he have to be the one to break it to the other five?
“What is it?” Soohyun bravely inquired, putting the slightly tensed atmosphere to the back of his mind.
“U-KISS…” The manager groaned, pointing at Alexander and Kibum. “Is losing these two members.”
“…”
Kevin looked to the duo for confirmation. Kibum only turned away.
“Why?” Eli coughed out, staring at Alexander especially. Wasn’t he the one who proclaimed his love for U-KISS and wants the rest of the members to promise that they’ll work together till they are all tired of singing, before disbanding together but keeping their friendship intact?
“Kibum wants to focus on his business with his brother. Alexander needs to further his studies.” Three heads instantly dropped to the floor, aware of the lie.
“What do you need to study for that I don’t?” Dongho questioned softly, sad eyes directed at the oldest member.
“You were coping fine!” Kevin yelled. “I can’t believe you! You’re doing it all over again! You enjoy screwing up my life, don’t you?!”
Alexander turned to Kibum for comfort, and when the awkward pat on his shoulder as a temporary relief wasn’t enough, he hurried out of the room.
Kiseop stood up and ran out of the room in full speed, while Dongho exited the place lifelessly, needing some peace to clear his mind.
Eli waited for a second to check if anyone was going to make any moves to give chase, but there was only Kevin hysterically advancing towards Kibum with a punch ready for the older’s face. He rushed out with only one person clouding his mind - Kiseop.
Soohyun grabbed hold of Kevin’s thin arms and locked the younger boy with him, who glared angrily at Kibum with murderous intent. Soohyun nodded with a sad smile at Kibum, who understood it and turned to the exit, searching for Dongho.
Kevin pushed Soohyun away from the back the moment Kibum closed the door behind him, proving that he had the strength to actually fight Soohyun’s arm-lock. He directed his anger at Soohyun, weakly hammering the older member’s chest.
“This shouldn’t be happening…”
-
Kibum found the youngest in the practice room next to theirs, a room trainees used, but there were none at the moment.
“Dongho, can you keep a secret?” Kibum sighed. It was only now that he found out how whiney his members...or ex-members are.
“What.” Dongho said with a sharp tone in his voice. Kibum broke into a smile, placing his hand on Dongho's hair and ruffling them. Dongho was curious but didn't want to act like he cared, so baby-like. “Say it.”
Kibum sighed again. “Well, I was forced to leave.”
“WHAT?!” Dongho shrieked. “Why would they do something so stupid?!”
“They say it's because we aren't good enough and so there'll be a member replacement, but I'm suspecting that there's another reason.” Kibum shrugged, no longer hypersensitive to the issue.
“You look like you don't care.” Dongho growled, pushing Kibum to the floor and crawling on him. “What now, you don't love this adorable me anymore?”
“You're not adorable anymore, anyway.” Kibum chuckled. “Growing up to become a man...Do take care of yourself and...”
“Kevin-hyung.” Dongho stared down at Kibum, squinting his eyes at the older member. Yes, Kibum will always be a fellow member. “What about him?”
“Yeah, take care of him, all right? He's taking this as badly as I thought.” Kibum looked to his left, trying to fight the urge to cry away. Kevin hated him when he left Xing too, and the hatred probably came back twice the size before.
“I'm not talking about that!” Dongho groaned, hitting the older member's head on the forehead. “What will he do without you?”
“Move on.” Kibum coughed out, feeling the familiar wrenching at his chest area.
“Yeah, then what about us? And you? And Xander-hyung?” Dongho frowned. “What if we got a number one finally? And all five of us will cry so badly that those two will have to say something, that they'll thank the fans but who are they to thank on U-Kiss's behalf?”
“Dongho...”
“We worked hard for that together. Xander-hyung, Soohyun-hyung, you, Kiseop-hyung, Eli-hyung, Kevin-hyung and me, not those two! And when we get a number one, all I'll think of is how sad it is that it wasn't you and Xander-hyung that was there with us.” Dongho burst into tears, leaning down to hug the older member and cry in his embrace.
“I'll be watching your every move.” Kibum smiled. “I'll call you right after broadcast and scream at you about how much of a baby you are.”
“Hyung, I don't know who they are but I hate them already.” Dongho rolled his eyes, directing his vengeance to the floor beside Kibum's head.
“It'll be all right, I can't promise anything but it'll be all right. You better don't turn rebellious now that I'm not there and Xander-hyung's not there to nag at you.” Kibum joked, pulling Dongho closer into the hug.
“Will you send me every Piro Piro merchandise?” Dongho asked as a childish request of sort.
“No, things don't come by free. You'll get a members' discount, though. I'll make you a membership card right now.” Kibum quickly took out a name card he had been working on and wrote Dongho's name in the empty space. “Here, bring this along and a gift I'm preparing for you guys to my company any day you deem fit, and you'll enjoy a member special including a meal, my treat.”
“Someone's earning big bucks or something?” Dongho smiled, not because of the subtly promised Piro Piro, but because Kibum promised they would meet again. He shifted and kissed Kibum on the lips, pressing for a bit longer. “I love you.”
“Ew, did you just kiss me?” Kibum laughed, pushing Dongho off him before sitting up.
“Hey, I kissed Kevin-hyung with these lips too, okay?” Dongho pouted.
“Right.” Kibum rolled his eyes, before turning serious. “So...don't tell anyone what I told you today. I'm not supposed to. At least not yet.”
“Why not?” Dongho's sad eyes looked even more heart-breaking than Soohyun's, but that was kind of a given.
“They probably wanted you guys to move on faster.” Kibum shook his head. “I don't know anymore.”
“Kibum-hyung...”
-
What are friends for?
Wasn't it for better and for worse?
What are friends there to do?
Wasn't it to stay with you despite everything?
So how did Xander-hyung and Kibum-hyung end up leaving?
Kiseop cried, and for once since 2008, he wanted to commit suicide.
Eli was right behind Kiseop’s heels, worried as to how Kiseop was taking this. Kevin was crying and wailing, but then he became angry so he should be fine. Soohyun's there anyway. Kibum went to comfort Dongho (probably) and Alexander fled the scene. Kiseop just ran out, silent, and Eli wouldn't forgive himself if Kiseop was hurt in any way.
“Kiseop...”
“Eli! Eli!” Kiseop wailed, clinging onto Eli as if his life depended on it. “Eli!”
“I know.” Eli clenched his fist and brought them up to keep Kiseop safe in his arms. Sad, but safe. “They must have some reasons, they wouldn't just leave. I don't know, I don't believe what the company says but Xander-hyung and Kibum-hyung didn't even fight those words back...”
“I don't want this to happen, I don't want to lose any of you, but now I'm losing two!” Kiseop clutched Eli's arms and lowered his head on Eli's shoulders. “Why must this happen? We lost our mother and the weirdo uncle, how can we survive with only a father? Who will feed that stupid dog?”
“Kiseop...” Eli couldn't collect his thoughts enough to reply. “They are just...leaving to let's say...Africa. They're still in the family but it's harder to communicate with them.”
“It won't ever be the same again.” A voice that was barely a whisper, so weak, so breakable.
“Yeah, but we promised to be together. We will be, in spirit, and I know they wouldn't break that promise.” Eli lifted Kiseop's head from his shoulder, looking into his eyes seriously. “Don't break down this way, we'll get worried.”
“It must be my fault.” Kiseop insisted. “It must be my fault! If I never joined, they wouldn't dare to replace the members, they'd be skeptic of the fans reactions!”
“Untrue!” Eli yelled. “Don't say that of yourself, don't you dare!”
“Eli...I'm afraid.” Kiseop whimpered. “I don't want this...”
-
Alexander took a walk out in the empty space near the company, taking a breather. He thought he had gotten over the issue, but when the members reacted the way he had expected, it was too real and it hit him hard.
Though it was kind of a fuzzy feeling to know he means so much to all the other five, and a heart-breaking feeling to know he would be leaving them.
That was the only reason why there were fresh tears running down his cheeks. The five were the only ones he couldn’t let go of. He would happily skip out of the company if it was some people he never liked working with. He could give up the fame, the money, the fans, the passion, but not the bonds he’d built over the years.
He knew Kibum would make Dongho listen. Dongho keeps up a cool front, but he’s really innocent on the inside and would trust Kibum, because Kibum wouldn’t lie to him either.
Soohyun was stronger, he would have put himself in Kibum’s and his shoes and thought about why Kibum and him are leaving. Maybe they didn’t want to leave, maybe Soohyun would figure that out.
Eli…Alexander wasn’t really sure how Eli was taking things. Eli had a little secret habit of putting others before himself. Kiseop ran out, and Eli was worried for Kiseop’s safety, knowing how the slightly older one probably wouldn’t take note of his surroundings.
Alexander smiled. It was small actions like these that showed how much of a family they felt like. There will be those who need a certain person to help them up again, those who rely on themselves no matter what, and those who take the surface value and wail like a baby.
Kevin.
Alexander chuckled a little. Fans knew how he loved to tease Kevin wherever he went because Kevin was just dense and tactless. He knew the younger boy would cry and yell and scream. Everything, before probably launching into bitchy mode and snapping at everyone.
Pretty possible.
Kevin was never good at controlling his feelings. He just lets it burst out before sorting them out and smiling the smile he doesn’t mean, just to tide through the low period before he remembered what being happy was all about again.
And he knew, Kevin was the member he couldn’t set his mind at ease about. He doesn’t know who else, other than Kibum, could actually handle that sweet-turned-nasty-in-a-bad-mood boy.
But this time, Kibum (and him) were the ones who stepped on the land mine.
-
“Kevin, don't cry...” Soohyun managed to mumble, patting Kevin's shoulder awkwardly. “It's...not okay, but, don't cry anymore. It'll make us all feel worse to see you like that.”
“I'm not crying!” Kevin shouted. “I'm not a wimp, crying over this! I'm angry! Very angry!”
“Why are you angry? It's their choice, we should respect it even if we don’t like it.” Soohyun shook his head. “You’re making things hard for them too.”
“I don’t care!” Kevin yelled, as if being loud could make him more believable. “It’s selfish of them, selfish! We put all other things after U-KISS, and out of a sudden they have something else so they quit! Quitters make me angry!”
“Oh yeah…” Soohyun paused to think. “It’s too out of a sudden, maybe it isn’t-”
“Idiots!” Kevin roughly wiped the tears from his wet face, only for it to be tear-stained the next. “Stupid idiots! The more I think about it, the angrier I am!”
“You’re not really angry…”
“I’M ANGRY!” Kevin glared deadly at Soohyun despite the other being a lot older. “I’m awfully angry! What do you mean I’m not really angry? You think I’m sad? I will never be sad for them! Leave if they want! But they’re…they are PUTTING OUR JOBS AT RISK!”
“The company stated we’re still singing.” Soohyun hid his small smile. Kevin was amusing to watch, despite the situation. “You’re in denial.”
“Denial?” Kevin blinked, as if trying to translate that in his head. “Denial?! You’re kidding me! I’m not denying anything! I’m all open, and I’m telling you, Soohyun-hyung, I’m very angry!”
“Okay, says the crying Kevin.” Soohyun nodded and raised his hand as a signal for Kevin to stop. “I’m tired, I had used a fair share of effort trying to process the information, so would you please just shut up or go get some food to stuff your mouth with?”
“I’m not in denial! I’m not crying!” Kevin repeated, before leaving as Soohyun had asked, but not without stomping and shutting the door with a slam.
-
“That’s all for today, we’ll hold another Star Date meeting nearer the date, so that’s all you need to know right now.” The PD ended off, packing up while Eli and Kevin just stood up to bow and leave.
Kevin climbed into the van first, taking the middle seat. Eli shrugged, joining Kevin there, since there were only the two of them.
“Don’t sit next to me.” Kevin growled. Eli only kept silent and shut the door, nodding at the manager in front. “Don’t ignore me!”
“What do you want?” Eli yawned. “Don’t you think I deserve to get some rest?”
“You’re so unfeeling! You probably don’t even care that Xander-hyung and Kibummie-hyung are leaving! You don’t want them with us! Go away, I don’t know a beast like you!” Kevin pushed Eli further away from him, glaring angrily.
“What am I supposed to do? Cry like you to prove I care?” Eli rolled his eyes. “Kev, that’s just childish.”
“Oh, right, you’re so mature you don’t care. So brave and manly, aren’t you?” Kevin snorted, turning to glare out the window. “And I never cried. I was just angry!”
“In your words, you CARED that they are leaving.” Eli groaned. “And Kevin, you’re so impossible with all your stupid inferences.”
“I don’t care in a sad way! They, well, I’ve said it before, are putting our jobs at risk!” Kevin insisted. “And I’m not stupid!”
“That’s another one of those inferences.”
“Forget it! You’re the impossible one!” Kevin kicked the seat before him, gaining a curse from the manager. “You should be the one leaving!”
“Guess what, maybe I will.” Eli threw his jacket at Kevin and ignored the tears that Kevin let loose.
“WELL THEN LEAVE!” Kevin screamed, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly. “Leave me one by one…I don’t even care.”
“Kevin…” Eli sighed, shifting closer and hugging Kevin’s tiny figure. “Don’t act like this. I just didn’t want to make it difficult for them.”
-
Kibum never attended MTV Daum Music Festival. Alexander decided he’ll make the best out of his last performance and joined the other five.
Kevin was still insistent on treating Alexander like air. Or nitrogen gas to be exact.
“Let’s take photos together~!” Kevin sang, pulling Dongho to a side. He looked up and smiled. “Light is pretty. Okay, one, two, three, smile~!”
Dongho immediately groaned as Kevin checked the photo. “Can you not find me anymore? My face is like horribly big and- hey, it came out kind of nice.”
“I have skills.” Kevin replied proudly, insisting on taking a second photo. Dongho refused to, running away to “say hi to friends”.
“Kiseoppie!” Kevin called out sweetly. “You free?”
“For what?” The other member blinked, eyeing the game in his hand.
“Let’s take pictures together!” Kevin grinned, which Kiseop immediately smiled at. “One, two, cheese!”
Alexander looked from his seat as Eli played Mahjong on his phone and Soohyun rested with his ears plugged. He knew Kiseop was unintentionally forgetting him, but Kevin was making everything he did obvious.
Bored, he decided to check Twitter and saw that Kevin tweeted the selcas he took with Kiseop already. He checked them out and smiled a bit, though recognising the insincere smile.
Fans started filling his timeline with questions about the “AlVin” couple. He sighed, deciding to push the question to Kevin, who would obviously just ignore it.
Kiseop then fled to finish his game, leaving Kevin playing with his phone before a mirror.
“Don’t mind him.” Eli smiled. “He’s just being dumb like always.”
-
“I need to talk to you, Kibum.” Soohyun grabbed Kibum’s hand and pulled him back. “Don’t make me make you stay.”
“I need to rush off.” Kibum sighed.
“You’re being evasive.” The older frowned, scrutinising Kibum with his sharp eyes. “There’s something you’re hiding.”
“There’s nothing.” A small smile, but Kibum kept it inside. It was obvious Soohyun knew many things, more than everything the other fools in the group could. “Nothing at all.”
“You knew it long ago, before Xander-hyung started acting weirdly too.” He stated, as if raising evidence. “And we all know, Dongho isn’t a baby that’s easy to be pacified. You told him the truth, but you are hiding something from me.”
“Well, why don’t you ask Dongho if there’s anything?” Kibum replied confidently, though guilty of the lie.
“We know how Dongho’s like. If he promised you something, he wouldn’t break it. Not even for me. What is it that he can know and not me?” Soohyun groaned. “Kibum, I know you don’t want this, Xander-hyung don’t want this and you know how Kevin is about this whole thing.”
“I’m sorry, maybe you don’t know me well enough.” Kibum turned to leave, though internally applauding in awe at Soohyun’s talent for catching on.
He would have told Soohyun, if the older member wasn’t one to fight for the others, if the older member could keep things to himself like Dongho.
Kibum knew, Soohyun would go to the end of the world to protect them.
-
“Xander-hyung…I need help.” Kibum said sheepishly over the phone. “Are you free?”
“Hm?” Alexander yawned, checking the time from his alarm clock. “Oh no, you’re not seriously calling me at two in the morning for help, are you?”
“I was sorting out the web, there was some format problem, and then I started coming up with a notice…” Kibum sighed. “Are you with me?”
“Fishy cheesecake…” Alexander mumbled. “Go bother Kevin…”
“Well, it seems like you’ve happily forgotten that he’s horribly pissed at me. And you. Besides, they have recordings tomorrow and we don’t.” Kibum pursed his lips and thought of an idea to wake Alexander up. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“MY EAR!” Alexander yelled back. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
“Help me translate an overseas purchase notice?” Kibum chuckled, imagining the oldest member’s expression in the comfort of his own bedroom.
“Kibum, I really love you but I wish you could have told me this at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. I will give you your reply six hours later, thank you for letting me have my much needed beauty sleep.” Alexander ended the call without a proper goodbye, switching off his phone, just in case.
He ended up being unable to return to sleep having a certain heavy weight in his heart, rushing it out till three in the morning, and finally putting his mind to rest. Kibum promised to let Alexander have 0.0001% of the company.
Alexander “kindly” rejected.
-
“We are flying to Japan for Made In BS Japan, without our translators?” Dongho asked sadly, obviously referring to Alexander and Kibum.
“We don’t need them.” Kevin said confidently, a barely audible tremble in his voice.
“Kevin-hyung…” Dongho sighed, remembering Kibum with their secret that he was not to divulge. “I don’t like it when you’re like this.”
Kevin kept silent, checking his luggage for scratches although it obviously doesn’t.
Soohyun hugged the youngest from the back, nodding gently. “We’ll do our best. Eli said he’ll be taking over Xander’s crazy antics, so you’ll just have to react.”
Kiseop took a picture of the two, smiling as he made sure the picture was clear. He accidentally pressed the right button, causing the first picture he took to show up.
“Eli…” Kiseop mumbled, easily getting the member staring at the ceiling of Incheon airport to listen. “Look at this.”
Kibum was grabbing onto Dongho’s body from the back, as Alexander tugged the youngest’s left hand and Eli held the other. Soohyun carried Dongho’s two legs and according to Kiseop’s memory, Kevin was standing next to him, urging him to take the very first picture on his new camera. Kiseop took it and smiled, showing Kevin the photo which captured every fine detail.
Even the coffee stain on the sofa they never got to washing.
“I’ll miss this.” Kiseop sadly looked as Eli took the camera quietly, scanning the other pictures.
The stylist worked on Kiseop’s face with annoyance clear on her face, mumbling about how he was so inconsiderate, reddening his eyes and messing up the makeup. Kiseop apologised tiredly, quietly staying still as his makeup was touched up.
Soohyun looked at the other four and took in a deep breath. He would be the one taking care of them, now. As much as he hated being kept in the dark, if Kibum thought he shouldn’t know, he should at least respect that decision of the younger’s. Kibum was smart, he knew what he wanted, and he knew how to weigh his decisions.
The worst thing Soohyun could do right now to the other two, is to act like Kevin.
-
“Where’s Kev?” Kibum yawned, tired after pampering Dongho with his favourite food just to get him to return to his usual state since he was still unable to get over the fact Kibum was forced to leave. The youngest could usually act well in the studio for the sitcom, but Kibum wanted Dongho to stay that way and not just act for the camera. Kiseop was sleeping on Eli’s crossed legs, while Eli was unconscious against the mirror in the studio.
After days of busying himself with HnB company just to get his mind off U-KISS, Kibum finally created a free time slot Alexander asked for. The said former member had called for an impromptu meeting to try and finish appeasing the most troublesome member.
Soohyun smiled a little at the memory days ago, before telling Kibum about Kevin’s childish behaviours and how he stomped out the room with his little butt sticking out. Kibum’s eyes had a thankful glint, that Soohyun was treating him like a friend as always.
Dongho applauded Soohyun’s maturity in such a situation, but he waved it away. Soohyun was older. Dongho promised himself that he’d be as cool as Soohyun one day.
A slam of the door announced Kevin’s grand arrival.
“Welcome back.” Kibum said as some way of greeting Kevin. All the other possible greetings sounded awkward so he just made do with the first one he had thought of.
“Don’t you welcome me back, traitor.” Kevin rolled his eyes, searching for his bag in the practice room. A frown took over his face, as he couldn’t find the said object anywhere.
“It’s with me.” Alexander spoke, ignoring the death glare Kevin was sending. “I knew you’d try to ignore us, so sit down and let’s thrash it out.”
“Thrash what out? Thrash you out? I’ll happily throw you into a dustbin just so I can get your sickening face out of my sight.” Kevin spat out, angrily kicking the wooden floor before standing next to Eli and Kiseop’s sleeping figure.
“Kevin, that’s rude.” Kibum stared back into Kevin’s eyes, successfully making Kevin back down a bit. “Come here.”
“I refuse to.” Kevin turned his head wilfully towards another direction, which in the room full of mirrors, he could sadly still see them all.
“I said come here.”
“I said I refuse to.”
“You’re gonna play this game with me again?” Kibum threw an empty bottle of water towards the mirror beside Kevin. Kevin didn’t even flinch. He knew that’d be the way, seeing Kibum smirk. “Childish much?”
“You’re not allowed to call me names.” Kevin held his head up, suddenly annoyed at the smug way Kibum looked.
“Says the one who gives me one.” Kibum threw back the statement. “Come here.”
Dongho groaned at the drama, using Soohyun’s thigh as his temporary pillow. “Wake me up when something more interesting happens.”
“I don’t want to.” Kevin frowned.
“Okay, I’m tired, they’re tired, you’re tired, we’re all tired.” Alexander yawned to prove his point. “Can you get to Kibum’s side already because we know you’ll end up doing that anyway?”
“What are you talking about? I will not!” Kevin screamed.
“Wimp, in denial and probably cried all day. Your eyes are so red.” Kibum sighed dramatically.
Kevin ran towards the older member and gave him a slap across the face. “I’m not a wimp! I didn’t cry! I just got so angry that I saw red. Like, literally.”
“You finally made your way here.” Kibum checked his watch as if to mock Kevin. “Not bad, faster than the last time.”
Before Kevin could stomp away in realisation that he had been tricked (the nth time), Kibum dragged him down and made Kevin sit next to him. “What do you want!?”
“We’ll answer questions to the best of our abilities, ask whatever you want and stop acting like a spoilt brat.” Alexander cut in while advancing towards the two, before Kibum could put it in a way he deemed fit.
Soohyun grinned, chuckling to himself. Alexander and Kibum could handle Kevin best, and now they’re both ganging up against the youngest of the three. He sighed, not sure if he knows what to do with Kevin without them.
“I don’t care what happened, okay? I’m just angry, not bitter, not sad, not anything, so just let me go home!” Kevin sobbed, covering his face and mentally cursing himself for being such a baby. “I’m not crying! I just want to go home!”
“Kevin…” Kibum sighed and pulled Kevin harshly into his arms, rubbing with moderate strength on Kevin’s back, the way he liked it. “There’s things we can’t tell you, but we want to make sure you’ll be all right.”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” Kevin sniffed, clutching Kibum’s shoulders tightly and crying harder. “I’d be spectacular!”
“We clearly have to redefine spectacular.” Kibum smiled, nodding at Alexander. Alexander knelt down beside Kibum and tapped Kevin, who immediately let go of Kibum and grabbed hold of the oldest member.
“I’m not sorry.” Kevin said, voice cracking at the highest note.
“I don’t care.” Alexander grinned. “I kept many apologies to myself because I’ll never say one to you.”
“Stupid.” Kevin pouted, pulling away while wiping his tears away.
“I’ll return you to your Kibummie-hyung now.” Alexander patted Kevin’s head with a small smile, walking away to wake the other four up, including Soohyun who ended up closing his eyes from the day’s worth of work.
“Something interesting is about to happen. I think.” Alexander whispered to Dongho, smiling when Dongho mumbled incoherent words and stretched his arms cutely.
“Rearry?” Dongho yawned, rubbing his eyes awake.
“Hyung’s kidding, you don’t have to turn so red.” Kibum ruffled Kevin’s hair and turned the blushing boy to face him. “Dongho boasted to me that he kissed you before.”
“And so-”
Dongho smirked, watching Kibum lean forward with his head slightly tilting. Kevin backed away a bit, but couldn’t go far enough with a hand pressing him the opposite direction. A shorter than a second kiss, but Kevin couldn’t forget how it felt to have Kibum’s lips pressed against his.
“Why did you kiss me for!?” Kevin blushed harder, embarrassment turning into fake anger.
“Because I’m a fan of U-KISS from now on.” Kibum laughed. “A Kiss Me, so you better work hard to perform well on stage. I’ll be stalking you diligently, but I’ll consider about sending fan gifts. A little too expensive, hm.”
Kevin whacked Kibum’s chest playfully, kissing Kibum’s cheek quickly. “Remember to give me the biggest present every time.”
Kibum smiled back, ignoring Kiseop’s whine on wanting the bigger than biggest one.
-
“Don’t come back here again.”
Kibum and Alexander exchanged glances, before sighing.
“That’s the last time for me.” Kibum managed a smile. “You’ll still be there, but they wouldn’t let you near U-KISS.”
“You know I don’t like it when you say it so flatly.” Alexander frowned. “We’re still part of U-KISS. Not exactly, but in spirit. We all agreed on that.”
“They just chased me out.” Kibum changed the topic. “You think Kevin will be all right?”
“Yeah, all you ever think about is Kevin.” Alexander laughed, ruffling Kibum’s hair. “But I can’t deny he’s annoyingly fragile.”
“Tch. Been there, done that, I know what to expect. That’s all.” Kibum shrugged. “Well, I don’t want to stay out here any longer. Want to join me for a cup of coffee or sightsee at my small company?”
“Sounds great.” Alexander smiled slightly, following Kibum to his car.
-
“You think Kibummie-hyung is sick?”
“Huh?” Kiseop blinked. “Why?”
“He hasn’t appeared for two days. Should I call him?” Kevin looked thoughtful for a second, before fishing out his handphone.
“Why would you call him? It’s normal he isn’t here.” Eli sighed. “He’s out of the group.”
Soohyun whacked Eli’s head, hard. Kiseop widened his eyes and stared warily as Kevin stopped breathing.
“Oh.” A strangled word. “Oh.”
“Kevin, breathe.” Kiseop patted Kevin’s back lightly, before worrying when Kevin remained like a stone. “BREATHE!”
“HE’S OUT OF THE GROUP!” Kevin bawled, throwing himself on Kiseop as he broke down once more. He clawed Kiseop’s back and sobbed violently. “Kibummie-hyung wouldn’t be here again!”
“Kevin, it…it’ll be…better.” Kiseop bit his lip to make sure he doesn’t join in the crying mess. “We’ll get…used to it…”
“I DON’T WANT TO GET USED TO IT!” Kevin defiantly screamed, running out.
Soohyun turned his glare to Kiseop, who cowered behind Eli and wiped the tears that formed in his eyes away before it could fall.
“It’s okay.” Soohyun sighed. “I know you aren’t up to comforting Kevin either.”
-
“I don’t want! Don’t want! Don’t want! Don’t want!” Kevin yelled.
“Calm down, Kev.” Kibum frowned as he arranged merchandises in the storeroom, his shoulder raised to keep his handphone in place. “If you’re going to stay this way, I’m going to ignore you.”
“You can’t do this to me!” Kevin whined, small voice pleading. “You know you can’t…”
“Kev, you know this is neither Kiseop’s nor Eli’s fault.” Kibum looked at the big Piro Piro bolster before him and checked if there were any flaws. “So don’t be angry at them, and don’t be angry at any members for that matter. They’re in this with you. You’re not the only one feeling the difference.”
“Well, then it’s all your fault, isn’t it?!” Kevin sniffed, kicking the wall before him, still unwilling to return to the practice room.
“You can blame me, sure. If you feel better, curse me all you like.” Kibum even gave a shrug, hugging the bolster tight. “I decided to leave, afterall.”
“You know I can’t and now you’re using that against me! I hate you so freaking much.” Kevin kicked harder, whimpering when it hurts.
“I know, I’ve been hated by you before.” Kibum tried to joke, but it came out kind of bitter. “Kevin, go back to the practice room and apologise for being a kid. They are worried.”
“Kibummie-hyung…”
“Kevin, do it.” Kibum smiled, hoping that would reach the other end of the phone line. “I’ll be proud of you if you did. And you know I’m usually unimpressed by your stupid acts. Also, don’t make me reconsider about sending you a fan gift. I like my idol with the brightest smile. And by the way? I’m staring at your present right now.”
“I’m not convinced.” Kevin pouted, turning and leaning against the wall. “Unless you can give me details.”
“Well, I can let you hear me packing it, scribbling your address on it and throwing it up in the sky.” Kibum laughed. “Enough, get back there, okay? And smile for me. Go, go, take a selca and send it to me. I’m hanging up~! Bye!”
“Wait!” Kevin screamed, sighing when the line went dead. “Stupid Kibummie-hyung, always doing things this way.”
His phone vibrated as a message reached his inbox. He opened it curiously, shaking his head at the content.
Get back there, this is an order, stupid fish!
-
The news spread like wildfire. Countless cried, and Kibum felt he had a certain thing he needs to do. He sat down and pushed his work documents aside on his own study table, taking time to construct a perfect explanation even NH media cannot sue him for.
Tears rolled down his eyes as he typed the last words, on how he would miss U-KISS, how they’re more than family, how he will come back out as an entrepreneur.
“Thank you.” Kibum whispered, pressing his face against the sleeve of his T-shirt. “For the support and love I felt for two years at the least.”
He shut down the computer, burying himself yet again in work before he leaves to check on the company.
-
On my way to the company this morning, I received a call from my friend. I was surprised and looked through the internet for 5 hours.
A lot of articles were written and many people were comforting me. Through the comments of the fans and others, I saw a lot of pictures and videos which were filled with memories.
Something that cannot be helped, cannot be helped. Looking at back at everything, I cannot help but to be upset…
I will work hard to show you a good image, be it in my broadcasting activities or Piro-Piro. I worked really hard because I wanted to do well ^_^... Kiss Me I love you... And to the U-Kiss members, I still love you as before, really…
Thank you for reading my whining.
-
“The number you are calling is currently not available. Please try again later.”
Kibum angrily threw his phone into the mess of cardboard boxes. It was the fifth time he tried calling Alexander and he still could not contact the other.
“Please be okay, you stupid rash hyung!” Kibum groaned, punching the wall with frustrations still burning in his chest.
“Why would you switch off your phone at this time, damn it!”
-
The many fans’ reactions only made Alexander feel worse. It felt as if it was his responsibility that his fans were sad. Those that had been there for him through good and bad times.
So he turned up the volume of his speakers, shut the windows and slammed the doors. He was thankful he was living alone at this point of time, not wanting his parents to worry about him if he were to react so violently back at home.
He blasted happy songs, sad songs, rock songs, R&B songs, and every song just seemed to fit his situation perfectly, as if mocking him.
He doesn’t understand why every song fits so well. Even their songs could make him cry even harder, curling into a rounded figure. “You broke my heart, tore me apart.”
A small part of him even thought he heard Dongho wailing. “You are the only one, please don’t leave me.”
U-KISS was everything, and Alexander never thought it would change. “You’re my everything forever. The only one that I hope, you are the one, until the end of time.”
And even if he knew his members were against Kibum and him leaving, a small part of him felt the lyrics yelling at him. “Ok, it’s ok, I’m alright without you. Ok, it’s ok, don’t be so conceited.”
Alexander knew, his life was going crazy, and Eli just “had to” voice out Alexander’s feelings towards the one who ruined this life of his.
“You make me pissed off!”
-
“These are the two new members, treat them well.”
Kevin purposely pressed himself into the corner of the room, covering himself with thick jackets and empty boxes. People can call him anti-social for all he cares, because he’s not in the mood of saying hello and getting a new friend just yet.
If fans could accept an indirect (or maybe pretty direct) replacement of Kibum and Alexander, well, good for them. He isn’t as magnanimous or as big-hearted. He needs time, and if anyone pushes him, they suffer consequences.
Kevin Woo isn’t a smiling angel. Kibum gave him that nickname, just because the younger smiles excessively around the joker.
Soohyun tried to be a little friendlier, but the other two were pretty shy and the “senior” members didn’t help the situation. He then decided to make them sit down and talk to him about everything, in an attempt to get closer to someone he would be working with.
Kiseop sighed, joining Soohyun five minutes later. Soohyun was always so concerned about others. When he first joined, it was also Soohyun that helped eased the awkward atmosphere. Kiseop didn’t deem it right to leave Soohyun to the job again.
Eli acted as if his games were more interesting. They were many, but none of them were really fun. He just didn’t feel comfortable about the idea of joking with them.
Dongho closed his eyes in an attempt to memorise his new script. He mumbled almost inaudibly, lips moving faster as he ran through the content.
A gasp, as Kevin stood up and ran out of the practice room without so much of an explanation.
-
“ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!” Kevin yelled, kicking the door harshly. “ALEXANDER LEE EUSEBIO!”
“COMING, FISH.” Alexander screamed back over the booming music, unlocking the door before sighing at Kevin’s figure. “What?”
“Invite me in.” Kevin shrugged, taking off his shoes.
“I refuse to, stand outside.”
“Huh?” Kevin shouted, leaning closer to hear over the loud music.
“COME IN!” Alexander groaned, locking the door after Kevin entered.
The younger strolled in and immediately ran to Alexander’s room, turning down the volume of the speakers. He walked back to Alexander with a bright smile. “Much better.”
“What are you here for?” A raised eyebrow, before the darker of the two checked his watch. “It’s practise time, isn’t it?”
“…” Kevin dropped his head and drew a big circle on the floor. “Well, you can’t nag at me.”
“Of course I can, why can’t-“ Alexander cut himself short, watching a sad face being drawn. “Oh. Well, some relationships never change and you’re still that worrisome daughter.”
“Well, Kibummie-hyung sent me here to check on the troublesome mother.” Kevin shrugged, smiling a little. “You don’t usually blast music. You say it’s bad for our ears. Are you okay?”
“What did Kibum tell you exactly?” Alexander raised an eyebrow, remembering that they were supposed to keep some part of the issue as secret.
“He said he can’t call you and you are very upset about NH media not letting you see us.” The younger sighed. “He said you probably want to make sure I’m all right so he told me to come. Don’t be sad, I’ll meet you up every time you come up with a secret meeting!”
Alexander chuckled, and even if that was not what he really thought of as he cried all morning that day, he nodded. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
-
“Kevin, get over here.” Eli gaped at the news he was reading in English. “Please tell me I haven’t lost touch with the English language.”
“What…?” Kevin blinked, taking over the computer and scanning through the content. There was the original post in Korean inside the article, and Kevin could only gape. “…”
“This…” Eli pointed out at a key sentence, unable to comprehend right. “They…didn’t…?”
“I always thought of the members as more than family. I’m extremely upset that I have to part with them like this, but it was because of my lacking areas which warranted my former agency to desire a member replacement.” Kevin read. He changed his tone and repeated. He tried an even more positive tone but the words came out the same way. “WHAT LACKING AREAS IS HE LACKING? DAMN IT!”
“Kevin, I didn’t call you over to be angry.” Eli rolled his eyes. “Why are they keeping it from us?”
“I don’t care, I’m going to confront them head first.” Kevin stomped off, before getting pulled back and thrown towards the closest thing with a cushion. “What do you want?!”
“They wouldn’t tell you, Kibum-hyung and Xander-hyung have been keeping it from us even after saying that they’ll leave.” The older of the two sighed. “Why are you such an idiot, could you analyse it instead of rushing to talk to someone?”
“You’re the idiot over here, who said I was going to find either of the two?” Kevin angrily yelled, cursing NH media under his breath.
-
“I don’t know what he’s saying. He agreed to leave, Kevin. Calm down.”
“I KNOW HIM! You don’t tell me what he’s not, I know him!” Kevin agitatedly screamed. It took a cup of cold water thrown at him in the face to calm him down. “He’s not like what you said, he wouldn’t leave…I knew it, I just needed his confirmation…”
“Kevin, do you need the contract he signed?”
And that was all that was needed to leave Kevin whimpering in defeat.
-
Kiseop sneaked out of the recording studio after receiving a message from an unknown number.
“Xander-hyung!” Kiseop called out, relieved. “Kibum-hyung wouldn’t accept my calls. I think he got spammed enough by Kevin that he thinks Kevin’s using our phones to reach him. He did abuse Dongho’s phone, after all.”
“No, he deleted all the contacts like NH media did for your phones.” Alexander smiled faintly. “You know how he is, hard on the outside, big softie on the inside. He can’t move on if he doesn’t do that. But seriously, any idiot will know it’s Kevin calling. How’s he doing?”
“Well, he’s not bitterly angry anymore…” Kiseop puffed his cheeks and let out the air slowly. “But he’s horribly sad at what he inferred. The both of you…didn’t leave willingly.”
“So it’s out?” Alexander sighed.
“So it’s true?” Kiseop widened his eyes.
“Yes, it’s true.” Alexander nodded tiredly. “But don’t start crying on me, you still have to film. And how did Kevin end up remembering Kibum’s number? He’s not like you, keeping a list in case you lose your phone.”
“He has a habit of pressing numbers instead of contacts for people he likes.” Kiseop smiled. “He memorised Kibum’s number long ago. Seriously, you should have known.”
“I don’t stalk him the way you stalk every member.” Alexander laughed, patting Kiseop’s bottom twice. “Go on, go back to filming.”
“I’ll miss you.” Kiseop sighed. “I thought we could keep in touch since you guys left willingly and you both wouldn’t want to throw me away. But it seems like they’re trying to erase everything, I’ll miss you even more dearly.”
“Kiseop, don’t make me cry.” Alexander looked away, letting out a big breath of air to try and gain control of his emotions. “Go away.”
Kiseop stayed a little longer despite the older, hugging him from the back. “But I wouldn’t change with time. I’ll love you even more. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, no?”
“Stupid sap.”
-
Soohyun and Eli agreed to corner Kevin. They brought the younger of the three to a side and tried to talk some sense into him. “Kevin, you gotta wake up.”
“Go away!” Kevin cried. “You’re blocking my phone signal!”
“It wouldn’t work, he wouldn’t talk to you.” Soohyun stated harshly. “He wants us to move on, he wants YOU to move on.”
“I don’t believe you.” The younger insistently shook his head. “I want to hear it from him.”
“He’s out of here.” Eli groaned. “Long ago, he’s moving on, you have to move on.”
“HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME BEHIND!” Kevin screamed, running away from the two and bumping into Dongho in the process. “Dongho, save me! Save me from those two maniacs!”
“Kevin-hyung, it’s all right, don’t bother about them.” Dongho rubbed circles over Kevin’s back as the older one towered over him. “Go away, leave Kevin-hyung alone.”
“Dongho, don’t join him in this.” Soohyun warned sternly.
“Just go away.” Dongho looked back stubbornly.
Eli managed to pull Soohyun away, giving one last worried glance at the two.
“Oh, Dongho!” Kevin wailed, tightening his grip around the younger. “They moved on already, what’s wrong with the world?!”
“Hyung, I have a secret message from Kibum-hyung.” Dongho took in a deep breath. “He told me to take care of you, he told me that you will have to move on. Will you do that, if I give you the secret present he had for you?”
Kevin nodded furiously like a little child naively believing anything his mother said. Dongho was relieved he wasn’t lying to the older member, for it would hurt to see his dejected face. The youngest searched for his phone, before pressing a very big file and turning up the volume.
"Dongho, let Kevin hear this, won't you? Silly boy, always making people around him worry. I know it's him, calling incessantly."
A pause, and a slight clearing of throat. Kevin's heart accelerated in anticipation.
"Kevin, I've been thinking of what to get you day and night. Other than the ones I'm getting everyone, I don't know what personalized one to give you. So here I am, making sure you are well. You've moved on once without me, I'm sure you can do it twice. Don't whine and say I shouldn't do this. I know, but what do I do instead? Listen to your calls and keep you in the past? You know I'd do everything for you, but that's something I wouldn't compromise - your future. I told Dongho to take care of you because everyone knows how you like things soft. Kiseop's dumbly straightforward, Eli's a little harsh, Soohyun-hyung's impatient. Dongho wouldn't hurt you, he likes you too much, and you like him even more. Now...about your present."
Kevin embraced Dongho tightly, making him a temporary bolster as he sobbed. Now that he heard it from Kibum, he didn't like it. He held his breath as the silence lasted longer and longer.
"Listen Kev, what I've done to you, that was my mistake boy. I can't live without you, but we'll move on."
"I love you baby, I'll miss you baby. My life is incomplete, without you girl." Kibum sang the whole song in a small studio he set up, using the instrumental to remake it with only his vocals. “This song always makes me think of you, even though I can't sing it to you now. It's been a long time since I last felt your touch, and now I miss you. The tears I cry every night, oh baby girl. I think of you every minute, every day, please, come back to me once again.”
"Without you, I miss you very much. Without you, please forgive me." Kevin sang along, voice blending with Kibum's slightly lower one. “Without you, you’re the only one I love, can’t live without you.”
"Now I understand, you are my everything."
-
"Keep your passports safe. Kiseop, stop looking around." The manager frowned.
Kiseop kept quiet, he was sort of anticipating Kibum’s surprise visit to the airport, just because. He gave the environment one last scan before sighing in defeat.
Eli felt awkward around Alexander. Someone so close, but he didn't have an idea how he should act around him. Especially now, since fans were staring at their every move. He knows he wouldn’t just suddenly break down into tears, yet he felt so distant right now.
Dongho was nowhere to be seen, Soohyun was chatting casually with the stylists.
Kevin did all the talking, but Alexander didn't feel good enough to reply with the same enthusiasm. The younger of the foreign trio tried to get an idea of what it felt like to not be in U-KISS, more probably wanting to imagine what Kibum was going through instead of easing Alexander’s sadness.
“Are things the same?” Kevin thoughtfully asked. “Or slightly different, or out of the world different?”
Dongho appeared and patted Kevin’s shoulder. “Kevin-hyung…”
“I’ll move on.” Kevin smiled. “Just…wanted to put myself in their shoes. Oh, Xander-hyung, please don’t cry tomorrow. If you do, I will too, and that’s horrible.”
Eli swung his body around as they waited for Alexander’s answer, but the older only nodded. “Xander-hyung…”
“Yes, Eli?” Alexander gently asked, and that broke something in Eli. The fact that it was so gentle, so soft, so not bubbly, so not the Alexander he used to know.
“I-I…” Eli coughed. “Nothing.”
Alexander didn’t probe. Eli didn’t speak.
-
Alexander smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He cried. But he smiled.
Soohyun smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He sobbed. But he smiled.
Kiseop smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He teared. But he smiled.
Eli smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He teared. But he smiled.
Kevin smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He cried. But he, too, smiled.
Dongho smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He blinked the tears away. But he smiled.
-
Kibum was two hours away. He watched. He laughed. He saw Hyungjoon and Jungmin hug, a friendship that lasted after troubles. He let the lone tear slip. But a part of him trusted the members. And so, he smiled.
-
Text translations not by me, credits to the original translators.
Kevin had that too part in his ending not because of my personal bias, but because he was the only one unable to move on in this fic. He appeared too many times because of my personal bias, though.
Ending is crap.
BIG NOTICE, please proceed to this link, which explains my INDEFINITE HIATUS, if you haven't seen it already.
Fandom(s): U-KISS
Pairing(s): OT7
Rating: PG-13
Genre: IDEK
Word Count: 8,587 words (Part 2 Only)
Warnings: Freak warnings. I’m angry right now. Wrote this the very second I found out about the news, may contain inaccuracies, esp. on Xander’s case. More warnings below, scroll to bottom to read.
Author's Notes: Heck, I wrote U-KISS disbandment before, now two members are leaving. This is my retribution, whatever I’ve done wrong, I get the impact right now. Yeah, thanks.
“You’ll tell the rest tomorrow.” President Kim stated, gesturing at the manager. “You two can choose not to speak. Don’t contradict, don’t even try.”
Alexander and Kibum looked at each other and resigned themselves to their fate.
“I know they will react to the news. Make sure they are safe.” The oldest of the four reminded the manager, who nodded. “Any questions?”
“We will take part in keeping them safe.” Kibum added with a stubborn tone.
“We won’t tell them anything.” Alexander promised, wanting to make sure Kibum was allowed to do what he needed to do. There were a few members that depended on the younger, because Kibum had a huge responsibility since their debut.
“Make sure they don’t try anything funny.” He said strictly to the manager, as if refusing to acknowledge the other two’s presence.
“Let’s go.” Alexander motioned, seeing as his job was done.
Kibum quietly followed, slamming the door as the last few words left the President’s lips.
“Thank you for cooperating.”
-
“Yah, can you boys listen for a bit?” The manager yelled, annoyance completely obvious. Kevin covered his mouth and tried to hold in the laughter, but Kibum suddenly standing and moving towards Alexander was more effective.
“Hyung?” Kevin questioned, only getting a faint smile back.
“The company has some news for you all.” The oldest man sighed, looking to Kibum and Alexander for help. They both shrugged. “Well, uh...”
“Is it bad news?” Kiseop warily asked.
“Sort of...okay, fine, it's horrible news.” He closed his eyes, cursing his luck. Why does he have to be the one to break it to the other five?
“What is it?” Soohyun bravely inquired, putting the slightly tensed atmosphere to the back of his mind.
“U-KISS…” The manager groaned, pointing at Alexander and Kibum. “Is losing these two members.”
“…”
Kevin looked to the duo for confirmation. Kibum only turned away.
“Why?” Eli coughed out, staring at Alexander especially. Wasn’t he the one who proclaimed his love for U-KISS and wants the rest of the members to promise that they’ll work together till they are all tired of singing, before disbanding together but keeping their friendship intact?
“Kibum wants to focus on his business with his brother. Alexander needs to further his studies.” Three heads instantly dropped to the floor, aware of the lie.
“What do you need to study for that I don’t?” Dongho questioned softly, sad eyes directed at the oldest member.
“You were coping fine!” Kevin yelled. “I can’t believe you! You’re doing it all over again! You enjoy screwing up my life, don’t you?!”
Alexander turned to Kibum for comfort, and when the awkward pat on his shoulder as a temporary relief wasn’t enough, he hurried out of the room.
Kiseop stood up and ran out of the room in full speed, while Dongho exited the place lifelessly, needing some peace to clear his mind.
Eli waited for a second to check if anyone was going to make any moves to give chase, but there was only Kevin hysterically advancing towards Kibum with a punch ready for the older’s face. He rushed out with only one person clouding his mind - Kiseop.
Soohyun grabbed hold of Kevin’s thin arms and locked the younger boy with him, who glared angrily at Kibum with murderous intent. Soohyun nodded with a sad smile at Kibum, who understood it and turned to the exit, searching for Dongho.
Kevin pushed Soohyun away from the back the moment Kibum closed the door behind him, proving that he had the strength to actually fight Soohyun’s arm-lock. He directed his anger at Soohyun, weakly hammering the older member’s chest.
“This shouldn’t be happening…”
-
Kibum found the youngest in the practice room next to theirs, a room trainees used, but there were none at the moment.
“Dongho, can you keep a secret?” Kibum sighed. It was only now that he found out how whiney his members...or ex-members are.
“What.” Dongho said with a sharp tone in his voice. Kibum broke into a smile, placing his hand on Dongho's hair and ruffling them. Dongho was curious but didn't want to act like he cared, so baby-like. “Say it.”
Kibum sighed again. “Well, I was forced to leave.”
“WHAT?!” Dongho shrieked. “Why would they do something so stupid?!”
“They say it's because we aren't good enough and so there'll be a member replacement, but I'm suspecting that there's another reason.” Kibum shrugged, no longer hypersensitive to the issue.
“You look like you don't care.” Dongho growled, pushing Kibum to the floor and crawling on him. “What now, you don't love this adorable me anymore?”
“You're not adorable anymore, anyway.” Kibum chuckled. “Growing up to become a man...Do take care of yourself and...”
“Kevin-hyung.” Dongho stared down at Kibum, squinting his eyes at the older member. Yes, Kibum will always be a fellow member. “What about him?”
“Yeah, take care of him, all right? He's taking this as badly as I thought.” Kibum looked to his left, trying to fight the urge to cry away. Kevin hated him when he left Xing too, and the hatred probably came back twice the size before.
“I'm not talking about that!” Dongho groaned, hitting the older member's head on the forehead. “What will he do without you?”
“Move on.” Kibum coughed out, feeling the familiar wrenching at his chest area.
“Yeah, then what about us? And you? And Xander-hyung?” Dongho frowned. “What if we got a number one finally? And all five of us will cry so badly that those two will have to say something, that they'll thank the fans but who are they to thank on U-Kiss's behalf?”
“Dongho...”
“We worked hard for that together. Xander-hyung, Soohyun-hyung, you, Kiseop-hyung, Eli-hyung, Kevin-hyung and me, not those two! And when we get a number one, all I'll think of is how sad it is that it wasn't you and Xander-hyung that was there with us.” Dongho burst into tears, leaning down to hug the older member and cry in his embrace.
“I'll be watching your every move.” Kibum smiled. “I'll call you right after broadcast and scream at you about how much of a baby you are.”
“Hyung, I don't know who they are but I hate them already.” Dongho rolled his eyes, directing his vengeance to the floor beside Kibum's head.
“It'll be all right, I can't promise anything but it'll be all right. You better don't turn rebellious now that I'm not there and Xander-hyung's not there to nag at you.” Kibum joked, pulling Dongho closer into the hug.
“Will you send me every Piro Piro merchandise?” Dongho asked as a childish request of sort.
“No, things don't come by free. You'll get a members' discount, though. I'll make you a membership card right now.” Kibum quickly took out a name card he had been working on and wrote Dongho's name in the empty space. “Here, bring this along and a gift I'm preparing for you guys to my company any day you deem fit, and you'll enjoy a member special including a meal, my treat.”
“Someone's earning big bucks or something?” Dongho smiled, not because of the subtly promised Piro Piro, but because Kibum promised they would meet again. He shifted and kissed Kibum on the lips, pressing for a bit longer. “I love you.”
“Ew, did you just kiss me?” Kibum laughed, pushing Dongho off him before sitting up.
“Hey, I kissed Kevin-hyung with these lips too, okay?” Dongho pouted.
“Right.” Kibum rolled his eyes, before turning serious. “So...don't tell anyone what I told you today. I'm not supposed to. At least not yet.”
“Why not?” Dongho's sad eyes looked even more heart-breaking than Soohyun's, but that was kind of a given.
“They probably wanted you guys to move on faster.” Kibum shook his head. “I don't know anymore.”
“Kibum-hyung...”
-
What are friends for?
Wasn't it for better and for worse?
What are friends there to do?
Wasn't it to stay with you despite everything?
So how did Xander-hyung and Kibum-hyung end up leaving?
Kiseop cried, and for once since 2008, he wanted to commit suicide.
Eli was right behind Kiseop’s heels, worried as to how Kiseop was taking this. Kevin was crying and wailing, but then he became angry so he should be fine. Soohyun's there anyway. Kibum went to comfort Dongho (probably) and Alexander fled the scene. Kiseop just ran out, silent, and Eli wouldn't forgive himself if Kiseop was hurt in any way.
“Kiseop...”
“Eli! Eli!” Kiseop wailed, clinging onto Eli as if his life depended on it. “Eli!”
“I know.” Eli clenched his fist and brought them up to keep Kiseop safe in his arms. Sad, but safe. “They must have some reasons, they wouldn't just leave. I don't know, I don't believe what the company says but Xander-hyung and Kibum-hyung didn't even fight those words back...”
“I don't want this to happen, I don't want to lose any of you, but now I'm losing two!” Kiseop clutched Eli's arms and lowered his head on Eli's shoulders. “Why must this happen? We lost our mother and the weirdo uncle, how can we survive with only a father? Who will feed that stupid dog?”
“Kiseop...” Eli couldn't collect his thoughts enough to reply. “They are just...leaving to let's say...Africa. They're still in the family but it's harder to communicate with them.”
“It won't ever be the same again.” A voice that was barely a whisper, so weak, so breakable.
“Yeah, but we promised to be together. We will be, in spirit, and I know they wouldn't break that promise.” Eli lifted Kiseop's head from his shoulder, looking into his eyes seriously. “Don't break down this way, we'll get worried.”
“It must be my fault.” Kiseop insisted. “It must be my fault! If I never joined, they wouldn't dare to replace the members, they'd be skeptic of the fans reactions!”
“Untrue!” Eli yelled. “Don't say that of yourself, don't you dare!”
“Eli...I'm afraid.” Kiseop whimpered. “I don't want this...”
-
Alexander took a walk out in the empty space near the company, taking a breather. He thought he had gotten over the issue, but when the members reacted the way he had expected, it was too real and it hit him hard.
Though it was kind of a fuzzy feeling to know he means so much to all the other five, and a heart-breaking feeling to know he would be leaving them.
That was the only reason why there were fresh tears running down his cheeks. The five were the only ones he couldn’t let go of. He would happily skip out of the company if it was some people he never liked working with. He could give up the fame, the money, the fans, the passion, but not the bonds he’d built over the years.
He knew Kibum would make Dongho listen. Dongho keeps up a cool front, but he’s really innocent on the inside and would trust Kibum, because Kibum wouldn’t lie to him either.
Soohyun was stronger, he would have put himself in Kibum’s and his shoes and thought about why Kibum and him are leaving. Maybe they didn’t want to leave, maybe Soohyun would figure that out.
Eli…Alexander wasn’t really sure how Eli was taking things. Eli had a little secret habit of putting others before himself. Kiseop ran out, and Eli was worried for Kiseop’s safety, knowing how the slightly older one probably wouldn’t take note of his surroundings.
Alexander smiled. It was small actions like these that showed how much of a family they felt like. There will be those who need a certain person to help them up again, those who rely on themselves no matter what, and those who take the surface value and wail like a baby.
Kevin.
Alexander chuckled a little. Fans knew how he loved to tease Kevin wherever he went because Kevin was just dense and tactless. He knew the younger boy would cry and yell and scream. Everything, before probably launching into bitchy mode and snapping at everyone.
Pretty possible.
Kevin was never good at controlling his feelings. He just lets it burst out before sorting them out and smiling the smile he doesn’t mean, just to tide through the low period before he remembered what being happy was all about again.
And he knew, Kevin was the member he couldn’t set his mind at ease about. He doesn’t know who else, other than Kibum, could actually handle that sweet-turned-nasty-in-a-bad-mood boy.
But this time, Kibum (and him) were the ones who stepped on the land mine.
-
“Kevin, don't cry...” Soohyun managed to mumble, patting Kevin's shoulder awkwardly. “It's...not okay, but, don't cry anymore. It'll make us all feel worse to see you like that.”
“I'm not crying!” Kevin shouted. “I'm not a wimp, crying over this! I'm angry! Very angry!”
“Why are you angry? It's their choice, we should respect it even if we don’t like it.” Soohyun shook his head. “You’re making things hard for them too.”
“I don’t care!” Kevin yelled, as if being loud could make him more believable. “It’s selfish of them, selfish! We put all other things after U-KISS, and out of a sudden they have something else so they quit! Quitters make me angry!”
“Oh yeah…” Soohyun paused to think. “It’s too out of a sudden, maybe it isn’t-”
“Idiots!” Kevin roughly wiped the tears from his wet face, only for it to be tear-stained the next. “Stupid idiots! The more I think about it, the angrier I am!”
“You’re not really angry…”
“I’M ANGRY!” Kevin glared deadly at Soohyun despite the other being a lot older. “I’m awfully angry! What do you mean I’m not really angry? You think I’m sad? I will never be sad for them! Leave if they want! But they’re…they are PUTTING OUR JOBS AT RISK!”
“The company stated we’re still singing.” Soohyun hid his small smile. Kevin was amusing to watch, despite the situation. “You’re in denial.”
“Denial?” Kevin blinked, as if trying to translate that in his head. “Denial?! You’re kidding me! I’m not denying anything! I’m all open, and I’m telling you, Soohyun-hyung, I’m very angry!”
“Okay, says the crying Kevin.” Soohyun nodded and raised his hand as a signal for Kevin to stop. “I’m tired, I had used a fair share of effort trying to process the information, so would you please just shut up or go get some food to stuff your mouth with?”
“I’m not in denial! I’m not crying!” Kevin repeated, before leaving as Soohyun had asked, but not without stomping and shutting the door with a slam.
-
“That’s all for today, we’ll hold another Star Date meeting nearer the date, so that’s all you need to know right now.” The PD ended off, packing up while Eli and Kevin just stood up to bow and leave.
Kevin climbed into the van first, taking the middle seat. Eli shrugged, joining Kevin there, since there were only the two of them.
“Don’t sit next to me.” Kevin growled. Eli only kept silent and shut the door, nodding at the manager in front. “Don’t ignore me!”
“What do you want?” Eli yawned. “Don’t you think I deserve to get some rest?”
“You’re so unfeeling! You probably don’t even care that Xander-hyung and Kibummie-hyung are leaving! You don’t want them with us! Go away, I don’t know a beast like you!” Kevin pushed Eli further away from him, glaring angrily.
“What am I supposed to do? Cry like you to prove I care?” Eli rolled his eyes. “Kev, that’s just childish.”
“Oh, right, you’re so mature you don’t care. So brave and manly, aren’t you?” Kevin snorted, turning to glare out the window. “And I never cried. I was just angry!”
“In your words, you CARED that they are leaving.” Eli groaned. “And Kevin, you’re so impossible with all your stupid inferences.”
“I don’t care in a sad way! They, well, I’ve said it before, are putting our jobs at risk!” Kevin insisted. “And I’m not stupid!”
“That’s another one of those inferences.”
“Forget it! You’re the impossible one!” Kevin kicked the seat before him, gaining a curse from the manager. “You should be the one leaving!”
“Guess what, maybe I will.” Eli threw his jacket at Kevin and ignored the tears that Kevin let loose.
“WELL THEN LEAVE!” Kevin screamed, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging them tightly. “Leave me one by one…I don’t even care.”
“Kevin…” Eli sighed, shifting closer and hugging Kevin’s tiny figure. “Don’t act like this. I just didn’t want to make it difficult for them.”
-
Kibum never attended MTV Daum Music Festival. Alexander decided he’ll make the best out of his last performance and joined the other five.
Kevin was still insistent on treating Alexander like air. Or nitrogen gas to be exact.
“Let’s take photos together~!” Kevin sang, pulling Dongho to a side. He looked up and smiled. “Light is pretty. Okay, one, two, three, smile~!”
Dongho immediately groaned as Kevin checked the photo. “Can you not find me anymore? My face is like horribly big and- hey, it came out kind of nice.”
“I have skills.” Kevin replied proudly, insisting on taking a second photo. Dongho refused to, running away to “say hi to friends”.
“Kiseoppie!” Kevin called out sweetly. “You free?”
“For what?” The other member blinked, eyeing the game in his hand.
“Let’s take pictures together!” Kevin grinned, which Kiseop immediately smiled at. “One, two, cheese!”
Alexander looked from his seat as Eli played Mahjong on his phone and Soohyun rested with his ears plugged. He knew Kiseop was unintentionally forgetting him, but Kevin was making everything he did obvious.
Bored, he decided to check Twitter and saw that Kevin tweeted the selcas he took with Kiseop already. He checked them out and smiled a bit, though recognising the insincere smile.
Fans started filling his timeline with questions about the “AlVin” couple. He sighed, deciding to push the question to Kevin, who would obviously just ignore it.
Kiseop then fled to finish his game, leaving Kevin playing with his phone before a mirror.
“Don’t mind him.” Eli smiled. “He’s just being dumb like always.”
-
“I need to talk to you, Kibum.” Soohyun grabbed Kibum’s hand and pulled him back. “Don’t make me make you stay.”
“I need to rush off.” Kibum sighed.
“You’re being evasive.” The older frowned, scrutinising Kibum with his sharp eyes. “There’s something you’re hiding.”
“There’s nothing.” A small smile, but Kibum kept it inside. It was obvious Soohyun knew many things, more than everything the other fools in the group could. “Nothing at all.”
“You knew it long ago, before Xander-hyung started acting weirdly too.” He stated, as if raising evidence. “And we all know, Dongho isn’t a baby that’s easy to be pacified. You told him the truth, but you are hiding something from me.”
“Well, why don’t you ask Dongho if there’s anything?” Kibum replied confidently, though guilty of the lie.
“We know how Dongho’s like. If he promised you something, he wouldn’t break it. Not even for me. What is it that he can know and not me?” Soohyun groaned. “Kibum, I know you don’t want this, Xander-hyung don’t want this and you know how Kevin is about this whole thing.”
“I’m sorry, maybe you don’t know me well enough.” Kibum turned to leave, though internally applauding in awe at Soohyun’s talent for catching on.
He would have told Soohyun, if the older member wasn’t one to fight for the others, if the older member could keep things to himself like Dongho.
Kibum knew, Soohyun would go to the end of the world to protect them.
-
“Xander-hyung…I need help.” Kibum said sheepishly over the phone. “Are you free?”
“Hm?” Alexander yawned, checking the time from his alarm clock. “Oh no, you’re not seriously calling me at two in the morning for help, are you?”
“I was sorting out the web, there was some format problem, and then I started coming up with a notice…” Kibum sighed. “Are you with me?”
“Fishy cheesecake…” Alexander mumbled. “Go bother Kevin…”
“Well, it seems like you’ve happily forgotten that he’s horribly pissed at me. And you. Besides, they have recordings tomorrow and we don’t.” Kibum pursed his lips and thought of an idea to wake Alexander up. “AHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“MY EAR!” Alexander yelled back. “WHAT DO YOU WANT?!”
“Help me translate an overseas purchase notice?” Kibum chuckled, imagining the oldest member’s expression in the comfort of his own bedroom.
“Kibum, I really love you but I wish you could have told me this at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. I will give you your reply six hours later, thank you for letting me have my much needed beauty sleep.” Alexander ended the call without a proper goodbye, switching off his phone, just in case.
He ended up being unable to return to sleep having a certain heavy weight in his heart, rushing it out till three in the morning, and finally putting his mind to rest. Kibum promised to let Alexander have 0.0001% of the company.
Alexander “kindly” rejected.
-
“We are flying to Japan for Made In BS Japan, without our translators?” Dongho asked sadly, obviously referring to Alexander and Kibum.
“We don’t need them.” Kevin said confidently, a barely audible tremble in his voice.
“Kevin-hyung…” Dongho sighed, remembering Kibum with their secret that he was not to divulge. “I don’t like it when you’re like this.”
Kevin kept silent, checking his luggage for scratches although it obviously doesn’t.
Soohyun hugged the youngest from the back, nodding gently. “We’ll do our best. Eli said he’ll be taking over Xander’s crazy antics, so you’ll just have to react.”
Kiseop took a picture of the two, smiling as he made sure the picture was clear. He accidentally pressed the right button, causing the first picture he took to show up.
“Eli…” Kiseop mumbled, easily getting the member staring at the ceiling of Incheon airport to listen. “Look at this.”
Kibum was grabbing onto Dongho’s body from the back, as Alexander tugged the youngest’s left hand and Eli held the other. Soohyun carried Dongho’s two legs and according to Kiseop’s memory, Kevin was standing next to him, urging him to take the very first picture on his new camera. Kiseop took it and smiled, showing Kevin the photo which captured every fine detail.
Even the coffee stain on the sofa they never got to washing.
“I’ll miss this.” Kiseop sadly looked as Eli took the camera quietly, scanning the other pictures.
The stylist worked on Kiseop’s face with annoyance clear on her face, mumbling about how he was so inconsiderate, reddening his eyes and messing up the makeup. Kiseop apologised tiredly, quietly staying still as his makeup was touched up.
Soohyun looked at the other four and took in a deep breath. He would be the one taking care of them, now. As much as he hated being kept in the dark, if Kibum thought he shouldn’t know, he should at least respect that decision of the younger’s. Kibum was smart, he knew what he wanted, and he knew how to weigh his decisions.
The worst thing Soohyun could do right now to the other two, is to act like Kevin.
-
“Where’s Kev?” Kibum yawned, tired after pampering Dongho with his favourite food just to get him to return to his usual state since he was still unable to get over the fact Kibum was forced to leave. The youngest could usually act well in the studio for the sitcom, but Kibum wanted Dongho to stay that way and not just act for the camera. Kiseop was sleeping on Eli’s crossed legs, while Eli was unconscious against the mirror in the studio.
After days of busying himself with HnB company just to get his mind off U-KISS, Kibum finally created a free time slot Alexander asked for. The said former member had called for an impromptu meeting to try and finish appeasing the most troublesome member.
Soohyun smiled a little at the memory days ago, before telling Kibum about Kevin’s childish behaviours and how he stomped out the room with his little butt sticking out. Kibum’s eyes had a thankful glint, that Soohyun was treating him like a friend as always.
Dongho applauded Soohyun’s maturity in such a situation, but he waved it away. Soohyun was older. Dongho promised himself that he’d be as cool as Soohyun one day.
A slam of the door announced Kevin’s grand arrival.
“Welcome back.” Kibum said as some way of greeting Kevin. All the other possible greetings sounded awkward so he just made do with the first one he had thought of.
“Don’t you welcome me back, traitor.” Kevin rolled his eyes, searching for his bag in the practice room. A frown took over his face, as he couldn’t find the said object anywhere.
“It’s with me.” Alexander spoke, ignoring the death glare Kevin was sending. “I knew you’d try to ignore us, so sit down and let’s thrash it out.”
“Thrash what out? Thrash you out? I’ll happily throw you into a dustbin just so I can get your sickening face out of my sight.” Kevin spat out, angrily kicking the wooden floor before standing next to Eli and Kiseop’s sleeping figure.
“Kevin, that’s rude.” Kibum stared back into Kevin’s eyes, successfully making Kevin back down a bit. “Come here.”
“I refuse to.” Kevin turned his head wilfully towards another direction, which in the room full of mirrors, he could sadly still see them all.
“I said come here.”
“I said I refuse to.”
“You’re gonna play this game with me again?” Kibum threw an empty bottle of water towards the mirror beside Kevin. Kevin didn’t even flinch. He knew that’d be the way, seeing Kibum smirk. “Childish much?”
“You’re not allowed to call me names.” Kevin held his head up, suddenly annoyed at the smug way Kibum looked.
“Says the one who gives me one.” Kibum threw back the statement. “Come here.”
Dongho groaned at the drama, using Soohyun’s thigh as his temporary pillow. “Wake me up when something more interesting happens.”
“I don’t want to.” Kevin frowned.
“Okay, I’m tired, they’re tired, you’re tired, we’re all tired.” Alexander yawned to prove his point. “Can you get to Kibum’s side already because we know you’ll end up doing that anyway?”
“What are you talking about? I will not!” Kevin screamed.
“Wimp, in denial and probably cried all day. Your eyes are so red.” Kibum sighed dramatically.
Kevin ran towards the older member and gave him a slap across the face. “I’m not a wimp! I didn’t cry! I just got so angry that I saw red. Like, literally.”
“You finally made your way here.” Kibum checked his watch as if to mock Kevin. “Not bad, faster than the last time.”
Before Kevin could stomp away in realisation that he had been tricked (the nth time), Kibum dragged him down and made Kevin sit next to him. “What do you want!?”
“We’ll answer questions to the best of our abilities, ask whatever you want and stop acting like a spoilt brat.” Alexander cut in while advancing towards the two, before Kibum could put it in a way he deemed fit.
Soohyun grinned, chuckling to himself. Alexander and Kibum could handle Kevin best, and now they’re both ganging up against the youngest of the three. He sighed, not sure if he knows what to do with Kevin without them.
“I don’t care what happened, okay? I’m just angry, not bitter, not sad, not anything, so just let me go home!” Kevin sobbed, covering his face and mentally cursing himself for being such a baby. “I’m not crying! I just want to go home!”
“Kevin…” Kibum sighed and pulled Kevin harshly into his arms, rubbing with moderate strength on Kevin’s back, the way he liked it. “There’s things we can’t tell you, but we want to make sure you’ll be all right.”
“Why wouldn’t I be all right?” Kevin sniffed, clutching Kibum’s shoulders tightly and crying harder. “I’d be spectacular!”
“We clearly have to redefine spectacular.” Kibum smiled, nodding at Alexander. Alexander knelt down beside Kibum and tapped Kevin, who immediately let go of Kibum and grabbed hold of the oldest member.
“I’m not sorry.” Kevin said, voice cracking at the highest note.
“I don’t care.” Alexander grinned. “I kept many apologies to myself because I’ll never say one to you.”
“Stupid.” Kevin pouted, pulling away while wiping his tears away.
“I’ll return you to your Kibummie-hyung now.” Alexander patted Kevin’s head with a small smile, walking away to wake the other four up, including Soohyun who ended up closing his eyes from the day’s worth of work.
“Something interesting is about to happen. I think.” Alexander whispered to Dongho, smiling when Dongho mumbled incoherent words and stretched his arms cutely.
“Rearry?” Dongho yawned, rubbing his eyes awake.
“Hyung’s kidding, you don’t have to turn so red.” Kibum ruffled Kevin’s hair and turned the blushing boy to face him. “Dongho boasted to me that he kissed you before.”
“And so-”
Dongho smirked, watching Kibum lean forward with his head slightly tilting. Kevin backed away a bit, but couldn’t go far enough with a hand pressing him the opposite direction. A shorter than a second kiss, but Kevin couldn’t forget how it felt to have Kibum’s lips pressed against his.
“Why did you kiss me for!?” Kevin blushed harder, embarrassment turning into fake anger.
“Because I’m a fan of U-KISS from now on.” Kibum laughed. “A Kiss Me, so you better work hard to perform well on stage. I’ll be stalking you diligently, but I’ll consider about sending fan gifts. A little too expensive, hm.”
Kevin whacked Kibum’s chest playfully, kissing Kibum’s cheek quickly. “Remember to give me the biggest present every time.”
Kibum smiled back, ignoring Kiseop’s whine on wanting the bigger than biggest one.
-
“Don’t come back here again.”
Kibum and Alexander exchanged glances, before sighing.
“That’s the last time for me.” Kibum managed a smile. “You’ll still be there, but they wouldn’t let you near U-KISS.”
“You know I don’t like it when you say it so flatly.” Alexander frowned. “We’re still part of U-KISS. Not exactly, but in spirit. We all agreed on that.”
“They just chased me out.” Kibum changed the topic. “You think Kevin will be all right?”
“Yeah, all you ever think about is Kevin.” Alexander laughed, ruffling Kibum’s hair. “But I can’t deny he’s annoyingly fragile.”
“Tch. Been there, done that, I know what to expect. That’s all.” Kibum shrugged. “Well, I don’t want to stay out here any longer. Want to join me for a cup of coffee or sightsee at my small company?”
“Sounds great.” Alexander smiled slightly, following Kibum to his car.
-
“You think Kibummie-hyung is sick?”
“Huh?” Kiseop blinked. “Why?”
“He hasn’t appeared for two days. Should I call him?” Kevin looked thoughtful for a second, before fishing out his handphone.
“Why would you call him? It’s normal he isn’t here.” Eli sighed. “He’s out of the group.”
Soohyun whacked Eli’s head, hard. Kiseop widened his eyes and stared warily as Kevin stopped breathing.
“Oh.” A strangled word. “Oh.”
“Kevin, breathe.” Kiseop patted Kevin’s back lightly, before worrying when Kevin remained like a stone. “BREATHE!”
“HE’S OUT OF THE GROUP!” Kevin bawled, throwing himself on Kiseop as he broke down once more. He clawed Kiseop’s back and sobbed violently. “Kibummie-hyung wouldn’t be here again!”
“Kevin, it…it’ll be…better.” Kiseop bit his lip to make sure he doesn’t join in the crying mess. “We’ll get…used to it…”
“I DON’T WANT TO GET USED TO IT!” Kevin defiantly screamed, running out.
Soohyun turned his glare to Kiseop, who cowered behind Eli and wiped the tears that formed in his eyes away before it could fall.
“It’s okay.” Soohyun sighed. “I know you aren’t up to comforting Kevin either.”
-
“I don’t want! Don’t want! Don’t want! Don’t want!” Kevin yelled.
“Calm down, Kev.” Kibum frowned as he arranged merchandises in the storeroom, his shoulder raised to keep his handphone in place. “If you’re going to stay this way, I’m going to ignore you.”
“You can’t do this to me!” Kevin whined, small voice pleading. “You know you can’t…”
“Kev, you know this is neither Kiseop’s nor Eli’s fault.” Kibum looked at the big Piro Piro bolster before him and checked if there were any flaws. “So don’t be angry at them, and don’t be angry at any members for that matter. They’re in this with you. You’re not the only one feeling the difference.”
“Well, then it’s all your fault, isn’t it?!” Kevin sniffed, kicking the wall before him, still unwilling to return to the practice room.
“You can blame me, sure. If you feel better, curse me all you like.” Kibum even gave a shrug, hugging the bolster tight. “I decided to leave, afterall.”
“You know I can’t and now you’re using that against me! I hate you so freaking much.” Kevin kicked harder, whimpering when it hurts.
“I know, I’ve been hated by you before.” Kibum tried to joke, but it came out kind of bitter. “Kevin, go back to the practice room and apologise for being a kid. They are worried.”
“Kibummie-hyung…”
“Kevin, do it.” Kibum smiled, hoping that would reach the other end of the phone line. “I’ll be proud of you if you did. And you know I’m usually unimpressed by your stupid acts. Also, don’t make me reconsider about sending you a fan gift. I like my idol with the brightest smile. And by the way? I’m staring at your present right now.”
“I’m not convinced.” Kevin pouted, turning and leaning against the wall. “Unless you can give me details.”
“Well, I can let you hear me packing it, scribbling your address on it and throwing it up in the sky.” Kibum laughed. “Enough, get back there, okay? And smile for me. Go, go, take a selca and send it to me. I’m hanging up~! Bye!”
“Wait!” Kevin screamed, sighing when the line went dead. “Stupid Kibummie-hyung, always doing things this way.”
His phone vibrated as a message reached his inbox. He opened it curiously, shaking his head at the content.
Get back there, this is an order, stupid fish!
-
The news spread like wildfire. Countless cried, and Kibum felt he had a certain thing he needs to do. He sat down and pushed his work documents aside on his own study table, taking time to construct a perfect explanation even NH media cannot sue him for.
Tears rolled down his eyes as he typed the last words, on how he would miss U-KISS, how they’re more than family, how he will come back out as an entrepreneur.
“Thank you.” Kibum whispered, pressing his face against the sleeve of his T-shirt. “For the support and love I felt for two years at the least.”
He shut down the computer, burying himself yet again in work before he leaves to check on the company.
-
On my way to the company this morning, I received a call from my friend. I was surprised and looked through the internet for 5 hours.
A lot of articles were written and many people were comforting me. Through the comments of the fans and others, I saw a lot of pictures and videos which were filled with memories.
Something that cannot be helped, cannot be helped. Looking at back at everything, I cannot help but to be upset…
I will work hard to show you a good image, be it in my broadcasting activities or Piro-Piro. I worked really hard because I wanted to do well ^_^... Kiss Me I love you... And to the U-Kiss members, I still love you as before, really…
Thank you for reading my whining.
-
“The number you are calling is currently not available. Please try again later.”
Kibum angrily threw his phone into the mess of cardboard boxes. It was the fifth time he tried calling Alexander and he still could not contact the other.
“Please be okay, you stupid rash hyung!” Kibum groaned, punching the wall with frustrations still burning in his chest.
“Why would you switch off your phone at this time, damn it!”
-
The many fans’ reactions only made Alexander feel worse. It felt as if it was his responsibility that his fans were sad. Those that had been there for him through good and bad times.
So he turned up the volume of his speakers, shut the windows and slammed the doors. He was thankful he was living alone at this point of time, not wanting his parents to worry about him if he were to react so violently back at home.
He blasted happy songs, sad songs, rock songs, R&B songs, and every song just seemed to fit his situation perfectly, as if mocking him.
He doesn’t understand why every song fits so well. Even their songs could make him cry even harder, curling into a rounded figure. “You broke my heart, tore me apart.”
A small part of him even thought he heard Dongho wailing. “You are the only one, please don’t leave me.”
U-KISS was everything, and Alexander never thought it would change. “You’re my everything forever. The only one that I hope, you are the one, until the end of time.”
And even if he knew his members were against Kibum and him leaving, a small part of him felt the lyrics yelling at him. “Ok, it’s ok, I’m alright without you. Ok, it’s ok, don’t be so conceited.”
Alexander knew, his life was going crazy, and Eli just “had to” voice out Alexander’s feelings towards the one who ruined this life of his.
“You make me pissed off!”
-
“These are the two new members, treat them well.”
Kevin purposely pressed himself into the corner of the room, covering himself with thick jackets and empty boxes. People can call him anti-social for all he cares, because he’s not in the mood of saying hello and getting a new friend just yet.
If fans could accept an indirect (or maybe pretty direct) replacement of Kibum and Alexander, well, good for them. He isn’t as magnanimous or as big-hearted. He needs time, and if anyone pushes him, they suffer consequences.
Kevin Woo isn’t a smiling angel. Kibum gave him that nickname, just because the younger smiles excessively around the joker.
Soohyun tried to be a little friendlier, but the other two were pretty shy and the “senior” members didn’t help the situation. He then decided to make them sit down and talk to him about everything, in an attempt to get closer to someone he would be working with.
Kiseop sighed, joining Soohyun five minutes later. Soohyun was always so concerned about others. When he first joined, it was also Soohyun that helped eased the awkward atmosphere. Kiseop didn’t deem it right to leave Soohyun to the job again.
Eli acted as if his games were more interesting. They were many, but none of them were really fun. He just didn’t feel comfortable about the idea of joking with them.
Dongho closed his eyes in an attempt to memorise his new script. He mumbled almost inaudibly, lips moving faster as he ran through the content.
A gasp, as Kevin stood up and ran out of the practice room without so much of an explanation.
-
“ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!” Kevin yelled, kicking the door harshly. “ALEXANDER LEE EUSEBIO!”
“COMING, FISH.” Alexander screamed back over the booming music, unlocking the door before sighing at Kevin’s figure. “What?”
“Invite me in.” Kevin shrugged, taking off his shoes.
“I refuse to, stand outside.”
“Huh?” Kevin shouted, leaning closer to hear over the loud music.
“COME IN!” Alexander groaned, locking the door after Kevin entered.
The younger strolled in and immediately ran to Alexander’s room, turning down the volume of the speakers. He walked back to Alexander with a bright smile. “Much better.”
“What are you here for?” A raised eyebrow, before the darker of the two checked his watch. “It’s practise time, isn’t it?”
“…” Kevin dropped his head and drew a big circle on the floor. “Well, you can’t nag at me.”
“Of course I can, why can’t-“ Alexander cut himself short, watching a sad face being drawn. “Oh. Well, some relationships never change and you’re still that worrisome daughter.”
“Well, Kibummie-hyung sent me here to check on the troublesome mother.” Kevin shrugged, smiling a little. “You don’t usually blast music. You say it’s bad for our ears. Are you okay?”
“What did Kibum tell you exactly?” Alexander raised an eyebrow, remembering that they were supposed to keep some part of the issue as secret.
“He said he can’t call you and you are very upset about NH media not letting you see us.” The younger sighed. “He said you probably want to make sure I’m all right so he told me to come. Don’t be sad, I’ll meet you up every time you come up with a secret meeting!”
Alexander chuckled, and even if that was not what he really thought of as he cried all morning that day, he nodded. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
-
“Kevin, get over here.” Eli gaped at the news he was reading in English. “Please tell me I haven’t lost touch with the English language.”
“What…?” Kevin blinked, taking over the computer and scanning through the content. There was the original post in Korean inside the article, and Kevin could only gape. “…”
“This…” Eli pointed out at a key sentence, unable to comprehend right. “They…didn’t…?”
“I always thought of the members as more than family. I’m extremely upset that I have to part with them like this, but it was because of my lacking areas which warranted my former agency to desire a member replacement.” Kevin read. He changed his tone and repeated. He tried an even more positive tone but the words came out the same way. “WHAT LACKING AREAS IS HE LACKING? DAMN IT!”
“Kevin, I didn’t call you over to be angry.” Eli rolled his eyes. “Why are they keeping it from us?”
“I don’t care, I’m going to confront them head first.” Kevin stomped off, before getting pulled back and thrown towards the closest thing with a cushion. “What do you want?!”
“They wouldn’t tell you, Kibum-hyung and Xander-hyung have been keeping it from us even after saying that they’ll leave.” The older of the two sighed. “Why are you such an idiot, could you analyse it instead of rushing to talk to someone?”
“You’re the idiot over here, who said I was going to find either of the two?” Kevin angrily yelled, cursing NH media under his breath.
-
“I don’t know what he’s saying. He agreed to leave, Kevin. Calm down.”
“I KNOW HIM! You don’t tell me what he’s not, I know him!” Kevin agitatedly screamed. It took a cup of cold water thrown at him in the face to calm him down. “He’s not like what you said, he wouldn’t leave…I knew it, I just needed his confirmation…”
“Kevin, do you need the contract he signed?”
And that was all that was needed to leave Kevin whimpering in defeat.
-
Kiseop sneaked out of the recording studio after receiving a message from an unknown number.
“Xander-hyung!” Kiseop called out, relieved. “Kibum-hyung wouldn’t accept my calls. I think he got spammed enough by Kevin that he thinks Kevin’s using our phones to reach him. He did abuse Dongho’s phone, after all.”
“No, he deleted all the contacts like NH media did for your phones.” Alexander smiled faintly. “You know how he is, hard on the outside, big softie on the inside. He can’t move on if he doesn’t do that. But seriously, any idiot will know it’s Kevin calling. How’s he doing?”
“Well, he’s not bitterly angry anymore…” Kiseop puffed his cheeks and let out the air slowly. “But he’s horribly sad at what he inferred. The both of you…didn’t leave willingly.”
“So it’s out?” Alexander sighed.
“So it’s true?” Kiseop widened his eyes.
“Yes, it’s true.” Alexander nodded tiredly. “But don’t start crying on me, you still have to film. And how did Kevin end up remembering Kibum’s number? He’s not like you, keeping a list in case you lose your phone.”
“He has a habit of pressing numbers instead of contacts for people he likes.” Kiseop smiled. “He memorised Kibum’s number long ago. Seriously, you should have known.”
“I don’t stalk him the way you stalk every member.” Alexander laughed, patting Kiseop’s bottom twice. “Go on, go back to filming.”
“I’ll miss you.” Kiseop sighed. “I thought we could keep in touch since you guys left willingly and you both wouldn’t want to throw me away. But it seems like they’re trying to erase everything, I’ll miss you even more dearly.”
“Kiseop, don’t make me cry.” Alexander looked away, letting out a big breath of air to try and gain control of his emotions. “Go away.”
Kiseop stayed a little longer despite the older, hugging him from the back. “But I wouldn’t change with time. I’ll love you even more. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, no?”
“Stupid sap.”
-
Soohyun and Eli agreed to corner Kevin. They brought the younger of the three to a side and tried to talk some sense into him. “Kevin, you gotta wake up.”
“Go away!” Kevin cried. “You’re blocking my phone signal!”
“It wouldn’t work, he wouldn’t talk to you.” Soohyun stated harshly. “He wants us to move on, he wants YOU to move on.”
“I don’t believe you.” The younger insistently shook his head. “I want to hear it from him.”
“He’s out of here.” Eli groaned. “Long ago, he’s moving on, you have to move on.”
“HE WOULDN’T LEAVE ME BEHIND!” Kevin screamed, running away from the two and bumping into Dongho in the process. “Dongho, save me! Save me from those two maniacs!”
“Kevin-hyung, it’s all right, don’t bother about them.” Dongho rubbed circles over Kevin’s back as the older one towered over him. “Go away, leave Kevin-hyung alone.”
“Dongho, don’t join him in this.” Soohyun warned sternly.
“Just go away.” Dongho looked back stubbornly.
Eli managed to pull Soohyun away, giving one last worried glance at the two.
“Oh, Dongho!” Kevin wailed, tightening his grip around the younger. “They moved on already, what’s wrong with the world?!”
“Hyung, I have a secret message from Kibum-hyung.” Dongho took in a deep breath. “He told me to take care of you, he told me that you will have to move on. Will you do that, if I give you the secret present he had for you?”
Kevin nodded furiously like a little child naively believing anything his mother said. Dongho was relieved he wasn’t lying to the older member, for it would hurt to see his dejected face. The youngest searched for his phone, before pressing a very big file and turning up the volume.
"Dongho, let Kevin hear this, won't you? Silly boy, always making people around him worry. I know it's him, calling incessantly."
A pause, and a slight clearing of throat. Kevin's heart accelerated in anticipation.
"Kevin, I've been thinking of what to get you day and night. Other than the ones I'm getting everyone, I don't know what personalized one to give you. So here I am, making sure you are well. You've moved on once without me, I'm sure you can do it twice. Don't whine and say I shouldn't do this. I know, but what do I do instead? Listen to your calls and keep you in the past? You know I'd do everything for you, but that's something I wouldn't compromise - your future. I told Dongho to take care of you because everyone knows how you like things soft. Kiseop's dumbly straightforward, Eli's a little harsh, Soohyun-hyung's impatient. Dongho wouldn't hurt you, he likes you too much, and you like him even more. Now...about your present."
Kevin embraced Dongho tightly, making him a temporary bolster as he sobbed. Now that he heard it from Kibum, he didn't like it. He held his breath as the silence lasted longer and longer.
"Listen Kev, what I've done to you, that was my mistake boy. I can't live without you, but we'll move on."
"I love you baby, I'll miss you baby. My life is incomplete, without you girl." Kibum sang the whole song in a small studio he set up, using the instrumental to remake it with only his vocals. “This song always makes me think of you, even though I can't sing it to you now. It's been a long time since I last felt your touch, and now I miss you. The tears I cry every night, oh baby girl. I think of you every minute, every day, please, come back to me once again.”
"Without you, I miss you very much. Without you, please forgive me." Kevin sang along, voice blending with Kibum's slightly lower one. “Without you, you’re the only one I love, can’t live without you.”
"Now I understand, you are my everything."
-
"Keep your passports safe. Kiseop, stop looking around." The manager frowned.
Kiseop kept quiet, he was sort of anticipating Kibum’s surprise visit to the airport, just because. He gave the environment one last scan before sighing in defeat.
Eli felt awkward around Alexander. Someone so close, but he didn't have an idea how he should act around him. Especially now, since fans were staring at their every move. He knows he wouldn’t just suddenly break down into tears, yet he felt so distant right now.
Dongho was nowhere to be seen, Soohyun was chatting casually with the stylists.
Kevin did all the talking, but Alexander didn't feel good enough to reply with the same enthusiasm. The younger of the foreign trio tried to get an idea of what it felt like to not be in U-KISS, more probably wanting to imagine what Kibum was going through instead of easing Alexander’s sadness.
“Are things the same?” Kevin thoughtfully asked. “Or slightly different, or out of the world different?”
Dongho appeared and patted Kevin’s shoulder. “Kevin-hyung…”
“I’ll move on.” Kevin smiled. “Just…wanted to put myself in their shoes. Oh, Xander-hyung, please don’t cry tomorrow. If you do, I will too, and that’s horrible.”
Eli swung his body around as they waited for Alexander’s answer, but the older only nodded. “Xander-hyung…”
“Yes, Eli?” Alexander gently asked, and that broke something in Eli. The fact that it was so gentle, so soft, so not bubbly, so not the Alexander he used to know.
“I-I…” Eli coughed. “Nothing.”
Alexander didn’t probe. Eli didn’t speak.
-
Alexander smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He cried. But he smiled.
Soohyun smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He sobbed. But he smiled.
Kiseop smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He teared. But he smiled.
Eli smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He teared. But he smiled.
Kevin smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He cried. But he, too, smiled.
Dongho smiled. He waved. He sang. He danced. He blinked the tears away. But he smiled.
-
Kibum was two hours away. He watched. He laughed. He saw Hyungjoon and Jungmin hug, a friendship that lasted after troubles. He let the lone tear slip. But a part of him trusted the members. And so, he smiled.
-
Text translations not by me, credits to the original translators.
Kevin had that too part in his ending not because of my personal bias, but because he was the only one unable to move on in this fic. He appeared too many times because of my personal bias, though.
Ending is crap.
BIG NOTICE, please proceed to this link, which explains my INDEFINITE HIATUS, if you haven't seen it already.