why i was crying
today was just....a really long day. i wasnt actually gonna explain it in here, but then i started crying while i was talking to maggie during dance, so i kinda feel like i owe it to the other ppl there to explain it.
ok well this morning went fine, and it was like completely normal and everything, and then i think around like 1, i was in my room, and all of a sudden i could hear my grandma screaming really loud and i could tell she was scared, and i ran into the tv room, and she was like holding my dad up, and he wasnt breathing and he wasnt responding at all. and honeslty...right then and there, i thought he was dead. and i think i kinda went into shock cuz i just turned around and walked back to my room and just kinda stood there. but kyle called 911, and an ambulance came, and they took him to the hospital, and as far as i know, hes ok. he got to come home and everything, but we dont really know what happend. but it just scared me so bad. but newaz, when they took my dad, my mom and grandma both went w/ them, and then melissa had to go to the school, so it was just me, kyle and my grandpa. well by this time, i was still kinda in shock i guess, so i put on shoes, and walked outside w/ my camera and took a bunch of picutures of just like the horses and stuff, cuz its stress relieving i guess. then i came back and started reorganizing my room. then kayla called, and i didnt even say anything about it to her, cuz i was still kinda ignoring the fact that it happened. mom and dad got home. then i sat around for a while, and then we left and mom took me to dance. and like...obviously when mom and dad were home, i couldnt cry, cuz mom wouldve known. and i donno...like...i feel like if at home, i act like i cant handle things, especially around mom, its gonna make things worse....so i dont. i act like im fine, even when im not. so by the time i got to dance, i was having to really try hard to hold back and not just break down. eventually maggie made me tell her what was wrong, nad i did cry, and i felt better after that. although maggie i have to tell you...what we were talking about....im past thinking its gonna help. it hasnt yet, and i donno...i cant explain it on here.
ok im exhausted. its been a bad day, and im going to sleep. so ill talk to yall all later, and in the morning im going to post the pictures i took yesterday, cuz a bunch fo them turned out really good.
well, goodnight
ok well this morning went fine, and it was like completely normal and everything, and then i think around like 1, i was in my room, and all of a sudden i could hear my grandma screaming really loud and i could tell she was scared, and i ran into the tv room, and she was like holding my dad up, and he wasnt breathing and he wasnt responding at all. and honeslty...right then and there, i thought he was dead. and i think i kinda went into shock cuz i just turned around and walked back to my room and just kinda stood there. but kyle called 911, and an ambulance came, and they took him to the hospital, and as far as i know, hes ok. he got to come home and everything, but we dont really know what happend. but it just scared me so bad. but newaz, when they took my dad, my mom and grandma both went w/ them, and then melissa had to go to the school, so it was just me, kyle and my grandpa. well by this time, i was still kinda in shock i guess, so i put on shoes, and walked outside w/ my camera and took a bunch of picutures of just like the horses and stuff, cuz its stress relieving i guess. then i came back and started reorganizing my room. then kayla called, and i didnt even say anything about it to her, cuz i was still kinda ignoring the fact that it happened. mom and dad got home. then i sat around for a while, and then we left and mom took me to dance. and like...obviously when mom and dad were home, i couldnt cry, cuz mom wouldve known. and i donno...like...i feel like if at home, i act like i cant handle things, especially around mom, its gonna make things worse....so i dont. i act like im fine, even when im not. so by the time i got to dance, i was having to really try hard to hold back and not just break down. eventually maggie made me tell her what was wrong, nad i did cry, and i felt better after that. although maggie i have to tell you...what we were talking about....im past thinking its gonna help. it hasnt yet, and i donno...i cant explain it on here.
ok im exhausted. its been a bad day, and im going to sleep. so ill talk to yall all later, and in the morning im going to post the pictures i took yesterday, cuz a bunch fo them turned out really good.
well, goodnight