new here
Hello, I'm Aella and I'm a sex addict.
I had been sober for 1 month until last night, which is what prompted me to come here.
I thought I was getting better. My urges to act out were dwindling, and then last night I went to a party and had a few drinks.
I ended up drinking and smoking a little much and became very flirty and finally decided to go to bed to stop myself from doing anything.
I decided to stay, because driving home would have been a ridiculous idea, so I crawled in my friend's bed. I got really comfortable, and then he came in a little later and we spooned, and we started making out and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex.
What's more is that I am in a relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time, and I have been trying to change myself for him- my ultimate goal has been to be faithful to him, so that I can feel like what we have is real. I have constantly acted out without him knowing, because I am afraid to tell him that I am addicted. I know he won't be able to handle that kind of news and he will leave me. My relationship with him is very important to me, and I have been trying very hard to correct my problems for him and the sake of our relationship, but last night I feel like it was out of my control...or perhaps I am just out of control.
No one understands. I've tried talking to friends about it, and they make me feel like I should tell him and that I am a pretty horrible person for doing this to someone I claim to love.
You all are my only hope.
I had been sober for 1 month until last night, which is what prompted me to come here.
I thought I was getting better. My urges to act out were dwindling, and then last night I went to a party and had a few drinks.
I ended up drinking and smoking a little much and became very flirty and finally decided to go to bed to stop myself from doing anything.
I decided to stay, because driving home would have been a ridiculous idea, so I crawled in my friend's bed. I got really comfortable, and then he came in a little later and we spooned, and we started making out and one thing led to another and we ended up having sex.
What's more is that I am in a relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for quite some time, and I have been trying to change myself for him- my ultimate goal has been to be faithful to him, so that I can feel like what we have is real. I have constantly acted out without him knowing, because I am afraid to tell him that I am addicted. I know he won't be able to handle that kind of news and he will leave me. My relationship with him is very important to me, and I have been trying very hard to correct my problems for him and the sake of our relationship, but last night I feel like it was out of my control...or perhaps I am just out of control.
No one understands. I've tried talking to friends about it, and they make me feel like I should tell him and that I am a pretty horrible person for doing this to someone I claim to love.
You all are my only hope.