Fic: Quarrel at the Circle K | SPN RPS | Jared/Jensen | R | 1/1
Title: Quarrel at the Circle K
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing/Characters: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes
Rating: R - for really nasty language
Word Count: 1,195
Summary: On the set of the new Clerks movie, Jared and Jensen realize they've signed on for more than they bargained for.
Disclaimer: I own *nothing*, and this never happened.
Author's Notes: Written for erickripke, for the second exchange at spn_buddy. Late, of course. And yes, my seat is already reserved on the short bus to a special hell for this.
Quarrel at the Circle K
“Oh, he can't be serious!” Jensen huffed, wide-eyed and annoyed as he read over page thirty-four of the script again, noting the other actors' lines in the scene, and just how much of it was to be ad-libbed. “Can he?” he asked with a slight whimper, looking sideways to his co-star, seated next to him in the shade of the tent.
Jared could only shake his head, eyes wide as well as he skimmed the same page of his own script. “I dunno. This... this is skirting some dangerous territory.”
“No shit,” Jen agreed. He knew their walk-on cameos in the new Clerks movie would be parodies of their real selves, but this was seriously pushing it. With anxiety starting to eat a hole in his stomach, Jen looked up and found their director striding toward them, shucking off his long duster and handing it off to an assistant, before pulling off his backwards baseball cap and running a hand through his hair. “Kevin!” he called out as the much shorter man approached them, finally stepping into the shade. “What the heck is this!?” His hands shaking a little, he held out the script to the other man, stabbing a finger at the page in question.
“Huh? Oh, that!” Kevin sort of smirked as he got close enough to see which page had Jensen's panties in such a twist. “Come on, you guys know what's on the internet! The fangirls are gonna eat this shit up!”
“No way,” Jared protested, standing from his chair and daring to try to loom over Kevin. “This is not what we signed on for. You didn't say anything about outing ourselves in this flick.”
“Oh, come on!” Kevin protested, starting to gesture widely with his hands. “Who the fuck's gonna think this is real, huh?”
“Only our entire fan base, that's who,” Jensen answered, feeling his stomach sour just thinking about it.
The director smirked again. “Well, maybe, but just think about what that'll do for your ratings next season! Every woman in her right mind will be glued to fucking Supernatural. Think about it!”
Jared spoke up, still looking down at Kevin, “Yeah, and we'll lose any semblance of a conservative fan base we had. Not exactly the best trade off.”
“Seriously, this is a bad move,” Jensen added. “My poor Mom is gonna have a heart attack when she sees this! I mean, behind closed doors is one thing, but this!”
Kevin just shook his head and held his hands up defensively. “All right, all right, I get it! No on-screen kiss! Fine! But will you at least do the lover's quarrel in front of the Circle K?” he pleaded. “Jason's got about ten lines to work with in that two minutes alone, and it sets up the entire next half-hour of the movie!”
Turning away, Jared threw his hands up in the air. “Fine! Fine! Whatever.”
Jensen only scowled. “This better not come back to bite us in the ass, Kevin, I swear to God.”
“It won't, I promise!” the director grinned.
Somehow, Jensen doubted that promise.
* * * * *
The anxiety eating Jensen's stomach hadn't eased one iota by the time he and Jared were called for their scene. When action was called, he practically leapt out of the sports car they'd been put in, Jared standing beside him in a heartbeat, and he rattled off his first lines without so much as a preamble, too aggravated to worry about setting up the scene.
“Man, I told you to get off the highway closer to the city, but did you listen to me? Noooo, of course not.”
“Would you shut up already, Jenny?” Jared came back, seeming to seethe beneath his own lines. “I'm not the one that planned this shitty-ass road trip to New York in the first place. We could've flown.”
Jensen rolled his eyes as he spread their folded up map over the hood of the car, making sure the camera got the best angle. “Hey, I said I wanted to see the sights along the way, not get lost in some Godforsaken hell hole backwater town. You're the idiot that was driving!”
“Oh, excuse the fuck out of me for having to piss.”
“You could have held it till we got closer to Chicago,” Jensen laid his accusation on thick, just as Jason's ad-libbed running commentary started up behind them. Not bothering to listen to the steady stream of obscenities, he plowed forward, “And for that matter, you didn't have to stop for that burger at that nasty-ass Stucky's thirty miles ago.”
“Bite me, Ackles. That was the best fucking burger I've had in months,” Jared replied, peering down at the map and tracing a finger along a random line.
“Please, my Mom makes better burgers than that,” Jen huffed.
Jay straightened and spread his arms wide. “Well, she isn't exactly here, now is she?” he shouted. “I've been eating craft services food since fucking July, you ass. Is it too much to ask for something different? Jesus!”
Jensen crowded into Jared's space at that, still trying to ignore the litany of filthy language behind them as the cameras captured both conversations - if Jason's monologue could be called that - separately. “Of course not! But fuck, greasy burgers? How is that any better than what we get on a daily basis on-set? Huh? We could have stopped at someplace nice, you know? Maybe gotten a steak. Treated ourselves. But oh, noooo...”
“Oh, will you give it a rest!?” Jared glared down at him, taking him by the shoulders.
Jensen panicked. Kevin said they didn't have to... but Jared was... Oh, God...
But instead of the full-on lip-lock that had been written in the script, Jared pressed a tight kiss to Jensen's forehead. Jen felt his knees go a little weak, knowing that he'd never be able to live this down, and completely unable to keep himself from melting under his boyfriend's lips.
“How 'bout we just get what we stopped for, use the bathroom, and get back on the road, all right, Jen? We can get a hotel room when we get to Chicago, and be in New York by tomorrow night, like we planned. And... I don't want us to fight anymore. I'm sorry.”
Jensen couldn't argue with that, even if it was just lines. And to hell with whatever made it into the movie; they would survive. He hoped.
“All right,” he half-whispered when the camera cut in close on them. “Yeah. I'm sorry, too. Let's just...”
Jared pulled him in for a quick hug, cutting off his sentence at the designated mark, and when they separated, the taller man grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the entrance of the Circle K.
Just as they stepped inside, the little bell on the door jingling, Jensen heard Jason's final ad-libbed line, “What I tell you? Those two are definitely fuckin' each other up the ass. Fuckin' celebrities...”
“Amen, brother,” Kevin added, his only line in the entire scene. “Amen.”
Aw, fuck...
* * * * *
Fandom: Supernatural RPS
Pairing/Characters: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Kevin Smith, Jason Mewes
Rating: R - for really nasty language
Word Count: 1,195
Summary: On the set of the new Clerks movie, Jared and Jensen realize they've signed on for more than they bargained for.
Disclaimer: I own *nothing*, and this never happened.
Author's Notes: Written for erickripke, for the second exchange at spn_buddy. Late, of course. And yes, my seat is already reserved on the short bus to a special hell for this.
Quarrel at the Circle K
“Oh, he can't be serious!” Jensen huffed, wide-eyed and annoyed as he read over page thirty-four of the script again, noting the other actors' lines in the scene, and just how much of it was to be ad-libbed. “Can he?” he asked with a slight whimper, looking sideways to his co-star, seated next to him in the shade of the tent.
Jared could only shake his head, eyes wide as well as he skimmed the same page of his own script. “I dunno. This... this is skirting some dangerous territory.”
“No shit,” Jen agreed. He knew their walk-on cameos in the new Clerks movie would be parodies of their real selves, but this was seriously pushing it. With anxiety starting to eat a hole in his stomach, Jen looked up and found their director striding toward them, shucking off his long duster and handing it off to an assistant, before pulling off his backwards baseball cap and running a hand through his hair. “Kevin!” he called out as the much shorter man approached them, finally stepping into the shade. “What the heck is this!?” His hands shaking a little, he held out the script to the other man, stabbing a finger at the page in question.
“Huh? Oh, that!” Kevin sort of smirked as he got close enough to see which page had Jensen's panties in such a twist. “Come on, you guys know what's on the internet! The fangirls are gonna eat this shit up!”
“No way,” Jared protested, standing from his chair and daring to try to loom over Kevin. “This is not what we signed on for. You didn't say anything about outing ourselves in this flick.”
“Oh, come on!” Kevin protested, starting to gesture widely with his hands. “Who the fuck's gonna think this is real, huh?”
“Only our entire fan base, that's who,” Jensen answered, feeling his stomach sour just thinking about it.
The director smirked again. “Well, maybe, but just think about what that'll do for your ratings next season! Every woman in her right mind will be glued to fucking Supernatural. Think about it!”
Jared spoke up, still looking down at Kevin, “Yeah, and we'll lose any semblance of a conservative fan base we had. Not exactly the best trade off.”
“Seriously, this is a bad move,” Jensen added. “My poor Mom is gonna have a heart attack when she sees this! I mean, behind closed doors is one thing, but this!”
Kevin just shook his head and held his hands up defensively. “All right, all right, I get it! No on-screen kiss! Fine! But will you at least do the lover's quarrel in front of the Circle K?” he pleaded. “Jason's got about ten lines to work with in that two minutes alone, and it sets up the entire next half-hour of the movie!”
Turning away, Jared threw his hands up in the air. “Fine! Fine! Whatever.”
Jensen only scowled. “This better not come back to bite us in the ass, Kevin, I swear to God.”
“It won't, I promise!” the director grinned.
Somehow, Jensen doubted that promise.
* * * * *
The anxiety eating Jensen's stomach hadn't eased one iota by the time he and Jared were called for their scene. When action was called, he practically leapt out of the sports car they'd been put in, Jared standing beside him in a heartbeat, and he rattled off his first lines without so much as a preamble, too aggravated to worry about setting up the scene.
“Man, I told you to get off the highway closer to the city, but did you listen to me? Noooo, of course not.”
“Would you shut up already, Jenny?” Jared came back, seeming to seethe beneath his own lines. “I'm not the one that planned this shitty-ass road trip to New York in the first place. We could've flown.”
Jensen rolled his eyes as he spread their folded up map over the hood of the car, making sure the camera got the best angle. “Hey, I said I wanted to see the sights along the way, not get lost in some Godforsaken hell hole backwater town. You're the idiot that was driving!”
“Oh, excuse the fuck out of me for having to piss.”
“You could have held it till we got closer to Chicago,” Jensen laid his accusation on thick, just as Jason's ad-libbed running commentary started up behind them. Not bothering to listen to the steady stream of obscenities, he plowed forward, “And for that matter, you didn't have to stop for that burger at that nasty-ass Stucky's thirty miles ago.”
“Bite me, Ackles. That was the best fucking burger I've had in months,” Jared replied, peering down at the map and tracing a finger along a random line.
“Please, my Mom makes better burgers than that,” Jen huffed.
Jay straightened and spread his arms wide. “Well, she isn't exactly here, now is she?” he shouted. “I've been eating craft services food since fucking July, you ass. Is it too much to ask for something different? Jesus!”
Jensen crowded into Jared's space at that, still trying to ignore the litany of filthy language behind them as the cameras captured both conversations - if Jason's monologue could be called that - separately. “Of course not! But fuck, greasy burgers? How is that any better than what we get on a daily basis on-set? Huh? We could have stopped at someplace nice, you know? Maybe gotten a steak. Treated ourselves. But oh, noooo...”
“Oh, will you give it a rest!?” Jared glared down at him, taking him by the shoulders.
Jensen panicked. Kevin said they didn't have to... but Jared was... Oh, God...
But instead of the full-on lip-lock that had been written in the script, Jared pressed a tight kiss to Jensen's forehead. Jen felt his knees go a little weak, knowing that he'd never be able to live this down, and completely unable to keep himself from melting under his boyfriend's lips.
“How 'bout we just get what we stopped for, use the bathroom, and get back on the road, all right, Jen? We can get a hotel room when we get to Chicago, and be in New York by tomorrow night, like we planned. And... I don't want us to fight anymore. I'm sorry.”
Jensen couldn't argue with that, even if it was just lines. And to hell with whatever made it into the movie; they would survive. He hoped.
“All right,” he half-whispered when the camera cut in close on them. “Yeah. I'm sorry, too. Let's just...”
Jared pulled him in for a quick hug, cutting off his sentence at the designated mark, and when they separated, the taller man grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the entrance of the Circle K.
Just as they stepped inside, the little bell on the door jingling, Jensen heard Jason's final ad-libbed line, “What I tell you? Those two are definitely fuckin' each other up the ass. Fuckin' celebrities...”
“Amen, brother,” Kevin added, his only line in the entire scene. “Amen.”
Aw, fuck...
* * * * *