Fic: Something to Laugh About | DCU | Jason Todd, Harley Quinn | R | 1/1
Title: Something to Laugh About
Fandom: DCU
Characters: Jason Todd, Harley Quinn
Rating: R - for Jason's mouth
Word Count: 1,504
Prompt: For 50_darkfics: #62 - Shadow
Summary: Jason knows someone is following him. When the shadowy figure finally confronts him, all Jay wants is a cup of coffee to kill the insanity. Set several weeks after the end of Countdown.
Disclaimer: DC and WB own it all. I own nothing. Darnit.
Author's Notes: A little late (as per the Plan), but this one demanded to be a bit longer than what I'd intended. :p
Something to Laugh About
Someone was following him. For the last three weeks, Jason knew someone had been following him, trailing him in the shadows of the seedier neighborhoods of New York that he tended to frequent these days. Not that he cared, but it was getting a little annoying. He hadn't so much as sent anyone to the hospital since he'd gotten back into the swing of things, hadn't even busted up any gangs large enough to realize he was a threat, so that couldn't be it. He certainly hadn't heard anything about a price on his head.
So who the fuck was following him all the damned time?
Wasn't his stalker-ish replacement, wasn't the Golden Boy, sure as shit wasn't the Bat himself. And why the hell would they need to follow him around anyway, or even want to? They'd made it perfectly clear he wasn't wanted in Gotham.
That left... no one Jason could think of. Donna and Kyle were off watching the watchers, and the rest of the Titans and the League seemed to all be off gearing up for whatever-the-fuck crisis Ray Palmer was supposed to have averted.
Chuckling bitterly at the reminder of their failure - if that's what it was - Jay turned down the alley beside his building, weary from a long night of busting heads and breaking arms, and aware of the shadow that moved in behind him. Every night for three freakin' weeks, the same routine. Get back from patrol, notice the skulking figure sliding along the wall, ignore it, and head inside for a beer, a TV dinner, and a mostly-bare mattress. Nothing new at this point, but enough was damn well enough.
Whirling before he got to the fire escape, he mock-lunged at the shadow, teeth bared and snarling. "Who the fuck are you!?" he demanded, pulling himself up short when the figure didn't move from its dark spot behind a dumpster. "The hell do you want!?"
Nothing. No response.
Frustrated to the point of gripping his hair with gloved fingers, he spun again, stalking deeper into the ally to the fire escape. "You'd better fuckin' pray I don't catch you," he grumbled as he began his ascent to the third floor.
* * * * *
Dammit, it was too hot to sleep. Lying sprawled out on the bed in his dingy two-room apartment, Jay stared out at the flashing neon sign across the street. Live Nudes, it flashed, garish pink. God, but he wished that place would close down so he could just get some goddamn sleep. Bad enough it was so hot that he was forced to try to sleep buck-naked and had to turn the box fan on, and was still sweating like a pig, the neon promise of real-life botched boob jobs and fake tans just made him want to slit somebody's throat. Which was bad for business. Nothing like a sleep-deprived ex-killer to bring the rage and catch unwanted attention.
Staring toward the open window with eyes so tired they felt like rocks set into his skull, he watched the flashing, the play of pink as it captured everything in the apartment like a silk scarf thrown over a lamp. The shadows that barely escaped the neon assault.
The shadow that shouldn't have been there.
Oh, he didn't have the brain power left to deal with this. Especially if it was the shadow that had been following him.
"What do you want?" he groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face vigorously and wishing he had a fresh pot of coffee brewed.
The figure didn't move.
His chest tight with exasperation, Jay sat bolt upright in the bed. "Would you say something!? I am getting real fucking tired of this one-way conversation, all right? If you're gonna kill me, just get it over with already." With that, he flopped back down, arms spread at his sides. "I'm too tired to give a shit, so this might be your only chance."
Finally, the rustle of fabric. Movement in the shadow. A heavy curtain pulling back even further than it already was. A face.
Jay's heart froze for a second.
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" he whined, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with the heels of his hands.
When he opened them again, the figure had stepped completely free of the shadow. Dressed in fitted jeans and a baby-doll tee, her blonde pigtails hanging limply, and her shoulders slumped, she looked more like a desperate street rat than Jay had ever been.
"What are you doing here, Harley?" he finished through gritted teeth.
"I'm sorry," she offered meekly. "I... I didn't have anywhere else to go. I mean, the Athenean shelters are all shut down now, and Holly went back to Gotham, and Mister--"
"Don't," Jason cut her off with a hard look. He so did not need this tonight. "I get it."
After his brain started working enough for him to grab the sheet and pull it over himself, he spat, "Why me? The fuck have I got to offer? I mean, besides a nice view, apparently."
"I... dunno," Harley shrugged as she dropped into the creaky, old recliner across from the bed. Propping her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, she regarded Jason. "I guess since I don't really have a place to be anymore, the best place to be is with someone else with nowhere else to be. You know? Birds of a feather."
"What the hell have you been smoking?" Eying her right back with a raised eyebrow, Jay shook his head. "Your precious boyfriend fuckin' killed me, remember? Birds of a feather, my ass."
Harley gave a half-pout, half-scowl at that. "I didn't have a damned thing to do with that, kiddo. I'm not a monster, just a gal who fell for the wrong guy, all right? I ain't even touched the wrong side of the law since I first went to that shelter. Not once."
The piercing gleam in her eyes told Jay that - as far as she was concerned - she was telling the truth. More than could be said about him, even if he had put all his guns away.
Heaving a sigh, he threw his feet over the side of the bed and wrapped the sheet around his waist, still eying Harley. "This is insane," he muttered as he trudged over to the open kitchen to find some coffee to put on.
From behind him, he heard her rise and follow him. "No, what's insane is how you and me don't mean much o' nothin' to the people that were supposed to protect us and love us and care whether we lived or died. What's insane is how you and me got swallowed up by their damned shadows and left in the dark."
Slamming a cabinet after he'd found the coffee, Jay leaned against the counter with balled fists, his body tight and too exhausted not to shake a little. "I killed him, you know." He didn't know whether he meant it as a confession, or a jab. "On one of those other worlds out there. He'd turned that world's Batman into a monster, then put a bullet through him in the middle of the hugest fight I've ever seen, and... I couldn't let him go. Couldn't let him hurt anyone else. Not after..."
Harley's voice was small as she stood behind him, "He probably deserved it, then," and she laid a cool hand on his shoulder.
Shocked at the touch, Jason pulled away from her. "Don't touch me," he warned, eyes narrowed.
"Sorry," she offered, looking away. "I'm sorry for what he did."
"Not your place to apologize. Just... don't."
"Sorry."
Another narrow-eyed look, and Jay turned back to set up the coffee-maker. As he poured the water into the machine, it hit him, and he paused, mid-pour. "You're not laughing."
"Nope. Got nothin' to laugh over, kiddo."
Something in that struck Jay as being entirely too ironic to put into words, and disturbing, to boot. The force of nature known as Harley Quinn, struck melancholy? Never!
Shooting her a smirk as he finished and hit the button, he offered, "Me, neither. But I bet I can find something to laugh about."
A blonde eyebrow quirked up, and she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned sideways against the refrigerator. "Oh? Whatcha' got in mind?"
"You wanna mess with some heads?" God help him, but at least this would be a departure from the same old routine. Might even earn him a little retribution for what his 'family' had done to him.
"Always!" And there was the first hint of a smile.
Encouraged - and wasn't that just the weirdest thing to happen tonight - by her enthusiasm, Jason hooked a thumb towards the sink. "Grab a mug. Sugar's in the cabinet. I'm thinking this city needs a new and improved masked crime-fighting duo."
"Oh, I like the way you think, kiddo," Harley finally grinned and giggled, straightening herself. "They won't know what hit 'em!"
Despite himself, Jason let out his own dark chuckle, mentally kicking Bruce's Bat-shaped shadow in the nuts. "They sure won't."
* * * * *
Fandom: DCU
Characters: Jason Todd, Harley Quinn
Rating: R - for Jason's mouth
Word Count: 1,504
Prompt: For 50_darkfics: #62 - Shadow
Summary: Jason knows someone is following him. When the shadowy figure finally confronts him, all Jay wants is a cup of coffee to kill the insanity. Set several weeks after the end of Countdown.
Disclaimer: DC and WB own it all. I own nothing. Darnit.
Author's Notes: A little late (as per the Plan), but this one demanded to be a bit longer than what I'd intended. :p
Something to Laugh About
Someone was following him. For the last three weeks, Jason knew someone had been following him, trailing him in the shadows of the seedier neighborhoods of New York that he tended to frequent these days. Not that he cared, but it was getting a little annoying. He hadn't so much as sent anyone to the hospital since he'd gotten back into the swing of things, hadn't even busted up any gangs large enough to realize he was a threat, so that couldn't be it. He certainly hadn't heard anything about a price on his head.
So who the fuck was following him all the damned time?
Wasn't his stalker-ish replacement, wasn't the Golden Boy, sure as shit wasn't the Bat himself. And why the hell would they need to follow him around anyway, or even want to? They'd made it perfectly clear he wasn't wanted in Gotham.
That left... no one Jason could think of. Donna and Kyle were off watching the watchers, and the rest of the Titans and the League seemed to all be off gearing up for whatever-the-fuck crisis Ray Palmer was supposed to have averted.
Chuckling bitterly at the reminder of their failure - if that's what it was - Jay turned down the alley beside his building, weary from a long night of busting heads and breaking arms, and aware of the shadow that moved in behind him. Every night for three freakin' weeks, the same routine. Get back from patrol, notice the skulking figure sliding along the wall, ignore it, and head inside for a beer, a TV dinner, and a mostly-bare mattress. Nothing new at this point, but enough was damn well enough.
Whirling before he got to the fire escape, he mock-lunged at the shadow, teeth bared and snarling. "Who the fuck are you!?" he demanded, pulling himself up short when the figure didn't move from its dark spot behind a dumpster. "The hell do you want!?"
Nothing. No response.
Frustrated to the point of gripping his hair with gloved fingers, he spun again, stalking deeper into the ally to the fire escape. "You'd better fuckin' pray I don't catch you," he grumbled as he began his ascent to the third floor.
* * * * *
Dammit, it was too hot to sleep. Lying sprawled out on the bed in his dingy two-room apartment, Jay stared out at the flashing neon sign across the street. Live Nudes, it flashed, garish pink. God, but he wished that place would close down so he could just get some goddamn sleep. Bad enough it was so hot that he was forced to try to sleep buck-naked and had to turn the box fan on, and was still sweating like a pig, the neon promise of real-life botched boob jobs and fake tans just made him want to slit somebody's throat. Which was bad for business. Nothing like a sleep-deprived ex-killer to bring the rage and catch unwanted attention.
Staring toward the open window with eyes so tired they felt like rocks set into his skull, he watched the flashing, the play of pink as it captured everything in the apartment like a silk scarf thrown over a lamp. The shadows that barely escaped the neon assault.
The shadow that shouldn't have been there.
Oh, he didn't have the brain power left to deal with this. Especially if it was the shadow that had been following him.
"What do you want?" he groaned, scrubbing a hand over his face vigorously and wishing he had a fresh pot of coffee brewed.
The figure didn't move.
His chest tight with exasperation, Jay sat bolt upright in the bed. "Would you say something!? I am getting real fucking tired of this one-way conversation, all right? If you're gonna kill me, just get it over with already." With that, he flopped back down, arms spread at his sides. "I'm too tired to give a shit, so this might be your only chance."
Finally, the rustle of fabric. Movement in the shadow. A heavy curtain pulling back even further than it already was. A face.
Jay's heart froze for a second.
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" he whined, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing them with the heels of his hands.
When he opened them again, the figure had stepped completely free of the shadow. Dressed in fitted jeans and a baby-doll tee, her blonde pigtails hanging limply, and her shoulders slumped, she looked more like a desperate street rat than Jay had ever been.
"What are you doing here, Harley?" he finished through gritted teeth.
"I'm sorry," she offered meekly. "I... I didn't have anywhere else to go. I mean, the Athenean shelters are all shut down now, and Holly went back to Gotham, and Mister--"
"Don't," Jason cut her off with a hard look. He so did not need this tonight. "I get it."
After his brain started working enough for him to grab the sheet and pull it over himself, he spat, "Why me? The fuck have I got to offer? I mean, besides a nice view, apparently."
"I... dunno," Harley shrugged as she dropped into the creaky, old recliner across from the bed. Propping her elbows on her knees and her chin in her hands, she regarded Jason. "I guess since I don't really have a place to be anymore, the best place to be is with someone else with nowhere else to be. You know? Birds of a feather."
"What the hell have you been smoking?" Eying her right back with a raised eyebrow, Jay shook his head. "Your precious boyfriend fuckin' killed me, remember? Birds of a feather, my ass."
Harley gave a half-pout, half-scowl at that. "I didn't have a damned thing to do with that, kiddo. I'm not a monster, just a gal who fell for the wrong guy, all right? I ain't even touched the wrong side of the law since I first went to that shelter. Not once."
The piercing gleam in her eyes told Jay that - as far as she was concerned - she was telling the truth. More than could be said about him, even if he had put all his guns away.
Heaving a sigh, he threw his feet over the side of the bed and wrapped the sheet around his waist, still eying Harley. "This is insane," he muttered as he trudged over to the open kitchen to find some coffee to put on.
From behind him, he heard her rise and follow him. "No, what's insane is how you and me don't mean much o' nothin' to the people that were supposed to protect us and love us and care whether we lived or died. What's insane is how you and me got swallowed up by their damned shadows and left in the dark."
Slamming a cabinet after he'd found the coffee, Jay leaned against the counter with balled fists, his body tight and too exhausted not to shake a little. "I killed him, you know." He didn't know whether he meant it as a confession, or a jab. "On one of those other worlds out there. He'd turned that world's Batman into a monster, then put a bullet through him in the middle of the hugest fight I've ever seen, and... I couldn't let him go. Couldn't let him hurt anyone else. Not after..."
Harley's voice was small as she stood behind him, "He probably deserved it, then," and she laid a cool hand on his shoulder.
Shocked at the touch, Jason pulled away from her. "Don't touch me," he warned, eyes narrowed.
"Sorry," she offered, looking away. "I'm sorry for what he did."
"Not your place to apologize. Just... don't."
"Sorry."
Another narrow-eyed look, and Jay turned back to set up the coffee-maker. As he poured the water into the machine, it hit him, and he paused, mid-pour. "You're not laughing."
"Nope. Got nothin' to laugh over, kiddo."
Something in that struck Jay as being entirely too ironic to put into words, and disturbing, to boot. The force of nature known as Harley Quinn, struck melancholy? Never!
Shooting her a smirk as he finished and hit the button, he offered, "Me, neither. But I bet I can find something to laugh about."
A blonde eyebrow quirked up, and she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned sideways against the refrigerator. "Oh? Whatcha' got in mind?"
"You wanna mess with some heads?" God help him, but at least this would be a departure from the same old routine. Might even earn him a little retribution for what his 'family' had done to him.
"Always!" And there was the first hint of a smile.
Encouraged - and wasn't that just the weirdest thing to happen tonight - by her enthusiasm, Jason hooked a thumb towards the sink. "Grab a mug. Sugar's in the cabinet. I'm thinking this city needs a new and improved masked crime-fighting duo."
"Oh, I like the way you think, kiddo," Harley finally grinned and giggled, straightening herself. "They won't know what hit 'em!"
Despite himself, Jason let out his own dark chuckle, mentally kicking Bruce's Bat-shaped shadow in the nuts. "They sure won't."
* * * * *