Maybe you CAN share your feelings? I mean, the kids haven't forgotten about him - they're probably feeling the same hole you are. Maybe it would be good for all of you to acknowledge it?
I know it's not nearly good enough, but my brother got married shortly after our grandfather's death, and the two of them had been really close. There was a framed photo of my grandfather at the wedding, right by the guest book, and I think it was a nice way for a lot of people to remember him and the vital role he'd played in our family.
I know it's much easier to 'celebrate the life, not mourn the death' when the missing person was over ninety years old, rather than taken far too early. And maybe you're not ready for that kind of reminder, or maybe your son and his fiance don't want it. But I don't think you have to keep this completely to yourself, do you?
You are right. The kids have hardly forgotten and a picture of John somewhere might be a good idea. But I also don't want put a damper on their day. I really don't know what would be best. John will be there, I'm sure of it. I don't think I have to keep it to myself either. I've talked to my youngest, usually when she sees me spontaneously break into tears! She is so very strong for a little girl. My oldest daughter has been amazing. I'm just not sure that I can articulate how I feel. Crazily enough, all of my kids seem to be dealing a little better than me! That's not true of course, we are all just dealing differently.
I have been talking but I don't seem to be able to convey how I feel. The kids (and my family) know...but they don't know. Neither does anyone else I suppse. Still, I am hanging in there. I'm a little battered and bruised but keeping it together. Sort of! Thanks so much.
You can be there for both of you and see the wedding for him with his eyes so to speak. And you can watch the vids of the wedding and tell him how it was. *hugs*
Comments 18
I know it's not nearly good enough, but my brother got married shortly after our grandfather's death, and the two of them had been really close. There was a framed photo of my grandfather at the wedding, right by the guest book, and I think it was a nice way for a lot of people to remember him and the vital role he'd played in our family.
I know it's much easier to 'celebrate the life, not mourn the death' when the missing person was over ninety years old, rather than taken far too early. And maybe you're not ready for that kind of reminder, or maybe your son and his fiance don't want it. But I don't think you have to keep this completely to yourself, do you?
Reply
*deep sigh*
Thanks so much for the two cents.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment