I Found Some More
I know you all are prolly getting really tired of me ranting about her, but I just got off the phone with her before I started cooking dinner, and I must vent. I'll put it behind a cut so you actually have to put some effort into reading it, and it makes it easier to not read, as well. Har. I doubt it'll be very long, but who knows.
It is. It really is fucking insane. She is the most back and forth person I know. She told me last night that she was not under any circumstances, cheating on him. And she did. Not with me, sadly, but with Stephanie. She says she wants a relationship. That she wants to be with someone. Stephanie told her this morning that she wanted to be with her right before Alicia told her she was with Jason.
My fucking god.
So she cheated on him already. They haven't even been going out for twenty four hours. She didn't really even think before she decided to go out with him. She admitted it to me. Now she's prolly gonna dump him and go out with Steph or something. That'll be hilarious, especially when it gets all fucked up. 'Cause it will. Alicia will do it herself, or Steph will, it's inevitable.
Of course, me still being in love with her, I really want to know why, if she wants to be in a relationship so fucking badly, why I'M NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH. *ahem* It bugs me. She goes on and on about how I'm /too/ good for her. WTF. Maybe I am. I dunno. It really shouldn't bug me. But it does. Why on earth am I not good enough for this girl? She says I make her happy. She says I make her feel good. We laugh and have fun together. She said she loves me. I really just fail to see what the fucking issue is.
Luckily, me caring about this isn't as huge a thing as it would have been a week ago. Now I'm pissed and annoyed, rejected-feeling, and yeah, a little sad, but also a little relived. And yet not.
I make no sense.
Argh, I want to rant more, but I don't know what to say. I'm just so pissed.
Fuck it. I'm moving if I get the chance. I'm out of this place. This is so absurdly ridiculus. I need to get away from this town and the many bad memories it has, just like I moved out of my parents house as fast as I could to escape Whitney and so much more from that place. This whole town is one big bad dream.
I'm just curious how many times someone's heart has to be obliterated before they just die from all the pain. I'm afraid to imagine. I've thought I would surely die from heartache three times in my almost twenty years, yet I'm still here. I don't want to think about how much more hurt I have left.
Gonna go home now and hope that Pat stops by. He's in town, BTW. YAY. I forgot to mention that in all of this. I've been distracted. Anyway, I'm going now.
Loves.
It is. It really is fucking insane. She is the most back and forth person I know. She told me last night that she was not under any circumstances, cheating on him. And she did. Not with me, sadly, but with Stephanie. She says she wants a relationship. That she wants to be with someone. Stephanie told her this morning that she wanted to be with her right before Alicia told her she was with Jason.
My fucking god.
So she cheated on him already. They haven't even been going out for twenty four hours. She didn't really even think before she decided to go out with him. She admitted it to me. Now she's prolly gonna dump him and go out with Steph or something. That'll be hilarious, especially when it gets all fucked up. 'Cause it will. Alicia will do it herself, or Steph will, it's inevitable.
Of course, me still being in love with her, I really want to know why, if she wants to be in a relationship so fucking badly, why I'M NOT FUCKING GOOD ENOUGH. *ahem* It bugs me. She goes on and on about how I'm /too/ good for her. WTF. Maybe I am. I dunno. It really shouldn't bug me. But it does. Why on earth am I not good enough for this girl? She says I make her happy. She says I make her feel good. We laugh and have fun together. She said she loves me. I really just fail to see what the fucking issue is.
Luckily, me caring about this isn't as huge a thing as it would have been a week ago. Now I'm pissed and annoyed, rejected-feeling, and yeah, a little sad, but also a little relived. And yet not.
I make no sense.
Argh, I want to rant more, but I don't know what to say. I'm just so pissed.
Fuck it. I'm moving if I get the chance. I'm out of this place. This is so absurdly ridiculus. I need to get away from this town and the many bad memories it has, just like I moved out of my parents house as fast as I could to escape Whitney and so much more from that place. This whole town is one big bad dream.
I'm just curious how many times someone's heart has to be obliterated before they just die from all the pain. I'm afraid to imagine. I've thought I would surely die from heartache three times in my almost twenty years, yet I'm still here. I don't want to think about how much more hurt I have left.
Gonna go home now and hope that Pat stops by. He's in town, BTW. YAY. I forgot to mention that in all of this. I've been distracted. Anyway, I'm going now.
Loves.