(no subject)
It's Yom Kippur, which means literally everything in my country is shut down for 24 hours, including all forms of transport (including private cars), which means it's like enforced vacation from whatever your routine normally looks like.
So, a post!
Let's start with work.
Work has been a lot. Right now, just over a month into it, I'm finally starting to feel like I can see the outline of what it will settle down into. The person training me for this job is... extremely unavailable, which isn't ideal, and has caused me to bang my head against the wall constantly to try and get the most out of her limited availability.
But this week, for the first time, I decided to be more zen about things.
My schedule and plans got screwed up because of her yet again, for the billionth time, but instead of saying "oh shit now I have to cancel everything including stuff I need for my health and spend hours climbing the walls and getting progressively more annoyed and frustrated" I just decided to get on with my plans as they were and let the cards fall where they may.
Surprisingly, everything worked out, I didn't miss anything and didn't end up looking bad or irresponsible, on the contrary, I think the absence of so much of my stress only improved things all around.
So, I'm slowly learning how to do that. How to take the extremely liquid, dynamic schedule and make it work for me, the way everyone else seems to manage to do.
I'm not even CLOSE to being good at it, but at least it's much better than it was a month ago.
I do love that the same looseness at least allows me to work 12 hours from the office one day and then wake up at 10am the next day, work until 4pm, and then go swimming, do 20 minutes of emails for work, and then go out with my friends. Like again, it requires SO MUCH adjusting, and having an unpredictable schedule isn't ideal, but at least it's very far from my nightmare of having a job with long, inflexible hours when I can never leave the building without an excuse. Like, my old job had a lot of flexibility, and I was afraid to lose that, and this job has EVEN MORE most days and I'm glad for that.
The other thing is that 5 weeks in, the work is starting to get... actually interesting. I'm working on real things, bit by bit by myself (still with supervision but not not on the level where I NEED someone's time to do my work, but more like I need someone to look it over before I hand it in to make sure it's OK, and I hope that within the next month that level of supervision will be reduced as well). I'm actually learning tons, doing Real Things and not just throwaway tasks.
Yesterday, on Yom Kippur Eve, we were supposed to work a half-day, but my boss basically implied working was optional and didn't schedule any of the usual meetings. I thought I'd done the right thing by not chasing after the person training me and insisting we do meetings anyway (as I used to do), giving myself the opportunity to work 30-60 minutes from home and call it a day.
But then when all those urgent tasks were done (took 30 minutes) I found myself... wanting to check my work email throughout the day. Wanting to open the work slack. Wanting to text people and work more. Not because I needed to, not because there was something urgent, but because I'm enjoying the work and I just want to spend more time doing it.
I fought that urge, because my #1 instinct is to drown myself in work at all times and I'm trying to be smart and set boundaries from the get-go (best to constantly feel like I can't wait to get back to work and do more stuff than to feel burned out) but... it's amazing to feel that. I've missed doing interesting work I can't wait to get back to, and like I've said previously my current job was my dream option for this round of job searching, and basically this is exactly where I was hoping I'd end up, and I'm so glad it's finally gotten past the annoying training stage and moved into the "oh this is actually super cool" stage.
*
The reason I've kind of been killing myself with the schedule and with chasing after the person training me and putting all my plans on hold and so on, is that before the end of the year I might get a serious promotion. Basically, they're going to have a vacancy in my field, I'm the ideal person to fill it, but the thing is I'm still very new, and it's unclear whether I'll have enough experience by then or they'll have to choose some other temporary solution (that will in time become permanent).
However, once I realized that chasing that possibility was ruining both my physical and mental health, between extreme frustration and the inability to plan my day so that it doesn't make my disability worse, I've decided to put the breaks on being so desperate for it.
Basically, if it happens, great, I'll end up getting a senior, managerial position less than 6 months after starting this job (which is actually what they hinted at to me during the interview process).
If I don't get it, this job is still the best thing I could have asked for at this juncture in time, and after 18 months in my current job - which I'm happy with and that pays amazingly and that I feel very very lucky to have - I can start job hunting again for something even better, where I'll have even more status and even higher pay.
So, I'm just letting go of that "omg if I kill myself now I'll get the promotion" thing and letting the cards fall where they may.
*
The other bittersweet thing I realized about my job is this:
For the first time in my life, I have a job where I could decide tomorrow that I'm going to London for 2 weeks, working from my hotel or a friend's house or something for a week, and then enjoy a week of vacation. Like, I could just go to London for 2 weeks and only use up 1 week of vacation! I can work from abroad and it wouldn't be a big deal, and I have the kind of salary where I can just decide to buy plane tickets.
None of that has ever been true ever in my life.
In fact, if I wanted to visit my family in the US or my friend in Canada, I could actually tell my boss I wanted to go do meetings with clients and staff in those countries, and work would likely pay for my flight and accommodation, and I could do that and then be on vacation for a while.
I could do the thing I've seen friends do before, where I use the September-October window when Israel has all of its holidays and go abroad and basically work for only a few days each week and be on vacation the rest of the time, traveling and seeing friends.
Those are all things that are suddenly possible for me, for the first time EVER.
And the great irony of it all is that I can't really do that, because COVID. Like, I got this job because of COVID (the pandemic was beneficial for my company's business and they started expanding, which included hiring me) and for the same reason, I can't do the amazing fun things I always wished I could do and my previous job didn't allow.
Yes, the pandemic keeps shifting and it hits different peaks at different places and so on, but since I hate traveling in the winter (because it's cold), the window for doing it with year is basically closed, and next year it won't be possible before like, April. And who knows what the status of things will be by then.
*
In other news, the podcast is still going! Wow I'm SO GLAD I only have to put out one episode after I started working, omg. Definitely all the work associated with it was planned for when I was unemployed, now working on it cuts directly into my writing time, which makes me SO SAD, but at the same time I want to finish the season properly.
So, here's the last scripted episode!
Is there a right way to write a matriarchy?
When’s the last time you read a story set in a matriarchy? Did you enjoy it? What are the common tropes to writing matriarchies and who do they serve? In this episode you’ll hear about fantasy and science fiction matriarchies in everything from Star Trek to books by Kameron Hurley, Sarah Rees Brennan, C.S. Pacat and many more, and what they get “right” and “wrong” about this form of social worldbuilding. In the final part of the episode you’ll hear more in detail about a TV show that’s breaking all the rules of fictional matriarchies - “Motherland: Fort Salem”, a show where witches serve in the U.S. military.
As usual, look up Pop Culture Sociologist at your favorite podcast venue or follow the links/listen directly here at my website.
*
Now that the 6 scripted episodes are out though, the next one is going to be fun Q&A! Basically just me sitting and answering questions "live" (though I'll clean up the audio later so there's no annoying repeats or coughs or whatever of course) instead of having it be scripted in advance.
I already have about a dozen questions from listeners but they're mostly from Facebook since FB is just so much better for this sort of thing, and I'd really like some questions from people from other platforms/circles as well?
So, anyway, a reminder of what the 6 episodes were about:
1 - Hannibal as Lolita adaptation
2 - Lyanna Stark, GOT & misogyny
3 - epic queer ship Root/Shaw
4 - The Fifth Season & the X-Men
5 - KJ Charles & “historical accuracy”
6 - Matriarchies in fiction
Questions can be about:
* Tech/production aspects
* How the podcast came into existence
* Questions about specific episodes
* Media you wish I'd mention or talk about in the future
* My thoughts on media I've never mentioned
* literally anything else lol
*
Anyway, that's it for now. So many things are changing or about to change in my life (beloved flatmate R. is moving out and I'll have a different flatmate! A decision I made despite being able to afford my own place because it just felt like it would be a better time, especially in the pandemic? Hope I'm right!) and I'm just trying to enjoy this time and hope the changes don't fuck me up too much lol.
I miss you, everyone reading this ♥
comments on Dreamwidth
So, a post!
Let's start with work.
Work has been a lot. Right now, just over a month into it, I'm finally starting to feel like I can see the outline of what it will settle down into. The person training me for this job is... extremely unavailable, which isn't ideal, and has caused me to bang my head against the wall constantly to try and get the most out of her limited availability.
But this week, for the first time, I decided to be more zen about things.
My schedule and plans got screwed up because of her yet again, for the billionth time, but instead of saying "oh shit now I have to cancel everything including stuff I need for my health and spend hours climbing the walls and getting progressively more annoyed and frustrated" I just decided to get on with my plans as they were and let the cards fall where they may.
Surprisingly, everything worked out, I didn't miss anything and didn't end up looking bad or irresponsible, on the contrary, I think the absence of so much of my stress only improved things all around.
So, I'm slowly learning how to do that. How to take the extremely liquid, dynamic schedule and make it work for me, the way everyone else seems to manage to do.
I'm not even CLOSE to being good at it, but at least it's much better than it was a month ago.
I do love that the same looseness at least allows me to work 12 hours from the office one day and then wake up at 10am the next day, work until 4pm, and then go swimming, do 20 minutes of emails for work, and then go out with my friends. Like again, it requires SO MUCH adjusting, and having an unpredictable schedule isn't ideal, but at least it's very far from my nightmare of having a job with long, inflexible hours when I can never leave the building without an excuse. Like, my old job had a lot of flexibility, and I was afraid to lose that, and this job has EVEN MORE most days and I'm glad for that.
The other thing is that 5 weeks in, the work is starting to get... actually interesting. I'm working on real things, bit by bit by myself (still with supervision but not not on the level where I NEED someone's time to do my work, but more like I need someone to look it over before I hand it in to make sure it's OK, and I hope that within the next month that level of supervision will be reduced as well). I'm actually learning tons, doing Real Things and not just throwaway tasks.
Yesterday, on Yom Kippur Eve, we were supposed to work a half-day, but my boss basically implied working was optional and didn't schedule any of the usual meetings. I thought I'd done the right thing by not chasing after the person training me and insisting we do meetings anyway (as I used to do), giving myself the opportunity to work 30-60 minutes from home and call it a day.
But then when all those urgent tasks were done (took 30 minutes) I found myself... wanting to check my work email throughout the day. Wanting to open the work slack. Wanting to text people and work more. Not because I needed to, not because there was something urgent, but because I'm enjoying the work and I just want to spend more time doing it.
I fought that urge, because my #1 instinct is to drown myself in work at all times and I'm trying to be smart and set boundaries from the get-go (best to constantly feel like I can't wait to get back to work and do more stuff than to feel burned out) but... it's amazing to feel that. I've missed doing interesting work I can't wait to get back to, and like I've said previously my current job was my dream option for this round of job searching, and basically this is exactly where I was hoping I'd end up, and I'm so glad it's finally gotten past the annoying training stage and moved into the "oh this is actually super cool" stage.
*
The reason I've kind of been killing myself with the schedule and with chasing after the person training me and putting all my plans on hold and so on, is that before the end of the year I might get a serious promotion. Basically, they're going to have a vacancy in my field, I'm the ideal person to fill it, but the thing is I'm still very new, and it's unclear whether I'll have enough experience by then or they'll have to choose some other temporary solution (that will in time become permanent).
However, once I realized that chasing that possibility was ruining both my physical and mental health, between extreme frustration and the inability to plan my day so that it doesn't make my disability worse, I've decided to put the breaks on being so desperate for it.
Basically, if it happens, great, I'll end up getting a senior, managerial position less than 6 months after starting this job (which is actually what they hinted at to me during the interview process).
If I don't get it, this job is still the best thing I could have asked for at this juncture in time, and after 18 months in my current job - which I'm happy with and that pays amazingly and that I feel very very lucky to have - I can start job hunting again for something even better, where I'll have even more status and even higher pay.
So, I'm just letting go of that "omg if I kill myself now I'll get the promotion" thing and letting the cards fall where they may.
*
The other bittersweet thing I realized about my job is this:
For the first time in my life, I have a job where I could decide tomorrow that I'm going to London for 2 weeks, working from my hotel or a friend's house or something for a week, and then enjoy a week of vacation. Like, I could just go to London for 2 weeks and only use up 1 week of vacation! I can work from abroad and it wouldn't be a big deal, and I have the kind of salary where I can just decide to buy plane tickets.
None of that has ever been true ever in my life.
In fact, if I wanted to visit my family in the US or my friend in Canada, I could actually tell my boss I wanted to go do meetings with clients and staff in those countries, and work would likely pay for my flight and accommodation, and I could do that and then be on vacation for a while.
I could do the thing I've seen friends do before, where I use the September-October window when Israel has all of its holidays and go abroad and basically work for only a few days each week and be on vacation the rest of the time, traveling and seeing friends.
Those are all things that are suddenly possible for me, for the first time EVER.
And the great irony of it all is that I can't really do that, because COVID. Like, I got this job because of COVID (the pandemic was beneficial for my company's business and they started expanding, which included hiring me) and for the same reason, I can't do the amazing fun things I always wished I could do and my previous job didn't allow.
Yes, the pandemic keeps shifting and it hits different peaks at different places and so on, but since I hate traveling in the winter (because it's cold), the window for doing it with year is basically closed, and next year it won't be possible before like, April. And who knows what the status of things will be by then.
*
In other news, the podcast is still going! Wow I'm SO GLAD I only have to put out one episode after I started working, omg. Definitely all the work associated with it was planned for when I was unemployed, now working on it cuts directly into my writing time, which makes me SO SAD, but at the same time I want to finish the season properly.
So, here's the last scripted episode!
Is there a right way to write a matriarchy?
When’s the last time you read a story set in a matriarchy? Did you enjoy it? What are the common tropes to writing matriarchies and who do they serve? In this episode you’ll hear about fantasy and science fiction matriarchies in everything from Star Trek to books by Kameron Hurley, Sarah Rees Brennan, C.S. Pacat and many more, and what they get “right” and “wrong” about this form of social worldbuilding. In the final part of the episode you’ll hear more in detail about a TV show that’s breaking all the rules of fictional matriarchies - “Motherland: Fort Salem”, a show where witches serve in the U.S. military.
As usual, look up Pop Culture Sociologist at your favorite podcast venue or follow the links/listen directly here at my website.
*
Now that the 6 scripted episodes are out though, the next one is going to be fun Q&A! Basically just me sitting and answering questions "live" (though I'll clean up the audio later so there's no annoying repeats or coughs or whatever of course) instead of having it be scripted in advance.
I already have about a dozen questions from listeners but they're mostly from Facebook since FB is just so much better for this sort of thing, and I'd really like some questions from people from other platforms/circles as well?
So, anyway, a reminder of what the 6 episodes were about:
1 - Hannibal as Lolita adaptation
2 - Lyanna Stark, GOT & misogyny
3 - epic queer ship Root/Shaw
4 - The Fifth Season & the X-Men
5 - KJ Charles & “historical accuracy”
6 - Matriarchies in fiction
Questions can be about:
* Tech/production aspects
* How the podcast came into existence
* Questions about specific episodes
* Media you wish I'd mention or talk about in the future
* My thoughts on media I've never mentioned
* literally anything else lol
*
Anyway, that's it for now. So many things are changing or about to change in my life (beloved flatmate R. is moving out and I'll have a different flatmate! A decision I made despite being able to afford my own place because it just felt like it would be a better time, especially in the pandemic? Hope I'm right!) and I'm just trying to enjoy this time and hope the changes don't fuck me up too much lol.
I miss you, everyone reading this ♥
comments on Dreamwidth