Empty Spaces

[sacred_prophet]

'tear drops cascade onto my pillow, the space we used to fill, the coldness of my room, without you its so still, the stupid grin you used to get at the sight of my face, the way you used to hold me when i was sad, and kiss away my tears, the way you'd call me late at night, and push away my fears, its so cold and empty now, without you in my arms

Comments

[poesravyn]

hmmmmmmmmmmm... this empty space that grows from you seems to have sprouted. where did this orginate? because of the feelings of suspenciful dramatic action, longing love of eternity, and mornings of compassion have recently filled my head with these far away thoughts. i would have to say that this stanza of words seem to be put together for a purpose... may i inquire if so? though i believe that i am just rambling on and on.... [pEacE & lovE] :D

[poesravyn]

i have a favor to ask... would you please for the benefit of improving myself, rip apart my rost recent poem. there is something wrong, off with it and i cant put my finger on it. i am having holly do it, but all she sees is the over-dramatic-cheezy-romantic-novel that seems to gloat its ugly head... that is why i need you. i NEED you to rip it apart and find whats wrong. [side note of its own; i exgerated the emotions so changing words and word arrangment is no problem] PLEASE!!!! i need critism... and no one will give it to me... :(
oh well, if u cant... [peace and love]

[sacred_prophet]

i'm sure that i will have no problem giving it to you, since your need seems so desperate and sincere.