Managed to take back some power today
Last night (Thursday) I was harassed and made to feel afraid for my safety by a bunch of gender-phobic creeps. Today (Friday afternoon) I dealt witth the incident, but I’m still slightly shaken and unsure what to think about what happened.
As most who know me or read me know, I escaped several attempts to kill or hurt me in my hometown by people who hated me over my gender, and have had even more incidents of harassment.
When I moved from Long Island to Ann Arbor I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this like I did. In fact thanks to my friend Jennifer I’ve regained the ability to walk at night without fear. In genral I’ve been feeling pretty safe in A2 (as people round here abbreviate it).
Recently I’ve been feeling like the bus station downtown has become a gathering place for really loud and scary/dangerous people. I’ve tried not to have to take the bus back from downtown after dark. I didn’t realize how bad the situation was until yesterday.
It seems they have also started gathering in front of the downtown library (across the street) and terrorizing people there.
I’d just eaten at the restairant next door and was on my way to U of M when I passed by the library and didn’t even notice them. They started shouting all kinds of gender-phobic stuff, first yelling to each other “Shit! Is that tghing a man or a woman?” Thing?! I happen to be a person! I kept walking, as I had to walk past the whole building to get back to the street I was heading for, and went as fast as possible, though one of them kept it up, screaming at me “you a transsexual or some kind of f-king morphodite? You get a f-king sex change opr couldn’t make up your mind?” I kept walking, as fast as I could without seeming olike I wanted to run. I honestly felt the potential for real violence there. I alsi ffekt pretty damn outraged that I’d been chased away from my library and made to feel afraid to be on a public street.
I dreaded the thought of having to take a bus back, which also made me angry. Luckily nt friend Diane got me home. After telling Rain the whoile thing, she told me I might as well call the cops in the morninf, which I did.
I actually got a much better reaction from the cops here than I did in Long Island. In Bayshore (my hometown), even with a friend whose family’s on the force I couldn’t get one to even listen let alone help after the most blatant incident there (that night made me an activist), while in Ann Arbor I got some really polite people who took the whole incident down and told me that they’d get this taken care of immediately, which I hope happens. I sure am not going to let myself be chased out of my town if I can help it.
I also realized something about myself tonight. I’ve on at least some level been stereotyping police for nearly five years based on what happened in Bayshore, thinking that all of em must be like the jerk I got that night. I’ve been guilty of blanjet prejudice, nowhere near as badly a, say, the people who’ve harrased me but still I’ve been prejudging an entire group based on one person. And that’s something I don’t want to do or have as part of me if I can help it.
The weirdest cibsequence of last night is it may have slightly changed my feelings about cell phones. I’ve told friends that the only way one could have helped me when I needed it would have been if it could dial the USS Enterprise and call for full phaser banks on the people who were after me 5 years ago; I might actually get one, but it’s just gonna be one of those ones that call scops, as at least now I live somewhere if something happens I can expect a response. I’m also glad I got this dealt with, as I don’t feel like a victim like in Long Island, and I’m also glad I live in a place where this is considered excessive behaviour and not to be tolerated.
As most who know me or read me know, I escaped several attempts to kill or hurt me in my hometown by people who hated me over my gender, and have had even more incidents of harassment.
When I moved from Long Island to Ann Arbor I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with this like I did. In fact thanks to my friend Jennifer I’ve regained the ability to walk at night without fear. In genral I’ve been feeling pretty safe in A2 (as people round here abbreviate it).
Recently I’ve been feeling like the bus station downtown has become a gathering place for really loud and scary/dangerous people. I’ve tried not to have to take the bus back from downtown after dark. I didn’t realize how bad the situation was until yesterday.
It seems they have also started gathering in front of the downtown library (across the street) and terrorizing people there.
I’d just eaten at the restairant next door and was on my way to U of M when I passed by the library and didn’t even notice them. They started shouting all kinds of gender-phobic stuff, first yelling to each other “Shit! Is that tghing a man or a woman?” Thing?! I happen to be a person! I kept walking, as I had to walk past the whole building to get back to the street I was heading for, and went as fast as possible, though one of them kept it up, screaming at me “you a transsexual or some kind of f-king morphodite? You get a f-king sex change opr couldn’t make up your mind?” I kept walking, as fast as I could without seeming olike I wanted to run. I honestly felt the potential for real violence there. I alsi ffekt pretty damn outraged that I’d been chased away from my library and made to feel afraid to be on a public street.
I dreaded the thought of having to take a bus back, which also made me angry. Luckily nt friend Diane got me home. After telling Rain the whoile thing, she told me I might as well call the cops in the morninf, which I did.
I actually got a much better reaction from the cops here than I did in Long Island. In Bayshore (my hometown), even with a friend whose family’s on the force I couldn’t get one to even listen let alone help after the most blatant incident there (that night made me an activist), while in Ann Arbor I got some really polite people who took the whole incident down and told me that they’d get this taken care of immediately, which I hope happens. I sure am not going to let myself be chased out of my town if I can help it.
I also realized something about myself tonight. I’ve on at least some level been stereotyping police for nearly five years based on what happened in Bayshore, thinking that all of em must be like the jerk I got that night. I’ve been guilty of blanjet prejudice, nowhere near as badly a, say, the people who’ve harrased me but still I’ve been prejudging an entire group based on one person. And that’s something I don’t want to do or have as part of me if I can help it.
The weirdest cibsequence of last night is it may have slightly changed my feelings about cell phones. I’ve told friends that the only way one could have helped me when I needed it would have been if it could dial the USS Enterprise and call for full phaser banks on the people who were after me 5 years ago; I might actually get one, but it’s just gonna be one of those ones that call scops, as at least now I live somewhere if something happens I can expect a response. I’m also glad I got this dealt with, as I don’t feel like a victim like in Long Island, and I’m also glad I live in a place where this is considered excessive behaviour and not to be tolerated.