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[saddest_smile]

I really don't want to write this entry. It's difficult for me to go back and read this journal...to see myself so hopeful of recovery a year ago

Comments

[steelergirl]

ahhh...I have so much to say but I'm too tired to type it all out right now. Just know that I love you tons.

Sure, maybe this term wasn't perfect, but you can't expect things to change automatically. Starting over is refreshing, but your problems are going to stay wiht you even if you attend a different college.

*thinking of you* and will write more tomorrow.

*hugs*

[saddest_smile]

Thank you. You're always a wonder, you know that? Just seeing your entries help--whether you're having a good day or a bad day.

[pinkseashell]

You try the ND's counseling center again. Just see what happens. Because there is the chance you could start to get much better because of it, but you never know until you try, right?
<3 Hang in there, I've been threw it too, I know how hard and frustrating it is...
I remember my doctors and my parents lying to me. My mum would make me mashed potatoes and said she didn't put any butter in it, but I could taste it, she was just tring to make me gain weight. I made my own food from then on.

lies

[saddest_smile]

No matter how good their intentions are, I think people forget that lies break one of the most valuable bonds: trust. And it's often (not always an irreverseable break). Lies are a temporary solution that can't solve a long-term problem.

*sighs* And heck, we tend to see through it. I wish I could simply accept their concern, their caring...but the lies taint it for me.

Re: lies

[pinkseashell]

Man, I remember when people were trying to get me to eat. They'd lie and shit to me. And even if they weren't, I thought they were still lying to try and make me fat. It's a vicious cycle.