I was browsing through a friend's page a few minutes ago, and checked out his friend's page. He only has one other friend listed--and she (as I already knew) is definitely not on recovery
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When I reached a point in my ed where I had just decided to "live" with it I checked out the pro_ana/mia circuit, and even spent a lot of time on it. Did it make things worse? I don't think so, but I did find like minded people. People who were just lying there and allowing "ana" and "mia" to take over. People who made it okay to just live with it, and I did for a while - I just lived with it
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"I know logic and emotion/ed don't meet sometimes. At least they don't with me. I can understand something logically, but for whatever reason my emotions don't understand it, and my ed manages to win over."
that's the same problem for me. Perhaps it's habit...perhaps it's just the addictive/destructive nature of the ED itself...perhaps it's my personality traits that made me prone to an ED in the first place...but whatever it is, I'm also in that incredibly frustrating position of knowing that this is wrong, and yet not having that knowledge "register" with my emotions.
It will take time...but sometimes, I feel like i've spend so much time in recovery already (in truth, only on-and-off for 1 1/2 years--most people spend at least as much time recovery as they did in the disorder--4 years for me)...and I just want it to be over.
I'm not a child. I can't stamp my feet, throw a temper tantrum, and have things magically go my way anymore.
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that's the same problem for me. Perhaps it's habit...perhaps it's just the addictive/destructive nature of the ED itself...perhaps it's my personality traits that made me prone to an ED in the first place...but whatever it is, I'm also in that incredibly frustrating position of knowing that this is wrong, and yet not having that knowledge "register" with my emotions.
It will take time...but sometimes, I feel like i've spend so much time in recovery already (in truth, only on-and-off for 1 1/2 years--most people spend at least as much time recovery as they did in the disorder--4 years for me)...and I just want it to be over.
I'm not a child. I can't stamp my feet, throw a temper tantrum, and have things magically go my way anymore.
*slight smile* The hard way is the slow way...
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