Battle on all fronts...

[saddest_smile]

I don't know what to write

Comments

[manga_kitten]

sorry i don't have time to comment properly (at work) Just wanted to offer my support. Your mother sounds in all honesty like a bit of a nightmare. Sometimes you do have to practise damage limitation, keep your distance from such people. Very hard to balance when its your mother I know, am in a similar situation myself. And *hugs*, having anyone read your journal like that is traumatic. Try not to fast, I know it feels like comfort but its a hollow promise that the ED gives you. Things will be ok with Adrian I think, relationships are a struggle when your emotions are so wound up but it passes and no real damage is done between people who truly care for one another. Good luck sweetheart

[manga_kitten]

I don't think its a case of not giving your relationship a chance, more being realistic about the nature of it. You can set boundaries without putting up walls. And recognising that you two fall into negative patterns, well it makes sense to put a stop to those. I often feel like I'm so desperate for my mother to love me, but when I try to get close she usually hurts me. Sometimes talking, therapy if possible can help you communicate better, in the meantime its ok to look after yourself even if it means keeping a distance. Take care x

[saddest_smile]

*hugs* Thanks. This situation IS a nighmare. I feel that I'm not giving our relationship a chance when I try to limit contact with her...but I get burned too much, when I try to reach out

[meiga_]

Well, at least your mother went writing a kind mail to you about it. I don't think mine would. But anyway. Writing my dark side has helped me a lot in coping about it. I don't believe in pretending to be all light although I don't advise regurgitating all of our privacy either. I suppose it's a question of balance. I don't know how you should deal with your mother, but I'd act like I am cooperating. In a couple of years she'll see more of the adult in you and you'll feel much more comfortable hopefully. When I read your entries I hear an adult's voice in them. Certainly you'll come out of this fine.

[saddest_smile]

Lol...my mother always writes.

She writes angry emails first, then thinks back on them.
She wrote a few rather horrific emails to our realter...I read through some of them and pursated her to revise them before sendign them off (they were downright cruel, for somethign that was our Realter's mistake, but definitely didn't deserve such cruelty)...I shudder to think of the emails that I didn't "catch."

Just the way my mother is

[uncertainwords]

No one likes bad smell, no one would be glad Bearing other’s bad smell, Also displaying his/her bad smell does not help any thing better, and only make you feel worse. Only the ones who want to take advantages from others weakness would like to get into the dark part, why give those ones a chance?

akandfoiuaenfoaifhj that makes me want to SCREAM.
what an awful invasion.
take care of yourself.

[saddest_smile]

*hugs*

Thanks.
I did scream. Loud and clear...as I was alone in the room. That made me furious too.

[saddest_smile]

Thank you.
Thoughts do help :)
I feel less alone in all of this

[ladyoracle]

My mom is a source of distress for me, too, so I understand. Yet I also feel I can't just cut ties altogether. It may seem like forever, but in a few years you will be totally out of your parents' house and the relationship will have to change then, probably for the better for you.

((hugs))

[saddest_smile]

Thanks for the perspective. I think it would help when I'm completely independent (rather then financially dependent) of them...it won't solve things, but it would be a change for the better, I think.

As for not being able to cut ties...that's exactly how I feel. She drives me crazy, but she's still my mother. I wish, often, that I could just cut her off...but even if I COULD do that, I wouldn't...blood and emotions run deep