I don't always trust myself or my body either, even after years of recovery. But I'm getting closer to that. You have to consistently refeed your body for a really long time before your metabolism gets back to something approaching normal. But it does happen.
And reassuring to hear that, too...that my metabolism will eventually get back to something close to normal. But I'm afraid of the process--I'm afraid of the inevitable weight again, afraid of how I'll feel about my body between the time when I have to let go of the behviors of the ED, and when I'll reap the benefits of recover.
And I don't trust my doctors. I'm not being parnoid in this regard--they have blatantly lied to me before. I need someone to give me experienced and honest medicial advice...but I can't find that here.
i posted here because im not a friend of ed_recovery anylonger although i still read occasionally:
hey! i remember you!! you left awfully suddenly. i visit here so rarely.. a neat coincidence that i caught your only post.
the fight for true separation from ED is the only way to truly get better instead of dancing in between recovery and various types of disordered eating.. to be able to truly separate your identity from ED and be willing to endure the ED recovery transition (gaining weight...eating normally.. and waiting for the body to gain equilibrium on its own.)
i dont know if you remember me.. but i was one of those "omg..i cant eat.. im going to be kicked out of school and hospitalized".. in one year.. i am currently a healthy weight.. and exhibiting few ED behaviors.. my point: IT IS POSSIBLE!!
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It's good to see you again, Michelle. How are you doing?
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I'm sorry you're struggling. *hug*
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And reassuring to hear that, too...that my metabolism will eventually get back to something close to normal. But I'm afraid of the process--I'm afraid of the inevitable weight again, afraid of how I'll feel about my body between the time when I have to let go of the behviors of the ED, and when I'll reap the benefits of recover.
And I don't trust my doctors. I'm not being parnoid in this regard--they have blatantly lied to me before. I need someone to give me experienced and honest medicial advice...but I can't find that here.
Reply
hey! i remember you!! you left awfully suddenly. i visit here so rarely.. a neat coincidence that i caught your only post.
the fight for true separation from ED is the only way to truly get better instead of dancing in between recovery and various types of disordered eating.. to be able to truly separate your identity from ED and be willing to endure the ED recovery transition (gaining weight...eating normally.. and waiting for the body to gain equilibrium on its own.)
i dont know if you remember me.. but i was one of those "omg..i cant eat.. im going to be kicked out of school and hospitalized".. in one year.. i am currently a healthy weight.. and exhibiting few ED behaviors.. my point: IT IS POSSIBLE!!
<3laura
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