(no subject)
My sides ache, they keen alongside my throat. They all ask me "why?" and I say "because I had to"
Of course, I didn't... but you can't convince my stomache that.
I curled up in bed last night, horrified with myself. I keep dreaming of the blonde haired girl, and I hate her so much. It's nice to have someone imaginary (( albeit, once real )) to blame all my sorrows on. I wish a lot of things, but mostly I wish I wasn't lonely.
you may be lonely but you're not alone
Sometimes I think music lies, and then I remember that sometimes It's the only real truth.
I've lost Mandi, and that makes me very sad. I mourned... but there's only so much one person can do.. I'm only one person.
I want to see my ribs, I'm questing for my bones. Can I find them? I don't think so. I'm thankfully ill, but trying to hide it... Doing a bad job. It makes me irritable, and I can't stomache much of anything besides saltines. I haven't gotten my period in two months, but I'm always cramped. My head hurts, even if I haven't purged, and all I want to do is curl up in a ball with my head in someones lap and have a story read to me.
Mama and papa are hell... but every kid complains about their parents.
I'm so typical.
Typical with my 20 extra pounds, carrying them around like a pet labrador.
(( fuck I wish I could shoot it off ))