One generic pet acquisition transmission [30/??? artefacts collected]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ The first thing you will notice when looking at this transmission is a zoetrope sitting on a desk, obstructing most of the video feed.

The second thing you might notice are a pair of feet in the background; specifically a pair of feet sticking out from under a bed.

The third thing you will notice is-- ]

No! No, hey, come b-- You'll be much

Comments

[Action]

[dashboardlite]

Hey, Phil-

[Dean wouldn't know what a zoetrope was even if it was obscuring most of his video feed, which is good, because he's actually at Philip's door, trying the handle and happy to find that it's unlocked.

He does, however, know the telltale whine of a puppy, because he used to travel with one 24/7 back home. Although Dean's version is bigger, likes salads, and bitchfaces when he doesn't get his way.]

...Please tell me that's what I think it is.

[Because he might just die laughing while standing here in your doorway, dude.]

[Action]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ A pause that clearly and silently damns having company NOW, followed by Philip's slightly muffled voice from under the bed. ]

Another reason to change rooms-

[ He pushes himself into view and pulls himself up on the bed, sitting down for a moment while contemplating the next phase of his plan. A curt smile is offered in greeting. ]

-if I don't get it out of here soon?

[Action]

[dashboardlite]

[He shuts the door to keep the animal from escaping the room and crouches by the bedside, peering under the mattress.]

How th'Hell did you get a dog in here, anyway?

[Small-and-Fluffy under there makes a few more skittering noises as tiny claws scrape the hardwood floor, and Dean glances back up at Philip.]

It ain't like they just appear.

[Action]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip stands up. ]

I guess I wasn't paying attention when I went to get something from the closet earlier.

[ Specifics? Specifics. Specifics: ]

Evie and I, we talked about pets, I mentioned a dog I used to want, but apparently that's really not the best thought to remember when you're opening that door.

[ That door. The one Philip looks at now. Pausing. Closing his eyes. Focusing. Opening again.

A breath of relief and Philip holds up a piece of beef jerky. ]

[video]

[40410]

Have you got an animal under there?

[ Why no, Alex doesn't have any experience at all with the mansion and its inhabitants mostly its inhabitants just dumping pets in one's lap; why do you ask? ]

[video]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ DAMN YOU, ACCIDENTAL TRANSMISSION!

Philip pushes himself out from under the bed and quickly reaches for the communicator, still on his knees which alas, is likely no longer an appealing position to Alex. ]

A dog, I think I must've been distracted when I opened the closet.

[video]

[40410]

[ It's not entirely without merit, but it's by far not the thrust of this conversation.

Alex peers under the bed, though there's only so much of a vantage point he can get when he's relying on Philip's screen for visuals. ]

...You're not gonna catch it like that.

[video]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip looks back. He went after the puppy the second it sprang from the closet without giving strategy much thought. It still hasn't emerged again, despite his very clear verbal demands. ]

...You're right. I'll--

[ Now if Philip knows two things then it's how to turn his vision blue by squatting in the dark and how to distract a dog long enough to bash it to death with a pickaxe. ]

I should... probably bait it.

[ Comments on the new plan can be delivered while Philip stands up and gets a piece of beef jerky from the closet. ]

video 1/2

[itsahotone]

[Well, okay, let's face it. Santana's response to all of this is pretty much second nature, and also expected of her. Come on now.]

Nice ass.

video 2/2

[itsahotone]

[Never mind that said ass is not even very visible. The more important detail here is that she instantly regrets saying anything, because dammit she had been doing such a good job of avoiding him after that embarrassing fangirly event.

...Yes, she avoids him after that, but not after finding out about his murderous headvoice. Her priorities are sooooo in order.]

[sadfreezingbrit]

[ Philip's been busy enough sobbing about Daniel's departure to not notice any deliberate avoidance on her part, given that their encounters used to be accidental more often than not.

But now, standing up and leaving the puppy to its own devices, he very clearly remembers the last time they spoke and decides he should be allowed a little reward for not being the one to act like a complete idiot this time. ]

What, just nice? Not the nicest and most incredible arse you've ever seen in the entire universe and beyond? Honestly, that's a bit disappointing.

[ The same words might as well have been said by his mirror. Only with him it's at least apparent that he's joking. ]

[itsahotone]

[SCOWL]

I've seen better.

video;

[eatsyourscience]

...Philip? Who are you talking to?

[He's no stranger to talking to himself, but this is a little different sounding.]

video;

[sadfreezingbrit]

{Probably himself, I mean, who else would be here? }

[ ...Ignoring that Philip has finally caught both a break and a puppy and emerges from under his bed with the spoils of his hunt. ]

I was trying to talk to--

[ A beat. He lifts the puppy. A pause. Puts it down again, holding it in his arm. ]

her, apparently.

video;

[eatsyourscience]

[And clearly the puppy wasn't listening.]

You want to put her back?

video;

[sadfreezingbrit]

I--

[ Damn, up close that thing is really criminally adorable. Philip looks into the camera instead. ]

Er, yes. I suppose. I didn't actually ask for one, I just- I must've drifted off with my thoughts.

[ Or something. He shrugs. ]