All We Are...
Title: All We Are
Author: sadnlonleyme
Pairing/Group: JoonMi
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: --
Summary:
Mireu turned to his side, looking over at the sleeping boy next to him. A smile spread across his face as the other snored loudly, the sound could probably be heard throughout the whole dorm. Oh how he wished that he liked Seungho instead. The other boy have always been there for him, taking care of him, babying him. If anyone was to asked who he trusted the most in the world, the answer would be easy. Seungho. It would be so much simpler if Mireu liked the leader of the group instead, too bad he doesn't, not in the way that he liked Joon. He slowly climbed off the bed, making sure not to wake the other.
Mireu slowly walked over to Joon's bed, reaching down to touch the silk bed sheet with his hands, a memory of them picking it out together flashed through his mind. Right when his fingers came in contact with the cool fabric, a small smile slowly formed on his lips, it was comforting to him for some reason, even if the other members or if he himself went out and bought the same exact sheets, it still wouldn't be the same. Instead of climbing into the bed and snuggling under the covers like he's done so many times before, he sat on the floor, resting his head against the side of the bed. Just sitting there like a lost child, waiting for someone, anyone to comfort him, no that's a lie, he didn't just want anyone, he wanted Joon. Closing his eyes, he thoughts ran wild, mostly focusing about all the things that have happened the past few days. And once again, all sorts of emotions washed through him, frustration, anger, sadness, betrayal, and many more. Sighing deeply, he whispered in a ghostlike voice that he barely ever used, "I'll just have to deal with this one step at a time..."
He didn't want to face the fact that Joon liked someone else, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. If Mireu knew that this was how it was going to end up, he would of never confessed and kept the feelings to himself. Maybe if he had done that instead, things wouldn't be awkward between him and the older boy right now. Then again, he's the only one acting awkward and weird. Joon was still the same person, it was him that was different, it was him that was - no is, ruining their friendship.
Mireu was just confused because Joon told him that he liked him as well, the other even kissed him on the lips, so in Mireu's mind, Joon shouldn't like someone else. He now realized how childish he was to think that way. Just because he only liked Joon, that didn't mean the other only liked him. The real world isn't as simple as Mir-world apparently.
It hurt though, to lose Joon before even really having the other, he was so close, almost within Mireu's grasp, and just like that, he was gone. It's not the end of the world nor did anyone die, yet he felt as if it did, how melodramatic and stupid of him to compare his feelings right now to something so tragic, but what was he really to do? He never experienced rejection of any kind, and this was his first real crush, and boy was he crushed.
"Yeah, hold on. I need to go to my room and grab something."
Mireu's eyes bulged wide open as he heard Joon's voice, he quickly scrambled off the floor. He barely made it to his bed before the door was thrown open by the other boy. Mireu just stared down at his hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world right now, it was then that he noticed that he needed to cut his nails, they were getting long and rough looking, maybe he should go to the nail salon an-
"Mireu.."
Mireu heard his name, he ignored it and refocused his attention on his nails, wondering how they would look if they painted the-
"Chulyong….please...stop ignoring me"
Mireu finally looked up from his nails, his eyes landed on Joon for only a second before he looked past him, at the wall instead. It hurt to even look at him right now, yet he couldn't stop looking at older boy, Joon was like the sun, Mireu can't help but look, be fascinated and captivated by it, even if it was bad for him in the end, "I'm not ignoring you, hyung."
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Joon flinch at the formalities, Mireu barely ever called Joon that, their friendship was way passed that point.
A beautiful frown graced Joon's face, god, only Joon can pull a frown off like that, "Chulyong…I'm so-"
"Joon?" A soft whisper pierced through the tension in the room. The two boys whipped their head to the side, staring at the intruder. Standing in the doorway, with her head poking in was a noona that Mireu loved and respected, he had always liked her, smiling whenever he saw her on the television, but right now, he saw her as the enemy, the Joon-stealer.
"Ah! Mireu-sshi! You are here too!" She gave Mireu a big smile, one that showed sparkles in her eyes, that could probably charm any man she wanted, it was probably that smile that charmed Joon as well. It wasn't hard to see why Joon picked her in the end, she was everything he wasn't.
Actually, even if Mireu didn't want to see her, he was glad for the interruption, he really didn't want to hear Joon apologize again. He was tired of hearing those words over and over again. If the other was really that sorry then Mireu should be able to feel the sincerity in those words then right? Yet all Mireu could feel with every sorry was the words piercing though his heart, because Joon's sorries meant that they would never be, he's sorry that he chose someone else.
Mireu turned his head, looking at the girl as he forced a fake smile on his lips, not like she can tell the difference anyways, "Hey noona. What are you doing here?" He asked, even if he knew the answer, maybe he's a little masochist, putting himself through the pain as she rambled on about how Joon asked her on the date and the plans for the rest of the evening.
Mireu nodded along as if he cared, as his unkept nails pierced the skin on his palms, he forced himself to listen, to endure it all, because this was his wake up call, to remind himself that everything Joon was doing with the girl was with her and not him.
"Ah.. Joon, we should get going, we don't want to be late to our own date now do we?" Her giggling seemed a lot more obnoxious now, no longer the angelic sound that Mireu once thought it was. Mireu watched as the two bid him goodbye, walking toward the room door. The selfish nature of his wanted him to get up and grab Joon's arm, begging him to stay, to choose him instead because they were Joonmi, they belong together like that. But the look that Joon gave her was enough to stop Mireu, he couldn't say he saw love in the older boys eyes, no, he couldn't spot things like that. What he did see was that happy giddy look that Joon gets when he finally figured out a dance move after a long hards day of practice. He let the couple walk off, already in their own little world, forgetting all about him.
Mireu closed his eyes as he leaned his body against the wall, he felt as though he's been battered around a few times with a baseball bat, and in this stupid analogy of his, his heart was the ball. His thoughts wandered around, questioning if he was going to be one of those poor souls that compared their life to every sad analogy, writing poetry, and looking up sad love quotes becau-- out of no where, he felt his body get pulled into a tight embrace, for a second, he let himself believe that Joon did care, and that he came back for him. As his face buried deeper into the other's chest, he knew that it wasn't who he wanted it to be. He knew Joon's body, his smell, his everything, and this person he was hugging didn't match anything. His heart only clenched tighter, he should have known better than to get his hopes up, he felt so stupid. He didn't even noticed Seungho waking up, was it before or after the pair left. Slowly his body started to tremble as the embrace only got tighter, a soothing hand running back and forth on his back.
"It's okay to cry Mireu. It's just me."
Mireu shook his head stubbornly, clenching his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears in but there was only so much he could take. Sobbing soon filled the tiny room, Mireu wrapped his arms around the other, burying his face in deeper as he cried until his heart was content. "I-It's not fair. He's suppose to be with me. Why didn't he choose me? Am I not good enough? HE TOLD ME HE LIKED ME!!" By now, Mireu was a bit hysterical as questions after questions spewed off his lips. To him, everything Joon said felt like a lie now.
Mireu's questions were left unanswered, instead, his body slowly rocked with Seungho's, as the other lulled him back and forth, comforting him the best he could. His whole body trembled as breathing got harder and harder, wishing everything, this pain, all his feelings, and maybe himself, would just all go away. It's not the end of the world nor did anyone die, actually, that's a lie, a little piece of him did.
Author: sadnlonleyme
Pairing/Group: JoonMi
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: --
Summary:
Mireu turned to his side, looking over at the sleeping boy next to him. A smile spread across his face as the other snored loudly, the sound could probably be heard throughout the whole dorm. Oh how he wished that he liked Seungho instead. The other boy have always been there for him, taking care of him, babying him. If anyone was to asked who he trusted the most in the world, the answer would be easy. Seungho. It would be so much simpler if Mireu liked the leader of the group instead, too bad he doesn't, not in the way that he liked Joon. He slowly climbed off the bed, making sure not to wake the other.
Mireu slowly walked over to Joon's bed, reaching down to touch the silk bed sheet with his hands, a memory of them picking it out together flashed through his mind. Right when his fingers came in contact with the cool fabric, a small smile slowly formed on his lips, it was comforting to him for some reason, even if the other members or if he himself went out and bought the same exact sheets, it still wouldn't be the same. Instead of climbing into the bed and snuggling under the covers like he's done so many times before, he sat on the floor, resting his head against the side of the bed. Just sitting there like a lost child, waiting for someone, anyone to comfort him, no that's a lie, he didn't just want anyone, he wanted Joon. Closing his eyes, he thoughts ran wild, mostly focusing about all the things that have happened the past few days. And once again, all sorts of emotions washed through him, frustration, anger, sadness, betrayal, and many more. Sighing deeply, he whispered in a ghostlike voice that he barely ever used, "I'll just have to deal with this one step at a time..."
He didn't want to face the fact that Joon liked someone else, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. If Mireu knew that this was how it was going to end up, he would of never confessed and kept the feelings to himself. Maybe if he had done that instead, things wouldn't be awkward between him and the older boy right now. Then again, he's the only one acting awkward and weird. Joon was still the same person, it was him that was different, it was him that was - no is, ruining their friendship.
Mireu was just confused because Joon told him that he liked him as well, the other even kissed him on the lips, so in Mireu's mind, Joon shouldn't like someone else. He now realized how childish he was to think that way. Just because he only liked Joon, that didn't mean the other only liked him. The real world isn't as simple as Mir-world apparently.
It hurt though, to lose Joon before even really having the other, he was so close, almost within Mireu's grasp, and just like that, he was gone. It's not the end of the world nor did anyone die, yet he felt as if it did, how melodramatic and stupid of him to compare his feelings right now to something so tragic, but what was he really to do? He never experienced rejection of any kind, and this was his first real crush, and boy was he crushed.
"Yeah, hold on. I need to go to my room and grab something."
Mireu's eyes bulged wide open as he heard Joon's voice, he quickly scrambled off the floor. He barely made it to his bed before the door was thrown open by the other boy. Mireu just stared down at his hands as if they were the most interesting thing in the world right now, it was then that he noticed that he needed to cut his nails, they were getting long and rough looking, maybe he should go to the nail salon an-
"Mireu.."
Mireu heard his name, he ignored it and refocused his attention on his nails, wondering how they would look if they painted the-
"Chulyong….please...stop ignoring me"
Mireu finally looked up from his nails, his eyes landed on Joon for only a second before he looked past him, at the wall instead. It hurt to even look at him right now, yet he couldn't stop looking at older boy, Joon was like the sun, Mireu can't help but look, be fascinated and captivated by it, even if it was bad for him in the end, "I'm not ignoring you, hyung."
From the corner of his eyes, he could see Joon flinch at the formalities, Mireu barely ever called Joon that, their friendship was way passed that point.
A beautiful frown graced Joon's face, god, only Joon can pull a frown off like that, "Chulyong…I'm so-"
"Joon?" A soft whisper pierced through the tension in the room. The two boys whipped their head to the side, staring at the intruder. Standing in the doorway, with her head poking in was a noona that Mireu loved and respected, he had always liked her, smiling whenever he saw her on the television, but right now, he saw her as the enemy, the Joon-stealer.
"Ah! Mireu-sshi! You are here too!" She gave Mireu a big smile, one that showed sparkles in her eyes, that could probably charm any man she wanted, it was probably that smile that charmed Joon as well. It wasn't hard to see why Joon picked her in the end, she was everything he wasn't.
Actually, even if Mireu didn't want to see her, he was glad for the interruption, he really didn't want to hear Joon apologize again. He was tired of hearing those words over and over again. If the other was really that sorry then Mireu should be able to feel the sincerity in those words then right? Yet all Mireu could feel with every sorry was the words piercing though his heart, because Joon's sorries meant that they would never be, he's sorry that he chose someone else.
Mireu turned his head, looking at the girl as he forced a fake smile on his lips, not like she can tell the difference anyways, "Hey noona. What are you doing here?" He asked, even if he knew the answer, maybe he's a little masochist, putting himself through the pain as she rambled on about how Joon asked her on the date and the plans for the rest of the evening.
Mireu nodded along as if he cared, as his unkept nails pierced the skin on his palms, he forced himself to listen, to endure it all, because this was his wake up call, to remind himself that everything Joon was doing with the girl was with her and not him.
"Ah.. Joon, we should get going, we don't want to be late to our own date now do we?" Her giggling seemed a lot more obnoxious now, no longer the angelic sound that Mireu once thought it was. Mireu watched as the two bid him goodbye, walking toward the room door. The selfish nature of his wanted him to get up and grab Joon's arm, begging him to stay, to choose him instead because they were Joonmi, they belong together like that. But the look that Joon gave her was enough to stop Mireu, he couldn't say he saw love in the older boys eyes, no, he couldn't spot things like that. What he did see was that happy giddy look that Joon gets when he finally figured out a dance move after a long hards day of practice. He let the couple walk off, already in their own little world, forgetting all about him.
Mireu closed his eyes as he leaned his body against the wall, he felt as though he's been battered around a few times with a baseball bat, and in this stupid analogy of his, his heart was the ball. His thoughts wandered around, questioning if he was going to be one of those poor souls that compared their life to every sad analogy, writing poetry, and looking up sad love quotes becau-- out of no where, he felt his body get pulled into a tight embrace, for a second, he let himself believe that Joon did care, and that he came back for him. As his face buried deeper into the other's chest, he knew that it wasn't who he wanted it to be. He knew Joon's body, his smell, his everything, and this person he was hugging didn't match anything. His heart only clenched tighter, he should have known better than to get his hopes up, he felt so stupid. He didn't even noticed Seungho waking up, was it before or after the pair left. Slowly his body started to tremble as the embrace only got tighter, a soothing hand running back and forth on his back.
"It's okay to cry Mireu. It's just me."
Mireu shook his head stubbornly, clenching his eyes shut, trying to keep the tears in but there was only so much he could take. Sobbing soon filled the tiny room, Mireu wrapped his arms around the other, burying his face in deeper as he cried until his heart was content. "I-It's not fair. He's suppose to be with me. Why didn't he choose me? Am I not good enough? HE TOLD ME HE LIKED ME!!" By now, Mireu was a bit hysterical as questions after questions spewed off his lips. To him, everything Joon said felt like a lie now.
Mireu's questions were left unanswered, instead, his body slowly rocked with Seungho's, as the other lulled him back and forth, comforting him the best he could. His whole body trembled as breathing got harder and harder, wishing everything, this pain, all his feelings, and maybe himself, would just all go away. It's not the end of the world nor did anyone die, actually, that's a lie, a little piece of him did.