So i got through Christmas and now i just have my Mother's birthday in a few days. After that, i don't see any big important dates being too tarnished. i've begun going to bars for Shirley Temples and some crazy notion that a girl will walk up to me and say all the things that need to be said. i'm so fucking lonely and i have tried everything short
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i wish i had seen this sooner. I didn't know of its existance until it was too late. I miss you Billy and i am so so sorry that you didn't find what you were seeking in visiting us all and meeting your nephews, I wish you knew how much they adored you and how much i love you and how much we all wanted and needed you in our lives. It saddens me reading all of this after it being too late. I feel terribly guilty for not being more involved in your life even these darker sides. I miss you Big Brother. I know you fought for a long time and i am happy you are at peace and did what you felt was best for you. I love you.
Until we meet again, Rest peacefully beautiful soul,
Your sis, Sam.
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